The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => History => Topic started by: Golfhaus on May 15, 2007, 11:38:01 pm
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On the news of Rev. Falwell's passing, I have this to say:
" "
Because that's what Momma told me to do.
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Can'd
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Liberty University ladies are some of the neediest lovers on the planet. It is my theory that he attracted this exact breed of female to his school. So that he could give them what they need
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While Golfhaus hits it on the head, here is what I said to my SO "I hope he ends up in the exact heaven he believed in, only to realize how boring and useless such a place would be. 'Welcome to the hell of your own making, Jerry.'"
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I won't speak ill of the dead, but I have plenty of ill to say about some of the things he said. On the other hand, Fred Phelps is still alive, and deserving of any posthumous vitriol that you might be tempted to toss at Rev. Falwell.
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This actually depressed me a little, even though I'm not in your country, just because once someone is dead they are immediately imagined to have been approximately 100 times better than they actually were, and that's just for regular obituaries. If these dudes didn't hate catholics (American evangelicals generally hate catholics right? I'm basically working of jack chick in making this assumption) I'm sure there'd already be a movement to canonize him.
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I won't speak ill of the dead, but I have plenty of ill to say about some of the things he said. On the other hand, Fred Phelps is still alive, and deserving of any posthumous vitriol that you might be tempted to toss at Rev. Falwell.
Oh, I ain't got such shame. I will shamelessly flog that motherfucker as hard as I can. That man was complete and utter scum; a sanctimonious godbag; a self-righteous asswipe; a man who is now getting what he had comin' all these years. I hope that he's roasting in hell as we speak.
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Liberty University ladies are some of the neediest lovers on the planet. It is my theory that he attracted this exact breed of female to his school. So that he could give them what they need
Liberty's gotta be an interesting school. Do kids drink there? Smoke? Have sex? Is there a small contingent of party kids who got railroaded into going there by their parents?
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My in-laws live in Lynchburg, and say of Liberty that the students fit into two categories:
1) The ones that believe, not just in Jesus, but in Jerry. That feel that going to Liberty is part of an overall plan to make society a better, more Christian place (and that feel that those two qualifiers are mutually inclusive).
2) The ones that grew up in Lynchburg and just kinda fell in there by default.
Word on the street is that in LYH, the ones in group number two are the killer drug connection.
As for the others, it wasn't until a few years ago that Jerry let his hair down and started letting women wear slacks on campus. Up to that point, it was ankle-length dresses only. And there were students who complained about the "message" that decision sent.
My personal Jerry addendum: We are in the process of moving our belongings from our soon-to-be-sold condo in Newport News to our soon-to-be-bought house in Charlotte. This will require an intermediate stop for our belongings in Lynchburg in the interregnum. As I work for an airline, I was planning to fly back to Charlotte from Lynchburg on Sunday, but since I only get on the planes if there are empty seats, Jerry's death has severely screwed up my plans.
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PS Golfhaus if you ever want to hang out with a 19-year-old boy (man?) who lives in South Charlotte, I may be able to hook you up.
By which I mean, me. And by 19, I mean... in 6 days.
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Dang, inev. It just occurred to me that the Olsen twins' 18th birthday was a total non-event for you. I mean, not that in any real sense it was an event for the rest of us, but the virtual panting over the internet leading up to that day was something to behold.
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Yeah, dude. All this time we've been waiting, you could've been banging them all along. No sloppy seconds for YOU, young man.
And how does one of them show up in the Maxim Hot 100 and not the other? I don't get that.
At any rate, I knew you were younger than the average here, but I didn't think you were (not even!) 19. I was guessing 21, 22. We may be on to something here. Perhaps a CLT Acheweekend.
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I hope that he's roasting in hell as we speak.
There is no hell.
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[HEAVEN]
"Hey Falwell! Grab a brew! Welcome to the afterlife!"
*looks over a man who looks vaguely like a mix of The Dude and George Carlin* "And... who are you?"
"I'm God."
"..."
*walking off towards a hot tub, with bikini'd babes* "Yeah man! If you want, you should go check out that weed they have out back, it's some good shit!"
Falwell will start a bitter club with a bunch of other anti-fun religious types. They would sit in the corner and just pray real hard that this is just a test, and the real God is watching.
And he is watching. On the other side of the room, with some more hot chicks, and he's really concerned about why those guys over there won't enjoy his party.
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So God is basically Ray and Falwell is Pat.
This makes sense to me.
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Wow.
I think I love you. Or at least your idea of heaven. Also, they have coke that you never come down off.
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And how does one of them show up in the Maxim Hot 100 and not the other? I don't get that.
One of them's anorexic and fucked up on drugs and looks like a scarecrow, and the other doesn't? That's my guess, anyway.
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One of them's anorexic and fucked up on drugs and looks like a scarecrow, and the other doesn't? That's my guess, anyway.
I would guess it depends on which one made the list. Maybe the biz folks prefer the first one...
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One of them's anorexic and fucked up on drugs and looks like a scarecrow, and the other doesn't? That's my guess, anyway.
They're not both? I mean, that's what I thought was going on.
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Also, they have coke that you never come down off.
Could somebody please invent this? Like, now?
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Could somebody please invent this? Like, now?
Sorry, dude, but I think that Baby Jesus has the patent on that for heavengoers. If you off yourself, you roast in hell, but if you make it to heaven you get the Eternal Reward. I think that Hunter S. Thompson was hoping that the suicide exclusion didn't apply...but if your survivors don't get your life insurance payout if you off yourself, I doubt that you're going to get the Eternal Reward, know what I mean?
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So what if you leave them enough money? Then can we do magic coke?
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No but your beneficiaries get to do plenty of real coke.
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Then they die, go to heaven, and get to do magical coke. You get to be with them, but can't do any coke. Your hell, their heaven - same place.
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Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
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It occurs to me that the evangelical guy I had somewhat sympathetic feelings for was Billy Graham. Falwell left me entirely cold.
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Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Sure, but at least the band in Heaven plays my favorite song.
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It occurs to me that the evangelical guy I had somewhat sympathetic feelings for was Billy Graham. Falwell left me entirely cold.
My wife grew up in Lynchburg, moved to Hampton Roads, and will be following me to Charlotte. So she will have collected the trifecta of living in the towns of Falwell, Roberston, and Graham.
And she's Catholic.
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a major road here is called Billy Graham Parkway.
That is all.
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I drive down the Billy Graham on the way to work every morning. Well, now that I'm moving, I won't. But I could.
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I won't speak ill of the dead, but I have plenty of ill to say about some of the things he said. On the other hand, Fred Phelps is still alive, and deserving of any posthumous vitriol that you might be tempted to toss at Rev. Falwell.
Fred Phelps has been protesting at Falwells funeral events.
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And someone tried to bomb them (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3201543&page=1).
Actually it doesn't specify that it was Phelp's protesters. Still a fun time for the whole family.
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Wow... a situation in which a Liberty University student was making a bomb to attack someone that he disagreed with... and I'm the side of the Liberty kid.
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF WORLD AM I LIVING IN