The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Victoria Waterfield on March 07, 2007, 01:28:43 am
-
It's nice to see that Vlad's hair has grown back (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03072007). Or whatever ***** hair does.
-
"ancestsors" =/
-
I love the Jewishness World Tour printout.
-
Today, I learned that things are only products if they are made in a factory.
Before today, I did not know that if you just printed something up, it was not a product at all.
Education.
-
"Who's supposed to be stupid?" wins the strip.
-
If only there was more space Vlad could've put "I Am Beink With Stupid"
-
i like this some.
-
The jewishness world tour reminded me of the "Mitzvah Van" RV that drives around campus with a rabbi alerting people that the messiah is coming.
And Teodore, I have seen a woman act that way. My girlfriend goes to an all girl school and when she comes to visit it is an intense scene. And I don't even own that T-shirt.
-
I enjoyed today's strip. Lie-Bot cracks me up. I wish we'd see him more often.
-
The yarmulke is hilarious. And the world tour of "Jewishness" needs to happen. Let's go find some sponsors!
-
Yum is not the standard reaction to ladies tearing off their panties with both hands. Vlad is such a poser.
-
How coincidental that I just read this strip and thread while in the midst of talking via IM with an old friend from high school ... we used to party like crazy and prided ourselves on being staunch athiests, and now he's married, has two adorable kids, and studies with a Chasidic rebbe 5 days a week. In contrast, in 2003 I was baptized an Episcopalian (we have a gay bishop!) and I consider myself to be strong in my faith. We were both talking about how crazy it is that we turned such 180's.
Vlad's ideas about Judaism seem to be based upon hearsay and invention.
-
I can imagine there are at least a few non-sports fans who might not know who Tim Hardaway is. I feel it's my public duty to bestow my knowledge upon you. He is a former NBA player who went on the radio saying he hates gay people after another former NBA player recently came out of the closet. His comments were not well-received.
For a complete idiot, he had a pretty sweet crossover move in his day.
-
Also: Any strip with Vlad in it is A-OK in my book. Onstad could post an 800x800 image with a tiny little picture of Vlad in the middle and I would still be ecstatic.
-
And Teodore, I have seen a woman act that way. My girlfriend goes to an all girl school and when she comes to visit it is an intense scene. And I don't even own that T-shirt.
Uh, word. I go to a women's college, and for the first couple years, people would ask me about whether women's colleges were like they were supposed to be, with the lesbianism and the rancor for available men our age. The answer is an unequivocal yes. We were all bi curious (except me, and my friends still give me shit about it) and boy-crazy until everyone got a boyfriend/girlfriend at once in sophomore year. Actually, some of us stayed that way after getting significant others, too. Moral of the story, single-sex education guarantees a degree in getting down/tearing off shirts.
Either way, how has that T-shirt not yet been produced and how long will it take Onstad to produce it? If I were Jewish, I would snap that shit up.
And why was John Rocker not included in that five-dollar joke?
-
damn. no all-girls schools near me.
WAIT.
GUESS WHO WENT TO AN ALL-GIRLS' SCHOOL?
*passes out*
(hints:
1-- y'all made jokes about me having Makeouts with her, after seeing her on my flickr?
2-- also apparently some of you thought she was my girlfriend.
2-- she is real cute.)
(don't actually guess, that is crossing a line I think. I just feel weird just... saying her name on the Intertubes)
-
I just realized that I am a ten-minute's walk away from a women's college that is right next to a religious center where the Jewish student's group constantly holds dinners.
-
Uh, word. I go to a women's college...
That's right RMJ, and too bad you're taken or you could head over to my old school for the free beers and men who pander over every woman in sight. I thought transferring to a co-ed school would be like buying a ticket to some grand orgy, all with the girls living not 20 ft from where i bathe. I could not have been more wrong. Maybe now I need the shirt.
-
I went to an all guys high school, but I don't think that you can make the average teenage boy any more inclined to tear shirts off.
-
I went to an all guys high school, but I don't think that you can make the average teenage boy any more inclined to tear shirts off.
You could fill the shirts with itching powder. Or bees. That might work but it would still be such a small difference that you would need very expensive equipment to measure it.
-
I went to an all guys high school, but I don't think that you can make the average teenage boy any more inclined to tear shirts off.
I also went to an all-boys high school...for two years, and then we went co-ed before my junior year. My class was the first to graduate with girls ("women," as the administration insisted on calling them). In my class of 135, there were 11 females. The classes behind us were closer to 50/50 but it was hell of odd going from a male-centered environment to one where we suddenly felt compelled to hold in farts, to have clothing that was handsome (as opposed to conforming to the minimum standards of the dress code), or to worry about looking like a dork in class.
We used to go primal when a female anywhere near our age would walk through the commons area on her way into the building during lunch. Standing ovations, chimp-like hooting and banging of chairs on the floor...but it was a private school so the women put up with it because apparently we were all wealthy enough to act out without consequence.
Teenage boys do not need to be reminded 8 hours a day how much they want to see and touch boobies. This is why single-sex education is a Good Idea: with any luck, the gentlemen will get distracted by lessons or books or something and perhaps even learn. EDUCATION!
-
Yum is not the standard reaction to ladies tearing off their panties with both hands.
Y'know something, though?
If I was in a room and a lady was literally tearing her panties off with both hands, unprovoked?
I would actually be sort of frightened. All Hulkin' out on her underdrawers because she cannot go ONE MORE SECOND without mating... I would be pretty much frightened. This crosses a line past what is a sexy forwardness or a sexy admission of arousal and... goes into a weird animal place that I cannot necessarily zero-to-sixty into.
My first thoughts would be along the lines of "is this woman mentally-challenged or insane in some way? has she gone into some crazy Spock-like baby-heat and she's not gonna stop until she's got me locked in for a small ball of cells' college education? if none of the above are true, is she so worked up that she is going to accidentally rip my dick off?"
If a woman stepped into my room and wordlessly shredded her panties with her bare hands while fixing a determined gaze on me with no other explanation, I would basically jump out the window on instinct.
"This woman wants to kill me or, worse, wants to make a child! EVACUATE! EVACUATE!"
As Andre 3000 said so eloquently "I'm just bein' honest, uh uh, I'm... just bein' honest."
-
Teenage boys do not need to be reminded 8 hours a day how much they want to see and touch boobies. This is why single-sex education is a Good Idea: with any luck, the gentlemen will get distracted by lessons or books or something and perhaps even learn. EDUCATION!
Yeah, though it is a profoundly unnatural environment. I mean, I had female teachers and all, but pretty much everyone I know from school had their social development somewhat stunted as a result.
-
lfm-- obviously we do not have the same fantasies at all.
although in real life, I probably would be scared. Maybe.
actually, really, something to that effect happened to me once. And it was fuck*ng terrifying.
-
And it was fuck*ng terrifying.
Yeah, man.
Once I crashing at a friend's place during a college summer after a long night of drinking party at said friend's house and... I was woken up by his older sister sucking my toes. And...
I have been more shocked at times in my life?
I have been more sad at times in my life?
But I have never been so flat-out unadulterated freaked out in my fuck*ng life.
Not. A good. Thing.
A dude put on his shoes and walked home. That's what a dude did.
-
Téodor! 2007 Torah is out! Here is copy. Take take take. You take. Take take.
I completely fucked up a midterm earlier today, and now I come home to Vlad (with hair!), bees, and OutKast. Is SO good. Of course, Vlad obviously just grew his hair back so Onstad could recycle the panels from the Bible strip, but I'm not complaining. I like how he has the same bag, only with a Magen David instead of an ichthys.
-
That is really weird. I just got home from getting some more dental work done (see my post about having thousands of dollars worth of expensive dental work done because I smoked weed in high school) so I'm a little loopy on painkillers and my Reward Scotch.
...So lfm, a lady saw you passed out and decided to suck your toes? That's hella weird. Most guys I know have tolerable hygiene but nowhere near the type of hygiene that someone would have to have in order to facilitate toe-licking. Hella gross.
-
Maybe she spent a few minutes going over them with a handi-wipe first?
-
Yeah, uh, his sister is pretty much insane.
I knew she was weird but... yeah, I pretty much figured it out when I woke up to that.
When I figured out what was going on she asked me, and I honest to God quote, if I "wanted to come upstairs and rub her tits some".
In the fucked-up realm of the fantasies of people without much sexual experience, that probably sounds really hot. But bein' a dude in that situation, man, it is just fuck*ng terrifying.
Even being that I was in a place of no romantic prospects whatsoever at that point in my life and I was basically being offered no-strings-sex by someone I probably could never have to deal with again, it was just fuck*ng terrifying.
-
Maybe I'm just particularly frustrated, but I simply do not understand you party people running away from these fantasies made flesh. I mean, actually, I lied. I do understand. I haven't yet had an experience quite on the level of the aforementioned toe-licking incident, but I've had a couple of roughly analogous things happen to me, and it was indeed terrifying. But that didn't make it any less hot. The two conditions are not mutually exclusive.
Re: the strip, it appears those of us who thought Vlad had just recently grown his hair back were mistaken. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12062006) I know I completely forgot, at least.
The Jewishness World Tour reminds me of a kid I knew in eighth grade who convinced me that WWJD bracelets stood for "Word Wide Jewish Domination." Despite growing up in the Bible Belt, I actually believed him for a short time.
-
I didn't run away per se...
I just said "shh... sweetie... shhh... no, no, I... no, it's ok..."
the scary part wasn't the wanting to bang me part, the scary part is that the way she was showing this was... roughly analogous to sucking on LFM's toes, except... more with a potential for violence? She was having a complete Freak Out Episode; first she tried to hide under my bed, then she wanted to get her bone on, At All Costs. She did not convey any of this in words-- instead, she communicated in real simple noises, such as a mute would use. 10 minutes later she wasn't sure what had just happened, and I had to tell her.
Basically, very un-sexy. I had forgotten that this happened until just now, and it happened less than a year ago. I guess there aren't many retrieval cues for "that time your girlfriend started crying, then tried to punch you, and then started trying to... do some actions on me."
-
The Jewishness World Tour reminds me of a kid I knew in eighth grade who convinced me that WWJD bracelets stood for "Word Wide Jewish Domination." Despite growing up in the Bible Belt, I actually believed him for a short time.
From what little time I've spent in the Bible Belt? In a roundabout sort of way, I can see why your conclusion could be BECAUSE OF growing up in that environment not DESPITE.
When you got people spewing the kind of Weirdness on the AM dial about religion and conspiracy, I can understand why living in that place would prepare you to briefly believe that to be true.
Also, it would explain how you could believe that mind-numbingly frightening and hot could be the same thing, an idea that I simply cannot accept. Raised as a perpetually-lapsed Catholic, I know for guilt and shame twisting a fella on the inside but... ain't nothing for twisting pleasure and pain together like That Old Time Religion.
Driving across America, I once spent two hours moving all the Bibles to the front of the shelves in the Religious Fiction section in a Barnes and Nobles in Springfield, Missouri.
I am a fan of futile gestures against the crashing waves of inequity in the way you can only be if you spent your teenage years reading Vonnegut novels and being afraid of telling your female friends that you dig them.
-
Driving across America, I once spent two hours moving all the Bibles to the front of the shelves in the Religious Fiction section in a Barnes and Nobles in Springfield, Missouri.
This is the seed for every pissed off "you must forward this!" e-mail that shows up in Snopes. "Barnes & Noble keeps all their bibles in 'Fiction'!", "Starbucks won't serve veterans!", "the Target employee handbooks says that they are supposed to sodomize the children of rebuplicans!"
-
Yeah. Yeah, you are basically right.
If I am able to start ONE urban legend out of one of my obscure social-commentary pranks, just one, I can basically forgive myself for having pretty much gone nowhere with my life to this point.
But you guys also now have the secret to tracking me down if I am ever on the run... just check the local B&Ns and Borders and see where the Bibles are. If they're in the Religious Fiction section, I was pretty much in the area recently, on the tail of the One-Armed Man.
I mean, eventually the feds will put it together and realize that until 2003, every chain bookstore between Syracuse and Albany was like that and afterwards, every chain bookstore in the northern half of the city of Los Angeles is like that and... put two and two together but...
Maybe one of y'all could negotiate a government favour out of the deal before that.
Keith could get weed made legal, just for him, or something.
It would be worth it.
-
I may have to assist you in confusing the trail by doing the switcheroo in the Bay Area. That is basically genius (this coming from a not-so-lapsed Catholic).
-
Once I crashing at a friend's place during a college summer after a long night of drinking party at said friend's house and... I was woken up by his older sister sucking my toes.
If I didn't already think she was insane? Oh hells yeah I'd hit it. Protectedly, but yeah.
-
To clarify, the kid who told me that was himself Jewish, not some fruitloop carrying on about the International Zionist Conspiracy. As for me, I was raised in an atheist household by two atheist parents who had themselves been raised in the Church of England, which isn't really all that different. Hence my ignorance as to what WWJD meant, even with so many other people wearing it on their wrists all over the place.
Of course, that also leaves me with no excuse for getting all hot and bothered watching Blue Velvet, et cetera, but what can I say? Different strokes, dude. I guess it'll just have to remain a matter of respectful disagreement between sick fucks.
-
Are you a dude from circumstances?
-
Yeah yeah, that's right. I mean the shit I had to go through...
Actually, no. I grew up in a middle-class family in the 'burbs with loving parents and as I mentioned basically nothing in my life that could be expected to lead to me being this way. I'm just into creepy stuff, is all. Then again, why do I even need to try and justify this? I refuse to apologize for my outlandish paraphilias.
-
Then again, why do I even need to try and justify this? I refuse to apologize for my outlandish paraphilias.
Let that freak flag fly!