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Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: le_chien_manquee on October 03, 2007, 07:34:25 pm

Title: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: le_chien_manquee on October 03, 2007, 07:34:25 pm
simple.

you can look at an ass for as long as you want without getting noticed

top that, titboys.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Popegeorgeringo on October 03, 2007, 09:05:44 pm
Yeah, not if you get confused and leer at some dude's ass.  No worries with that mistake for us ta-ta tykes.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jaydub on October 03, 2007, 09:07:40 pm
No true ass-man would be so confused.  Unless, of course, that's the way he plays it.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: lprkn on October 03, 2007, 11:10:09 pm
simple.

you can look at an ass for as long as you want without getting noticed

top that, titboys.

But that's what makes staring at boobies more fun.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: theinevitable on October 03, 2007, 11:21:53 pm
in the last year or so I have been teetering wildly between the two extremes.

my current status tends towards disagreeing with you, chien. Your comment is trumped by the fact that Breasts are Awesome.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: side_show on October 04, 2007, 03:15:39 am
While cleaning the aquarium tonight the SO reached over and grabbed my boob.  I explained that vacuuming up giraffe poop is not a particularly sexy time for me.  He replied "They're just so beautiful I had to grab one to make sure they're real." 

I should also note that if you are a tit man, once you have a lady, you can stare at her boobs all you like, and occasionally fool her into thinking you are looking at an area somewhat close to her face.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: CortJstr on October 04, 2007, 03:25:17 am
While cleaning the aquarium tonight the SO reached over and grabbed my boob.  I explained that vacuuming up giraffe poop is not a particularly sexy time for me.  He replied "They're just so beautiful I had to grab one to make sure they're real." 

I should also note that if you are a tit man, once you have a lady, you can stare at her boobs all you like, and occasionally fool her into thinking you are looking at an area somewhat close to her face.

You got giraffe poop on my boobs!
You got boobs in my giraffe poop!

Aw, yeah.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 04, 2007, 04:25:42 pm
While cleaning the aquarium tonight the SO reached over and grabbed my boob.  I explained that vacuuming up giraffe poop is not a particularly sexy time for me.  He replied "They're just so beautiful I had to grab one to make sure they're real." 
I thought it was just Pedro that did things this ridiculous. 

His favorite time to grab my boobs is while I'm cooking dinner.  You know, when there's HOT OIL and SHARP KNIVES involved.  Not helpful. 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Carlos del Vaca on October 04, 2007, 04:37:10 pm
you can look at an ass for as long as you want without getting noticed

You know why a gentleman always lets the lady off the elevator first, right?
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Drygioni on October 05, 2007, 11:19:22 pm
Boobies make better pillows, and you can put your head in between them and do that PRRRRRP thing, like mum's sometimes do on their bairns tummies. Everyone should try it at least once.

I would not recommend the equivalent if you are an assman.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: CortJstr on October 05, 2007, 11:33:14 pm
Boobies make better pillows, and you can put your head in between them and do that PRRRRRP thing, like mum's sometimes do on their bairns tummies. Everyone should try it at least once.

I would not recommend the equivalent if you are an assman.

That's motorboating. And I guess that would depend on how clean the ass is.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: theinevitable on October 06, 2007, 12:08:51 am
Quote
That's motorboating. And I guess that would depend on how clean the ass is.

if that's how y'all think... I am definitely a breast man.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Turbo Ninja on October 12, 2007, 09:25:21 pm
With a chilly ass, all you get is cold ass.  With chilly breasts, you get perky nipples.  It's like God Itself wants you to notice boobs, and that's enough for me.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jaydub on October 12, 2007, 09:28:11 pm
With a chilly ass, all you get is cold ass.  With chilly breasts, you get perky nipples.  It's like God Itself wants you to notice boobs, and that's enough for me.
In my house, chilly ass means I get a clammy butt pushed into my belly late at night.  She knows not to complain when I take that as an invitation for a spankin'.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 12, 2007, 09:45:39 pm
Sometimes Pedro wants to know who put a frozen turkey in the bed with us. 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Arachno-capitalist on October 12, 2007, 09:52:27 pm
I vividly remember a physics lecture about this. The professor was never funny, always serious, and this just came out of nowhere.
"Now many people your age and older can probabbly understand surface to volume ratio thermodynamics with a very simple example. See you've got a bed (draws bed). And in the bed is a woman (draws woman). And the woman is wearing mittens (draws mittens). And socks and somewhere between 5 and 13 blankets (draws thirteen blankets). And she is still complaining about the Air conditioner. Next to the woman is a man (man). and he is laying in a puddle of his own sweat because he still feels so fuck*ng hot there is no relief. But if the woman so much touches the man, his skin feels so cold her finger will freeze to him like a flagpole in December. The problem here is surface to volume ratio."
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: theinevitable on October 12, 2007, 10:06:12 pm
man, so, I am a woman. I am the guy with 13 blankets.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: V-Adore on October 12, 2007, 10:09:12 pm
With a chilly ass, all you get is cold ass. 

There's something I find kind of poetic about this. I can't explain why.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: linnea on October 12, 2007, 10:24:15 pm
man, so, I am a woman. I am the guy with 13 blankets.

You're a skinny dude. Don't feel bad about needing extra blankets.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 12, 2007, 11:27:51 pm
I should point out that the dynamic of cold lady/hot man gets reversed when the lady is pregnant. 

Every night for about a week, I've woken Pedro at 4 AM, asking, "Are you hot?  Can I turn on the air conditioner?" 

His response every time: "No.  Go back to sleep." 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: littlefallsmets on October 12, 2007, 11:45:07 pm
If not for The Cost, I would never turn off the air conditioner, ever.

This sounds like The Only Advantage of Pregnancy.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 12, 2007, 11:48:43 pm
If not for The Cost, I would never turn off the air conditioner, ever.

This sounds like The Only Advantage of Pregnancy.

There are two advantages.  One is temperature regulation.  The other is...getting a baby at the end of it. 

But only if you swing that way. 

Oh!  It also makes ladies' boobs considerably bigger.  So I guess that's three. 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: theinevitable on October 13, 2007, 12:00:29 am
this keeps making me think of this one comedy bit which I really enjoyed...
Quote
So, I saw this ad the other day for these "boyfriend" pillows? It's basically a body with an arm, so that a woman can snuggle up against it at night. i think... I mean, it's pretty unrealistic. If you want to feel like you're sleeping with a man, just sleep with a flashlight poking you in the ass all night.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 13, 2007, 12:05:16 am
That is amusing. 

I kind of...like...the "flashlight"?  It's a little reminder that even when he's asleep, he still wants me.  Or, you know, Laetitia Casta or whoever he's dreaming of.  Or maybe he's just got a full bladder.  But I like to think it's me. 

(I mean, it's not little at all!  It's a big, huge, cocknormous reminder!  I would never say such a thing about Pedro's flashlight!  It's like one of those huge Mag-Lite flashlights!  Only bigger!) 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: CortJstr on October 13, 2007, 12:24:22 am
That is amusing. 

I kind of...like...the "flashlight"?  It's a little reminder that even when he's asleep, he still wants me.  Or, you know, Laetitia Casta or whoever he's dreaming of.  Or maybe he's just got a full bladder.  But I like to think it's me.

Maybe it's just his body circulating blood to keep his wang from suffocating. Or maybe he's dreaming about you and tI from that other thread.
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: jay-ell on October 13, 2007, 12:38:21 am
I said, I like to think it's me. 

Please don't burst my bubble with biology. 
Title: Re: one good reason why being an assman wipes the floor with being a breastman
Post by: Limmo on October 13, 2007, 01:40:58 am
Canned for inventing the term "cocknormous."