The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: iron_felix on March 08, 2007, 03:23:34 am
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RAY SMUCKLES: HE GETS THINGS DONE. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03082007)
...of course, even a dude such as he feels the need to glance over his shoulder and make sure nobody can see him replying to a Nigerian spammer. I was definitely not expecting a follow-up strip, but I'm much more surprised by how amusing it is.
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I like where this (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03082007) is going.
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Bah! 26 seconds too slow! Here (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3494.0.html) is the correct thread, until this one gets deleted.
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Oh man, now I feel bad for beating you to it - yours is by far the better thread title. Here, have a tiny can as consolation.
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Raymond Smuckles, the dude can throw away 5k just to mess with a spammer.
And maybe, if he's lucky, get a burrito chain going.
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Did Ray finally learn his lesson about balancing drinks on top of the monitor is it just off panel?
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I would sign every letter ever "In Christ" but not everyone would understand the context and...
"In Christ, like, totally ironically" loses something in the explanation.
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Am I the only person who had a totally sinking feeling reading this? I was all, "Oh no! Ray! Don't do it! You could lose all your Aibos! Nooooo!"
I mean, if anyone could pull it off, Ray could; but I'm guessing he'll need Beef or someone to bail him out somehow.
Or am I still such an Achewood noob that I'm missing some key part of Ray's personality that makes him immune to such scams? Am I missing something? Tell me, please, if I'm missing something.
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No way did Ray put $5k in a bank account. If he's smart he'll tell the bank he did so, and then tell the bank authorities to arrest anyone who comes in trying to access an account under that name.
I hate spammers so much. Dammit, my face hurts (see my previous post about having lots of dental work done to counteract damage sustained from passing out and breaking teeth after smoking weed in high school. I just got back from the dentist. Ow).
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Tell me, please, if I'm missing something.
Dude bears both the luck of the Fun God's Medallion and the basic twisted assumptions of the Born Rich.
Dude wasn't just born on third base and thought he got a triple, dude was born on third base with no outs and the dude coming up to the plate is the type of hitter who is just gonna sky it out to the warning track in right. And the opposing team's right fielder has no arm, he's just a real good hitter who used to be a catcher and they had to put him somewhere.
Dude was born into a prime sac-fly situation, is what I'm saying. The next guy don't even got to get a hit to drive him in. Ray can score on the next dude making an out. That is how set he is from the start.
This is why dudes like Ray basically need to be given as little actual power as possible, they're so used to being able to do anything they want with the assumption money's gonna clean up the mess.
This is why dudes such as Ray should not be president. There is the automatic presumption that all goals are as achievable as throwing a couple of extra bucks at a party for a primo caterer and, bam, a hit shindig.
Important Things don't work like that.
The presumptive nature of the Born Rich is a Forrest Gump-like halo around a dude.
Dude is rendered full-on Chauncey Gardner by his dough. This is how the world works.
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I don't think it's in Ray's nature to mess with a spammer and have the patience to really get him instead of just saying "PSYCHE!" or something along those lines at the end of the email. I think his signoff is really sincere, like he's feeling really good about himself for doing this.
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*drags lfm into a closet* Please... tell me more baseball analogies! *purrs*
Seriously though, thanks for the clarification. So the Aibos are safe?
(Although I am digging on the baseball analogies. Big time.)
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No way did Ray put $5k in a bank account. If he's smart he'll tell the bank he did so, and then tell the bank authorities to arrest anyone who comes in trying to access an account under that name.
Dude. $5k is like Bazooka Joe money to Mr. Ray Smuckles.
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(Although I am digging on the baseball analogies. Big time.)
I pretty much think in three kinds of analogies. Baseball, music and writing-theory.
This is because, as I have stated elsewhere, as far as I can tell the three coolest jobs are... writer, baseball player and rock star. I am completely uncoordinated and cannot play any instruments and so I am left with what I am left with.
My girl is painting a mural in the library at the school she works in and... I couldn't explain to her that she was being too subtle about something in the work until I was able to parse out the analogy of...
How people who have untrained ears will sometimes hear an awesome song that is just a voice and a piano or a voice and an acoustic guitar... and say "hell, this can't be that good a song, where's all the instruments?"
Only then did I properly explain myself. And then she agreed.
There were only three cultural institutions to speak of in Little Falls when I was a kid: the minor league baseball team, the Cannonball Valley Cinema Duplex and my dad's bitchin' record collection.
These things are pretty much who I am and want to be.
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I pretty much think in three kinds of analogies. Baseball, music and writing-theory.
Dude! You should be the next W.P. Kinsella.
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I feel like Ray is going to:
-Make more money
-feed Africa
-get the guy's millions of dollars, which he is trying really hard to give to people.
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I could be wrong, but I think Ray's "what the hell" in the first panel implies that he has only just now decided to actually do this. Ray isn't messing with the guy, of course; he fully intends to follow through and open up the account. He is writing in the past tense because after he has sent the email that is what he is going to do. At some point.
My prediction: This is the last we hear from Leon Sumbitches in the strip itself. In a blog entry in May or June, Ray remembers that he forgot to actually set up an account for him and/or wire the money over and feels kind of bad about it, but is prevented from making amends in such a way that he remains completely ignorant that the whole thing was a scam to begin with.
EDIT: Also, just noticed - the "tap tap tap" keyboard sounds end with a carriage return "TING!" in the last panel. Brilliant.
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I want to see Ray open the African burrito restaurant chain. How awesome would that be?
"CHOCHACHO BURRITO: FEEDING THE WORLD, ONE MEGA-BURRITO AT A TIME"
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I can't decide if he's messing with the guy, or serious.
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I had a California burrito with guacamole just today. It was delicious. I am on board with Mr. Ray Smuckles' plan to feed burritos to Africa.
I dipped it in Salsa Verde before I ate it.
It came from the Roberto's by the strip club, which is way better than the Roberto's by the check cashing place.
I tip them a dollar and I go every week so they like me. There.
Africa will like burritos, I am sure of this.
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I can't decide if he's messing with the guy, or serious.
Ray could not be more serious.
Ray does not have time to mess with the guy. Ray would lose his attention span if he was just messing with the guy. Ray has the resources to have way better things to do than just messing with some guy. For, like, two seconds messing with a guy would sound awesome and then...
Ray would remember that he has the money to completely commission a pinball game about himself and his friends. Or Ray would remember that he has the money to import a glacier and throw a Christmas In March party.
Or Ray would remember that he has some leftover takeout and a DVD of "Braveheart".
Ray is a man of action who doesn't have much time to spend on just-messin'-with-guys.
Ray is sincere in the belief that he is going to save the goddamn world with money and semi-authentic Mexican cooking. This is evidenced by the fact that he did not lose interest after three seconds.
Ray is just that kind of fictional talking-cat thing.
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Look at his expression in the first panel. I say he's messing with him.
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That ain't the look of a man (fictional cat) who is messing with someone.
That is the look of a man (fictional cat) who knows that what he wants to do will be judged as wrong and yet he knows, in his heart, is The Right Thing To Do.
That is the look of Jesus on the cross bein' all tempted with a life of nailing Mary Magdaline and all explaining to Dennis Hopper that h(H)e Totally Wasn't That Guy and just making a real life of things... but knowing that it isn't the way it is supposed to go down.
Ray knows he's gotta help this dude out, damn the judgements of his friends and well-wishers.
That is the look of The Passion of the Smuckles.
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It was my friend's birthday last night, and we tried to go for mexican food. Unfortunately everywhere was tres busy, and we would have had to wait around a while to a table for 10 people, so we went to the Fondue place across the street instead.
Only now do i realise what a foolish decision this was... I would kill for a burrito right now.
Ray is most definitely serious about this; his dealings with Bono (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222004) have taught him that things ain't always the best in Africa, and he's going to improve things the only way he knows how - by bringing the gift of mexican food. I expect Bono will have reservations, feeling that a Currywurst franchise would be the way to take this thing, but I have it on good authority that those things are hell of gross.
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Dude. $5k is like Bazooka Joe money to Mr. Ray Smuckles.
Exactly. This is the same cat who sent $10,000 to Oreos because he enjoys their product and felt they needed some "walkin' around money"
And since Ray opened a new account just for this his personal accounts should be insulated. When Ray doesn't hear back he will fly everybody to Africa to look for Leon, assuming something has happened to him.
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They should just give Africa to Ray, as an experiment in fun. I mean c'mon.
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I don't think it's in Ray's nature to mess with a spammer and have the patience to really get him instead of just saying "PSYCHE!" or something along those lines at the end of the email. I think his signoff is really sincere, like he's feeling really good about himself for doing this.
leon sumbitches... have my retarded baby
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I love burritos. They are my favorite food. Unfortunately, I'm on Weight Watchers right now, and since pretty much all your major burritos are like 1000 calories, I can't eat one. This makes me sad.
I also love baseball, and can'd LFM for his extended third base analogy.
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leon sumbitches... have my retarded baby
Ah, but "fuckin' with Cathy" is a holy goddamn crusade.
The creators of Cathy have basically gone at their eldritch art of sucking for decades without any real and substantive retribution.
While hipster comic-nerds such as we will spin theories that she is actually drawn by Bob Dole to set the women's movement back a generation (hence why he fakes a damaged hand as his clever cover story) we have all the mass-cultural relevance of a fart in a tornado. We cannot punish Cathy.
But Ray is a man on the inside, literally inside the fiction world of comic strips.
Ray can enact the vengence for us in a way only a fictional thing can, while we stand out here in reality, cracking wise on joshreads.com or whatever, read only by the hundred other dudes and ladies who read that site, basically preaching to the choir.
Messin' with a dude ain't no thing.
But a holy crusade like Saving Africa or Defeating Bad Cultural Artifacts, these boil the ol' Ray blood.
...plus, in the case of Cathy, Beef was totally there to egg him on.
That helps.
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Don't worry kids, Ray obviously followed this link (http://www.419eater.com/), as I'm sure we all did Monday (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3488.msg85036.html#msg85036), and decided to try some scambaiting himself.
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cracking wise on joshreads.com or whatever
Might've known there would be other Comics Curmudgeon readers on here too.
Can I ask a dumb question? what is the deal with the tiny cans of dr pepper? I understand they are given out as marks of kudos, but how do I 'can' someone
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When your post-count ninja is strong enough, you will know.
It will be like puberty. One day, you just wake up with new hair and a sudden realisation of what all this fuss about ladies is about. When your ninja is strong enough, your body will sprout cans-for-sharing and you will just know.
That will be the day you are a man.
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When your post-count ninja is strong enough, you will know.
It will be like puberty. One day, you just wake up with new hair and a sudden realisation of what all this fuss about ladies is about. When your ninja is strong enough, your body will sprout cans-for-sharing and you will just know.
That will be the day you are a man.
Or to translate into English: you need ~25 posts before the "giveth" and "taketh away" buttons will appear. Especially good posts can lower the threshold, post-whoring can raise it.
[edit: 5800 posts. I am a sad, sad little man]
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Ah, I see. That's good, I was starting to feel like a total retard for not being able to figure it out!
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[edit: 5800 posts. I am a sad, sad little man]
Dude, get a life.
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Dude, get a life.
Can'd because... holy Christ, how did I post this much in less than a year myself?
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dude, no, Currywurst is amazing.
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dude, no, Currywurst is amazing.
POMMES ODER BROT?!
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a-so. I have almost half as many posts as Cort.
...gross.
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Only losers post on messageboards.
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It is nice . . . to take a break . . . once in awhile.
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It is nice . . . to take a break . . . once in awhile.
Of course. I mean, you can't expect to just look at pictures of breasts all day without a rest, Cort.
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Of course. I mean, you can't expect to just look at pictures of breasts all day without a rest, Cort.
It was actually a really slow day, breast-wise. Only like 200 pairs. Hence all the posting. And refreshing.
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I don't know what kind of imaging Cort reads, but recently we got a new fancy digital x-ray machine at our clinic, and it's so awesome when the docs take the EMTs aside and point stuff out and teach us how to read films. It's awesome.
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I don't know what kind of imaging Cort reads, but recently we got a new fancy digital x-ray machine at our clinic, and it's so awesome when the docs take the EMTs aside and point stuff out and teach us how to read films. It's awesome.
I see all kinds (http://www.acr.org/accreditation/index.html) of exams. But I don't interpret any of them.
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Of course. I mean, you can't expect to just look at pictures of breasts all day without a rest, Cort.
I'm glad that was specifically for Cort.
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I'm glad that was specifically for Cort.
Don't try this at home. I do this for a living </Mythbusters>
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Actually, currywurst is pretty damn good. But it's definitely different than anything you'd expect in the US. But in a battle between a craving for currywurst and a good burrito or taco, because I'm a Coloradoan, gotta go with the Mexican food. MM! Especially Taqueria los Comales in Fort Collins, just across the railroad tracks. I LOVE that place. Even the lengua tacos, which a Colombian lady got me to try, weren't too bad (that's tongue for non-Spanish-speakers among youse)
I expect Bono will have reservations, feeling that a Currywurst franchise would be the way to take this thing, but I have it on good authority that those things are hell of gross.
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That has got to be the highest cans-to-posts average on the board.
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Except for that period of time when multiple cans could be granted in certain situations by some of the mod-type-people, I have to imagine you're right.
It was very early in my time here so I'm a little hazy on it, but I remember people with a few hundred posts having, like, 10000 soda-based kudo-units.
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That has got to be the highest cans-to-posts average on the board.
I blame a combination of nepotism and general awesomeness.
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Except for that period of time when multiple cans could be granted in certain situations by some of the mod-type-people, I have to imagine you're right.
It was very early in my time here so I'm a little hazy on it, but I remember people with a few hundred posts having, like, 10000 soda-based kudo-units.
Probably during one of my periodic 3 to 6 month blackouts.
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yeah, Jough gave people huge numbers of cans for a while. it was ontonse, but then no one cared about them any more.
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Ontonse?
A dude knows a lotta words and a dude does not know this one. A dude aced the verbal on his SATs, ten years ago back when such things mattered and a dude does not know this word.
Google suggests that it has something to do with an explosion of sexual energy but there is no strict definition. Is this a common word in some circles that I've never run across (I avoided the pun on "come across") or were you playing in a bit of ironic obfuscation?
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Google suggests that it has something to do with an explosion of sexual energy
That's good enough for me.
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oh. um.
intense. intense is the word I meant to say. For some reason I started saying it as "ontonse" as a joke sometime in high-school, and never stopped.
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I want to tell you that my wife really enjoys the kitten and the duck.
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yeah. it comes from this time in high school when we were trying to come up with the cutest thing ever.
the winner was that a mother duck shows her affection by lightly "beaking" her offspring (this is accompanied by using your hand as a "beak" to lightly squeeze the person you are explaining this to. Usually on the shoulder.)
that was the winner, until someone said "oh my... oh my god. There's this little lost kitten. It doesn't have a mommy. And then... and then... the mother duck find it. IT BEAKS THE KITTEN!"
that was a good day for us.
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intense. intense is the word I meant to say. For some reason I started saying it as "ontonse" as a joke sometime in high-school, and never stopped.
Such as Captain Picard would say it, in his weird far flung future where the son of French vinter dude can have an upper-class British accent so pronounced as to verge onto the border of self-parody?
"Ehn-TONSE"... such as the dude says "SCHEDD-you-eele". Gotcha.
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I think Patrick Stewart should have played that role in his native West Yorkshire accent. And not just out of foolish county chauvinism.
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Even the lengua tacos, which a Colombian lady got me to try, weren't too bad (that's tongue for non-Spanish-speakers among youse)
You get an even higher cans-to-posts average for liking the tongue-tacos. Tongue is fantastic. I had some beef tongue tartare once when I was in Spain, and I believe it was the single most delicious meal I have ever had. It is also good Mongolian barbecue-style.
Now I'm all hungry. I think I'll take a break and go make some lunch.