The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: oball on September 05, 2006, 06:47:10 am
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I'm not sure you're ready for this, kid. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09052006)
It's pretty sad, but not really as poignant as the others. Just harsh.
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Lie Bot's working some pretty rough sadnesses these days. Somehow, though, this is still the least sad of them... I think it's the Taliban increasing the hyperbole to toxic levels.
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I'm not sure you're ready for this, kid. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09052006)
It's pretty sad, but not really as poignant as the others. Just harsh.
If you think what Lie bot said was the center of the strip, you missed the point. The entire punchline, all the surreal Achewoodian humor, and Onstad's shark-jumping genius is encapsulated in the one throwaway line by Phillipe:
"I've been practicing."
The image of a five year old, retarded otter practicing finding out what the saddest thing is, is patently hilarious.
That or Onstad just threw a piece of poo at us so we wouldn't ding him for skipping a day to nurse his Labor Day Hangover.
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If you think what Lie bot said was the center of the strip, you missed the point. The entire punchline, all the surreal Achewoodian humor, and Onstad's shark-jumping genius is encapsulated in the one throwaway line by Phillipe:
"I've been practicing."
The arm-akimbo stance was nice, too.
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I dig this re-treading of classic Achewood topics. It's not alarmingly fun (that's a nice concept: something so funny it makes you go "oh shit" in-between guffaws), but it warms the old heart, and appeals to the Old Man that I am.
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Philippe's stances and expressions in this one make life worth living.
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I'm not so sure about "saddest thing"... You know, if I was an old bag lady dying of neglect - where is her family? - I'd be thinking "Ho ho ho..."
But then I wouldn't be a good old bag lady. I'd be bitter and twisted: first class kids' movie villain material. ;D
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Also, let me use the opportunity to address some remarks to that carefree, gay and merry soul that takes my tiny cans away:
Would you consider stopping it, my little bubbling gob of phlegm gushed forth from a teratoma fucked by a dog in the back alley of a hospital*? Please?
*She still owes that dog its fuck-money. For shame.
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Yeah, ever since the new can rates have started there are some users who've gone into negative cans pretty unreasonably. What gives?
dejavroom, you get a can to help put you back on Respectable Street. Though normally complaining about how many cans you have is kind of lame, I think you're pretty much justified.
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I know, I know (believe me, I *have had* negative scores on this board before, and even when they were like -30 I didn't say anything because, well, there was a story behind that... ^^), but this just smacks so much of stupid juvenile behaviour that I had to comment on it. The post was more to vent a little, without *really* trying to crawl back up to positive scores. At the very least, it *is* a board phenomenon, and one with a trollish bent to it...
(thank you for the can, though. it's very cool, really)
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you know the cartoonist is just fuck*ng with us here.
and I hope his labor day hangover was a GRAND one, worthy of tales.
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Also, let me use the opportunity to address some remarks to that carefree, gay and merry soul that takes my tiny cans away:
Would you consider stopping it, my little bubbling gob of phlegm gushed forth from a teratoma fucked by a dog in the back alley of a hospital*? Please?
No! You will suffer from minus cans for all eternity! All traces of Dr. Pepper will be drained from your soul: you won't even know those 23 flavours exist!
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Actually I've never touched your cans one way or another, though your post coming after mine could be viewed as implying that.
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No! You will suffer from minus cans for all eternity! All traces of Dr. Pepper will be drained from your soul: you won't even know those 23 flavours exist!
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Actually I've never touched your cans one way or another, though your post coming after mine could be viewed as implying that.
I'm now a little worried about what's going to happen when pimp_skitters hits 25 posts
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Outstanding thread title.
Appears to be some commercial-quality work right there.
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I'm now a little worried about what's going to happen when pimp_skitters hits 25 posts
For some reason I can give cans already. Haven't figured out why, maybe the can fairy came in the night ( don't quote me on that ).
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I think I lowered the can-giving/taking threshold to 10.
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Considering we tend to haze out the jagoffs in ~3 posts that makes sense.
Ah do declahe, whah y'all bein' so unfohgivin to uh southern lad like mah?
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GREAT BOARDIN' IS NOT AH CRIME
THE SUGAH RAIN: NEVER FORGET
(Because if we do forget, I'm sure Sugah's ghost will come back to remind us...)
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I'm not sure about Liebot's choice of words here. Is the family sitting inside the nice warm dinner? Are they part of the dinner? Is the Taliban simply carving them into bite-sized pieces?
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The comic left me cold but the thread is certianly making up for it.
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The arm-akimbo stance was nice, too.
Quite.
But, OK, what's the deal with the thread title?
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I'm not sure about Liebot's choice of words here. Is the family sitting inside the nice warm dinner? Are they part of the dinner? Is the Taliban simply carving them into bite-sized pieces?
Diner. Tripped me up too, the first read. The line breaks lead to pretty spacing but terrible phrasing and a hypenated homonym, which is never a good thing.
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But, OK, what's the deal with the thread title?
It seems like some sort of comment on the recurrent nature of the "saddest thing" bits... ala The Fast and the Furious/2 Fast 2 Furious/Die Hard/Die Harder/Die Hardest/etc.
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Pretty much.
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I can imagine this whole thing as though it were from a Coen Brothers movie, though I'm thinking something more Hudsucker Proxy than anything else.
A grainy black and white shot, the camera starts off high over the city, snowflakes falling past the lens. The city is a grid of black and grey, dark and unfriendly. The soundtrack is a choral version of Carol of the Bells.
Camera slowly zooms in on the sidewalk, we can start to make out a lump in the otherwise pristine snow. As the camera comes in closer we can see that it is a Bag Lady, strugling to take breath, but evidently still alive as we can just make out the steam from her breath.
The camera pans upwards and moves backwards, keeping the Bag Lady still in shot at the bottom of the frame. The top half the the shot is now the glass front of the dinner. We can see inside the gaily decorated dinner, the ornament covered tree on one side, the tinsel edging of the diner bar.
There is a family in the dinner, two middle aged parents and their eight year old daughter. They are kneeling on the floor of the dinner, heads bowed as if in prayer. Three men stand behind them, their faces hidden behind their keffiyehs, each man is holding a scimitar with the tip of the blade resting on each victim's left shoulder.
We see a tear roll down the little girl's face.
As the singing reaches its cresendo the men pull their swords back. At the climax of the song the blades slash down wickedly, severing heads from the bodies. Simultaniously we see the Bag Lady let out one final breath and her whole body relaxes as she slumps, still and dead.
As the scene fades to black, the singing ends just in time for us to hear the soft thud of the bodies falling forwards on to the floor.