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Trivial Pursuits => Science & Nature => Topic started by: smick on January 23, 2007, 07:52:44 am

Title: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 23, 2007, 07:52:44 am: As I spoke about in the penis in the subwoofer thread (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3280.msg78811.html#msg78811), I once had a visitor.

This evening as I was doing some work upstairs I heard my ladyfriend encounter this in the basement.

(http://www.tehsquee.com/critter.jpg)

You can't convince me that this is not the eye of a marsupial contemplating "the murder act". Luckily the basement is not joined up to the house. I don't want to call a dude who's just going to show up and kill the poor fellow, but I don't want him pooing all over my camping goods. Any of you know a way to a middle ground?

Also: What the hell, I thought possoms just lived in the south. When the hell did they come to Oregon?
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: side_show on January 23, 2007, 02:29:54 pm: smick, the possum totally read the last thread, packed up his things and re-located to your home. He was all "I say, this gentleman sounds like a perfect rube. I shall transfer my compendium of belongings to his domicile post-haste! The journey shall be long and arduous, but the gains well-worth the effort! Tally-ho!" (Sorry, I channelled Tony Millionaire for a minute there...)

Also, this is the first time I've ever seen a possum, though I've heard jokes about them and even seen a can of possum meat. It's a surprisingly cute creature. How big is it?
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: CortJstr on January 23, 2007, 02:55:25 pm: Quote from: side_show on January 23, 2007, 02:29:54 pm
smick, the possum totally read the last thread, packed up his things and re-located to your home. He was all "I say, this gentleman sounds like a perfect rube. I shall transfer my compendium of belongings to his domicile post-haste! The journey shall be long and arduous, but the gains well-worth the effort! Tally-ho!" (Sorry, I channelled Tony Millionaire for a minute there...)

Also, this is the first time I've ever seen a possum, though I've heard jokes about them and even seen a can of possum meat. It's a surprisingly cute creature. How big is it?

Considering that possums apparently speak latin I guess that isn't too far fetched.

Quando omni flunkus moritati
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 23, 2007, 03:30:57 pm: This fellow is just a tad bigger than a housecat. I kinda think I might be able to shoo him out with a broom.

Maybe I should find his top hat, and throw it outside. While he scrambles to retrieve it, I'll slam the door! Good day!

P.S. Bonus points to touamb quickly discovering that I have a soft spot for house pets and vermin.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: AugustWest on January 23, 2007, 03:50:19 pm: Just go after it with a broom or something. It'll play dead. Then scoop it up into a sturdy box with a lid and carry it outside.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: V-Adore on January 23, 2007, 04:40:42 pm: That possum looks downright... dare I say it... fat and sassy. He is daring you to take the fight to him. Clearly it's time to get the broom and get to scootin'.

(I remain startled at how big possums actually are. I had this mental image of them in my head for the longest time as little wee things -- you know, like rats with pouches? -- that got dispelled messily the first time I actually saw one, and the fucker was, yes, bigger than the cat. It was one of the many unpleasant surprises associated with Nebraska.)
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: side_show on January 23, 2007, 04:41:49 pm: Quote from: smick on January 23, 2007, 03:30:57 pm
Maybe I should find his top hat, and throw it outside. While he scrambles to retrieve it, I'll slam the door! Good day!

Well played! A minuscule can of effervescent refreshment for you sir!

(Also, yes, I had no idea they were so big. But who would win in a fight, the cat or the possum?)
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: jaydub on January 23, 2007, 05:03:01 pm: I come across possums here in California a few times a month - generally as roadkill. The few times I've come across a live one its usually a sudden encounter that leaves me yelping loudly (giant rat! Aiiigh!), the possum hissing and ducking its head, then toddling off into the shadows. I haven't seen one play dead - but then I haven't tried to swat any with brooms yet. We're content to be ships passing in the night.

They are indeed cat-sized - if somewhat lower to the ground than most kitties. A cat would destroy one in a fight though, what with their hunter skillz, neck-snapping canines and lack of playing dead. Possums have primitive teeth that are good for tearing up trash bags, gobbling fallen fruit and crunching snails.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: Sub_Topical on January 23, 2007, 06:25:20 pm: I never had a possum issue 'cause of dog. The last (only) time they tried to set up digs (not literal) She'd find 'em in the brush like low hanging fruit and next time she got housetime she'd bring it in all proud like. She didn't maul them so's I got multiple presents of faking dead possums in the house. I disposed of them via the 3S method. Eventually the supply of possums ran out and I'm guessing word got out in the possum community that the yard was bad juju for 'em.

The raccoons, on the other hand, are apparently smarter than dog. When she started wolfing her food in one big inhale I did some investigating. Seems like the local striped bandits manage to do a distract and snatch on her kibble foodies. I feed her inside in the mornings now. I guess that means they win, but I haven't told dog that for shame.

ALSO: The egg man is solution optimal. Get ye broom, posthaste. 3S is up to personal choice.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: theinevitable on January 23, 2007, 08:46:17 pm: "OH MY GAWD, there is this huge-ass rat outside! christ! ahhh!"
"um. that's just a possum."
"oh."

that was fun. I almost ran over a Possum when I was home for holiday break. possums are not cute, though. you think they are until you see them moving... something about the way they move is hideous to behold.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: linnea on January 23, 2007, 09:21:03 pm: JERSUS CHRIST, that is scary.

Do possums have Rabies? Can they bite you and cause Horrible Death?

There HAS to be some type of humane way to get the little critter out of your house. That is crazy.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: wombat on January 23, 2007, 09:27:21 pm: Some bad advice: I think Aug is right that if you go after him with a broom he'll play dead, but forget the box, I want to see if he keeps playing dead if you pick him up by his ugly tail and carry him outside.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 23, 2007, 10:06:54 pm: I arrived home and went into the basement armed with a deck brush, and all I found was a little bit of scat in the corner and a note.

Quote from: O. Possum
Dear Sir and Madam,

Thank you for your hospitality last evening. Please accept my gift and well wishes. Sorry for any trouble or concern I might have caused.

Sincerely yours,
Orinthal Possom

I guess he was just passing through.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: Sub_Topical on January 23, 2007, 10:13:08 pm: The one's dog would deliver would play dead even after dog had dropped them and run off for approval. They wouldn't stir no matter how much they were screwed with. You coulda dressed them up in clothes like demented doll toys and they would have doggedly determinedly played deaders. Possums are committed that way, I suppose. I guess when your tool set is pretty much the same as the primitive ur-mammals you go with what you got working for you.

[post script]Always nice to have a polite little house (basement) guest, happy endings for all!
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: jaydub on January 23, 2007, 10:22:06 pm: A can to Sub_T for possum dressing. I'm wiping tears from my cheeks.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: CortJstr on January 23, 2007, 10:56:21 pm: Quote from: wombat on January 23, 2007, 09:27:21 pm
Some bad advice: I think Aug is right that if you go after him with a broom he'll play dead, but forget the box, I want to see if he keeps playing dead if you pick him up by his ugly tail and carry him outside.

Quote from: The Book of Ratings
Opossums
North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. And it wouldn't even get past the quals in the Mammal Intelligence Open. I used to be much more impressed with possums before one of those scientific myth-debunking books explained that they don't so much play dead as fall into startled comas. Another pleasant childhood metaphor thrown under the fridge of science to rot. C-
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: jaydub on January 24, 2007, 02:25:13 am: Quote from: linnea on January 23, 2007, 09:21:03 pm
Do possums have Rabies? Can they bite you and cause Horrible Death?

According to this site (http://www.opossumsocietyus.org/frequently_asked_questions.htm#Do%20opossums%20carry%20rabies?), they're less likely than placental mammals to carry rabies due to low body temp.

If you see one outside during the day though - that's weird behaviour for a possum and I'd give it wide berth.

(edit for broken link)
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: wombat on January 24, 2007, 02:37:41 am: I am glad to know there is an Opossum Society. I mean, I like some pretty unappealing animals, but this makes me feel almost normal.

Too late, but the site also gives advice on opossums in your basement. It is apparently a Frequently Asked Question.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: side_show on January 24, 2007, 02:17:03 pm: Quote from: Sub_Topical on January 23, 2007, 10:13:08 pm
The one's dog would deliver would play dead even after dog had dropped them and run off for approval. They wouldn't stir no matter how much they were screwed with. You coulda dressed them up in clothes like demented doll toys and they would have doggedly determinedly played deaders. Possums are committed that way, I suppose. I guess when your tool set is pretty much the same as the primitive ur-mammals you go with what you got working for you.

[post script]Always nice to have a polite little house (basement) guest, happy endings for all!

I saw 10-year-old lizard whisperer Lily Capehart on Letterman. Naturally, after she's got em hypnotized she dresses them and poses them for photos. (http://www.lizard-ville.com/PhotoGallery/tabid/2283/Default.aspx) It's not possums, but it's a start.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: theinevitable on January 24, 2007, 05:28:38 pm: man.

if I browsed sites like that often enough, I might get angry enough to start a punk band.

things like that make me become much more misanthropic than normal.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: wombat on January 24, 2007, 10:41:33 pm: I am so jealous that I did not think of those lizard pictures.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 25, 2007, 05:17:20 pm: Orinthal is still in the neighborhood. I was out walking around the house last night during the fire on the next street over from my house (http://www.koin.com/Global/story.asp?S=5989265) when I saw him scurry into the bushes between my neighbors yard and mine.

I live in an old part of Oregon City, so all of the houses are pretty much right on top of each other. I have a feeling Orinthal has a den nearby and is attempting to live out of our garbage cans.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: littlefallsmets on January 25, 2007, 06:23:09 pm: My brother's Romanian boss once went up to him and she said...

"Daniel, we have problem with cats."

(He works in a lab where they test urine and hair samples for drugs... and a band of feral cats lives in their courtyard, they feed them and use them as their lab mascots and stuff. His favourite has differently coloured eyes so he calls that cat "Bowie".)

"Yeah?"

"They are being attacked by... animal I do not know."

"What does it look like?"

"Like... big rat. BIG RAT. Big rat with... pig nose and... ugly tail."

He chewed it over in his mind over in his mind. Big rat with pig nose and ugly tail, big rat with pig nose and ugly tail...

"Do you mean an opposum?"

"Yes! Yes, is opposum... is opposum... very good, Daniel, opposum."

And then she paused thoughtfull and asked:

"How do you kill one?"

My brother works in a weird place.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: linnea on January 25, 2007, 07:39:11 pm: Quote from: smick on January 25, 2007, 05:17:20 pm
Orinthal is still in the neighborhood. I was out walking around the house last night during the fire on the next street over from my house (http://www.koin.com/Global/story.asp?S=5989265) when I saw him scurry into the bushes between my neighbors yard and mine.

I live in an old part of Oregon City, so all of the houses are pretty much right on top of each other. I have a feeling Orinthal has a den nearby and is attempting to live out of our garbage cans.

The possum people on that .org website that was linked to say that possums are pretty much transitory in nature and that he should be packed up and moved out in a couple of days. Their suggestion was to cover up pet food and garbage. They even went so far as to nix the broom idea. What's a dude to do with a marsupial in his basement??
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: theinevitable on January 25, 2007, 08:06:19 pm: is possum. yes, is possum. how do we kill him?

I love the Slavic accent. Accents in general are wonderful, but only the Indian and Slavic accents have the power to make me all warm and giggly.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: jaydub on January 25, 2007, 09:28:39 pm: Once you've caught your possum, then what?

STUFFED OPOSSUM

Serves: 4

1 possum, whole
1 quart cold water
1/8 cup salt
5 beef bouillon cubes
2 bay leaves
3 celery stalks chopped
2 onions sliced
1 bag packaged stuffing

Soak possum in cold salt water for 10 hours.
Rinse meat in cold water and refrigerate 2-4 hours.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Prepare stuffing according to package directions.
Stuff possum cavity with prepared packaged stuffing.
Close cavity tightly. Place stuffed possum in roasting pan, add water, bouillon cubes, bay leaves, celery and onion.
After 2 hours turn meat. Reduce heat to 300 degrees. Cook for 1 more hour.
Test roast, if not done reduce heat and cook until done.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 25, 2007, 09:57:01 pm: Quote from: theinevitable on January 25, 2007, 08:06:19 pm
I love the Slavic accent. Accents in general are wonderful, but only the Indian and Slavic accents have the power to make me all warm and giggly.

Oh man, is SO cool!
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: Carlos del Vaca on January 26, 2007, 09:33:34 pm: You've got to caaaaaaaaaaarve that possum.

(For the unfamiliar, song over someone's mountain bike trip photos, here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJS5aN9YmP4).)
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: linnea on January 27, 2007, 04:04:57 am: The possum page just says to call Animal Control as long as they promise not to kill the critter.

Live and let live, you know?
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: JorgeFabregas on January 27, 2007, 09:58:46 pm: My dad removes possums and racoons from his porch all the time because they eat the cat foot and the giraffe in the little pond. He says that if you hold possums by the tail there's just nothing they can do. If you like, I can get advice on trapping one.

He used to take them to a golf course, now he takes them to The Rose Bowl.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 27, 2007, 10:52:41 pm: The Animal Control of the county I live in only handles dogs. Cats and everything else run free, I guess.

What's worse, in talking to a private animal control dude, he explained that the laws of the county only allow him to release animals that he captures on the property they were captured on, or killing.

That's way down.

Luckily the problem resolved itself.
Title: Re: Misfiled under "Small Mammals"
Post by: smick on January 28, 2007, 03:47:10 am: Quote from: smick on January 27, 2007, 10:52:41 pm
Luckily the problem resolved itself.

While singing happy birthday to my son, the gotcha light came on. I watched him tromp around outside, and then head to the fence between my neighbor and I. When I opened the door to take a picture, he just stopped and looked at me like I was about to say something to him. I snapped a photo, and then closed the door. As soon as I closed the door he just meandered on his way, up and over the fence.

(http://raindog.net/ljimages/orinthal.jpg)