The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: linnea on August 25, 2007, 06:07:18 am
-
Sorry for the Freddie Mercury reference in the thread title. Heh.
Anyway, I got a bicycle on Craigslist. It's not the best, but it was $75 and I have something to do besides play on the internets during my long days of funemployment. Now my assbone hurts. I was reminded of this comic (http://www.little-gamers.com/index.php?comicID=1643); however, thankfully I do not have the sweat problem that the Swedish dudes at LG seemed to have. But damn, does my assbone hurt.
I guess I'll take tomorrow off the saddle, and then try it again on Sunday. I don't want to bruise my damn pubis symphesis and ischium. When I get some more scratch I'll buy a decent saddle that's made for ladies.
Do any of you party people cycle for pleasure or sport?
-
I cycle for transportation.
-
I cycle a bit (so does Smick, eh?) and I would advise, if you haven't, to go to a reputable bike shop and make sure it fits you and is correctly adjusted. Lining up correctly with the saddle is huge. (Also, get it serviced in general, but you knew that, or maybe you did that for yourself.)
-
I cycle every day to get to college, barring the transmutation of the local road into a fast flowing watery death trap. It's enjoyable, and the ladies love a well toned arse. As do the men, I am sure.
My bike's all out of goose at the moment, and I need to have a long talk with it sometime soon to sort out the saddle, wheel alignment and such. Hopefully I can raise the funds to chuck it away and get a proper road bike (mine is a mountain, which is useless)
-
i am hopefully renting a bike very soon to get around campus. I enjoy biking. um, I have no idea about saddles and such.
-
I cycle a bit (so does Smick, eh?) and I would advise, if you haven't, to go to a reputable bike shop and make sure it fits you and is correctly adjusted. Lining up correctly with the saddle is huge. (Also, get it serviced in general, but you knew that, or maybe you did that for yourself.)
That is an excellent idea. I am going to get it tuned up when I have some money. I can do some extremely basic stuff, but probably not enough as I should.
-
I have to point out, Nab and I live in a city that, if you are not seen on a bicycle at a minimum of once a year you are MURDERED.
-
I may be wrong, but I think the pre-requisites for living here are:
Smoker
Tattooed
Drinker
Pierced
Bicyclist
I don't know how many you have to achieve, but tattooed may be make-or-break.
-
I may be wrong, but I think the pre-requisites for living here are:
Smoker - I quit a few months ago
Tattooed
Drinker - I will from time to time, but mostly I drive, to support the ladyfriend's habit.
Pierced - 3x Nipple
Bicyclist - Check
I don't know how many you have to achieve, but tattooed may be make-or-break.
Looks like I still need to deflyle the temple.
* - Edited to make a typo BETTER
-
Smoker - 20 years, quit oddly enough when I moved to PDX
Tattooed - a couple
Drinker - uh, yeah, some
Pierced - a passel
Bicyclist - as much as I can
I suggest the Mike Tyson facial tattoo for you, smick.
-
Damn, and I was planning on moving to Portland. I have the ones that affect my health (bicycle, smoke, drink) but will never get a tattoo or piercing. I don't know why really, but I won't.
Interestingly enough, all the ladies that I have "nailed", to use a parlance of our times, have had at least 3 tattoos (the one I really liked had 7, mainly small) and more than just ear piercings. (well, there was one that didn't, but we were both like 16-17 and she has at least one tattoo now. That does not make a good story though.)
Edit: my state was also one of like 3 that had outlawed tattoos up until like 2 years ago when tattoos became legal. The cool thing is how it happened. The law was written as no irremovable body art was legal, or something similar. Once tattoo removal became fairly common tattoo parlors opened and there was no way of stopping them without making a new law, but since everyone knew it was basically a bad law the conservatives haven't tried anything.
Edit two: Here is a great song by Jonathan Richman (AugustWest can attest- best small venue concert ever):
Gather around for a minute or two / And I'll admit something to you / I get intrigued when women look sinister / Call me superficial / But I stare at them vampire girls / It's not the mascara, It's not the tight dress / It's a look in the eyes gonna scare you to death / Vampire girl, vampire girl / I get so intrigued when they look like a vampire girl - Does she cook meat, does she cook rice? / Does she do ritual sacrifice? - Vampire girl, vampire girl / I get so intrigued when they look like a vampire girl / Go little vampire girl, go little vampire girl, go little vampire girl, go little vampire girl. / Evil now, scary now, go little vampire girl / Evil now yeah, scary now, yeah yeah / Evil now yeah yeah, scary now, yeah, yeah yeah - Is she in heaven, is she in hell? / Is she a sex industry professional? - If you fall for the ruse, buddy, I won’t laugh / I believe I’ve fallen for it couple times myself - Here comes one with a serpentine walk / Comin’ up to me, she walks to talk / Hiya, girl, vampire girl / I get so intrigued when they look like a vampire girl / Who’d have predicted? / Who’d have suspected? / She’s not so scary / She’s got all my records.
-
You could periodically hang vice-grips off your nose.
-
You could periodically hang vice-grips off your nose.
No way, my body is a temple buddy.
Now get the hell out of the way of the mirror.
-
Have I ever told you people about how I won a brand new, extremely fancy mountain bike by drinking lots of booze?
I am too tired from camping and worry about the penis in my trunk to do all that typing right now. I try to remember to come back later and tell you about it.
-
Don't forget to also tell us about the penis in your trunk!
-
Have I ever told you people about how I won a brand new, extremely fancy mountain bike by drinking lots of booze?
I am too tired from camping and worry about the penis in my trunk to do all that typing right now. I try to remember to come back later and tell you about it.
Ooooh! A new bike?? That is awesome. Get some rest, tell us later.
-
Have I ever told you people about how I won a brand new, extremely fancy mountain bike by drinking lots of booze?
This is exactly the kind of thing Americans expect to happen in Canada.
How we adore our drunker, hardier, more frostbitten neighbors to the North!
-
This is exactly the kind of thing Americans expect to happen in Canada.
How we adore our drunker, hardier, more frostbitten neighbors to the North!
If I lived in Canada I'd be that fucker with the $312 million lottery ticket.
-
Yes.
So I frequented this bar. It was the sort of bar that had a cage of chainlink fence surrounding the dance floor, where people wore a lot of black and danced to the Smiths and the Cure and such. And I always ordered this horrible peach cider. It tasted real bad at first, but grew palatable the more of it you drank. This was back in my heavy bar drinkin' days where I'd be there Thurs-Sat with the occasional Wednesday (80's night!) and Sunday (The Breakfast Club - where if you stayed until closing they'd let you stay after the bar closed and serve you breakfast!) thrown in. And I always drank the same cider without fail. Then this brand new mountain bike appeared, suspended above the bar. A ballot was given each time you bought the particular cider. I didn't think much of it... but I was drinking 4-6 ciders a night, 3-4 nights a week for about a month. And I always filled out the entry form, mostly because one of the bar tenders was a really pushy classmate of mine who forced me to do so. I really, didn't think much of it. I was sitting there, half drunk one day, looking up at the bike thinking that it would be really great to have a nice bike since I was about to move out and live within bikeable radius to school home and work. But the bartender apologized and said they were all out of ballots, that the draw would happen soon. Shortly there after my classmate/bartender called me to inform me that I'd won the bike. I skeptically asked her if she'd fixed the draw, but no - she actually hadn't been the one to do the draw the owner had to do it since the prize was so great. I actually had to go down and sign a waiver due to the $2000 value of the bike when I claimed it. I walked through winding hallways of odd back room art involving mannequins and car parts. I chuckled as I loaded a bike worth more than the value of my car into my car's trunk. It was fall, and I remember riding that bike as the leaves fell down, the fall I first moved away from home and tasted freedom. I actually used the bike to ride drunkenly home from the bar through a near by park on various occasions. It's still a great bike.
Years later a bar employee at this bar went missing. There were posters everywhere. He went missing in November. In August, prompted by unrelated complaints from several business in the interconnected block that contained the bar about an awful odor that came up whenever it got hot, dogs were brought in. The employees body was found between the wall and drywall of the bar's basement. No foul play - he had crawled in between, possibly as a joke, or possibly due to intoxication, and had died there. Needless to say business was effected by this, and the bar actually closed down for good just this month.
-
Jesus Christ, Mel!! That is... a crazy story.
-
I remember way back when, before this board was started, when I thought I was a relatively talented writer and storyteller. Not publishable, mind you, but I figured I could hold my own with the people I know.
Compared to you and lfm, the things I write are like a weak Bazooka Joe comic, written on a toilet liner in crayon.
If it wasn't for being the hunk of the board, I don't know what I'd do.
-
Having grown up in a neighborhood with no sidewalks, I never learned to ride a bike without training wheels. Earlier this year I gave it the old college try, figuring it couldn't be anything near as scary now as it's supposed to be when you're a kid. I think I averaged about ten expletives per foot I had covered before I went down and bashed my ankle. Fuck bikes. Why can't rocket belts get invented already?
I may be wrong, but I think the pre-requisites for living here are:
Smoker - I quit a few months ago
Tattooed
Drinker - I will from time to time, but mostly I drive, to support the ladyfriend's habit.
Pierced - 3x Nipple
Bicyclist - Check
I don't know how many you have to achieve, but tattooed may be make-or-break.
...I'm pretty sure I'm not understanding that correctly. You wouldn't happen to be Fungus the Bogeyman, would you?
-
Having grown up in a neighborhood with no sidewalks, I never learned to ride a bike without training wheels. Earlier this year I gave it the old college try, figuring it couldn't be anything near as scary now as it's supposed to be when you're a kid. I think I averaged about ten expletives per foot I had covered before I went down and bashed my ankle. Fuck bikes. Why can't rocket belts get invented already?
Wait... what do sidewalks have to do with it? I think your parents just didn't want to teach you to ride a bike. I learned on a gravel back lane.
Nabu - don't be so down on yourself. Your sparkling prose makes you one of the more real imaginary people on this board.
-
...I'm pretty sure I'm not understanding that correctly. You wouldn't happen to be Fungus the Bogeyman, would you?
Sometimes in piercing places you'll see a sign: 1 nipple $45, Both Nipples $70, Third Nipple Free.
The guy I went to, he was not joking.
-
my dad was taught how to ride a bike by the following:
1. Take bike to top of hill
2. get on bike
3. go down hill
the survival instinct is pretty strong, I guess.
I learned by driving around my driveway for hours and being terrified. In the logic of the day, I had decided that I would never ride a bike, it was just TOO HARD, and I would end up a bum on the streets without this basic skill. I still remember my friends asking "why aren't you riding a bike??" and seeming utterly incredulous that I couldn't figure out how to do it.
-
my dad was taught how to ride a bike by the following:
1. Take bike to top of hill
2. get on bike
3. go down hill
the survival instinct is pretty strong, I guess.
This is how I learned to ride a bike, basically. My mom ran behind me for hours, holding onto the banana seat of my pink bike so I wouldn't fall over. I rode on the grass so that in case I did fall, I wouldn't get hurt.
Then my Dad came home from work, and my mom, exhausted, went inside to cook dinner. Dad put me at the top of the steep driveway facing two-way rush-hour traffic on the main road of my small town, stood at the bottom of the driveway, and said, "GO!" I flew down the driveway, and when I reached the bottom he grabbed the handlebars and turned them -- hard -- to the left to put me onto the sidewalk.
Mom was pissed, but I learned how to ride.
-
I taught myself to ride a bike because there was this pizza place across town, and i was damn hungry.
-
I taught myself to ride a bicycle because we wanted to hold jousting tournaments and we didn't have hosss.
-
Every time I get on a bicycle after a long hiatus I get pretty freaked. What if I fall down? what if I fall down and break my face? What if I fall down and bust out all my damn teeth?? Then the ol' inner ear kicks in, and my muscles work in sync with the information they receive from my little internal gyroscope thingus, and then I ride down the street.
-
i bike all over forever everywhere. sometimes it is lame to not have a car in asheville, but louisville was always most excellent for bikage. the rad bus system helps.
i've been intending to build myself a bike since the summer started, but it hasn't happened yet. and now i'm drinking my savings so i've got to get a job before i can think about it again. but watch out, fixed gear, here i come! if nohing else it can be a winter project.
some day i will traverse at least one state and hopefully several on a bike, and i will also travel to bike friendly cities. probably amtrak it this summer or something.
-
some day i will traverse at least one state and hopefully several on a bike
Start with Delaware and West Virginia. They've got real short dimensions in one way or another. Hawaii should be fun.
-
i bike all over forever everywhere. sometimes it is lame to not have a car in asheville, but louisville was always most excellent for bikage. the rad bus system helps.
Huh. No shit, Asheville? When inev gets back into Charlotte, we should do an Achecon here.
-
Huh, No shit, Asheville? You should call this guy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/193649895/)
-
yeah, charlotte is so cool, in terms of being a place Golfhaus and Beatrice and I can meet.
-
yeah, charlotte is so cool, in terms of being a place Golfhaus and Beatrice and I can meet.
Me too!
-
If this can happen, those of you who don't actually live in Charlotte can crash at our house. We have the room, since we bought the house to have room for chil'lens, and haven't gotten around to making any yet.
And oh, what the hell, inev can crash here too.
-
We would not want to impose our toddler on non-child-having types, but the offer is very generous. We are only about 3 hours from Charlotte, so we'd probably make it a day trip. Little P doesn't do very well sleeping in strange places anyway.
-
We would not want to impose our toddler on non-child-having types, but the offer is very generous. We are only about 3 hours from Charlotte, so we'd probably make it a day trip. Little P doesn't do very well sleeping in strange places anyway.
Eh, we'd probably consider it practice anyway. Mrs. Haus has indicated when this pack of pills empties out, she won't be refilling it.
-
Eh, we'd probably consider it practice anyway. Mrs. Haus has indicated when this pack of pills empties out, she won't be refilling it.
Whoa! Does that mean you guys are trying for a baby? I thought you already had children? Or am I mistaken?
-
hm. I think this could be cool! I will be back in Charlotte for 3 days around Thanksgiving (obviously this is not a good time for most people), for almost a month around christmas... and over the summer. spring break, I guess? I forget when that is.
-
Whoa! Does that mean you guys are trying for a baby?
It means his wife is trying for a baby at least.
-
fuck*ng babies. i was all set to upgrade from my 15 year old solid frame half-ton mountain bike to a 15-gram fuck*ng bianchi when my wife told me she's pregnant.
i was all set to buy it the day before she told me, but i forgot to take a utility bill to the shop to qualify for the interest free credit and figured i would go back the next weekend.
i'll be lucky to be able to afford it 20 fuck*ng years from now. baws.
-
fuck*ng babies. i was all set to upgrade from my 15 year old solid frame half-ton mountain bike to a 15-gram fuck*ng bianchi when my wife told me she's pregnant.
i was all set to buy it the day before she told me, but i forgot to take a utility bill to the shop to qualify for the interest free credit and figured i would go back the next weekend.
i'll be lucky to be able to afford it 20 fuck*ng years from now. baws.
Crap, dude. Babies are expensive. Good luck getting that bike!
-
Crap, dude. Babies are expensive. Good luck getting that bike!
dude, there is an obvious solution here. It is hidden within what Linnea just said.
commodities.
-
dude, there is an obvious solution here. It is hidden within what Linnea just said.
commodities.
If selling babies for profit is wrong (http://www.catandgirl.com/view.php?loc=26), then I don't want to be right.
Heh, it's a hee-larious joke because i posted an angry thread about human trafficking.
***EDIT: Oh my fuck*ng god. Chien, thank you for posting... I never knew much about Bianchi until I googled it out of curiosity about your post. They make a motherfuck*ng Ducati road bike (http://www.bianchiducati.com/). Schweeeeeeeeet!!! Of course, they start at around $2,300 from what I can tell (£1150-£4300 on a British website (http://www.macdonaldcycles.com/cgi-bin/sh000000.pl?REFPAGE=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2emacdonaldcycles%2ecom%2f&WD=ducati&SHOP=%20&PN=Dahon%2ehtml%23a331#a331))...but still...damn.
-
Whoa! Does that mean you guys are trying for a baby? I thought you already had children? Or am I mistaken?
I have a daughter from a previous relationship. Mrs. Haus doesn't, and after seeing how my first turned out, figured I'm good at making 'em quality. She also turned 30 yesterday. That's got a bit to do with it as well.
-
***EDIT: Oh my fuck*ng god. Chien, thank you for posting... I never knew much about Bianchi until I googled it out of curiosity about your post. They make a motherfuck*ng Ducati road bike (http://www.bianchiducati.com/). Schweeeeeeeeet!!! Of course, they start at around $2,300 from what I can tell (£1150-£4300 on a British website (http://www.macdonaldcycles.com/cgi-bin/sh000000.pl?REFPAGE=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2emacdonaldcycles%2ecom%2f&WD=ducati&SHOP=%20&PN=Dahon%2ehtml%23a331#a331))...but still...damn.
well, if you want that bike, you'll have to give up the ladies for a while.
god damn it, she just got a new car last year, and i can't get a new bike at one twelfth of the price just because my sperm swim stronger than ian thorp? the resentment against this devil child is building. maybe i'll call it damien.
-
well, if you want that bike, you'll have to give up the ladies for a while.
god damn it, she just got a new car last year, and i can't get a new bike at one twelfth of the price just because my sperm swim stronger than ian thorp? the resentment against this devil child is building. maybe i'll call it damien.
Yeah, the pretty honeys make me spend all my money.
You sound pretty full of rage, dude. Maybe you're not ready to be a dad? Fruit of your loins versus a bicycle and you're resentful? Maybe you guys could refi the house or something and get the Bianchi.
-
Yeah, the pretty honeys make me spend all my money.
You sound pretty full of rage, dude. Maybe you're not ready to be a dad? Fruit of your loins versus a bicycle and you're resentful? Maybe you guys could refi the house or something and get the Bianchi.
nah, i'm pleased really. just surprised it happened so fast. i figured i had til christmas at least to continue acting like a child.
there must be a way i can get that fuck*ng bike, though. i wonder how many back rubs i can fit in before may? also i could volunteer to massage oil into her perineum. apparently this helps reduce tearing.
jesus
-
nah, i'm pleased really. just surprised it happened so fast. i figured i had til christmas at least to continue acting like a child.
there must be a way i can get that fuck*ng bike, though. i wonder how many back rubs i can fit in before may? also i could volunteer to massage oil into her perineum. apparently this helps reduce tearing.
jesus
Yes on the perineal massage. Believe me on this. Probably the least sexy thing you will ever do to your wife's bits, but it will help preserve them for future sexy times.
Also, as a mother of a toddler with another baby on the way, you can tell you wife I said to buy the fuckin' bike.
I mean, seriously. Kids don't really start to get expensive until they get to be about a year old -- assuming that your wife plans to breastfeed. (Formula is ridiculously expensive.) We also cloth diapered, which saved a bundle. It's more work, but if you'd rather have the bike than the convenience of disposable diapers, go on eBay and buy two dozen chinese prefolds and six proraps covers (don't forget a pair of snappis) and promise to do the laundry every three days for the first year of the kid's life*.
Also, throw a big baby shower, and don't register for shit you don't need. Things you need: car seat, stroller, onesies, socks, sleepers, (possibly) pacifiers. A good baby sling (http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/) and an infant swing or bouncy seat if you can possibly afford it. That's probably it. Your wife will want things -- cute things, pretty things -- but the baby doesn't need them right away. You don't need a crib if you let your kid sleep with you for a while (great for nursing BTW). The kid's up so often the first few months that you don't want to run down the hall to the nursery five times a night. Or you can use a portable playard as a crib for the first year, then go straight to a toddler bed or a twin (with rails). Do yourselves a favor and don't worry about decorating the nursery until *after* the kid arrives -- we did my son's for his first birthday. And if you're in the 25-35 range, ask friends who have already spawned if they have any baby clothes you can buy from them at garage-sale prices. We got hand-me-downs from three separate families and our second son will be wearing clothes that have been through three other kids before him. They outgrow stuff so fast it doesn't have a chance to get worn out. Ebay is good for this, too.
Warning: I am a hippie minimalist mom, your mileage may vary. Co-sleeping, exclusive nursing, cloth diapering, etc. do NOT work for every family. But they are all really conducive to raising a baby on the cheap. You'd be surprised at what you can do without when you start paying attention to your kid and stop paying attention to what the staff at Babies 'R Us tell you.
All I'm saying is -- buy the bike. And a trailer (http://www.bicycletrailers.com/). No need to become someone different just because you've got a kid now.
Oh yeah, and Congratulations!
*According to my calculations, you can get this stuff new from cloth-diaper.com (where I got most of my stuff) for under $100 and you won't need new covers until the kid outgrows them around six months or so. (Even then it's another $30 for half a dozen covers in the next size up; you can use the same prefolds inside.) Assuming 8 diapers a day (minimum), you'll probably go through a $40 economy plus pack of diapers in about a month -- so over the first year you'll save at least $350 by using cloth.
-
For the first year-and-change of Audrey's life, our pediatrician would give us armfuls of formula containers. He got them for free and liked us as patients, so he would give us a few hundred bucks worth of lacto-free Lipil every time we saw him.
See if you can get yourself hooked up when the time comes.
-
Have all your friends and relatives hit the appropriate websites and register so that they'll get lots of free samples of formula, wipes, diapers, detergent, etc...and send them to you. You'll be surprised how much 3-4 people can get.
-
For the first year-and-change of Audrey's life, our pediatrician would give us armfuls of formula containers. He got them for free and liked us as patients, so he would give us a few hundred bucks worth of lacto-free Lipil every time we saw him.
See if you can get yourself hooked up when the time comes.
My friend Craig has the most adorable chilluns in the world (outside of TOUAMB of course). His 8 month old requires special formula that is fifty-five dollars per can. Maybe it's the same stuff. Yeowch!
-
Good thing you added he "outside of Touamb" qualifier, because, well, I wouldn't want to know the consequences if you didn't.
-
don't get me wrong; i'm quite looking forward to rubbing oil into fanta#####' perineum. it's the tearing of flesh idea that's freaking me out.
thanks for all the ideas, unfortunately i'm not american and can't mooch large presents off my family and friends under the guise of a baby shower. i'm into the reuaseable nappies though. this is the nineties after all.
-
Yeah, the only part of the watching-my-child-be-born part that I didn't much care for (and which has stuck for me) was when I saw the doctor reach for the weird-looking scissors. I turned away, but I heard it. I know I'm a sissy, that I wasn't the one getting sliced open... I'm just saying... damn.
-
you can't say ##### on here? why the fuck not?
and i don't want to be there anyway, if some fuck*ng quack starts reaching for the flesh scissors, i'm heading for the great outdoors whether i've got anything to smoke or not.
-
you can't say ****** on here? why the fuck not?
and i don't want to be there anyway, if some fuck*ng quack starts reaching for the flesh scissors, i'm heading for the great outdoors whether i've got anything to smoke or not.
Welcome to the wonderful world of hilariously arbitrary censorship. Actually, that's not true. Some of the censorship is Achewood-related, like in your second paragraph, but most of the times it simply exists without reason. You'll learn to love it.
-
the bianchi has been green-lighted. all that cooking, cleaning and back-rubbing worked!
now i can get back on the booze as well.
-
Yay! Double congratulations! Champagne all around!
-
my credit has been approved and the bianchi has been ordered. only 200 bucks a month for 6 months, which leaves me about 25 bucks a month for redecoration of spare room and purchase of baby accessories. should be plenty.