The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: Fooker on November 14, 2006, 09:23:03 pm
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www.myspace.com/bradismylife (http://www.myspace.com/bradismylife)
You can reach this by google searching 'aaron redacted'.
PROBLEM: I don't know any 13 year old girls. I am not their boyfriend.
SOLUTION: Instant message conversation.
an0iance: you know aaron redacted olol
brittanythefaget: who r u?
an0iance: dude i went to school with a guy named aaron redacted i found ur myspace on
google olol
brittanythefaget: yeah.
an0iance: we know teh same guy??/
brittanythefaget: i dont live in arizona really though
brittanythefaget: probly
an0iance: ono?
brittanythefaget: lolz i dated him
brittanythefaget: whats yer name?
brittanythefaget: asl?
an0iance: what city he from
brittanythefaget: pennsylvania
brittanythefaget: whats yer name?
an0iance: Alright. Ok, I'm not gonna fuck with you.
brittanythefaget: i can ask him
an0iance: I'm also named Aaron redacted and I found your page via google.
brittanythefaget: no its cool
brittanythefaget: i like meeting new people
an0iance: It was kinda a surprise because up until now I only knew of one other AH in the world and he's in england and got on a webpage for a DUI.
brittanythefaget: what does yer aaron look like?
brittanythefaget: mines only 17
an0iance: I'll sell him a 21+ ID sometime.
an0iance: I'm 21.
an0iance: You're probably illegal to talk to. :<
brittanythefaget: whats yer name?
brittanythefaget: oh chill
brittanythefaget: lolz
an0iance: Aaron redacted
brittanythefaget: yer name is?!
brittanythefaget: lolz sweet
an0iance: Swear.
brittanythefaget: my names brittany wigand
brittanythefaget: am i yer current gf?
an0iance: Probably not, I like being outside of jail.
an0iance: 99% buttrape.
an0iance: ^LESS.
brittanythefaget: oh wow
brittanythefaget: lolz
brittanythefaget: thats cool with me.
brittanythefaget: 99 percent anal too!
brittanythefaget: lolz
an0iance: :|
brittanythefaget: lolz
brittanythefaget: so yew just like typed in yer name and i came up?
an0iance: yes.
brittanythefaget: oh thats cool
brittanythefaget: so yew just got out of jail?
an0iance: No.
brittanythefaget: when did yew
an0iance: Never been to jail!
an0iance: I run fast.
brittanythefaget: ha ha. i thought yew said yew were and stuff fer like dui
an0iance: no..
an0iance: there is only one other AH that I found
brittanythefaget: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
brittanythefaget: lol
an0iance: and it was an english newspaper webpage listing him for DUI.
brittanythefaget: srry!!!
an0iance: np olol
brittanythefaget: lol that sucks fer him!
brittanythefaget: ha ha
brittanythefaget: do yew have a myspace?
an0iance: yeah, I added you out of curiosity.
an0iance: also people were asking me why a 15 year old was listing me as her boyfriend.
brittanythefaget: im 13
brittanythefaget: lolz
brittanythefaget: what do yew look like?
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ok, um, this entire (situation, conversation, concept, conversational skill set) horrifies me.
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I'm not sure whether that's more horrifying than the general tone of the conversation. Maybe she had more than one chat going on. It certainly seemed to take a while for her to catch the meaning of your conversation. Also, is "faget" some sort of malaprop? I've certainly never hear of a female referring to herself that way, gay or not.
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And in other news, IT'S AN FBI AGENT.
(http://i10.tinypic.com/47alilc.jpg)
http://i10.tinypic.com/47alilc.jpg
An FBI agent that I want to throw rocks at.
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Is the name BrittanyFace a reference to her Gallic facial features? Or is it a trend to put your name in front of the word Face? If so, that's damn awesome. FookerFace and TheinevitableFace, step right up. As for me, I reckon DickSlapFace has a nice ring to it.
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yeah, I feel like others on the Myspace have similar "face" names.
I'm not seeing the part where she says "I'm an FBI agent, so, don't feel that bad."
also: hopefully our FBI fellows are more clever than this girl.
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I'm not seeing the part where she says "I'm an FBI agent, so, don't feel that bad."
I'm reckoning Fooker's calling her an FBI agent due to the fact she (he?) is pretty blatantly asking people how they got talking to a 13 year old. I'm pretty sure they're hoping one dude will go "Hey, I'm 25 and scouring Myspace for hot under-age ass ;-)", and Hey-o! Dangerous paedophile behind bars.
'Cause really, ever since Roswell and Communism fell out of the public eye the FBI probably don't have that much to do any more. (To AugustWest and all other secret members of the FBI here: no offence)
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I got an email from my arabic teacher telling me (and the rest of my class) about the FBI's need for Arabic speakers.
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'Cause really, ever since Roswell and Communism fell out of the public eye the FBI probably don't have that much to do any more. (To AugustWest and all other secret members of the FBI here: no offence)
A) I am not an FBI agent. I suggest that AlohaDawg is the actual FBI plant.
B) I think the FBI does spend a little time fighting the global war on turrism.
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B) I think the FBI does spend a little time fighting the global war on turrism.
(http://gfx.filmweb.pl/p/77643/po.134433.jpg)
YA RLY
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Heh... using Redacted as your last name is a nice touch.
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it weirded me out when she said "99 percent anal too!"
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Fooker, don't end up on one of those Prime Time exposees where the guys show up at the teens house only to meet that news reporter guy.
Also, you've admitted to the subtly embarrassing fact that you google yourself. I like that. Here's a can.
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But doesn't everyone Google themselves once in a while? Oh, but you mean they don't admit it.
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See, things like that make me afraid of the interweb, it's so easy to get caught with your hand in the honey pot. And oh how tempting they can make that honey pot, I feel that these agencies are just bored and are just trying to drum up some business. Like in that old joke about how the word AMBULANCE is spelled backward so you can look in your mirror and read it the right way and then you get into an accident because you're busy thinking how clever those sign makers are.
And yew is a type of a tree ;).
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this is like how I finally found this girl who I've seen on campus a million times. And the reason I recognize her is because she looks like my girlfriend and one of my better female friends.
and of course, I basically said "oh man, awesome, I have been wondering who you were. because I see you all the time! you know?" and she had no idea who i was.
although now I know that apparently she took a picture of me sleeping one time. awkward. awkward for everyone.
...plus, meeting a girl and saying "you look like my girlfriend!" is just weird to begin with.
Sometimes the internet just makes you look way too creepy.
(although, in my defense, it's not as if I stalked her over the net. It ends up that my friend who used to live here knew her.)
(update: she does not find it creepy, apparently. I guess it balances out. "You look like my girlfriend!" "I took a picture of you sleeping!")
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But doesn't everyone Google themselves once in a while? Oh, but you mean they don't admit it.
Sadly, with names as common as mine I end up with 1000's of pages about other people. If I want to feel small I'd rather look at the starry night sky.
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Sadly, with names as common as mine I end up with 1000's of pages about other people. If I want to feel small I'd rather look at the starry night sky.
I was named after my great-grandfather but from what I can tell there is nobody else with my name. My first name has become exponentially more popular (although less so for girls) but my last name is still quite rare.
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There seem to be only a handful of other people with my name - just few enough for me to be annoyed at them for the intrusion. I have the biggest web presence of all of them because I used to be an academic - but I check every once in a while to see if any of the others are catching up. It's very silly I guess.
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But doesn't everyone Google themselves once in a while? Oh, but you mean they don't admit it.
I don't Google myself.
I Google you.
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Apparently I share my name online with a gene researcher, a psychology professor, a guy who stole a park bench, and a dead baby.
The dead baby has the most Google hits.
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I don't Google myself.
I Google you.
In Soviet Russia name Googles you!
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I always get some congressman, and then some other boring fellows.
some guy with the name Daniel B***** from Kentucky friended me on facebook recently. he seems kind of lame, it makes me sad.
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As far as I know, there is only one other person with my name on the Internet. She's a realtor from South Africa, and I bet she is pissed as hell that there is some obnoxious American nerd with her name who gets all her Google hits.
Most disturbing thing on the first page of the Google listings for my name: a full tabulated score sheet from the Nebraska State Speech Championships in 2002, (http://www.nsaahome.org/textfile/speech/2002a.htm) my senior year of high school. This is mostly disturbing because I still remember most of these people, and many of them I have unnervingly intense feelings about. ("Jesus Christ, Pat Lee? That private-school fuck! ... oh jesus, Joe Kirschner, that dude needed a shanking ... hey, Dan. I wonder what Dan's up to lately. Good guy.")
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A) I am not an FBI agent. I suggest that AlohaDawg is the actual FBI plant.
EH? I deny everything.
Also, my very western first name with my very Arabic last name gives me, for the time being, 100% Uniqueness on google with my name. And I think I still get 8 pages or so of hits.
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EH? I deny everything.
Just what I'd expect you to say...
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Would you believe it, I don't even have the same surname as anyone I've met in my life (barring my family) but in bonny Scotland there are a ton of Cuthbertson's.
Also, I share my Dad's first name and he's the first result, but he's had kind of a head start in terms of years. I will report back in 20 years on this.
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Depressingly, I think I have more hits on Google than the entire rest of my extended family (father's side) combined. As far as the Internet is concerned, my mother seems to not exist -- except for a reference to her full name on this site, (http://www.ariplex.com/ama/ama_nu21.htm) which is sort of disturbing.
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my mom got really excited, because I googled her and one of the results was someone's bibliography-- they were citing her doctoral dissertation.
but yeah.
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Would you believe it, I don't even have the same surname as anyone I've met in my life (barring my family) but in bonny Scotland there are a ton of Cuthbertson's.
I used to know a Cuthbert and he was a Dick (maybe a dickslap even). Coincidence?*
~Paul
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My maiden name googles better than my married name, on account of it being a highly unusual surname of Polish origin. Also, my web activity dropped off shortly after the conclusion of my undergraduate years. However, even with my more common married surname I don't seem to share my name with anyone online.
Five years ago, I had a fourth cousin in Warsaw locate me through my wedding photos website (now defunct) and ask me for leads on her geneological research. So I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that there are only three branches of my father's family in the United States -- mine, the New Jersey branch, and the Pennsylvanians.
Pedro googles like a champ, and it doesn't seem to matter if you use his real name or his handle. Each will lead you directly to the other.
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-- except for a reference to her full name on this site, (http://www.ariplex.com/ama/ama_nu21.htm) which is sort of disturbing.
Interesting. My name appears on that list 4 times.
**closes eyes - I am a unique person, worthy of love...I am a unique...**
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my name is not on there!
facebook has taught me that I have a common name, though. too damn bad.
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UPDATE:
brittanythefaget: U fuck*ng DICK
brittanythefaget: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ON ME
brittanythefaget: ON GOOGLE
an0iance: lol
brittanythefaget: U POST A WHOLE GODDAMN THING ON ME?
brittanythefaget: AND MY SN
brittanythefaget: AND OUR CONVERSATION?!
brittanythefaget: AND MY FUCKEN PICTURE?
brittanythefaget: FOR THE fuck*ng WORLD?!!!
an0iance: well, it was a screenshot of an IM actually
brittanythefaget: IM GOING TO fuck*ng KILL YOU
brittanythefaget: YOU fuck*ng ASSHOLE!!
an0iance: if you don't like your info out for the world, don't start a fuck*ng myspace.
brittanythefaget: YOUD OTN EVEN KNO ME!!!
brittanythefaget: THATS BULLSHIT
brittanythefaget: MY MYSPACE IS PRIVATE
an0iance: this is hilarious, please continue
brittanythefaget: AND U GOT IT ON THERE FOR
brittanythefaget: GOODLE
an0iance: well, it used to be public
brittanythefaget: GO SHOVE A DILDO UP UR ASS
brittanythefaget: IM GOIN G TO RUIN UR SN
brittanythefaget: AND YOUR ACCOUNT
an0iance: are you now.
an0iance: that's awesome.
an0iance: have fun with that, ok?
brittanythefaget: AND IF I FIND U, IM GOING TO fuck*ng KILL YOU
brittanythefaget: YOUR UFCKING ASSHOLE
an0iance: good luck with that
brittanythefaget: THIS ISNT OVER
brittanythefaget: U fuck*ng TWERP
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"U fuck*ng TWERP" is the greatest insult ever. It's like she got SOOO ANGRY that the buffer overflowed and landed her back at "crotchety old man yelling at 8-year-old prancing through his yard."
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That is exactly 16 kinds of funny.
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brittanythefaget: U fuck*ng TWERP
Of all the antiquated insults out there? I'm a huge fan of "fink".
"Twerp"... meh. Sounds too... Popeye-y.
I'm also a fan of the insult phrase: "eat a sh*tty peach".
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Isn't...isn't the whole point of myspace that it's not private?
I mean it was created to help small bands reach fans. That's pretty public. And if this girl has a myspace page then she's clearly in a band.
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Does our latest (http://touamb.com/index.php?action=profile;u=847) member have anything to do with this?
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"Goodle." Hee hee heeeeeeeeeee.
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Wow. That is fantastic.
Is it wrong that I hope she does find you? I imagine a confused girl who is uncertain as to whether she wants to fuck you or kill you, who just implodes into a cloud of JLo perfume, Paul Frank socks and wasted energy.
Also:
an0iance: this is hilarious, please continue
You twerp! In deed you twerp.
I have to admit, now that we've seen so much of her typing, I think she put your name as her boyfriend by accident, since she seems to just mash keys near and/or around the ones she means to be typing.
Didn't I say earlier somewhere that MySpace was for teens to arrange fellatio and indy bands to promot themselves? Now I'll add "make death threats" to the list.
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damn, i wish I'd ever gotten fellatio from myspace. All I ever got was... this one time I met up with this cute girl, and then my girlfriend accused me of cheating.
Which was hilarious, because she'd cheated on me multiple times. Of course, those times -may- have been arranged through myspace. I am not sure if fellatio was involved but... probably, yeah.
gross. gross. *vomits a bit*
I hope the girl actually -is- an FBI, and she is so sexily upset by you so cleverly blowing her cover that... she uses myspace to arrange some fellatio for you.
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She's cold twisin' her Dick Dastardly, and snickering.
"Yes...felllaaaaaaatioooo... a DESERVING end to that DO-GOODER!"
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I can't wait to say, "you know when I was a kid, the internet didn't even exist! If we wanted our dicks sucked, we had to go and do it ourselves!!"
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So many cans.
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brittanythefaget: MY MYSPACE IS PRIVATE
an0iance: this is hilarious, please continue
Can. :D
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Here's an archive of her messages to me, starting from three or four days after the first conversation:
http://www.televangelism.biz/brittanythefaget.zip