The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => History => Topic started by: jough on April 17, 2006, 04:49:42 pm
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http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/15/national/main1501163_page2.shtml
Of note:
nvestigators searched his apartment after he aroused their suspicions at a checkpoint, and found a large plastic tub in a bedroom closet. According to a police affidavit, he confessed that he killed Jamie Rose Bolin, telling FBI agents: "Go ahead and arrest me. She is in there. I chopped her up."
Underwood also joked about cannibalism on his online diary, discussed the effects of not taking his anti-depression medication and mentioned "dangerously weird" fantasies.
He said one of his main interests was the online role-playing game "Kingdom of Loathing," in which stick figures battle one another.
He wrote that he rarely left his apartment for long stretches, except to go to work and to buy food. "I just sit here at the computer every minute of the day, when I'm not at work. A week or so ago, I spent my day off sitting here at the computer, barely moving from the chair, for 14 hours."
The same could probably be said about me, although for the record I have never been caught dismembering a ten year old girl for the purposes of eating her. Yeah, I know, lots of qualifiers in that sentence.
Now I'll take those Kingdom of Loathing fights seriously!
You can be the killer's friend on MySpace (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=57122857&blogID=92892578) or read his blog (http://futureworldruler.blogspot.com/) too.
It looks like that news story took ALL of its information from his Blogger profile (http://www.blogger.com/profile/861706). Also, I should point out that "If you were a cannibal what would you wear to dinner?" is not from the killer, but is actually a default Blogger question for profiles. I've seen that one before, and always thought it was in bad taste (excuse the pun).
Via. (http://waxy.org/links/)
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Someone needs to remind reporters that correlation != causation. Weirdoes use their computers a lot and play games and such yes. Some weirdoes are also homicidal fucks.
Some people who appear otherwise are also homicidal fucks. Should I avoid Republicans and "Focus on the Family" types because Ted Bundy associated with both groups?*
*No, because there are plenty of other reasons not to.
Damn our brains' need for ease of massive amounts of information storage through association!
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As I understand it, the KoL community is a little shocked by this because he was an active member of the community, a fairly high-powered player, and a regular in one of the biggest social chat channels. A lot of people are scrambling to make it clear that the KoL playerbase doesn't approve of cannibalism, and I believe one of the big community guys is taking up a collection for the family of the victim... it's really sort of heartening and bizarre.
Anyway, why the hell was that a standard Blogger question? "Wackiness?" I mean, tasteless. Gah.
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Is it wrong that I find people describing that question as "tasteless" sort of vaguely funny? I am a horrible person.
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Huh. He likes Weird Al. He must be a cannibal.
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Someone needs to remind reporters that correlation != causation. Weirdoes use their computers a lot and play games and such yes.
AND some people who use their computers a lot are NOT weirdos, thank you very much.
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Well, I hope the KoL people don't have to go very far to distance themselves from cannibalism. That should go without saying. Nice of them to collect for the family, though.
I don't see where anyone is confusing correlation with causation. It seems to me they are just reporting whatever facts they have. Sure, walking upright and breathing oxygen is something every human serial killer does, but those two facts aren't really worth reporting. The lifestyle stuff is interesting, though, and is what differentiates him from most other people.
Fucked up story.
If you spend 14 hours straight sitting in front of your computer and you don't take your anti-depressants for two months, things probably will happen.
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AND some people who use their computers a lot are NOT weirdos, thank you very much.
We like to think so don't we.
~Paul
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The scary thing about stories like this is, if they keep playing up the games-playing and blogging aspect of it, eventually enough critical mass will appear for actively surveilliing MMORPGs, Blogs, and the web in general for posts and conversations in real time.
Law enforcement has been entrapping pedophiles for years by posing as kids on AOL and now, I;m sure, MySpace. It's just a matter of time before constantly real time surveillance via software becomes possible if stuff like this keeps happening.
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If you spend 14 hours straight sitting in front of your computer and you don't take your anti-depressants for two months, things probably will happen.
What are you saying? The worst thing I've ever done to society is to host this forum.
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I made the provisional 'probably' just for you, G. O. D.
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If you spend 14 hours straight sitting in front of your computer and you don't take your anti-depressants for two months, things probably will happen.
Umm, yeah, you might write a play.
What none of us has said is what all of us are thinking: who is TOUAMB's "most likely to be secretly psycho?"
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What none of us has said is what all of us are thinking: who is TOUAMB's "most likely to be secretly psycho?"
Who is TOUAMB's "most likely to be a normal, fucntional member of society who is not at all a geek/nerd?"
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See the tricky part of that question is the 'secretly', if you force us to choose from the people on here who aren't obviously psycho you don't have that many people left.
It might just be because she suggested it but I'm thinking side_show as the person who occasionally just snaps, kills someone and then hides the body in her basement and continues her life as if nothing ever happened. All just barely managing to hold it together and believe she has a normal life so long as noe one ever, ever goes into the basement.
Cort: That's a trick question right?
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Who is TOUAMB's "most likely to be a normal, fucntional member of society who is not at all a geek/nerd?"
This one's a lot easier:
I'd vote for AlohaDawg
(Yeah, he is a bit of cheerleader for Christ, but as I understand it, most of you Americans are Jesus nerds, right? I think he's leading the least shame-based life of all of us anyway.)
As for scary board psycho.. I'm thinking of St. Zartan. Yeah. I said it. Unh huh. Most missed, and most likely to murder. It's a double honour. After all, he did once tell me he work in the dungeon like basement of a library. (I'm sorry Mr. Q - you're just too obvious a choice)
edit: Doc, I don't know why, but I was just inspired to give you a tiny can... maybe to remind you to keep your fuck*ng mouth shut if you know what's good for you :).
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What none of us has said is what all of us are thinking: who is TOUAMB's "most likely to be secretly psycho?"
It's a tie between every single person with no avatar.
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This one's a lot easier:
I'd vote for AlohaDawg
(Yeah, he is a bit of cheerleader for Christ, but as I understand it, most of you Americans are Jesus nerds, right? I think he's leading the least shame-based life of all of us anyway.)
As for scary board psycho.. I'm thinking of St. Zartan. Yeah. I said it. Unh huh. Most missed, and most likely to murder. It's a double honour. After all, he did once tell me he work in the dungeon like basement of a library. (I'm sorry Mr. Q - you're just too obvious a choice)
Oddly enough, my votes were exactly the opposite.
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A lot of people are scrambling to make it clear that the KoL playerbase doesn't approve of cannibalism
I'm envisioning the most pathetic of webcast press conferences.
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oh my goodness.
i did not realize until this moment that I was living a shame-based lifestyle.
also: A videogame where stick figures fight each other.
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Oddly enough, my votes were exactly the opposite.
Thank you AW.. I am (Honoured?) to have your... support?
This is confusing.
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I wouldn't be surprised at all if I read in the paper that Hobot's head was found on a stick in MisterQueue's living room or something. "He cut a new oriface in the body when the other natural orifi were too gummed up..."
Nah, I'm just kidding. Q is one of those "funny ha ha" pretend sickos. He's too entertaining and not quiet enough to be dangerous.
For someone to be a sick killer their neighbours have to describe them as "a nice quiet young man who never gave anyone any trouble."
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I wouldn't be surprised at all if I read in the paper that Hobot's head was found on a stick in MisterQueue's living room or something. "He cut a new oriface in the body when the other natural orifi were too gummed up..."
Nah, I'm just kidding. Q is one of those "funny ha ha" pretend sickos. He's too entertaining and not quiet enough to be dangerous.
I've always wanted my head impaled upon a pike.
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jough:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
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I've always wanted my head impaled upon a pike.
I have a head you can be impaled on.*
* I NEVER fuck*ng SAID THIS!
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Queue, Queue, you've crossed the line from delightful innuendo to just abject crassness.
I've never been more proud.
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oh queue...
that is so adorable.
but, now I must defend miss Hobot's honour!
I challenge you to a duel or competition of some kind!
*slaps with the weak hand of a child*
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Mud wrestling! It's the only way!
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oh queue...
that is so adorable.
but, now I must defend miss Hobot's honour!
I challenge you to a duel or competition of some kind!
*slaps with the weak hand of a child*
*sneers* Do not tempt me little one, I will take you to school in the car of pain! Never forget who is the master still!
[Scene 30 years in the future where theinevitable turns on me and takes the reigns of my evil empire. My last words "...proud of you boy"]
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It has been my lifelong dream to have two men fight to the death, on the Internet, to win my heart.
Carry on!
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I guess you could call theinevitable a man if you really wanted to... I guess.
That's when the crowd goes.. OOooOoOOo...
Man.. theinevitable is so innocent I feel like I just kicked a puppy.
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I guess you could call theinevitable a man if you really wanted to... I guess.
That's when the crowd goes.. OOooOoOOo...
Man.. theinevitable is so innocent I feel like I just kicked a puppy.
Puppy-kickers don't win hearts.
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*sneers* Do not tempt me little one, I will take you to school in the car of pain! Never forget who is the master still!
[Scene 30 years in the future where theinevitable turns on me and takes the reigns of my evil empire. My last words "...proud of you boy"]
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
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Puppy-kickers don't win hearts.
THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING ME KICK PUPPIES?!
*Slowly puts down the Beagle*
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I'm not innocent! (this is the part where I list things about why I'm not innocent, but they're funny)
One time, I yelled at a kid!
one time, I almost kissed a girl, but she didn't want to!
one time, I... I had sex with a lady! yeah, she was a... a... a prostitute! I said "oh yes you are such a prostitute. This is such a nice feeling" and she made me pay her! because she was a prostitute!
also: in 30 years, I will be 1 month short of 48. I don't think either of us will put up much of a fight at that point.
*kicks misterqueue in shin, and throws a handful of small pebbles at him. not at his eyes, though. that is so rude.*
finally: OH my god! That is my puppy which I got for Hobot! how dare you kick it. we are having a falling-out sequence, right now.
[cut to: theinevitable tearfully packing his bags. cut to: tI with bindle, walking down lonesome dusty road away from MQ's fortress of evil]
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Meanwhile, Hobot and her lady or man laughs whilst you clowns battle it out for interent affection. It is easy to be depressed when you consider that everyone you love will either reject you or die.
Oh, and here's some rope. It was just sitting there in my garage and I have no use for it.
Have fun!
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It has been my lifelong dream to have two men fight to the death, on the Internet, to win my heart.
Welll if we're going to make fun of whether poor little theinevitable is a man, it's only fair to remark that my lifelong dreams are old enough to be Hobot's lifelong dreams' mother, or something.
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This one's a lot easier:
I'd vote for AlohaDawg
(Yeah, he is a bit of cheerleader for Christ, but as I understand it, most of you Americans are Jesus nerds, right? I think he's leading the least shame-based life of all of us anyway.)
As for scary board psycho.. I'm thinking of St. Zartan. Yeah. I said it. Unh huh. Most missed, and most likely to murder. It's a double honour. After all, he did once tell me he work in the dungeon like basement of a library. (I'm sorry Mr. Q - you're just too obvious a choice)
edit: Doc, I don't know why, but I was just inspired to give you a tiny can... maybe to remind you to keep your fuck*ng mouth shut if you know what's good for you :).
Um, Thanks?
Oddly enough, my votes were exactly the opposite.
Um, Thanks?
I guess that disqualifies me for both since I average out dead center.
This line of thought may require a new thread and a poll.
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jough:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
Take your can, man. Take your can.
(Oh, Jesus, must resist urge to listen to album, because I will stop on "Casimir Pulaski Day" and listen to it like twenty times on repeat and start crying at around Listen 7. Does that make me a psycho?)
Anyway: one of the things I have always loved best about the board is that there is almost nobody I can't picture as a decent, functional human being. Some of them post extensive picture collections of their being decent and functional, which helps. I think the only people I've ever had serious doubts about were... Kai, SUGAH RAIN, and FancieBaby, and I think we know how those dudes went.
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v-adore
I think we have been over this before. That song is so amazing. The only thing that would make you not-normal would be if you didn't listen to it 7 times in a row.
oh my god, I just got an idea for my mix disc.
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I'm not innocent! (this is the part where I list things about why I'm not innocent, but they're funny)
One time, I yelled at a kid!
one time, I almost kissed a girl, but she didn't want to!
one time, I... I had sex with a lady! yeah, she was a... a... a prostitute! I said "oh yes you are such a prostitute. This is such a nice feeling" and she made me pay her! because she was a prostitute!
also: in 30 years, I will be 1 month short of 48. I don't think either of us will put up much of a fight at that point.
*kicks misterqueue in shin, and throws a handful of small pebbles at him. not at his eyes, though. that is so rude.*
finally: OH my god! That is my puppy which I got for Hobot! how dare you kick it. we are having a falling-out sequence, right now.
[cut to: theinevitable tearfully packing his bags. cut to: tI with bindle, walking down lonesome dusty road away from MQ's fortress of evil]
I made the mistake of reading this thread during data entry in my Psych class. This made me laugh quite a lot. Afterward, I posted the link to the salad-cat picture on the Choose the Best Vegetable thread. I'm pretty sure my Psych partner thinks I'm mentally unbalanced now.
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That's TOUAMB for ya, always makin' folks look weird.
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every day in newspaper class, I get "what are you looking at? comics?"
also: I may have mentioned this before, but in an awkward circumstance, someone asked me what my favorite website was. I said achewood. this man then went on to ask my a long series of questions (comic, like a cartoon? who are the main characters? is it funny or serious? give me an example of a storyline. do any of your friends read this?) in front of a large group of my peers.
all I know is, there was an article with my picture in a local magazine (about something they had my newspaper class help them with. we were like a focus group for how fickle teenagers would respond to their product), and there was no mention of achewood. I am glad for this, but also sad that no snobby rich ladies who read the magazine will check out achewood (?!)
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Snobby rich ladies wouldn't like it anyway.
Also, your peers will be dicks, but this won't last past high school. Actually, scratch that. There will always be crap dudes, but at least they'll mostly leave you the fuck alone at work or on the street or something.
Also, you may want to carry a shiv. And use it.
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Yeah.. a shiv... OR MARTHA!
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Pretty much in every Pathology/Clinical Lab Data class I would bring my laptop, be reading through old strips, and then fall asleep. I wonder if any strips were read by voyeurs. I hope they were good strips. (The class is packed pretty tight).
What the fuck does newspaper class do??
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What the fuck does newspaper class do??
I have no idea, but I hope the final class project involves creating a newspaper-based paper mache donkey piņata full of candies. Then a big party with nachos that reaches a crescendo that involves smacking it open - like breaking a mighty Hoover damn of mini boxes of Smarties, Cherry Blasters and Peanut Butter cups. If so, I am so there.
...Sorry, I have these day dreams...
I assume the class is like a current events class, right?
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I have no idea, but I hope the final class project involves creating a newspaper-based paper mache donkey piņata full of candies. Then a big party with nachos that reaches a crescendo that involves smacking it open - like breaking a mighty Hoover damn of mini boxes of Smarties, Cherry Blasters and Peanut Butter cups. If so, I am so there.
...Sorry, I have these day dreams...
I assume the class is like a current events class, right?
At my school Newspaper, Yearbook, and Lit Mag were each 0 credit "classes" where we worked on those publications every day. Plus we got to go to that big HS publications conference at Columbia and we had passes that let us leave school after 6th period. Damn, Unbound rocked.
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I hope the final class project involves creating a newspaper-based paper mache donkey piņata full of candies. Then a big party with nachos that reaches a crescendo that involves smacking it open - like breaking a mighty Hoover damn of mini boxes of Smarties, Cherry Blasters and Peanut Butter cups. If so, I am so there.
My piņata theory.
I think that the piņata is pretty wonderful in theory, but it's time has past. I may be wrong, but I think it's intended for older children. It's a Mexican birthday tradition so you see them at every Mexican childs birthday party, but by the age of about 10 a child has got zero interest in a pinata so it's only the little kids that play. Which leaves you with a bunch of enthusiastic young 'uns who are too small to bust open the pinata which totally transforms the game. As I understand it, the tradition is that the piņata is hung from a tree, the child is blindfolded and placed beneath and the piņata with a stick. The piņata is swung around to provide a moving target. The child flails around with his stick until he makes contact and burst the pinata. The way the game is played today, the blindfold is lost, and the piņata is stationary. The children take turns whacking at the piņata until it finally cracks open and the candy falls out. The kids are so small they just don't have the strength to break the piņata. I'm guessing that when the piņata first came about it was fascinating to a 10-12 year old child, but in a world of television and video games a kid that age cares fuck all about a silly piņata. So it's left to the very young. Maybe they make piņatas stronger than they used to? All I know for sure is that it's fuck*ng painful to watch. I want to grab that stick and bust the damn thing open myself. Break it open already you weak ass little punk. I can't stand a piņata.
~Paul
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What kind of people don't use a blindfold? WTF? After that they have Musical Chairs with extra open spaces then play Cranium so everybody can feel like a winner.
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They don't use the blindfold when the children are 6 and they can hardly hold the pole much less swing it and even when they make contact with the piņata they can't break it. Weren't you paying attention?
~Paul
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That's why they have non-violent pinatas now! Instead of a big ol' mean bat, children each get a string or ribbon to pull to release the good stuff. But of course you don't just have loose candy inside, because then the kids will rush to get all of it, and some children will get their feelings hurt because they'll get less than others. So you pack the pinata full of small bags, one for each child, filled with healthy snacks and small, nonviolent toys.
And all the commies'll need to take us over will be large, pointed sticks.
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That's why they have non-violent pinatas now! Instead of a big ol' mean bat.
Mostly Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Square#####, Barbie and (insert popular children's movie character of the moment). The classic Donkey and Bat are passe. In a related story, the Grim Reaper has lost his place at the top of the tattoo world usurped by the likes of the Tasmanian Devil. Sad times...
~Paul
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At my last birthday (http://raindog.net/photos/v/05-07-23+-+Joe+and+Shawns+Birthday+Party/?g2_page=2) there was a Piņata.
We were blindfolded, and it would move up and down. Take that, young'uns!
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I was going to lecture a few weeks ago, and I got to class and realized that the projector had been stolen. Not only that, but hanging from the projector bracket, secured by the cut chain (which used to secure the projector) was a donkey-shaped pinata.
There was a sombrero in the corner.
I want to read the police report about the theft.
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At my last birthday (http://raindog.net/photos/v/05-07-23+-+Joe+and+Shawns+Birthday+Party/?g2_page=2) there was a Piņata.
We were blindfolded, and it would move up and down. Take that, young'uns!
Huzzah!!! Takin' back the streets.
Are you the fella in the wife beater, er... piņata beater that busted that bitch's leg off?
~Paul
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Nah, I'm the guy with the ponytail. (http://raindog.net/photos/v/05-07-23+-+Joe+and+Shawns+Birthday+Party/DSCN0528.JPG.html)
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Okay, I'll admit it:
I was a kid with a non-violent piņata. This was because I didn't like destroying things, and I wanted to both use the piņata and have it after it was done.
It was a nice piņata, though -- so nice, my parents let it hang in our rec room for years. It was a parrot. I loved that fuck*ng thing.
Revelation over. You can beat me with sticks now for being a wuss if you'd like.
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I was a kid with a non-violent piņata.
Oh no, I thought Mite was making that up.
~Paul
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As a veteran of small-child birthday parties which have featured both the ribbon-pull and stick pinatas, I can tell you that the pinatas bought in party stores bear no resemblance to a real papier-mache pinata.
A paper-mache pinata has a certain brittleness to it that makes it breakable. The storebought ones are made of paperboard. They are nearly indestructible using a stick, especially one wielded by anoyne younger than 15. In most cases, before we hang the pinata we cut it a bunch of times with a boxcutter. This makes it possible for a kid to make candy come out of it. If you aren't gonna doctor up the pinata you better give the kids zoot sticks to swing at the fackin' thing.
As for the blindfold - we don't use it because a kid swinging a four foot stick blindfolded will cripple, kill or blind another kid diving for candy. We spin them around a little to make them dizzy and then send them at the pinata.
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so, yes. newspaper class is basically "how to write an article, and then have the hell censored out of it"
we publish the school newspaper. it is so bad.
they censored the word "censorship" from an editorial about the school censoring our internet access. that is probably my favorite story.
in the interview portion,they not only changed their quotes-- they also changed the questions asked.
finally: a math classroom in my school has a diesel sweeties strip on the door. so, either a kid in 8th grade reads diesel sweeties, or the teacher does. hmm.
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finally: a math classroom in my school has a diesel sweeties strip on the door. so, either a kid in 8th grade reads diesel sweeties, or the teacher does. hmm.
You find it unlikely that a teacher reads webcomics, Mr. Inevitable?
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we publish the school newspaper. it is so bad.
My senior year of high school, some friends and I did an underground school paper, because the official school paper was so sucky. In hindsight, most of what we wrote was colossally stupid, since we were high schoolers and all. But at the time it was hell of such as fun.
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so, yes. newspaper class is basically "how to write an article, and then have the hell censored out of it"
we publish the school newspaper. it is so bad.
they censored the word "censorship" from an editorial about the school censoring our internet access. that is probably my favorite story.
in the interview portion,they not only changed their quotes-- they also changed the questions asked.
My paper did a story like that where everything except the principal's name was blacked out. This was after they started editing the drama depts plays. For this one-act we did they made us remove the line "How the hell does that make sense?" but let us replace it with "that makes as much sense as women drivers!" Another of their edits made saying "What the purgatory?!" popular for about 3 months.
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man.
the thing is, they censor us about really stupid things. it's completely arbitrary. I would understand if they were consistent... but they aren't.
oh well. me and certain of my friends have talked about doing some kind of alternative paper thing. I don't know.
wombat-- I suppose a teacher could read webcomics. I just found both ideas kind of strange.
of course, I did put an Achewood on my Precalculus teacher's desk once. (why learn geometry?)
I was hoping he'd put it up or something, but he did not. oh well.
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Yeah, I think many of us have done at least some teaching at some point, dude. Teaching and reading web comics are not mutually exclusive. Actually, you'd probably be surprised how your teachers spend their non-teaching time.
True story: I ran into my AP Physics teacher in a strip club a few years ago.
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Poor li'l theinevitable keeps outing himself as very young even when one tries to give him a subtle hint to retreat from his position.
Whaddaya think, Jough, should we let him know that teachers are even allowed to, like, have sex in their non-teaching time?
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should we let him know that teachers are even allowed to, like, have sex in their non-teaching time?
**GASP**
~Paul
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Poor li'l theinevitable keeps outing himself as very young even when one tries to give him a subtle hint to retreat from his position.
Whaddaya think, Jough, should we let him know that teachers are even allowed to, like, have sex in their non-teaching time?
But surely, it is for procreation purposes only.
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Poor li'l theinevitable keeps outing himself as very young even when one tries to give him a subtle hint to retreat from his position.
Whaddaya think, Jough, should we let him know that teachers are even allowed to, like, have sex in their non-teaching time?
Well, there is a provision that the partner be of majority. There's been a few lady teachers having a small problem with that lately. (http://www.tabloidcolumn.com/debbie-lafave.html)
Where the FUCK were these women when I was in High School? That's all I want to know.
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But surely, it is for procreation purposes only.
Of course, where else would we get teachers? They must be born into it, otherwise there wouldn't be any. Procreating is a teacher's duty to the state.
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goodness. I wasn't being down on teachers. or imagining that they don't have sex (most awkward thing ever: seeing my sex ed teacher's husband. he walked in, and we all kind of looked at him and thought "wow. so this is him. her conception of sex, considering how long they've been married, is 90% related to having sex with this guy.")
I dont' know. I just thought about my 8th grade math teacher, who was not a fun lady.
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Yeah, I think many of us have done at least some teaching at some point, dude. Teaching and reading web comics are not mutually exclusive. Actually, you'd probably be surprised how your teachers spend their non-teaching time.
True story: I ran into my AP Physics teacher in a strip club a few years ago.
STORY TIME:
Okay, so I'm not a big fan of strip joints because they bore the shit out of me. The allure I once had of watching some guy named Earl stare longingly at "his prize" and repeatedly ask the bouncer if she got the flowers he sent her lost something long ago. However, if pestered enough I do accompany friends on their excursions.
Anyway, one night I was at said club when I noticed a girl I recognized from High School. This was not necessarily creepy in and of itself but then she came up and started chatting it with me like it was old times. This was still not really creepy. Then she offered me a lapdance. Still not all that creepy. The creepy part is that she did this after I saw her not two weeks prior out and about when she was about 8 months pregnant or so (estimated of course).
I did not stick around to find out if the baby had been born Cesarean or not.
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I dont' know. I just thought about my 8th grade math teacher, who was not a fun lady.
Ah, but that's the thing. How do you know?
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hm.
I dont' know. I just have a negative assumption, because she left the school after her son was expelled.
for beating another boy with a bat.
because he wasn't giving him the money he owed.
for drugs.
she thought this was unfair, and quit.
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For the record, I am not a fan of strip clubs either. That whole "no touching" thing is just frustrating. I mean, what's the point?
I was actually only there that time because of a friend's bachelor's party.
ALSO: I have never been with a prostitute because I fear their disease. Of course, I worry about this with nice girls who don't fuck for money too.
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ALSO: I have never been with a prostitute because I fear their disease. Of course, I worry about this with nice girls who don't fuck for money too.
I fear rickets.. and lupus... oh and scurvy. I have no idea why I fear things that are much less likely to happen than say cancer. This is basically a problem.
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I fear blood clots in my legs suddenly escaping to another part of my body and killing me. I also don't worry as much about cancer as about rarer things, except that I do I worry about getting cancer after not worrying about cancer and therefore dying in an annoyingly ironic way.
And why wasn't my high school as exciting as theinevitable's? We did have a teacher marry a former student, which seems rather scandalous, but it was after I was gone.
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I fear blood clots in my legs suddenly escaping to another part of my body and killing me.
This happened to my mother last June, only they caught it in time and were able to put a seive in her vein to keep it from getting to her heart. She's OK now.
She went to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida (they have a branch there, who knew?) in January and had a bunch of tests. One of the things they told her is that she's genetically predisposed to throw clots.
So I've got that goin' for me. Along with the virtual certainty that I'll start developing lil' skin cancers all over my face and neck in 10 years or so. Thanks Dad!
Fuckin' DNA.
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which part is exciting? the baseball bat thing?
I guess. This was when I was in 8th grade. I wasn't really that aware of the whole thing.
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I'm genetically predisposed to ridiculous cholesterol ratings, so my fears in this regard are obvious. I'm also scared shitless of neurological disease; my grandmother was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, and while it was removed without incident, I spent two or three days wandering around terrified. (And snappish: "oh god don't give me shit about this MY GRANDMA HAS A BRAIN TUMOR, YOU FUCKS")
I'm also pretty much predisposed to be a teacher, too. My mom and most of my aunts and uncles teach, and my dad moved from university housing administration to high-school teaching. I suspect it's my dharma.
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My Dad developed a clot on a plane trip to Vegas, and will be taking coumadin for the rest of his life. His father did as well. But I don't fear this as much as cancer or diabetes.
DIABETES!
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Well, the fact that they can put a little screen door in your dang aorta does provide some sense of relief.
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man
don't fear the aorta-blood-clot
yesterday it was established that there are girls who are into this.
right as you 'max, you stand up, causing a blood clot to rush to your heart and kill you.
is so hot.
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This happened to my mother last June, only they caught it in time
So how do I make sure they catch it in time? See I have cramps in my legs all the time. But that is likely because I spend six hours a day walking and standing in boots that don't fit all that great. So, see, how I am going to tell the other pains apart? Oh god.
And why is the shot in the stomach?
But hey, how about those cannibals? And rickets!
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Maybe you should get better fitting boots?
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Oh you say that like it is simple. Have you ever looked at a wombat's feet?