The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Victoria Waterfield on September 20, 2007, 05:18:59 am
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Oh, Lyle! (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09202007)
The alt-text really makes this one.
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That Darn Lyle!
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The idea of a dude getting off simply on licking a bra fits the pattern of perversion while pushing it just a half-step past what's realistic. I approve of the comedy and yet I focus on the strangeness of the idea.
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While Teodor watches other people's entertainment, Lyle is having an experience.
Classic Lyle.
Also: Ew.
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I think the offering to share is what makes this.
I almost typed: "I think the offering to share is what this is made of." It is late here on the east coast. Fortunately my search for a job has been fruitless.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v312/nDed03/The_Sandwich_Chef_3.jpg)
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It almost feels like Onstad has a device that produces a random character, a random inanimate object, and a second character and he creates a strip around that. It would require genius to carry off. But what a weird concept for a strip...
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I thought that the idea that a dude crack whore will do "anything" for ten bucks, even the impossible, was a funny concept.
"He'll really levitate and then turn into a Frisbee?" "He'll do anything for ten bucks."
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I guess licking a bra is no weirder than sniffing ladies' shoes/underwear. Although that's pretty weird to begin with.
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Of course, that's not generally done in semi-public, with shoes and underwear acquired from the police station.
I, er, assume.
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Of course, that's not generally done in semi-public, with shoes and underwear acquired from the police station.
Lyle is not the sort to concern himself with these matters. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02092007)
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Is this a return to being a breast man (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07022007) for Lyle, or just one of the many worlds of possibility that open up when one becomes a less discriminating hole man?
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nDed--a tiny can of Dr. Pepper for the Jack T. Chick reference!
;D
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I chatted with a crackhead today - or maybe meth-head, as that's more popular with the kids these days. That's the sort of interaction you get at a bus stop in my hood if you take your wallet out. If you have a wallet, people want to know if what's in it is for sharing. That's how it is. He seemed pretty sad and his eyes just scared the hell out of me.
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I thought that the idea that a dude crack whore will do "anything" for ten bucks, even the impossible, was a funny concept.
"He'll really levitate and then turn into a Frisbee?" "He'll do anything for ten bucks."
But will he turn into an eraser and erase your ceiling fan?
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Will he turn into a ten-year-old Hindu boy and get rid of his wife?
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Will he paint my house?
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Am I the only one who wonders, upon reading one of the many strips of this general nature, what Onstad is going to do when his child is old enough to look at the internet unsupervised? I like to think that he has some elaborate cover story about what he actually does for a living, selling vitamins on-line or some such innocent business. I like to think that the strain of keeping up this deception will make him just crazy enough to keep the strip on the edge for years to come.
But - he can keep her out of the warehouse, but does it ever occur to modern children to Google their parents' names?
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yep! One time I found a paper that cited my mom's doctoral thesis. that made her so happy.
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Was it a thesis on HOW TO BE A MILF
(I am so sorry)
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no. It was an analysis of major influences on someone's likelihood of going to college.
she started to write it about the psychological ramifications of wanting to F someones M, but her adviser said it was too obvious.
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I laughed. Out loud.
Tiny can.
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inev is on a roll today.
I laughed OL too.
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Can I give a shout out to DILF's? I get to see some damn hot poppas at my work sometimes. The rise of the DILF has been more of an underground thing, but us ladies, we notice.
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I thought this was basically old news. Half the high schoool age girls were unavailable for dating due to being swept away by dudes with cars and jobs. In college they were dating guys with careers. I'm not sure how it is I ended up with a woman my own age and not some dingbat twinkie. Hopefully its due to Moral Fortitude and wifely awesomeness, but I sure felt like I was going against the Order of Things.
Can I give a shout out to DILF's? I get to see some damn hot poppas at my work sometimes. The rise of the DILF has been more of an underground thing, but us ladies, we notice.
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A turd fell out of the sky and plopped down three inches in front of me today.
A bird turd, I mean.
The point is that if I had left my room a second earlier I would have been shat upon.
The second point is the phrase "bird turd".
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Bird Turd is the Word.
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Thank goodness pigs can't fly.
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I thought this was basically old news. Half the high schoool age girls were unavailable for dating due to being swept away by dudes with cars and jobs. In college they were dating guys with careers. I'm not sure how it is I ended up with a woman my own age and not some dingbat twinkie. Hopefully its due to Moral Fortitude and wifely awesomeness, but I sure felt like I was going against the Order of Things.
No, I'm speaking specifically of hot dads - older guys with cars is definitly old news, but guys who are manscaped and kind to their children is a hot combo.
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No, I'm speaking specifically of hot dads - older guys with cars is definitly old news, but guys who are manscaped and kind to their children is a hot combo.
OK, I'll bite. Manscaped?
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OK, I'll bite. Manscaped?
Well groomed?
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No, I'm speaking specifically of hot dads - older guys with cars is definitly old news, but guys who are manscaped and kind to their children is a hot combo.
It's even hotter when he's kind to *your* children. The ones you made together. With sexiness.
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Yeah, manscaped = well groomed.
JL, I can see how for a MILF like you your own personal DILF must be pretty sexy. For me it is more of a sexy thing because his children aren't my concern. Like a really hot elementary school teacher guy. Damn!
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Yeah, manscaped = well groomed.
um, no. Manscaping refers specifically to trimming body hair. You people should know this shit!
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Grooming good. Manscaping bad.
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Sometimes I feel very sad about the fact that things that are taken for granted in women (i.e., grooming) are assumed to be so special in men that they deserve their own terms. Seriously, "manscaped?" Are we talking about fastidious waxing-type stuff here, or is it just another term implying that any guy who bothers to comb his hair from day to day deserves a medal?
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I always had the impression that "manscaping" meant removal of unsightly back, neck, and shoulder hair. It can also be applied to going the extra mile and shaving or trimming the chest and genital region, although this is, shall we say, "extra credit."
Personally, I prefer the "au naturel" look in men. The way I see it, if I wanted to fuck someone smooth and hairless, I'd find a seventeen-year-old or a woman. (Either way -- I'm not particular.)
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my understanding is that it refers to shaping of the chest or pubic hair.
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Manscape derives for Landscape. It's the art of trimming and grooming of hairs. Like a fine landcaped lawn, and manscaped man has the appearance of structured tidiness in regard to his various hairy outcroppings.
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damn, my main problem is that as a dude of Little Age, my "outcroppings" consist of such as 1 really long hair randomly on my stomach, 1 long hair on my shoulder, 1 weird long hair on my back, etc. I mean, there is an amount of hair which I consider Standard, and then there are the random single long hairs in other places. Fuck that shit. I do not need hair on my shoulder.
In Anthro the other day, there was this girl sitting in front of me in a halter top who had one very evident hair on her shoulder. it was really creeping me out.
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All this said, I should pause and point out that the SO is not at all manscaped, and us basically covered in hair.
A nice looking man, is nice for just that: looking at. Manscaping does not make the man.
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i am kind of concerned that things like having a Random Back Hair mean that one day I will be hairy like other male members of my family. Damn, I do not want back hair.
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I am pretty proud of being a Fairly Hairy Dude.
I am Italian and Eastern European in extraction. This is what I am meant to be. I have had to shave my face since I was eleven and this is just how it is. How it's gonna be. My uncle Pete is the only person I have ever seen who is hairier than Robin Williams.
I do, however, shave my underarms.
Not an aesthetic choice, though, this is just so that I don't have to apply deodorant twice a day.
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i feel like my genes make me Extremely Skinny and Very Hairy (and bald.) Mostly the Hispanic ones. Irish/scottish... I do not know how hairy those ethnic groups are.
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I also get weirded out by the One Random, Dark, Long Hair thing. I've tweezed these things off my shoulder and upper arm more times than I can count. It's just like... why are you there, you crappy thing?
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I also get weirded out by the One Random, Dark, Long Hair thing. I've tweezed these things off my shoulder and upper arm more times than I can count. It's just like... why are you there, you crappy thing?
In my house these are Mutant Hairs, and they are tweezed with extreme prejudice.
Pedro gets them on the tops of his ears, like Yoda. I have seen a hairstylist try to comb and trim them like regular hair, then realize where it's coming from and make an "ewww" face.
*Those* get waxed.
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Eradicating creepy ear/nose hair is something I can really support. 'Lone wolf' hairs (long, dark, alone) are worth getting rid of. But if there's a bunch on there, it probably should stay, because it's going to grow back anyway and you'll have to get it out of there again. A dude who has large-scale waxings scheduled is not a dude I can fully respect.
I didn't have to shave every day until I was in college, but now I basically look like I could use a shave immediately after shaving. Way of the world, I guess.
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yeah, I shave like once a week. I need to shave more than that, but... I am lazy and in college.
also, I pluck my unibrow.
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I will attempt to eradicate hair on every portion of my face but my eyebrows (and eyelids, I guess, although I have been known to pull out eyelashes). As far as I'm concerned, my eyebrows have the right to be free -- free as the wind blows!
Also, if I tried to do anything with them, they would probably just look weird. I am not good at "sculpting" hair, merely at removing it.
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I will attempt to eradicate hair on every portion of my face but my eyebrows (and eyelids, I guess, although I have been known to pull out eyelashes). As far as I'm concerned, my eyebrows have the right to be free -- free as the wind blows!
Also, if I tried to do anything with them, they would probably just look weird. I am not good at "sculpting" hair, merely at removing it.
I confess -- I get my brows done. Not as often as one is "supposed" to -- maybe three times a year? But Pedro always comments that "you look really pretty today...different, somehow...in a nice way" and I like that I can do something that he likes without him really knowing what it is or why. My little secret weapon.
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I confess -- I get my brows done. Not as often as one is "supposed" to -- maybe three times a year? But Pedro always comments that "you look really pretty today...different, somehow...in a nice way" and I like that I can do something that he likes without him really knowing what it is or why. My little secret weapon.
I love getting my eyebrows done, but I have only gotten it done about twice in my life. This needs to change once I get a job.
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I love getting my eyebrows done, but I have only gotten it done about twice in my life. This needs to change once I get a job.
I hope you mean "I will be much happier when I get a job and have money to do this" and not "my job is going to make me sculpt my eyebrows."
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"my job is going to make me sculpt my eyebrows."
Scene: Mr. Dithers's office
Dithers: Linnea! What's the meaning of this?! Didn't you get a copy of the Company Eyebrow Standards Protocol? It looks like a penis died on your forehead! Do you think I'm paying you to look like Andy Rooney? Now get out of here and don't come back until your brows are suitably sculpted! HARRUMPH!
Linnea: Yessir, right away sir.
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I hope you mean "I will be much happier when I get a job and have money to do this" and not "my job is going to make me sculpt my eyebrows."
Scene: Mr. Dithers's office
Dithers: Linnea! What's the meaning of this?! Didn't you get a copy of the Company Eyebrow Standards Protocol? It looks like a penis died on your forehead! Do you think I'm paying you to look like Andy Rooney? Now get out of here and don't come back until your brows are suitably sculpted! HARRUMPH!
Linnea: Yessir, right away sir.
Jesus H. Christ on a pushbike, you party people each get a tiny can. Heh. I love it.
Yes, I meant that I will have more money to fritter away on salon services once I have a job and steady paycheck. Being a contractor sucks, I have no idea how I'm gonna pony up when it's time to pay the Tax Man. I have about $2,000 in credit already since I claimed zero exemptions in my job in Alaska, so I overpaid taxes then. I also have about $1,900 in credit for my moving expenses. We'll see.
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Jesus H. Christ on a pushbike, you party people each get a tiny can. Heh. I love it.
Yes, I meant that I will have more money to fritter away on salon services once I have a job and steady paycheck. Being a contractor sucks, I have no idea how I'm gonna pony up when it's time to pay the Tax Man. I have about $2,000 in credit already since I claimed zero exemptions in my job in Alaska, so I overpaid taxes then. I also have about $1,900 in credit for my moving expenses. We'll see.
I am glad that you understood that I in no way meant to imply that you actually have Andy Rooney-esque eyebrows. Whew!
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i feel like my genes make me Extremely Skinny and Very Hairy (and bald.) Mostly the Hispanic ones. Irish/scottish... I do not know how hairy those ethnic groups are.
Speaking from a sample size of 4, consisting of my Dad, myself, and my two brothers (for dudes of Irish descent) we are hairy in the typical places (shins and forearms) and not elsewhere (back, thighs, etc). We do, however, have famously long hairs in eyebrows (a la Andy Rooney, Tip O'Neill, or Pierce Brosnan), and I have a fringe along the rim of my ears that would be 2-3" if I didn't keep it trimmed (backlit, I'd probably look like this
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:dBPnRGtFS3uwaM:http://www.puppydogweb.com/gallery/americaneskimos/americaneskimo_perrigo.jpg)
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But why wouldn't you want to look like that? That's adorable!
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Do you think I'm paying you to look like Andy Rooney?
I'll pay you to look like Andy Rooney. It's ... It's a thing.
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D'jever notice that people on the internet have weird kinks? Why is that?
Back in my day we didn't lust after women's shoes or a guy in an ocelot costume. I don't get it.
D'jever notice that if someone strangles you to just almost the point of unconsciousness while you're pleasuring yourself it makes your orgasm just great? I do. But young folks today don't appreciate old fashioned pleasures like auto-erotic asphyxiation...
</Rooney>
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I am told my father is DILFy. He's a doctor and evidently looks like Dr. McDreamy from (Scrubs? Gray's Anatomy? Search me.)
On the minus side, he's boundlessly perverse (at least he talks a big game) and was metrosexual a decade avant la lettre (one of his favorite shirts, which my mom made for him before I was born, is a pink button-up with a beautiful pink-and-white orchid painted mural-style in pseudo-watercolor). For my mother these are definite pluses, but for most I have no idea.
AugWest: I'm going to can you now. There is no other reasonable response to a man doing Andy Rooney on newfangled fetishes.
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But why wouldn't you want to look like that? That's adorable!
Yeah, you'll let a dog sit in your lap moments after you meet him, he can get away with licking you and maybe even a crotch sniff. A man, on the other hand, not so much.
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Yeah, you'll let a dog sit in your lap moments after you meet him, he can get away with licking you and maybe even a crotch sniff. A man, on the other hand, not so much.
your advice comes tragically too late in my life.