The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Drygioni on August 03, 2006, 10:13:11 am
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I think it says a lot for poor Onstad when readers email in and complain there is not enough cat c*ck in his comic.
And this quote from Nice Pete adds nicely to the "are Pat/Nice Pete gay?" debate.
He is clean and handsome, and probably mostly hairless. Men like this interest me. Of course this is not to say that the hair on the top of his head was not quite good. It looked quite fine and full, but soft and easily changed.
Phillipe is doing the right thing. The Incredibles is fuck*ng awesome.
I apologise for the pretty poor critical work in that post.
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ROCK-HARD CAT COCK.
That is all.
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oh man, you did it like it was a link. you tricked me. even though I looked at it and thought "wow, must like what Onstad said!"
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Why the lack of boobs, that's what I want to know.
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Why the lack of boobs, that's what I want to know.
Well obviously 'Stad hates boobs. Hates 'em to hell!
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Yeah, he kind of pussed-out with the whole wang thing. I'd imagine he wouldn't have put it back up if it wasn't his original instinct to include it anyway. Maybe he thought it was too much, but then after removing it and getting positive feedback to re-add it, was happy to oblige.
Anyway, if he thought it was better without the cat cock then he should have left it out. If he thought it was better with it he should just own up to that. But he's always blamed his readers for anything going wrong with his work.
If he daughter ever gets a cold, I would imagine a forthcoming blog post about how it was our negative reaction to one of his shittier strips that caused it.
REMEMBER VARIETY HOUR
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I think there is cock but no boobs because he doesn't personally have boobs. It's like how you can make fun of your own ethnic group but not of one you don't belong to.
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Ok, now lets all e-mail and demand some spewing seed.
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In the Cock vs. Breasts thing:
There's one reason cocks are put in the strip, and not breasts.
Hilarity factor.
I mean, come on. Cocks are completely ridiculous. They are ridiculous little things (I just know I'm going to get a "MINE ISN'T LITTLE" post). If they did not serve the useful purpose of continuing the species, no doubt evolution/God(s)/castration would have removed them, or never put them there in the first place. Why do you think the statue of David has a small wang? Because WANGS LOOK RIDICULOUS, and the epitome of male beauty should not look ridiculous.
So, therefore, a dick is funny to put on a cat in a comedic strip, though it's basically the Achewood equivalent of toilet humour. Still inexplicably funny, in a way.
Breasts, see, they ain't so ridiculous. Also, it's pretty disturbing putting them prominently in a mostly animal based strip. That is straying dangerously into furry-ism.
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but, a small wang looks rediculous!
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but, a small wang looks rediculous!
But it doesn't intrude on the beauty of the man as much as a ridiculously oversized one does! Either that or Michaelangelo was just trying to make himself feel better.
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No I don't!
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You totally blog! You can't deny it!
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Gotta agree with Judy here. A wise person once said, "A naked woman is soft and curvy and beautiful; a naked man is just a guy who really needs to put on some #####." Unfortunately I can't remember the source, but it's truth.
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Onstad doesn't show tits because cats have more than two and that would just be really odd.
Or would he give Molly just a set of normal humanoid titties and abandon authenticity altogether?
Again, we ask a hypothetical that pushes Onstad closer to suicide.
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Or would he give Molly just a set of normal humanoid titties and abandon authenticity altogether?
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142002 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142002)
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012004 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012004)
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004)
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09022004 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09022004)
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07262005 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07262005)
Why I took time out of my life to find cartoon cat titties is beyond me.
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Do we have a Sick Fuck award? Because I think mrdna is in the running to receive the second one.
I mean this in the nicest possible way of course.
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Do we have a Sick Fuck award? Because I think mrdna is in the running to receive the second one.
I mean this in the nicest possible way of course.
It is quite possible he merely did this for research purposes. Cortjstr style. Now, if he had all those strips bookmarked I'd begin to worry.
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Do we have a Sick Fuck award? Because I think mrdna is in the running to receive the second one.
I mean this in the nicest possible way of course.
I'm familiar enough with the archives to where I can find strips with little effort beyond hitting Ctrl+F once or twice ... likewise, I'm on summer break and have an unbelievable amount of free time in which to do silly things like that.
Hell, I went all stalker-style here (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,2930.msg69402.html#msg69402) a while back. If you're going to accuse me of being creepy, I think that's a better example.
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Yeah womby.. I mean if a dude is going to step on my territory, he's got to come correct.
The name similarity is pushing it a bit though Mr. SWF!
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this is like an awkward time at school.
"so, (teacher's name), what's going on when... is anne frank a lesbian? she wants to touch her friend's boob?"
"well, Jeremy, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
me: "oh, it's on page 52!"
*awkward*
EARLIER THAT DAY:
"hey, daniel, did you see that thing on page 52? Anne Frank wants to get it on with her friend!"
"wow, really? I guess I'll remember to look that up later."
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No I don't!
I beg to differ. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/Septiheptihan.html)
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I am unnerved by Ray's modem analogy. While it does make sense, it seems rather unlike Ray who, according to the recent subscriber stuff, didn't adapt to even the Internet until late because he thought it was for kids. Unless Roast Beef gave him some sort of analogy to use?
I dunno man... just out of character it seems. Other than that, amusing visual poetry there.
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Thanks, Google! (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Pfiggin&btnG=Google+Search)
Yes, huffers are a sad lot. I guess the appeal of their substance of choice is that it is readily available and not technically illegal. But man, that shit will wreak havoc on your brain, as Onstad rightly points out.
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Really liked Onstad's blog. Probably I am partial to it because I also play with old wooden clubs from the 70's my dad bought, am horrible, and am annoyingly against modern clubs.
However, for some reason this blog seems to go deeper with me. I am no Luddite, but modern technology and media seems to really bug me. I enjoy technology alot, it is just the way it us used by some. It isn't about golf, it is about my generation being *****s, but that is probably the drugs talking. Seriously though, fuck junior salesmen.
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The pub story is a good example of a side-event set in the blog. While it's only occassionally updated, it's alright because we can make up the rest of the story ourselves. That's why readers are good for Onstad; we help fill in the blanks. For free.
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Heh.. "My goodness. I don't suppose I have that sort of ear, no."
Given Mr. Bear's fear for his trumpet due to Lyle stating he could play one "with his cock", I can only imagine what he thought of to go along with Ray's "jizz ear" statement.
Also Ray seems more offended that the dog is fat rather than the fact that it is trespassing. All licking the remnants off of his grill utensils. Tsk.
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Jizz ear? Clearly the niche porn industry has gone too far. That's just not sexy at all.
Given what golf costs to play I cannot wrap my mind around its continued popularity. Hell, just the fact that you have to make an appointment 2 weeks out just to participate in the game at all boggles my mind. Not to mention that 6:30am is a popular time to start. People there are only two acceptable activities at 6:30am: sleeping and winding down from a really great party.
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People there are only two three acceptable activities at 6:30am: sleeping and winding down from a really great party.
Fixed that for you.
(You can guess the third, maybe.)
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Fixed that for you.
(You can guess the third, maybe.)
Well that one goes without saying.
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Well that one goes without saying.
I didn't know you were into needlepoint too!? We should totally get together and have some sort of party where we make those "Home Sweet Home" decorations based upon various themes. It's going to be so sweet.
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I never pictured Onstad as a golfer. Huh. Should have guessed from the Nightlife Mingus strips that he had some background.
My problem with golf is not the financial cost, it's the time cost. Around here there are plenty of municipal courses that you can play cheap (under $10), and you can usually get on with no problem. It's just the time investment. Ends up taking 6 hours, which might as well be a whole day. Also, if you want to be halfway decent you have to play regularly, at least weekly or so. So I gave it up. Still like to whack a ball now and again, but I don't call myself a golfer.
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I am refraining from saying anything about Golf re: cost, growing up on a golf course, owning expensive clubs, or anything else.
although, like mr onstad, my love of classically-styled things leads to problems. for instance: did you know it is almost impossible to find cheap things which are not Plastic and trying to look Hip? I do not want a neon orange plastic trash bin. I want a basic white one, such as you would see anywhere that wasn't a college dorm room. I spent like 5 minutes trying to find yellow 'post-it' brand notes. they only had wierd colors.
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Onstad's blog makes me wish he would write a book. Because if it were written half as wonderfully as this, I would read it, with joy.
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I actually had the same thought, reading it. It would be quite fun to read a whole lot of that style.
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I was reading some Carlin book, and read his ideas of ending homelessness (?). It went something like this:
Take away all of the golf courses and build public housing there, as golf takes up huge amounts of space. Also, golf is a sport designed so that rich people can make deals to fuck over poor people, so boom, two birds with one stone.
Seems like a pretty good idea. Should leave putt-putt and cheap driving ranges though.
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Of course we now have pat going for the coconut rum (http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2006/08/achewood-list-august-16-2006.html).
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Nice Pete worries about toads. It explains a lot.
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Afte reading Molly's entry today it occurred to me how weird it is that liquor stores don't sell lottery tickets. The store is owned and run by the state as is the lottery. Why not pair them up? Maybe they don't want to take business away from 7-11?
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"oh how he used to do that."
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Afte reading Molly's entry today it occurred to me how weird it is that liquor stores don't sell lottery tickets.
They don't? This must be a local thing. They do in DC, at least the one near us does.
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They don't? This must be a local thing. They do in DC, at least the one near us does.
That was a typo. I meant to say "how weird it is that liquor stores in Virginia don't sell lottery tickets." Since in many (most?) states they do.
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Nice Pete's blog exemplifies one of the reasons I don't plan on going camping again. Basically the story goes like this:
Two years ago, I took a leisurely car trip from San Diego to Seattle over two weeks or so, driving on two-lane roads when possible and stopping wherever looked interesting. In Oregon I passed a beach with a bunch of tents on it and thought that would be a pretty cool thing to do: camp on a beach. I didn't have a tent, though, so I got another hotel instead. The next morning on the news it said someone on that very beach had been killed in their tent that night.
So, no more camping. Sorry, nature!
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That was a typo. I meant to say "how weird it is that liquor stores in Virginia don't sell lottery tickets." Since in many (most?) states they do.
Well, the liquor stores in Virginia are all state-run. And perhaps they don't want to condone gambling.
Since the lottery is, you know, state-run as well. Never mind, that makes no goddamn sense.
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I don't think the ABC stores here sell lottery tickets. I'm not sure, though. We didn't have a lottery until a few months ago.
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Well, the liquor stores in Virginia are all state-run. And perhaps they don't want to condone gambling.
Since the lottery is, you know, state-run as well. Never mind, that makes no goddamn sense.
They also won't sell cigarettes so maybe that really is it. They either don't want it to be a one-stop vice shop run by the state or they really do want that because it would be profitable but are afraid of public backlash. Hell, they just started opening the ABC stores on Sundays last year.
The fact that stores here can't sell those disposable vibrating cock rings from Trojan make me think it's the former though. Stupid uptight state making me go to different stores for booze, lottery tickets, and porn. Like I have that kind of time. I'm a busy man! I have whiskey to drink, tickets to scratch, and porn to ... peruse.
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Of course we now have pat going for the coconut rum (http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2006/08/achewood-list-august-16-2006.html).
I once had an unintentionally Achewoodian drinking night at a friend's place ... first he produced a bottle of coconut rum (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12102002) (extra irony points since he's gay) and some vodka (sadly though, not Ketel One), then he found some Gusano Rojo (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042004) (which wasn't as bad as I was hoping), but I finally settled on some Guinness (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10032002) that was in his fridge left over from a party.
(I (((like) parenthes(es)), apparently.))
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I feel like I'm reading some Scheme code, there.
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Beef needs to hook up with this guy (http://xkcd.com/c140.html) and they can just eat themselves into nacho-comas.
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http://raysmuckles.blogspot.com/2006/08/my-friend-made-sex-magazine-read-it.html (http://raysmuckles.blogspot.com/2006/08/my-friend-made-sex-magazine-read-it.html)
I never get tired of the Ray / Beef dynamic. I love this:
"Dude keeps it real, and doesn't risk much money. Dude plays it tight. That's my boy. My boy is Roast Beef, and he has so much sense he can barely get outta bed each day."
I get bad depressive spells myself; I'm going to start using this as my motto. "World, you are lucky I even got out of bed today, I got so much sense."
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Whenever someone from New York visits me in California, they are amazed that you can buy vodka in Rite-Aid.
I've been living here for three years. I am still amazed.
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I am always fascinated by the real gone ones, the souls who looked in the gutter and said, "let's do this."
I love this sentance very much.
~Paul
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Paul, we ain't seeing much of you these days, it seems. What gives? Everything going swimmingly?
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'Stad was channeling Dan Jenkins when he wrote that.
I would have said Wodehouse, but whatever...
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I am so uninterested in this golf business that it makes me want to weep that Onstad spent so much time writing such a long entry about it. Think of all the entertainment I could have had instead. *sniff*
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I am so uninterested in this golf business that it makes me want to weep that Onstad spent so much time writing such a long entry about it. Think of all the entertainment I could have had instead. *sniff*
Gotta agree with you, Womby. I have hated golf every minute of life, except for the three minutes after I had hit a sweeeeet shot down the fairway. I'd have been happier longer, but I hit a sand trap and fell out of love with the game from that point onwards, quicker than you can say "this game is a load of bollocks".
It doesn't help that golf is the most boring thing on Earth to watch. Some vague activity on the screen, a droning voice I never pick up on, the occassional *thwack* and the most inanely polite clapping in the world.
From what I can deduce, golf is only fun when you are playing it and doing well; something that requires free time and patience and money. Maybe I will give golf a try, when I'm 64.
Minigolf is a bit more tolerable. In France there was this madly inventive one involving fountains, rivers, chippers, and loop-de-loops. But as any hardened pro will tell you, it's not really golf.
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The golf obsession thing is... interesting as a facet of the guy's work, anyway, even if... the actual idea and execution of golf blogging is pretty much the most boring thing ever incorporated into the larger Acheworld.
I mean, I'm only speaking for myself here, but my father instilled in me from a very young age that golf-without-windmills was an art solely perpetrated by upper-middle-class douches trying to pretend that they're actually full-on rich douches... and it's something I've never quite been able to shake.
But that's what's interesting about Chris writing about it, it's an interest that is pretty much strictly anethetical to all of his other interests and yet... there is it, probably because it was drilled into his head in his early youth by his dad. And because it is so engrained from so early, it exists with other portions of his personality that... really... it should not co-exist with.
Writing a comic strip about cats and *****s that get stoned and... playing golf... should not be parts of the same person.
And yet, there is it. This is the only level the golf stuff is interesting on, of course, but there's something to it.
Sort of like when you go to your hometown and run into people you were friends with in... elementary school or high school that... now, you kind of have nothing to say to because your interests are so different and yet you're still friends, so all you talk about is the past and such forth.
In your youth, you could be friends with someone because you lived on the same street or had the same homeroom or your parents were friends and... it could still make sense, even though your interests had zero overlap. Now, ten years later or whatever, of socially selecting people with similar interests through your college and your career or whatever...
And the whole thing smacks of incongruity and, yet, there it is.
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hm. And here I was, thinking that golf was a vaguely elegant game.
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littlefalls, those are very thoughtful and intelligent observations, and I really tried, but they still didn't make me feel better. I am still going to cry if he ever again writes such a long entry on golf.
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It's especially telling how the worlds greatest golfer is an upper-middle class preppy douche from a long line of East-coast establishment, upper-middle class preppy douches. Right?
Try to separate the cultural associations about the game from the actual game. Otherwise you seem awfully closed minded and prejudiced. There are millions of working class people people who play golf. There are also lots of folks who play the game because they enjoy the challenge it provides, or because they enjoy the opportunity to be outside for a few hours, or because the enjoy spending time with their friends.
In that golf is an individual sport which requires one to hone a specific set of muscle movements, it could be said to be most comprable to bowling or pool; both of which have entirely different cultural associations.
As to golfing being incongruous with Onstad's personality, it don't see it. Based upon what we know of him, (foodie, Stanford grad, literateur, et al) one thing seems fairly plain about the man. He's an upper-middle class douche.
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I want him to write about the talking cats!
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What I liked about this blog entry is that it captures well the utter paranoia that can be associated with acrophobia sometimes. As someone who once needed to be talked down from six feet above the ground (I was on a giant chair; it's a long story why), I can identify with the "doing ludicrous things in fear that you might fall to your death" motif.
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I am not a fan of golf, but I found this particular blog update enjoyable nonetheless. His entries in general are my favourite because they offer glimpses into the life of the fellow who created the webcomic I so adore, thus sating my rather mild, nonthreatening curiosity about him. Plus, his writing is fantastic; the dude clearly has a way with words, and any reader of Achewood will tell you the same. I'm convinced he could make even his tax returns entertaining.
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I am not a fan of golf, but I found this particular blog update enjoyable nonetheless. His entries in general are my favourite because they offer glimpses into the life of the fellow who created the webcomic I so adore, thus sating my rather mild, nonthreatening curiosity about him. Plus, his writing is fantastic; the dude clearly has a way with words, and any reader of Achewood will tell you the same. I'm convinced he could make even his tax returns entertaining.
I agree so hard. Here are some turns of phrase from his golf entry that had me reading them over and over again:
...my mind was beginning to shake on the rails of reason.
...most guys at cheap public driving ranges already write me off as invisible. I might as well be a successful woman with computer skills.
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In my defense, I completely delineated that its an unfair bias that is just too engrained in my head to let go of.
My father once told me that he only believes in three stereotypes: that most Irish are drunks, most Southerners are dumber on average and that most golfers are douchebags... and all other stereotypes are crap. I will say, I've definitely met my share of smart Southerners and golfers who aren't douchebags... but it is still hard to shake things your poppa puts in your head at six.
Of course, he also educated me on the history of the Sixties through National Lampoon albums and told me that I could be anything in the world "except for President" because I have an Italian last name and that on the off-chance an ethnically Catholic person becomes President they "blow your head off in Dallas" so... like...
He may have been specifically raising me to be a maladjusted crank, as like an experiment. I am open to this theory.
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It's especially telling how the worlds greatest golfer is an upper-middle class preppy douche from a long line of East-coast establishment, upper-middle class preppy douches. Right?
Try to separate the cultural associations about the game from the actual game. Otherwise you seem awfully closed minded and prejudiced. There are millions of working class people people who play golf. There are also lots of folks who play the game because they enjoy the challenge it provides, or because they enjoy the opportunity to be outside for a few hours, or because the enjoy spending time with their friends.
In that golf is an individual sport which requires one to hone a specific set of muscle movements, it could be said to be most comprable to bowling or pool; both of which have entirely different cultural associations.
As to golfing being incongruous with Onstad's personality, it don't see it. Based upon what we know of him, (foodie, Stanford grad, literateur, et al) one thing seems fairly plain about the man. He's an upper-middle class douche.
I agree with most of this post, but there's sort of an implication that the cultural associations are incidental. The obvious reason for the class distinction between golf and bowling and pool, is that the former requires a large amount of space for a relatively small amount of partici#####.
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... Plus, his writing is fantastic; the dude clearly has a way with words, and any reader of Achewood will tell you the same. I'm convinced he could make even his tax returns entertaining.
Words ... like persimmon. Mattock. Canavery.
Whoever mentioned Wodehouse was clearly on the mark.
A magnificent feeling reared its golden-coiffed head within me as ball after ball soared straight and true over the grass.
could be a straight lift from The Misadventure of Monty Bodkin or some such. The only difference is that Wodehouse would have 1) given his friend a personality and 2) put a twist in the end of the story. Maybe the twist comes next week.
Anyway, has anyone noticed it ain't August anymore?
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Anyway, has anyone noticed it ain't August anymore?
A new thread for the month is set up when the first blog of said month appears. Seems wasteful to start a new thread to continue discussion of last month's blogs.
Then again, I'm not a mod or such, so don't take my word for it.
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I agree with most of this post, but there's sort of an implication that the cultural associations are incidental. The obvious reason for the class distinction between golf and bowling and pool, is that the former requires a large amount of space for a relatively small amount of partici******.
Good point. Although I would suggest that the existence of large (and ever-growing) numbers of public golf-courses and driving ranges has mitigated that effect quite a bit.
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but it is still hard to shake things your poppa puts in your head at six.
My graduate advisor was always saying that the Jesuits said something like, give me a child when he is six and he is mine for life. This was always in context of some comment about how they'd warped his mind, but I think it was really about him being jealous that he didn't get his grad students till they were old.
And, it is correct that we don't start a new thread until one of the blogs notices it's not August anymore but can I say that I for one am very glad it is not August anymore.
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My graduate advisor was always saying that the Jesuits said something like, give me a child when he is six and he is mine for life. This was always in context of some comment about how they'd warped his mind, but I think it was really about him being
Michael Jackson said this too.
In my defense, I completely delineated that its an unfair bias that is just too engrained in my head to let go of.
My father once told me that he only believes in three stereotypes: that most Irish are drunks, most Southerners are dumber on average and that most golfers are douchebags... and all other stereotypes are crap. I will say, I've definitely met my share of smart Southerners and golfers who aren't douchebags... but it is still hard to shake things your poppa puts in your head at six.
He may have been specifically raising me to be a maladjusted crank, as like an experiment. I am open to this theory.
This may be a good theory. So, haven't been able to experientally disprove the 'most Irish are drunks' thing yet?
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This may be a good theory. So, haven't been able to experientally disprove the 'most Irish are drunks' thing yet?
You discovered the hidden joke! A tiny can of strange-tasting soda for you.
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Michael Jackson said this too.
Boo to that!
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man, no. southerners are smart as all hell.
but I guess it's like how whenever I go to Boston, I find that everyone is a loud moron.
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man, no. southerners are smart as all hell.
but I guess it's like how whenever I go to Boston, I find that everyone is a loud moron.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but they've done studies. Even Southerners think that people with Southern accents are of lower intelligence.
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Sorry to burst your bubble, but they've done studies. Even Southerners think that people with Southern accents are of lower intelligence.
Whew. Now I feel slightly less bad about the fact that I (a native South Carolinian) think I subconsciously take a friend of mine who is really intelligent but also has a severe Southern accent less seriously than I might if she had a different accent.
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I must agree with the Southern accent stereotype; this is why I am extremely glad I haven't the slightest trace of one, despite being Virginian.
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note: difference between percieved intelligence and actual intelligence.
also note: difference between "southerners" and "people with southern accents."
final note: the difference between that really ugly southern accent that few have, and the more subtle one which most have. the really extreme one is as much due to lack of education as birthplace, typically.
one stereotype that does hold: girls with midwestern accents are adorable. Good lord.