The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: evan on March 21, 2006, 08:54:14 am
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03212006
Ray holds the bottle of Christian Brothers behind his back until the Jeep is close enough. Awesome. I also like the wide shot of the acres with the crane visible in the background.
Unfortunatly, now they're out of whiskey...
edit: a friend pointed out that there's a cat skull on the front of the white Jeep. awesome
<-- post number 100
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Hot damn.
Nice Jeeps, too.
EDIT: Merged and redundant link deleted!
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Those are some great looking Jeeps. Man, Onstad could get a second job* as an automotive illustrator. Good stuff.
* Or rather, a first.
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Those are some great looking Jeeps. Man, Onstad could get a second job* as an automotive illustrator. Good stuff.
* Or rather, a first.
His first job is to give a shit about what you say
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The Jough has got no mercy.
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The Jough has got no mercy.
I know his only weakness. Unfortunately, I am under contractual obligation never to reveal it.
Sorry about that
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Holy crap, of what is that skull made? It is hell of flammable. Brandy alone won't sustain that kind of deathsplosion, especially after two knuckleheads been drinking it down.
Also, it could be my mistake (I am not very knowledgeable about cars) but something feels off about the Jeeps. Their styling seems a little too modern for the feel of the Great Outdoor Fight. I can't get the feeling that these are the same Jeeps that were splattered with the blood of the Schweitz triplets in 1962.
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I think the Jeeps are new. I somehow don't imagine that the GOF makes all that much money, but I think we now know where all of that profit goes.
oh and: HELLLLLLLLLL YESSSSSSSSSSS!
This is what insomnia is all about. As much as I enjoyed Roast Beef's time in the sun, I think it has clearly become Ray's show now. And really, that feels right. C. Head was all about showing the weaknesses in Ray's character. This time he's the man of the hour.
I wouldn't mind seeing this arc in 90s-style black & white, staple-bound, normal-size comicbook format. Something to rot proudly in a milkcrate stacked in with The Disposable Assassin, Milk & Cheese, The Tick, THB, and that kind of stuff. Stupid graphic novels. Cool comics used to be cheap, dammit.
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Ray has gone all McGuyver on us. He can use the cheap-ass brandy not only to get wasted, but to lay waste. Awesome, Onstad.
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Those may not be '62-era jeeps, but they certainly don't have to be new. They look like they could happily be shot up by the A-Team or maybe drive through a storefront in Roadhouse. I particularly enjoyed the detail of the VROOOOOO being interrupted by a shift.
From the thinking too deeply about it department, I was sure that Christian Brothers brandy would come in a plastic bottle, and thus would make a poor Molotov Cocktail. The cat in the thong has proven otherwise. What is he using for a fuse, anyway?
Side note: I totally have the A-Team theme stuck in my head now. It's also 2:30 AM and I fly to a conference tomorrow, but I finished packing and properly loading my mp3 player with my latest CDs. I got Priorities.
Great Outdoor Fight spectating resumes Saturday!
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thinking...
Three jeeps in this comic, but if we read the previous day's strip literally (that is, nobody is leaving their minivan keys next to The Jeeps') then we should expect two more.
Man this is just too rad.
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Side note: I totally have the A-Team theme stuck in my head now.
Ahhh... The A-Team. Sometimes I wish that I had been born earlier in the twentieth century so that I might have had the chance to grow up watching episodes about a crack commando unit sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
Then I remember that by virtue of being born in 1987 I was spared the horror of truly witnessing the eighties and early ninteties. Not even Mr T destroying fools on a weekly basis would be worth that....
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1987?
The fuck?
So what, you're like 13 or something?
Also, i'm constantly amazed by Onstad's ability to do action. These little bursts of violence are fantastic!
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Dammit... AW was right!
I hate it when that happens.
In all fairness those are some pretty "Boss" Jeeps. I'm a little concerned that some shoddy liquor took one out so easily. Maybe it was covered in gasoline already? I DO NOT KNOW. I am sorry about this.
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born in 1987
Wow. I feel old reading that, and I was only born in '84.
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1987?
The fuck?
So what, you're like 13 or something?
I am nineteen. Not that that is very old or anything, but not quite thirteen either.
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Beef's eyebrows are great in this strip. I'm trying to decipher what is on that Jeep's front. Jeep's doing friggin' WHEELIES! Of course that had to happen! And Ray takes them out. He will not betray his longest dogg.
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In all fairness those are some pretty "Boss" Jeeps. I'm a little concerned that some shoddy liquor took one out so easily. Maybe it was covered in gasoline already? I DO NOT KNOW. I am sorry about this.
Apology accepted.... this time.
It is common knowledge that the jeeps at The Field are thoroughly doused in petrol laced with PCP before being loosed, in order to assure an uninhibited, homicidally intoxicated driver.
This was in direct response to the infamous Stand Down of '61, when the jeeps refused to mow down the teenaged duo of Moe "fingers" Maguire and Babyface Jose Gutierrez. According to legend the two did not have mercy on their would-be killers, and the resulting loss of staff nearly bankrupted the Fight in insurance premium hikes.
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Then I remember that by virtue of being born in 1987 I was spared the horror of truly witnessing the eighties and early ninteties. Not even Mr T destroying fools on a weekly basis would be worth that....
On the other hand, I find it a little sad that you don't remember the time before radio went completely to crap.
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See I told you. I knew there wouldn't be any more hitting.
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Man, and to think I was worried Ray wouldn't be worthy. Rodney threw a beer bottle through a man's head. Son of Rodney threw a brandy bottle through a Jeep! I wouldn't want to be in the second one Ray goes after.
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guys, guys
this (the comic) is real absurd; it's kind of missing the point to be speculating about whether Christian Brothers makes a good molotov
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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It is common knowledge that the jeeps at The Field are thoroughly doused in petrol laced with PCP before being loosed, in order to assure an uninhibited, homicidally intoxicated driver.
This was in direct response to the infamous Stand Down of '61, when the jeeps refused to mow down the teenaged duo of Moe "fingers" Maguire and Babyface Jose Gutierrez. According to legend the two did not have mercy on their would-be killers, and the resulting loss of staff nearly bankrupted the Fight in insurance premium hikes.
Hmmm. Note to Moderator: Could we keep the Achewood Fan Fiction segregated to another area please?
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Dang, Onstad sure does like to draw him some cars. I can vouch for the fact the Christian Brothers does come in a glass bottle, though. Years of exposure to dozens of alcoholic Wisconsinite relatives gives me an intimate knowledge of off-brand brandys.
I just can't wait for Beef to get in on the action. Sure, he seems shocked now, but once he realizes that they actually have a chance, I see him contributing, and it will be bad ass.
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Holy crap, of what is that skull made? It is hell of flammable. Brandy alone won't sustain that kind of deathsplosion, especially after two knuckleheads been drinking it down.
Clearly it is filled with black powder.
From the thinking too deeply about it department, I was sure that Christian Brothers brandy would come in a plastic bottle, and thus would make a poor Molotov Cocktail. The cat in the thong has proven otherwise. What is he using for a fuse, anyway?
Ray always keeps an extra thong handy.
Then I remember that by virtue of being born in 1987 I was spared the horror of truly witnessing the eighties and early ninteties. Not even Mr T destroying fools on a weekly basis would be worth that....
Word up, 1987!
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The things that make you register for an account...
The square headlight Jeeps were manufactured from 1987 to 1995. So, no, they are not from 1962.
"Fact-checking a message board about cartoon cats since 2006."
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Dammit... AW was right!
I hate it when that happens.
In all fairness those are some pretty "Boss" Jeeps. I'm a little concerned that some shoddy liquor took one out so easily. Maybe it was covered in gasoline already? I DO NOT KNOW. I am sorry about this.
I was going to say that it doesn't look like the shoddy liquor took it out so much as the driver is panicking and about to crash on his own but damn that flame gets big on its own. Mainly I was too sick to read the board yesterday and just need to say something because I was going through withdraw.
Also, the cloth is the one Ray has been using to wipe other dudes' blood off his hands and face. It's probably a piece of a shirt from one of those jackasses in the comical hats from Day 2.
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The jeeps look almost like 3D models traced in Illustrator, or perhaps photographs. Or Chris Onstad is a gifted technical artist.
Either way I sort of wish there existed resources on the GOF grounds to allow Ray to handcuff the driver of one of those Jeeps to his smoldering ready-to-blow vehicle, offering him the chance to saw off his hand before walking away. Oh and then escaping the grounds in a tiny helicopter wrested from the hands of a crazy person.
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man.
you being born in 1987 pisses me off. I am one year younger than you, hombre.
most or all of the things I was going to say have been said. So.
bye for now! I will be back by... saturday!
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The things that make you register for an account...
The square headlight Jeeps were manufactured from 1987 to 1995. So, no, they are not from 1962.
"Fact-checking a message board about cartoon cats since 2006."
Education.
Thank you, rpwalk, for not fuck*ng up your first post. You. Are. Rad.
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Oh, I'm sure the cars in Achewood are live traces from photographs, but that makes them no less impressively cleaned-up and made into comic art.
Illustrator is awesome for making vector art out of photographs, especially with the new version. For instance, this only took about an hour:
(http://wordfront.com/images/designs/my_other_car_is_your_mom.gif) (http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=24046&motive_id=572106)
(10 cans to the first person to identify the above car)
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Oh, I'm sure the cars in Achewood are live traces from photographs, but that makes them no less impressively cleaned-up and made into comic art.
Illustrator is awesome for making vector art out of photographs, especially with the new version. For instance, this only took about an hour (and most of that time was making sure it would work on a t-shirt):
(http://wordfront.com/images/designs/my_other_car_is_your_mom.gif) (http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=24046&motive_id=572106)
(10 cans to the first person to identify the above car)
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It's a Bel-Aire...'56?
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It is a Bel-Aire, but not a '56 (close, though).
Good call. I figured someone would get that one, but I didn't expect so quickly.
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I was going to say 53 Bel-Aire, but am probably wrong. I know nothing of Chevys.
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1955 Bel-Air
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born in 1987
The hell? I got ties older than that.
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Dammit... AW was right!
I hate it when that happens.
You hate it when I'm right? Dang, that must leave you miserable virtually all of the time.
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You hate it when I'm right? Dang, that must leave you miserable virtually all of the time.
Virtually my friend.. only virtually.
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Woot!
Thanks, Jough. What year is it, anyway?
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I was born in '87 too.
All I can say to this strip is FUCK yes.
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What I think would have really made this strip would have been if Ray had made the Molotov wick from his thong, leaving him truly in a state of nature (well, below the belt, anyway) to confront whatever wrath this produces from the remaining Jeeps. On the other hand, it being a strip of fabric from the former-honky-tonk-blowjobs-now-cowboy-sauce (the Fight has given us too damn many classic phrases) is also fitting.
Also, thanks to rpwalk for one of the best first posts ever. I approve!
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Holy crap, of what is that skull made? It is hell of flammable. Brandy alone won't sustain that kind of deathsplosion, especially after two knuckleheads been drinking it down.
Alright, I've been holding off, but I feel I finally have something to contribute:
It's not a skull. It's a plush toy lashed to the grille.
For more on the bizarre phenomenon of cute and cuddly stuffed animals lashed to the front of tough men's trucks, see the New York Times article, "They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?" Here's an excerpt (don't read if you're annoyed by the overly long first post):
A bear with a prominent grease spot on his little beige nose spends his days wedged behind the bumper guard of an ironworker's pickup in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. A fuzzy rabbit and a clown, garroted by a bungee cord, slump from the front of a Dodge van in Park Slope. Stewie, the evil baby from ''Family Guy,'' scowls from the grille of a Pepperidge Farm delivery truck in Brooklyn Heights, mold occasionally sprouting from his forehead.
All are soldiers in the tattered, scattered army of the stuffed: mostly discarded toys plucked from the trash and given new if punishing lives on the prows of large motor vehicles, their fluffy white guts flapping from burst seams and going gray in the soot-stream of a thousand exhaust pipes.
Grille-mounted stuffed animals form a compelling yet little-studied aspect of the urban streetscape, a traveling gallery of baldly transgressive public art. The time has come not just to praise them but to ask the big question. Why?
That is, why do a small percentage of trucks and vans have filthy plush toys lashed to their fronts, like prisoners at the mast? Are they someone's idea of a joke? Parking aids? Talismans against summonses?"
By ANDY NEWMAN (NYT) 1762 words
Published: November 13, 2005
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It's not a skull. It's a plush toy lashed to the grille.
I believe you are correct.
~Paul
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Mmm...Achewood...how I've missed thee...
Oh but to know that I, too, have been missed...
This strip still makes me happier than all getout...giggly like a schoolgirl...
The big project for school is over and I'm back from Paris and I have returned! Mwahaha! I mean..:)
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It is a '55 Bel-Aire, although I had to square-off the back a little to make the perspective look right.
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The big project for school is over and I'm back from Paris and I have returned! Mwahaha! I mean..:)
Can I just say how much I love the Inline Edit button when it comes to reading tiny tiny fonts? No more copying and pasting or hitting quote like a savage
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Can I just say how much I hate tiny fonts that can't be read without special effort? It is not funny anymore.
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Can I just say how much I hate tiny fonts that can't be read without special effort? It is not funny anymore.
Great, now you're going to get a bunch of responses from brats like this.
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Can I just say how much I hate tiny fonts that can't be read without special effort? It is not funny anymore.
Thanks for standing up for us geriatrics. I hate this too.
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I will admit to using small fonts on occasion, but always with a narrative implied. Since it's hard to convey emotion or intonation through typing, and I think emoticons are the cheap way out, I'll use font sizes, typefaces, or text effects to convey that.
Still, I never go below 6pt. I have some respect for the internet.
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Thanks for standing up for us geriatrics. I hate this too.
Likewise. Making it small enough that you can still read it unaided can be amusing, but beyond that is just annoying.
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I apologize. It was only because what was in the tiny font was of so little importance. Kind of like this.
Oh bother.
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Great, now you're going to get a bunch of responses from brats like this.
And raise your hand if you just knew that misterQ was going to be one of them.
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*raises hand sky high*
But then, what would TOUAMB be without Q's bratty responses. :)
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Now I want to know how the other two jeeps will fall to Ray's ingenious use of left-over turkey, and a spork, respectively.
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Is there some way to disable a car engine with skillful insertion of a spork? This seems like something that someone on this board would know.
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Sure there is. Position the spoony part of the sport against the air intake butterfly. It'll keep the valve from opening, keep the engine from getting enough air, and prevent engine workage.
Alternatively, if you wanted it to work for a little while first, put your spork handle into the oil sender line, either at the bottom of the block or near the pump. The engine will work until the oil ceases flowing, which will cause either a crippling overheating or a complete seizure. Either one is no good.
You could probably just jam it in the driver's eye, too.
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acoxcae = macguyver
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acoxcae = macguyver
"Acoxcae, save us from the Jeeps!"
"What do I have to work with?"
"A spork, some crappy newbie posts, and a tiny can of Dr. Pepper"
14 seconds later:
"Amazing! How did you do it?"
"I'm acoxcae! LOL!"
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The things that make you register for an account...
The square headlight Jeeps were manufactured from 1987 to 1995. So, no, they are not from 1962.
"Fact-checking a message board about cartoon cats since 2006."
Alright, I've been holding off, but I feel I finally have something to contribute:
It's not a skull. It's a plush toy lashed to the grille.
For more on the bizarre phenomenon of cute and cuddly stuffed animals lashed to the front of tough men's trucks, see the New York Times article, "They're Soft and Cuddly, So Why Lash Them to the Front of a Truck?" Here's an excerpt (don't read if you're annoyed by the overly long first post):
Two absolutely first-rate first-posts. Lurkers, take a fucking page from these books.
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Hear him! Hear him!
Say something worthwhile or STFU. Kudos to those two.
Hmmm... guess I've just violated my own rule...
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AW: More than somewhat, but your calming fried egg visage will save you everytime in my books.
For my money it still looks like a skull but given how easily it went up I'll accept 'plush toy skull'.
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acoxcae = macguyver
My SO is macguyver?! AWESOME!...and to think it only took like two years to discover this...and with the help of TOUAMB...hmmm...
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My SO is macguyver?! AWESOME!...and to think it only took like two years to discover this...and with the help of TOUAMB...hmmm...
Yeah but now you've got to constantly fend off Patty and Selma. Not to mention the occasional trips to Stargate Command.
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Yeah but now you've got to constantly fend off Patty and Selma. Not to mention the occasional trips to Stargate Command.
"Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver."
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My SO is macguyver?! AWESOME!...and to think it only took like two years to discover this...and with the help of TOUAMB...hmmm...
Sometimes all it takes is a fresh perspective. Like when Lois found out that Clark was Superman, it was like, "Oh, so that's why I've never seen them together; and everytime a plane is going to crash, Clark disappears!"
Lois Lane is not very smart, for a reporter.
Not to say that you're not bright, in fact you are Sunny!
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Hobot, I think I am in love with you.
but really, you made me laugh. Congrats on that.
I just imagined one of those scenes where a guy is trying hard not to be aroused, and he's like 'um... baseball. richard nixon....macguyver... NOOOOO'
the man thinks about MacGuyver, and it makes him aroused.
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Why wouldn't he?
The thought of saving the day (and the damsels) with nothing but my wits and a paper-clip should make everyone aroused!
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Hobot, I think I am in love with you.
but really, you made me laugh. Congrats on that.
I just imagined one of those scenes where a guy is trying hard not to be aroused, and he's like 'um... baseball. richard nixon....macguyver... NOOOOO'
the man thinks about MacGuyver, and it makes him aroused.
As flattered as I am to be the object of your internet affections, I cannot live a lie: That post of mine that made you laugh was just a quote from "The Simpsons." I am sorry about this; if you don't love me anymore, I understand.
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The Simpsons references only make you more loveable around here, Ho'.
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The Simpsons references only make you more loveable around here, Ho'.
Really, I'm only here to pick up Cort's (occasional) slack.
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oh.
I was thinking more "spread your legs and think of england"
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oh.
I was thinking more "spread your legs and think of england"
I am sorry to have failed you.
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I'll forgive you.
...cause I love you(??)
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Really, I'm only here to pick up Cort's (occasional) slack.
Sorry, I've been sick. This is the first I've even read the board in 5 days and I wasn't totally coherent then. I'll try to do better.
Also: I fuck*ng hate chicken soup.
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Sorry to hear you were ill, CJ. I'm sure we'll have you back and CJing things right and left any time now.
Any time now...
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Damn I feel like a heel for not noticing you were missing for five damn days. I was too wrapped up in my own problems with deer and shit. Sorry you were ill. Hope you get to feeling better. Say you love Texas and you'll feel better.
~Paul