The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: robot_god on January 03, 2007, 11:15:33 pm
-
Cool feature, will probably shave a few minutes off of my day here and there.
-
Oh man, this is evil. No one can read just one.
-
How fortuitous that the button was posted today. My guy just broke up with me today, and he has all my Achewood books except 6 & 7. Why in the hell did I lend them to him? He probably hasn't even read them. At least now I can re-read favorite strips, with the bonus of being able to read the alt-text as well.
This post brought to you with smeared eye makeup and cats who are freaked out because don't understand why their human is making weird noises and leaking water out of her face.
-
Man, did we even know you had a fella?
Well, that sucks nine kinds of ass. Breaking up is hard to do, especially on a small island. Do you such as cross their names out of the phone book after breaking up?
Another one down.
What?
-
Sorry Linnea. I hope your heart isn't too badly broken. Please always remember:
You..Are..Rad!
-
Crap, Linnea. Clearly you need to initiate Operation Library Police: strap a backpack to Miwan and send him to the ex's house. Pin a note to the backpack reading "give me back my books, you cockknocker. <3, Linnea" One look at the wee eyes and wee ears, and he'll have the books trotting back to you on kitty feet ASAP.
Also, remember: you are a very special lady and you live in rural Alaska. There is a vast panoply of giraffe in the sea -- and you can go out and catch some with theoretically attractive dudes!
-
This post brought to you with smeared eye makeup and cats who are freaked out because don't understand why their human is making weird noises and leaking water out of her face.
If television has taught me anything, Elle, it is that you should become a cargo pilot... you could meet a nice Jewish doctor from Manhattan! Jesus could be your disc jockey!
Seriously, I send good vibes. You seem like a Very Cool Sort who deserves happiness.
If your revenge plans upon this cad revolve at all around needlessly long-winded witticisms on internet message boards, I will assist as required. I'm not good for much else but, y'know, the odds say it's going to be useful at some point.
Sees-In-The-Dark-Man isn't all that useful against Evil World Devourers or Morally-Complex Magnet-Power Dudes but... if a dude is running around stealing light bulbs, Superman's really happy that SITDM has one of those radio-contact doohickeys.
-
Look, if you need a "high-priced" "powerful" "New York" "Lawyer" to send a cease-and-desist-from-hijacking-my-stuff-or-risk-palimony letter, I'm good with documents. I'm not in NYC, though, so somebody else'll need to mail it.
-
Linn, if you want, i can fly up there in my jet, and then beat his ass in order to steal the books back. Then, I will take you for a ride in my jet-- as long as you're OK with the fact that my Superhero costume is kind of tight, which tends to be emasculating.
-
If television has taught me anything, Elle, it is that you should become a cargo pilot... you could meet a nice Jewish doctor from Manhattan! Jesus could be your disc jockey!
That's a paddlin'. Or a can. Or something.
-
Did I mention "high-falutin' ?"
-
No, no, you all have the wrong idea. What she needs to do is post his email address right on this here messageboard, and then everyone, even the lurkers, sends him email telling him to return the books until his inbox cries for mercy.
-
That's a paddlin'. Or a can. Or something.
Somebody just watched the teachers' strike episode, I believe.
It is too bad that you don't live in a place with a better dude:lady ratio. It sounds like the current high moose:lady and grisled giraffeerman:lady ratios aren't helping your love life.
-
Somebody just watched the teachers' strike episode, I believe.
It is too bad that you don't live in a place with a better dude:lady ratio. It sounds like the current high moose:lady and grisled giraffeerman:lady ratios aren't helping your love life.
For real. Alaska has a lot of men for every woman... they say that "the odds are good, but the goods are odd". I can't seem to find a non-crap dude to save my life. Jesus.
-
For real. Alaska has a lot of men for every woman... they say that "the odds are good, but the goods are odd". I can't seem to find a non-crap dude to save my life. Jesus.
Apparently all the non-crap dudes are just imaginary people on the internet.
-
Now I have to find a breakup perfume, since he bought me Chergui and Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens, which have been my favorites until now. I don't want to associate shittiness with them, because they're amazing. I got a beautiful sample of L'Eau de L'Hiver by Editions de Parfums Frédéric Malle, and it's unlike anything else I wear. I think that it will be my breakup fragrance.
I'm hell of temped to post his email addy, but that would be hitting below the belt. I sent him a brief and polite email asking him to return my books.
Moral of this story: Kids, do not lend your Achewood anything to other people, unless you ain't mind the fuckers keeping it and not giving it back. Jesus.
And yes, the non-crap dudes are imaginary people on the intarwub. Real people just can't compete with that, you know?
-
Okay, but if he doesn't give your books back within a week, you will post his email address, right? Riiiight? Because I am seriously the queen of the well-worded email. I once responded to a complaint email at my work in such a way as to have the person who sent the complaint send me five apology emails spaced out over less than 12 hours.
-
man. Do we know for sure that this is some kind of twisted achewood-stealing plot, and not "oh dang, I do have her achewood books! Gee whillikers, oops!"
If it is the first, though, we shall sign him up for so much spam.
-
Crap dudes is redundant. As a dude, I can definitely tell you... all dudes are crap dudes.
The key is, if you are a lady or a dude who likes dudes, is to find a dude who is crap in a way that is tolerable or outweighed by other traits.
I, for example, am a total crap dude in terms of self-esteem problems and procrastination... but my girlfriend had dated enough guys who were crap dudes in terms of being unfaithful or in terms of being social climbers or in terms of wanting to run her life to the point at which...
Since I am loyal and care for her for who she is without wanting to change her, the specific ways in which I am crap are mostly acceptable.
All men are crap in some way or another, all women are crazy in some way or another.
Lasting love springs when a dude and a lady meet who can deal with the ways that the other are crap or crazy and... y'know... they both understand and appreciate the ways they have been forgiven their being a jerk or being mad.
At least that's my understanding.
-
I think we can simplify this into "no one is perfect." The trick is to find someone who is imperfect in a way you can deal with.
-
Okay, but if he doesn't give your books back within a week, you will post his email address, right? Riiiight? Because I am seriously the queen of the well-worded email. I once responded to a complaint email at my work in such a way as to have the person who sent the complaint send me five apology emails spaced out over less than 12 hours.
mel, jough, the inev, lfm, CJ, omba, choop, AW, and V-Adore...I love you guys so goddamned much. That sounds...delicious.
I seriously doubt he's trying to steal them, but for him to neglect to return them would be highly inappropriate. I wish I had gotten them back from him earlier.
sorry for hijacking this thread into my second "lame ass breakup story" within 2 years (the last one was in June 2004 with my crap ex fiance). Ain't there some kind of statue of limitations on this? Some kind of rule against posting a betrayal story more often than once every five years? :( Man, I hate this bullshit.
-
Do you and the ex have... a mutual friend to pass these items through? I've observed that's the way to do it without opening up old wounds and/or tempting people back into bad bad bad situations. Of course, it is detail-dependent.
Do you have stuff of his to make it a semi-even trade? I find that if it's a situation of a hostage exchange and there's a third-party to do it, all you have to do is buy that third-party a nice bunch of beer and it generally works.
-
it is OK Linnea. I have done this about bullshit things multiple times. Let's be honest-- you're much more lovable than I am. And you actually have a thing to talk about, instead of being like "oh man, yeah, Achewood, but this reminds me of this one joke my girlfriend made..."
-
Do you and the ex have... a mutual friend to pass these items through? I've observed that's the way to do it without opening up old wounds and/or tempting people back into bad bad bad situations. Of course, it is detail-dependent.
Do you have stuff of his to make it a semi-even trade? I find that if it's a situation of a hostage exchange and there's a third-party to do it, all you have to do is buy that third-party a nice bunch of beer and it generally works.
This is the saddest thing. Especially how LFM is so careful to lead us to believe that he only knows this because it happened to a friend of his.
-
In past breakups, I seem to require almost nagging the ex to get her stuff back. I am all, "It is all in a box, and it is right here by the door, you just have to come by some time and it is ALL YOURS". But it took all the way until I had to make it, "It is on THE PORCH come by WHENEVER AND JUST GET IT PLEASE, before bad weather hits". Maybe things work differently in alaska? I've always wanted to go there (random side note).
-
This is the saddest thing. Especially how LFM is so careful to lead us to believe that he only knows this because it happened to a friend of his.
Well... it has happened to me but never on a huge scale.
Two dear friends of mine broke up and the difficulty was that... he was holding for her an AMAZINGLY HUGE wide-screen teevee that she couldn't fit in her apartment at the time... for months and months, for the majority of their relationship... and HIS roommates fell in love with the ability to watch it in the interim.
That was a weird one. Because it was his roommates' communal sports-watching device which they loved... more than their OWN girlfriends. Compli-diddly-cated.
-
I do not have anything of his, so there will be no negotiating.
I emailed him to ask for my stuff back with my mailing address. He emailed me back to say that this is all his fault, he feels terrible (yeah right) and that he'll mail them back ASAP.
It sucks that he would rather mail them back rather than just fuck*ng man up and bring them over, or at least leave them in my truck. However, the cold and impersonal USPS mail system is better than seeing him. God only knows what would happen if I had to see him this soon...but as lfm said, nothing good could possibly come out of that.
-
I emailed him to ask for my stuff back with my mailing address. He emailed me back to say that this is all his fault, he feels terrible (yeah right) and that he'll mail them back ASAP.
It sucks that he would rather mail them back rather than just fuck*ng man up and bring them over, or at least leave them in my truck. However, the cold and impersonal USPS mail system is better than seeing him. God only knows what would happen if I had to see him this soon...but as lfm said, nothing good could possibly come out of that.
all women are crazy in some way or another.
You didn't say he had to mail them, but c'mon, there is no way I wouldn't just mail them to you. Why else would you include your address?
-
You didn't say he had to mail them, but c'mon, there is no way I wouldn't just mail them to you. Why else would you include your address?
That's the whole point. I included my mailing address so that he could just mail them and therefore have no lame excuses as to why he didn't get around to returning them. I was bemoaning the fact that our relationship had degenerated to the point where the US Mail System had to step in as an intermediary.
I have been having really weird nightmares for the past couple of nights. It sucks.
-
Oh, well, fair enough.
I have just recently started having dreams. Well, at least dreams that I have some conscious of. I have never had a nightmare, but for me dreams are scary enough.
-
I've always had nightmares, pretty frequently, as far back as I can visualize. Four years old?
Three or four nights a week, I did and do remember them, anyway. My girlfriend tells me I wake up screaming pretty much every other night. When I was a little kid, it was usually dying by atomic annihilation. Why the bombs were falling on Little Falls, NY pop 4500 at the edge of the Adirondack Mountains... well... I guess I was a kid and kids don't think that part through.
I was able to read at an early high school level at five but... just because I understood the sentences and words and such part by part, didn't mean I had the emotional maturity or worldliness to fully comprehend the concepts I was reading in the New York Times to try and prove I was as smart as the adults. I don't think a little kid was supposed to be doing that and it may have screwed me up.
As I got older, they became mainly about getting chased briefly by a man with a shotgun and then being shot at short range in the head and... waking up screaming. The click, the flash of powder and... the screaming.
Occasionally, the nightmare would be that I was on one of those enclosed waterslides that's a pipe? And... when I get to the bottom, it's plugged up and... the water keeps filling up and the people keep coming and crushing me more and more and... eventually, I drown, pinned down by fifteen or twenty people.
Occasionally, I'd be forcibly absorbed into a cybernetic collective consciousness such as the Borg or the Phalnax or so on.
But usually the gun thing. Still happens. A little less frequently, lately.
This isn't to say that I don't have... non-nightmares, though. I can't say dreams, exactly, because dream suggests a nearcomplete positivity at least from time to time. Most of my non-nightmare dreams I'm... wandering through landscapes, semi-interacting with the world, semi-not.
I'll win a scratch-ticket lottery every few weeks in my dreams and... realize it's a dream and I'm not actually extricated from my worries by wealth and... I'll just wake up depressed. My childhood pets will show up a lot... except each of them cloned ten or fifteen times over. Just an army of my childhood pets.
When things completely outrageous like that happen, my dad shows up in my dream and tells me that these things are impossible, so I must be dreaming and... so I wake up, kinda depressed at the thought that magic cannot actually happen.
But the usual setting for my non-nightmares is... this conglomeration of the malls I would go to as a child, the malls of... Utica and... Syracuse and Albany. All kind of layered over each other, smushed together. And I just wander around in the places I did as a child, sort of unnoticed by the shoppers and the workers, like I'm the ghost instead of them...
Over my lifetime, the mall has kept changing slowly. Deteriorating. The good stores are replaced by... Dollar Stores or... flea markets or... nothing at all. The second floor, the middle has actually crumbled out and you have to use little catwalks and boards to get from store to store to... not fall through into a pretzel stand or the children's play area with all the gumball machines.
And I still dream it sometimes. Wandering through the second-rate replacements of the stores and halls I walked as a child, to get a comic book or a Smashing Pumpkins album, for hours a night unnoticed by the spirits and... then I wake up. Though the gun nightmare is the more prevalent.
Yeah, I don't enjoy sleeping much, I guess.
...I wrote a lot more than I intended to.
My point is... not remembering your dreams may not have been the curse you thought it was. If I remembered them less, I'd probably be able to fall asleep before two in the morning without taking a double-dose of diphenhydramine.
-
Dreams are weird. I try to promptly forget them as I get up each morning, because they're usually really bad. Getting into the shower first thing helps a lot.
Anyway, I'm drinking a crispy Amstel right now, wearing one of my favorite perfumes, and listening to a new CD. I would go out, but I just spent a shit ton of money on stuff I don't need, so I'm staying at home. The random button on Mr. Onstad's page will serve me well.
I'm still sad about the breakup. I mean, goddammit.
-
Dreams are weird. I try to promptly forget them as I get up each morning, because they're usually really bad. Getting into the shower first thing helps a lot.
http://www.xkcd.com/c203.html
-
I generally do not remember my dreams. I don't know why this is. Perhaps it's alcohol related.
-
I'm still sad about the breakup. I mean, goddammit.
Well, if you need to continue to vent more toward well-meaning and sympathetic near-strangers, here we are. I dunno if that'd help you or not, it has helped me in similar situations. Remember, the more you mention about the situation and the fellow, the more we can insult him to your delight. Even creative types such as we, there's only so much to work with.
-
Well, if you need to continue to vent more toward well-meaning and sympathetic near-strangers, here we are. I dunno if that'd help you or not, it has helped me in similar situations. Remember, the more you mention about the situation and the fellow, the more we can insult him to your delight. Even creative types such as we, there's only so much to work with.
I wish that this would all go away, but giving you guys his name and place of employ isn't going to do me any favors. He's probably not smart enough to get all the subtleties of any ammo you guys have to throw at him. He's an asshole and he can go ahead and find another fool. Meanwhile I will continue my death march to becoming the crazy cat lady, and will remain a lonely spinster who spends most of her time alone in a godforsaken remote Alaskan town.
EDIT*** w00t, 666 posts.
-
Meanwhile I will continue my death march to becoming the crazy cat lady, and will remain a lonely spinster who spends most of her time alone in a godforsaken remote Alaskan town.
Now you just stop that. That's just silly talk.
No one has to be isolated. Only you can choose to be a hermit. Even in a godforsaken remote Alaskan town, I'm certain there are plenty of people for you to care about, interact with and love. And if there aren't, get on a fuck*ng plane and go where the people you love are.
You are good people. You..are..rad. This is a fact no matter what your relationship status is. So it didn't work out with this particular dude. You are still a cool chick. That is the essence of you and nothing can change it. His loss. Rock on with your bad self.
-
Yea, my dreams are now about like me sitting somewhere around people who I think I know (like from real life), then I always wake up thinking I had learned something about them or even just who they are, but I can't. It is not displeasant, but it is pretty strange.
-
lfm: that sounds really familiar. hm.
also: I, too, have dreams about weird conglomerated buildings. Not so much anymore, though.
and that waterslide thing is terrifying.
-
There are ladies who like achewood?
-
There are ladies who like achewood?
LL Cool A
-
I often have a dream where I discover a door in my home that I never noticed before only to discover a giant gymnasium with a large raised proscenium stage and then I think "Wow I never noticed I owned a theatre in my own home! Now I can do plays forever!" I'm always alone in these dreams, but it's usually a really happy dream for me. Then this week, I dreamt of the discovery of the same gym/theatre, only the whole space was in darkness except for a red couch in the middle of the gym that had a single spotlight on it. For some reason this induced me to explore the stage in nearly complete darkness, from which appeared an angry midget who wanted to kill and cannibalize me. I ran from the stage, outside into the cold winter night of my SO's small home town with out a coat. The streets empty, the ice fog dense, persued by the midget destine to be murdered or die of exposure as I took off into the barren prairie ahead.
-
Wednesday I dreamed that I was in a slightly-modified version of my parents' old house, waking up and getting ready for work. I was late but hurrying.
As it turns out, dreaming about getting up and going to work isn't as effective as actually getting up. I managed to drag myself out of bed about 10 minutes before I was due at work.
In general my dreams take place in a few locations. They're always recognizeable as places from my life, but generally larger and full of empty rooms. What's weird is I've never had a dream that took place in one of my apartments, even though I've lived in them for most of the last ten years. I guess they just aren't dramatic enough.
-
I don't sleep I dream.
-
I don't sleep I dream.
I'd settle for a cup of coffee but you know what I really mean.
-
Cans for quoting an excellent REM song.
Your local can dispenser.
-
Damn, that reminded me of my favorite Verve song/lyric:
Imagine the future
Woke up with a scream
I was buying some feelings
From a vending machine
Hey, it is about drugs and dreams, that fits in great. See, we are talking about dreams, and since I quit doing coke it is always on my mind.
-
AND we mentioned Rapid Eye Movement!
HIGH-FIVE!
-
HELLS YEAH!!!
-
Linnea, I have a solution for you.
That solution is that you do the exact opposite of what most men in Alaska want. You move away from Alaska, and into my house, and I will make you delicious meals.
-
LL Cool A
MILA - Mum I'd Like to... Achewood.
Hm.
-
LL Cool A
MILA - Mum I'd Like to... Achewood.
Hm.
LL Cool J's nickname is an abbreviation of Ladies Love Cool James.
-
This random comic feature is great. I just used it and discovered an Achewood comic that I had never read before! It was like finding a small Christmas present a week later that somehow got stuck in the branches of the tree -- if that's even possible. The comic in question is the one where Beef spends the afternoon watching rally car videos and subsequently develops a phobia of doing anything whatsoever for fear that a rally car will pop out of nowhere and run him down. I didn't read it the first time because I was in Europe this past summer. I thought I'd caught up on all the ones I'd missed, but I managed to miss one!
-
That's one of my favourites. The look on his face in the last panel is priceless. :D
-
LL Cool J's nickname is an abbreviation of Ladies Love Cool James.
This is a fact that I knew.
Mind you - he's a bit panto these days is LLcoolJ.
"The club was far from empty. It was crowded at the entry" - check it, that's some wicked rhymes yo [botched gang sign attempt here]
-
I guess that onstad moved the Random Comic button to the TOP of the page.