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[smick]

As I spoke about in the penis in the subwoofer thread, I once had a visitor.

This evening as I was doing some work upstairs I heard my ladyfriend encounter this in the basement.

You can't convince me that this is not the eye of a marsupial contemplating "the murder act".  Luckily the basement is not joined up to the house.   I don't want to call a dude who's just going to show up and kill the poor fellow, but I don't want him pooing all over my camping goods.   Any of you know a way to a middle ground?

Also: What the hell, I thought possoms just lived in the south.   When the hell did they come to Oregon?

[side_show]

smick, the possum totally read the last thread, packed up his things and re-located to your home.  He was all "I say, this gentleman sounds like a perfect rube.  I shall transfer my compendium of belongings to his domicile post-haste!  The journey shall be long and arduous, but the gains well-worth the effort!  Tally-ho!"  (Sorry, I channelled Tony Millionaire for a minute there...)

Also, this is the first time I've ever seen a possum, though I've heard jokes about them and even seen a can of possum meat.  It's a surprisingly cute creature.  How big is it?

[CortJstr]

smick, the possum totally read the last thread, packed up his things and re-located to your home.  He was all "I say, this gentleman sounds like a perfect rube.  I shall transfer my compendium of belongings to his domicile post-haste!  The journey shall be long and arduous, but the gains well-worth the effort!  Tally-ho!"  (Sorry, I channelled Tony Millionaire for a minute there...)

Also, this is the first time I've ever seen a possum, though I've heard jokes about them and even seen a can of possum meat.  It's a surprisingly cute creature.  How big is it?

Considering that possums apparently speak latin I guess that isn't too far fetched.

Quando omni flunkus moritati

[smick]

This fellow is just a tad bigger than a housecat.  I kinda think I might be able to shoo him out with a broom.

Maybe I should find his top hat, and throw it outside.  While he scrambles to retrieve it, I'll slam the door!  Good day!



P.S. Bonus points to touamb quickly discovering that I have a soft spot for house pets and vermin.

[AugustWest]

Just go after it with a broom or something.  It'll play dead.  Then scoop it up into a sturdy box with a lid and carry it outside.

[V-Adore]

That possum looks downright... dare I say it... fat and sassy. He is daring you to take the fight to him. Clearly it's time to get the broom and get to scootin'.

(I remain startled at how big possums actually are. I had this mental image of them in my head for the longest time as little wee things -- you know, like rats with pouches? -- that got dispelled messily the first time I actually saw one, and the fucker was, yes, bigger than the cat. It was one of the many unpleasant surprises associated with Nebraska.)

[side_show]

Maybe I should find his top hat, and throw it outside.  While he scrambles to retrieve it, I'll slam the door!  Good day!

Well played!  A minuscule can of effervescent refreshment for you sir!

(Also, yes, I had no idea they were so big.  But who would win in a fight, the cat or the possum?)

[jaydub]

I come across possums here in California a few times a month - generally as roadkill.  The few times I've come across a live one its usually a sudden encounter that leaves me yelping loudly (giant rat!  Aiiigh!), the possum hissing and ducking its head, then toddling off into the shadows.  I haven't seen one play dead - but then I haven't tried to swat any with brooms yet.  We're content to be ships passing in the night.

They are indeed cat-sized - if somewhat lower to the ground than most kitties.  A cat would destroy one in a fight though, what with their hunter skillz, neck-snapping canines and lack of playing dead.  Possums have primitive teeth that are good for tearing up trash bags, gobbling fallen fruit and crunching snails.

[Sub_Topical]

I never had a possum issue 'cause of dog. The last (only) time they tried to set up digs (not literal) She'd find 'em in the brush like low hanging fruit and next time she got housetime she'd bring it in all proud like. She didn't maul them so's I got multiple presents of faking dead possums in the house. I disposed of them via the 3S method. Eventually the supply of possums ran out and I'm guessing word got out in the possum community that the yard was bad juju for 'em.

The raccoons, on the other hand, are apparently smarter than dog. When she started wolfing her food in one big inhale I did some investigating. Seems like the local striped bandits manage to do a distract and snatch on her kibble foodies. I feed her inside in the mornings now. I guess that means they win, but I haven't told dog that for shame.

ALSO: The egg man is solution optimal. Get ye broom, posthaste. 3S is up to personal choice.

[theinevitable]

"OH MY GAWD, there is this huge-ass rat outside! christ! ahhh!"
"um. that's just a possum."
"oh."

that was fun. I almost ran over a Possum when I was home for holiday break. possums are not cute, though. you think they are until you see them moving... something about the way they move is hideous to behold.

[linnea]

JERSUS CHRIST, that is scary.

Do possums have Rabies? Can they bite you and cause Horrible Death?

There HAS to be some type of humane way to get the little critter out of your house. That is crazy.

[wombat]

Some bad advice: I think Aug is right that if you go after him with a broom he'll play dead, but forget the box, I want to see if he keeps playing dead if you pick him up by his ugly tail and carry him outside.

[smick]

I arrived home and went into the basement armed with a deck brush, and all I found was a little bit of scat in the corner and a note.

Dear Sir and Madam,

Thank you for your hospitality last evening.   Please accept my gift and well wishes.  Sorry for any trouble or concern I might have caused. 

Sincerely yours,
Orinthal Possom

I guess he was just passing through. 

[Sub_Topical]

The one's dog would deliver would play dead even after dog had dropped them and run off for approval. They wouldn't stir no matter how much they were screwed with. You coulda dressed them up in clothes like demented doll toys and they would have doggedly determinedly played deaders. Possums are committed that way, I suppose. I guess when your tool set is pretty much the same as the primitive ur-mammals you go with what you got working for you.

[post script]Always nice to have a polite little house (basement) guest, happy endings for all!

[jaydub]

A can to Sub_T for possum dressing.  I'm wiping tears from my cheeks.