The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: theinevitable on September 21, 2007, 05:49:48 am
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Basically ray is being a jerk here, I feel. Some people never get a job where they give you a chair. This is not really funny or entertaining to me, besides.
I try to go through life assuming "I've not had his life. Maybe he comes from a Circumstance where he needs to be calling me and asking about my long distance provider."
also I subsist entirely on windfall fruit.
YOU FORGOT THE PERMALINK
PERMALINK! (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09212007)
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"fuck your calculated tight black p@nts."
I've used variations of this more than once.
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My property is anyone's whore for the right price. Free is not that right price. I identify with Ray on many other levels here, however.
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I hate it when people come to my door or call with solicitations. What the fuck is wrong with them? I hate having my life intruded upon. If it is for a good reason, like a little kid selling wrapping paper to get better textbooks at their school, or someone asking if I've seen their lost cat, I am okay with that. I get pissy when it's a 19-year-old crackhead selling magazine subscriptions or whatever. I sympathize with Ray.
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Having been on the other side of the proverbial door, I can empathize with the hot dumbass in the calculated black #####. (Not because I'm hot or have the black #####) One of the scariest thngs in the world is to knock on someone's door and try to sell them something. Know what's scarier than that? Doing it again. And again.
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I thoroughly enjoyed this. Say what you will about the recent"insert funny object" pattern, this is a classic Fuck You Friday, such as we have not seen in a great while, thanks to that scourge, The Phillipe Times.
I notice that Ray might actually be subtly flirting with the woman in panel three. Look at his jolly upper-body carriage, his expressive eyebrows. He is thinking that once he makes her stop being a solicitor, he might be able to turn the situation around and make the most of it. I wonder if she has dry hair and is named Crystal?
I enjoy Ray's implication that being nineteen is a neccesary evil, a pain one must endure in order to become a real person, provided that they stay the fuck out of everybody's face. I respect Ray's philosophy on that.
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Having been on the other side of the proverbial door, I can empathize with the hot dumbass in the calculated black ******. (Not because I'm hot or have the black ******) One of the scariest thngs in the world is to knock on someone's door and try to sell them something. Know what's scarier than that? Doing it again. And again.
I am introverted enough that the thought of doing that terrifies me. Ugh. I feel so sorry for folks who do that. It is also the reason why I never got to go to the pizza parties in school for the kids who sold at least x amount of tacky shit to fundraise for the school.
I notice that Ray might actually be subtly flirting with the woman in panel three. Look at his jolly upper-body carriage, his expressive eyebrows. He is thinking that once he makes her stop being a solicitor, he might be able to turn the situation around and make the most of it. I wonder if she has dry hair and is named Crystal Summer?
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the other day my friend Dylan and I basically had to door-to-door solicit for the Radio Station. I mean, we were just handing out free schedule posters, though, so people basically just said "yeah, sure, I'll take one."
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Yeah, I've been there, when I was nineteen for that matter.
It's nice to have a job with a chair now.
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As soon as I saw "Fuck You Friday" in my RSS feed, I said "Aw yeah. I need this right now."
When I lived in Albuturkey, and really needed a job, I went to US PIRG and went out with one of their canvassers. After about two hours of following him around and watching him beg for money door-to-door, I handed him my clipboard and said "Sorry, I can't do this." I always feel kind of bad for people who are doing that because I realize how much it must suck.
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I hated selling pencils and crap like that in middle school. Luckily now I live in a secured apartment building and very rarely have to deal with people knocking on my door.
When I was in college those tight black ##### were like the fricking school uniform for ladies. I think the girls must have owned like 12 pairs each. Is it still like this in colleges now?
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I hate it when people come to my door or call with solicitations. What the fuck is wrong with them? I hate having my life intruded upon.
Just get one of those "NO SOLICITORS" stickers for each door on your home. Affix said stickers to said doors and enjoy a solicitation-free lifestyle. The stickers are clear, concise, and communicate the point more subtly than letting your yard go to seed or leaving broken bottles of Olde English in plain sight. Remember that the mailman or your sweet great-aunt who needs a cane might be coming to your door and you don't want them to think you're a derelict.
If someone gets bold and decides to defy the order of the sticker, just frown and point to the sticker. For emphasis, you can say "The sticker says 'NO SOLICITORS'" while you point. Like telemarketers, those people don't want to waste their time trying to crack an impossible egg.
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I have a story about solicitation. It's a good one too. I'm too depressed to type it up right now, but maybe in a little while?
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Smells, stop that, just winding us up, watching us dance to your tune.
Tell your story damnit.
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Basically ray is being a jerk here, I feel. Some people never get a job where they give you a chair. This is not really funny or entertaining to me, besides.
I try to go through life assuming "I've not had his life. Maybe he comes from a Circumstance where he needs to be calling me and asking about my long distance provider."
also I subsist entirely on windfall fruit.
Spoken like someone who is currently nineteen. Inev, you are the innocent idealist in all of us. I will rue the day you turn 21 and become A-CAP.
I did cold calls for the ballroom dance studio I worked at when I was nineteen. It pretty much sucked, and I only got paid for people who booked lessons. My fear of calling strangers on the phone got a lot worse after that, to the point where I won't even order pizza over the phone now. I use the internet or make Pedro do it.
Also, when my Dad ran for local office I canvassed door-to-door for him. I was six, and my pitch was, "Here's refrigerator magnet and a school calendar. Vote for my dad."
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My fear of calling strangers on the phone got a lot worse after that, to the point where I won't even order pizza over the phone now. I use the internet or make Pedro do it.
I feel like knowing you can order pizza over the internet will make my life both better and worse. I am not a big fan of calling strangers... but I am getting better at this as part of my job (/position? is it a job if you don't get paid?) at the radio station.
Of course, in that situation, I know that the people I am calling are in their mid-twenties to thirties and want me to think they're cool and hip for knowing about bands. At this point all but one of the people I have to call have mentioned "back when I was MD at (obscure college station name)." Also they always have to mention if they have met the band whose CD we are talking about, or if they saw them live because of course they all live in New York City or Boston and want me to be jealous.
What I don't know if I will ever be OK with, though, is calling them up just to tell them that no one is playing the Shitty Shitty CDs they sent us. Sorry!
I don't know. I can't imagine myself ever becoming more comfortable being a dick to strangers, even ones who are being dicks. I feel like I mostly get my attitude towards these things from my dad, and he is still pretty tolerant of dickery/idiocy, I think. When he does start being mad, though, whoo boy. My parents are really big on this concept of Not Letting People Walk All Over You, which I'm sure is great for them... but it's hell of embarrassing when they're yelling at some airline guy and everyone is staring at me. I feel like I am pretty good with telemarketers, though. I almost got tricked into letting them sign me up for life insurance that "is just a trial month, you can cancel at any time" through my bank, though. This was especially bitter because my dad worked for a big bank at the time, and this was their big rival. (not a dick "hah! I'm banking with your rival!" move. his bank doesn't have any branches in the midwest.)
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I feel like knowing you can order pizza over the internet will make my life both better and worse.
I like ordering pizza over the internet -- I do it all the time (or at least whenever I order pizza...) It's good because you can be certain your order is correct -- no communications issues with the order taker.
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AW! you used to work at KWUR!
Did they still call basically everything rock/pop/alt "Wave" when you were here? I have been trying to figure out where this came from.
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I don't know. I can't imagine myself ever becoming more comfortable being a dick to strangers, even ones who are being dicks.
No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever!
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I don't know. I can't imagine myself ever becoming more comfortable being a dick to strangers, even ones who are being dicks. I feel like I mostly get my attitude towards these things from my dad, and he is still pretty tolerant of dickery/idiocy, I think. When he does start being mad, though, whoo boy. My parents are really big on this concept of Not Letting People Walk All Over You, which I'm sure is great for them... but it's hell of embarrassing when they're yelling at some airline guy and everyone is staring at me.
This is why you are one of the Good Ones Inev.
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AW! you used to work at KWUR!
Did they still call basically everything rock/pop/alt "Wave" when you were here? I have been trying to figure out where this came from.
Shit, I don't remember. It's been 20 years. Also, I was a Jazz DJ. Also, substances may have been involved.
But since you asked so nicely, I think I can give you a definitive "Maybe."
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I had nearly forgotten about Fuck You Fridays. Good job this strip reminded me of this important but neglected tradition.
The last one isn't even a proper Fuck You, but I'll let it slide on the grounds that I believe that no one anywhere has any right whatsoever to be nineteen years old.
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I like to think that the people who walk around with political petitions in front of grocery stores are actually advance scouts for an alien medical experimentation fleet.
Basically, if you have the time to spend 25 minutes filling out a giant form in front of Albertsons to support something that has little directly to do with you in the smallest way possible, the aliens know that if you go missing for two days and come back with weird scars, nobody's really gonna be all that worried or surprised.
This is just the kind of person you are.
It is not to say you are a bad person. Hell, I am often this kind of person myself.
But... if I went missing like that and came back like that, no one would be that surprised and no one would believe the alien thing.
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I like ordering pizza over the internet -- I do it all the time (or at least whenever I order pizza...) It's good because you can be certain your order is correct -- no communications issues with the order taker.
I don't mind calling Vocelli Pizza. They have regional 800 numbers. So you when you call you get somebody hired just to hire the phone and speak clearly. They put the order in the computer and read it back to you before sending it to the store closest to you online. Why they don't just start doing online ordering at their website to begin with I couldn't tell you.
The farmers' market I go to is always staked out by Hilary and Obama people wanting to hand shit out. The Obama people have been there since at least July. We got so used to blowing them off that last week we accidentally blew off some guy who is just running for county council. Then we felt all bad about it.
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I liked being 19. My birthday is the 19th of Cocktober, so it was my Golden Birthday Year. It was a very good year, mostly due to my hot girlfriend and the ways she chose to rebel against her parents.
Also it was 1995 and the Indians were good, alt-rock radio was still awesome, I had friends who bought me booze, and I generally managed not to be a dick.
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damn. My 19th birthday was right after I got back from school. So basically I was in a shitty mood, and most of my friends weren't home from school yet. I don't really remember what I did. I think maybe I was swimming in my friend's pool at midnight? I think so. So i guess it was good overall.
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For my 19th, I had a dormmate who refused to buy me pornography because "you've already had a year! I'm only buying it for the 18-year-olds!" Which I thought was fair.
I also had a dinosaur balloon, because my other dormmates were dorks.
Carry on.
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For my nineteenth, I had a promise from a Boy that he would call me the next day.
He never did.
Two years later I ran into him at Target. Turns out he had been in a terrible car accident that night, and almost died. After spending a year recovering and learning to walk again, his brother was killed in an eerily similar accident and he went to Sweden for a year to grieve and sort himself out. He had just returned to the States and was buying furniture for his new apartment, but he was really bummed because the permanent brain damage from he accident had given him severe short-term memory loss and he didn't think he'd be able to finish his degree in aerospace engineering -- or anything else, for that matter. Meanwhile, I had graduated from college, found a good job, and gotten engaged.
The last time I heard from him (shortly after my wedding), he was selling camping equipment at REI.
Now that I think about it, I think the accident was on my twentieth birthday. But I was technically still nineteen when he promised to call, and there was a birthday involved.
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JL, that story may be the saddest thing.
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Going to Sweden to sort yourself out? Is that what the kids are doing these days? People went to Thailand when I was in college. I briefly considered going to Various Eastern European countries to experience the collapse of the Iron Curtain, but my grades were terrible enough already. I would probably also have had to swing financing the trip myself somehow, as my Mom would no doubt have not approved of me tripping around in potential war zones (although that never came to pass of course).
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I always thought that "going to Sweden" meant "getting a sex change".
I also always thought that "going to Thailand" meant "going to have sex with ladyboy prostitutes".
But that story is very very sad, yeah.
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Clarification: He was born in the US but his parents were both children of Swedish immigrants, he spoke fluent Swedish, and he was still closely enough tied to the Motherland to be able to locate relatives to stay with. Basically he needed to get out of the country for a while, and had spent two summers in Sweden prior to the accident, so it was a natural choice for him to go back there. He would get this faraway look in his eyes when he talked about living there, he made it sound like the most beautiful, placid, wonderful place in the entire universe, heaven not excluded.
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For my nineteenth birthday, my parents were out of town and Kelli and I threw a kegger at my folks' house. It was great. I had a local bakery make a really cute Piglet cake and we partied down. It was wonderful. I think I lobbied for and successfully got Guinness in the keg. It was expensive, but damn worth it.
The only embarrassing part of the evening was when my friend Beth, who is blind, was telling a joke and my friend Nicholas laughed REALLY LOUDLY at the wrong part of the joke due to his uncomfortableness about her blindness. It was weird, but a lot of sighted people have never spent time around people who are blind, and they don't really know how to deal.
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JDunstan:
Pardon me, but I think the guy who promised to call but didn't because of being in a car accident and having to learn to walk again, etc. was one giant bullshit story on the dude's part.
Entertaining though.
The Pope.
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JDunstan:
Pardon me, but I think the guy who promised to call but didn't because of being in a car accident and having to learn to walk again, etc. was one giant bullshit story on the dude's part.
Entertaining though.
The Pope.
JL, this dude registered just so he could say that.
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JDunstan:
Pardon me, but I think the guy who promised to call but didn't because of being in a car accident and having to learn to walk again, etc. was one giant bullshit story on the dude's part.
Entertaining though.
The Pope.
Uh, no. He was damaged. I was there, I saw it. I can tell bullshit when I see it, believe me.
Way to be an asshole on your first post. To an admin, no less. Nice job.
And it's dunstOn, with an O. Reading: It's Fundamental.
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Yeah, his story sounded like bullshit to me too, JL, but then I remembered that you're not functionally retarded and would probably know the difference better than I would.
The Pope is okay, though. He was trying to help. I can tell.
Also, Sweden is incredible. You'd go there too if you only knew...
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JL:
Didn't mean to insult, but ya' gotta admit it does sound like what Mark Twain would call a stretcher. Of course I don't know any of the facts so I will accept that it was true. Sorry to have offended. It is difficult some times to be a bit snarky without having something come off as being asshole-ish. I just came across this site the other day and I don't have a feel for it yet I had assumed that since we are all fans of Ray and Pat and Todd that the tone might accept a bit of good natured kidding. Clearly I was wrong and my lame attempt was off base.. I will err on the side of niceness though from now on.
Regards,
The pope. (little p)
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Pope --
Thanks for the apology, we are actually pretty much assholes around here but it's like a big bunch of siblings -- it's a little different coming from an outsider. Good to know you are not actually a crap dude.
Also, you can't be Little P because that's what I call my kid. But you can be the Pope, we don't have one of those around here yet.
Sincerely,
-- You can cal me Jayell
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Thanks. Glad to defuse a potential flame war, that I didn't intend and being a new guy and missing that you are an admin I wouldn't win at all. <grin?>.
Back to original strip -- I always like FYFridays, and this one was terrific. I don't mind Phillepe's Friday newsletters, they're much better than a normal Phillepe strip.
The Pope.
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Hey, don't back down so easily! They give you infallibility for a reason, you know.
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Thanks. Glad to defuse a potential flame war, that I didn't intend and being a new guy and missing that you are an admin I wouldn't win at all. <grin?>.
Well there wouldn't have been a flame war because JL would have banned the shit out of you, but fwiw, I took your first post as trying to be helpful and not assholish at all.
Welcome to the board little pope.
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But what says he of Molly?
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Wow, it's like freshmen at college getting scoped out to pledge a frat. "Join the Philippe haters, we have awesome keggers!" "The Molly Appreciation Society was voted Hottest TOUAMB group by the Ladies of the Board three years in a row."
The Leg Men are still waiting for our secret menu at Steak & Shake.