The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Carlos del Vaca on October 22, 2007, 02:06:06 pm
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Unbalanced wedding party. ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiit
(here (http://rbeef.blogspot.com/2007/10/picking-out-my-dudes.html) and here (http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2007/10/roast-beef-didnt-make-his-brother.html))
I know where Beef is coming from, though. I didn't originally have my brother in my wedding party. My mom was sort of dismayed by this, and I told her "I don't know where you've been the last thirty years, but he and I aren't exactly close." I ended up making him an usher, though, distinct from the groomsmen.
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You can't script... Blogtober!
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Lyle and Todd? The hell? I'm glad we're skipping the wedding parties and only having a best man/maid of honor.
I am surprised that Molly apparently has no friends, though. That really seems more like the situation that somebody with Beef's personality would be in.
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well, cort, if you were a succubus sent to earth to suck out one particular man's soul, you wouldn't have many friends either.
...didn't there used to be a thing where we didn't like Molly? What happened to that.
I really want there to be an arc where it seems like achewood is turning into such as A Comic about A Baby or whatever, and then it is revealed that Molly is making Beef turn all... normal... and then Ray saves him in some drastic way.
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I am surprised that Molly apparently has no friends, though.
I find that the older you get the harder it is to make new friends. So it must be really hard when you're 337 years old.
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I am surprised that Molly apparently has no friends, though.
She kind of did just come back from the dead, dude. cut the lady a break for not jumping into the social scene right out of the grave.
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She kind of did just come back from the dead, dude. cut the lady a break for not jumping into the social scene right out of the grave.
Well she's had several jobs in retail where you have actual coworkers, plus she just seems to leave the house more than Beef.
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I didn't originally have my brother in my wedding party.
How did this go over? I recently entered into an agreement to marry (the romantics call it an "engagement") and I'm having hella trouble picking out my groomsmen. My fiancee has her sister and two obvious friends, for three on her side. I have a brother, who I'm not close to at all and not planning on including, two very close friends who are definitely in and then a bunch of guys who could be my third.
I could save a ton of consternation and maternal frowning by just picking my brother instead of choosing among the four or five dudes who could be #3, but I don't know if I'm up for that kind of compromise. I'm sure my brother realizes that we're not best buds but I'm not sure how he'd feel to know his actual standing on the Groomsman Depth Chart.
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How did this go over?
I never actually told him he wasn't in the wedding party; I came up with the usher compromise before I talked to him about the arrangements. The other ushers were Mrs. del Vaca's brother, and her father and step-father, so that all looked kosher.
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If I ever get married, I'm gonna get married on a baseball diamond and so I'll have a husband's wedding party of eight plus me.
You know. To make a full team.
Part of the reason I haven't married my longtime girlfriend is that we couldn't afford to do it right anytime soon. The appeal of a small wedding is understandable? But for my purposes, I think I'd have to go full-bore or nothing at all. Married against the backdrop of a summer sunset, in the baseball park in my hometown.
Peanuts and popcorn getting passed out to the crowd. Here Comes The Bride all on a baseball pipeorgan.
Goddamned fireworks at the end, out over the mountains.
But even with eight groomsmen, man, I'd have some hard choices to make.
My brother and my college roommate, certainly, and my two eldest male cousins Richie and Ryan for sure. My two oldest friends, the Toher Brothers, who were born six days before me and we were even in the goddamn hospital nursery together, for sure. After that, man. Those last two slots would be really difficult to fill, out of my childhood and college friends and stuff. Let alone, should include my girlfriend's brother? Etc.
I wouldn't want to hurt too many feelings.
But... yeah... my girl doesn't have too many close friends so it might be harder to field a team.
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If I ever get married, I'm gonna get married on a baseball diamond and so I'll have a husband's wedding party of eight plus me.
You know. To make a full team.
Part of the reason I haven't married my longtime girlfriend is that we couldn't afford to do it right anytime soon. The appeal of a small wedding is understandable? But for my purposes, I think I'd have to go full-bore or nothing at all. Married against the backdrop of a summer sunset, in the baseball park in my hometown.
Peanuts and popcorn getting passed out to the crowd. Here Comes The Bride all on a baseball pipeorgan.
Goddamned fireworks at the end, out over the mountains.
But even with eight groomsmen, man, I'd have some hard choices to make.
My brother and my college roommate, certainly, and my two eldest male cousins Richie and Ryan for sure. My two oldest friends, the Toher Brothers, who were born six days before me and we were even in the goddamn hospital nursery together, for sure. After that, man. Those last two slots would be really difficult to fill, out of my childhood and college friends and stuff. Let alone, should include my girlfriend's brother? Etc.
I wouldn't want to hurt too many feelings.
But... yeah... my girl doesn't have too many close friends so it might be harder to field a team.
This is disturbingly close to Zart's ideal wedding. Except change all the baseball stuff to wrestling. Instead of saying "I do" like a pansy he'd let out a manly "woooo!"
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If I ever get married, I'm gonna get married on a baseball diamond and so I'll have a husband's wedding party of eight plus me.
You know. To make a full team.
But... yeah... my girl doesn't have too many close friends so it might be harder to field a team.
im going to have 14 groomsmen to field a full rugby team (in fact it would work out such that the people involved would actually be able to cover all 15 positions). My gf has already expressed dismay in this as she hates things that arent symmetrical and the pictures would look off balanced. She needs to get over it.
I've already conceded to a catholic church, but thats because they are more lenient about letting me alter small parts of the ceremony, like where everyone responds "in God's name we pray" or something like that, i want the priest to say "And most importantly, we pray today that people all over the world will understand the librety and prosperity found in free market economics and embrace the wealth creation mechanism"
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I had to scrounge bridesmaids because Pedro has three brothers and a best friend. He also felt strongly about including my brother on his side, as well -- so he had five guys total. He avoided the best-man conflict by asking his youngest brother -- who was then sixteen -- to be the best man. None of his older brothers were going to question that.
I asked his sister, my brother's wife, my cousin, my best friend (who I've known since I was seven), and my college roommate. I would have asked my high-school best friend instead of my cousin, but she was living in Europe at the time and had a ten month old baby. I didn't know if she'd be able to come to the wedding at all (she did), so I felt asking her to be a bridesmaid would have been an undue burden. Honestly, though, as long as his sister, my sister-in-law, and my best friend were included, I couldn't have cared less about anyone else. I actually felt kind of bad asking College Roommate and Younger Cousin to act as "filler." They seemed cool with it, though.
The rest of the guys -- assorted cousins, et cetera -- were ushers. I asked several of my female cousins to sing -- they have lovely voices and one of them actually sang professionally for weddings and such when she was in college, so it was perfectly appropriate. We asked our Dads to do scripture readings. My mom's oldest sister played piano and a close grade-school friend of mine played harp. My nephew was ring bearer, my niece was flower girl, and my cousin's son was the flower girl's escort. So there were a lot of people included that weren't part of the official wedding party. They all came to the rehearsal dinner and we had a nice time.
My sister-in-law, who just got married this past July, flouted tradition by asking her four brothers and the unnoffficial "sixth Dunston" (Pedro's best friend, who lived with their family for a while after high school) to stand up with her. She also had her husband's sister as maid of honor. So all told, they had six groomsmen, a maid of honor, and five "bridesmen." It was pretty cool.
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If I ever get married, I'm gonna get married on a baseball diamond and so I'll have a husband's wedding party of eight plus me.
You know. To make a full team.
Part of the reason I haven't married my longtime girlfriend is that we couldn't afford to do it right anytime soon. The appeal of a small wedding is understandable? But for my purposes, I think I'd have to go full-bore or nothing at all. Married against the backdrop of a summer sunset, in the baseball park in my hometown.
This place?
(http://www.fotolode.com/images/jaydub/05littlefallsfromcenterhd.jpg)
Beautiful scenery there.
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We just did one-and-one. My best friend and her best friend. My best friend's wife (also a grand friend) and her #2 friend did readings. We had a small wedding on the second floor of a clubhouse. She came up the stairs, I made my entrance through the elevator. I was vetoed when I wanted a smoke machine to billow fog out as the door opened. I may have been able to pull it off if I didn't want Europe's "The Final Countdown" playing as we entered too.
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Yeah, jay... some of the happiest memories of my life are there.
It's the closest thing I know to a church or ever will.
Goddamned beautiful place.
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Unbalanced wedding party. ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiit
Well here's another one of those problems of modern life that I never knew existed.
I would mention that this is because we got married by a justice of the peace in her living room and Massachusetts didn't even require us to have witnesses, but I am sure I would be repeating myself.
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How can Molly be such a sucker for tradition? She hates Showbiz. He left a huge body hair on her brand new $13 bar of Aveda soap, for Christ's sake.
Well here's another one of those problems of modern life that I never knew existed.
I would mention that this is because we got married by a justice of the peace in her living room and Massachusetts didn't even require us to have witnesses, but I am sure I would be repeating myself.
Wow! That is pretty cool. I like the idea of keeping it simple. Then again, I just went to a gorgeous wedding this weekend at Denver's Brown Palace Hotel. It was swank and hell of awesome. Then again, the bride and groom also shelled out at least $90/per person for the shindig, so there you go.
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Well, sure, there's nothing wrong with a fancy wedding that someone else is paying for and arranging and fighting over.
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And isn't that the REAL meaning of a marriage, anyway?
Passing financial responsibilities onto others?
God bless us, everyone.
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Got them back with a cash only bar.
BOO TO THAT
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BOO TO THAT
Boo to the assumption that going to a wedding means free liquor. We did a cash bar too, for the simple reason that it was either that or no bar at all - we couldn't afford to offer the booze for free. My dad ended up kicking in so we could do beer and wine for free, and that was fine for most. I got my Jack and Cokes for free since I was the one getting shackled^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H married, but the added cost of the bar was inSANE.
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Open bar for common wines and beers, cash bar for mixed drinks and high-end stuff seems like a fair compromise to me, yeah. It's what King Solomon would tell you to do... and then he'd claim your daughter for his harem.
Win-win, I say.
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My cousin had a wedding in the high-tens of ks and of naturally had an open bar. As much fliff as he was fliffing, he still had a trick, he bought the liquor by the case and used the hired caterers as the bartenders. Whatever wasn't used, he took home.
Open bar at a wedding should be a given. Cmon people.
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there is no way I will ever have enough money in my life to fund a fancy-schmancy wedding.
I mean, unless my life takes some really wacky turns. Or, you know, I get some sort of Fantasy High-Paying-Psych-Research job?
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Ah, don't kick yourself too much, inev.
Money knows no logic, money is completely arbitrary, there's no reason to it.
You can work your ass off your whole life and have nothing. Or you can be the laziest most worthless son of the bitch in the world and if you were born into it or if you won the lottery, you can be completely fuckin' rolling in it.
It's a system rigged from the start to only allow a few people to have a whole lotta money.
It's okay. It's not failing to not have money or, at least, it's as much a failure as it is to never be hit by lightning. Dumb luck.
Dumb luck or theft, the only paths to money.
A logic about finding the right lady can apply to money, too, though:
The key to is to get yourself into a place where you are happy with yourself with or without it.
Only then could it find you and find you in a positive way.
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oh, no, I am not kicking myself. I am hell of liberal and stuff, so I can convince myself pretty easily that big fancy weddings are really unnecessary and silly and all that.
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(I hear he's actually too forward as a waiter, sometimes sliding into the booth with patrons — big no-no).
At the risk of drawing the wrath of Molly-hater's, I gotta give her an Amen for this. The waiters at the Outback near my house do this. Its way off-putting, even if its a cute chickie (let alone Peter Porterhouse, the massive slab of muscular meat).
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oh, wait, waiters actually do that? Dang, that would bug me.
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Yeah, I have to agree.
"Look, man, if I wanted to acknowledge the humanity of the people bringing me my food, I'd'a eaten at home."
It sounds cold but it's just true.
Half the reason of going out to eat is the joy of not being beholden to the pleasantries of in-home eating.
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when my dad was a kid, his mom was such a bad cook that... he often wondered why restaurant food was so good. He finally decided they must have to go to chef school for a really long time to learn to make food that didn't taste like buttery cardboard.
when my parents were dating, my mom declared she was going to make dinner for his family. She found the spice rack... full of spices which had hardened into solid blocks, since they had not been used ever in the time since they were given to my grandma as a wedding present in the 40's.
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Yeah, man, the spice must flow.
THE SPICE. MUST. FLOOOOOOOOOOOW!
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speaking of which, the other day I bought stuff to make spaghetti! I am hell of excited. I bought a jar of Zia's pasta sauce (Zia's is a fantastic Italian restaurant in St Louis) and 2 boxes of "De Cecco" spaghetti (this is the kind my mom gets). Is there anything else which would make this better? i think my mom puts a little olive oil in the noodles before adding the sauce. I did not buy any parmesan because they only had big ol' things of it.
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Garlic. Red Wine. Onions and/or mushrooms.
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Garlic. Red Wine. Onions and/or mushrooms.
I have to second all of those, especially garlic and onions. Also, as far as I know, ALWAYS put salt in anything you are boiling. At least that is what one dude told me (this dude owns a restaurant, to be more clear.) I really only boil potatoes, pasta and rice, and only put salt in the pasta, but apparently that is what you are supposed to do. It stops it from lumping together?
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I really only boil potatoes, pasta and rice, and only put salt in the pasta, but apparently that is what you are supposed to do. It stops it from lumping together?
I always thought it was just to save time by lowering the boiling point. I may be mistaken. Anyone else have any clue?
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I always thought it was just to save time by lowering the boiling point. I may be mistaken. Anyone else have any clue?
I think it also allows the salt to infuse throughout whatever it is you are boiling, rather than just remaining on the surface of the boiled foodstuff. Not that big a deal with pasta, but it makes quite the difference with potatoes.
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I always thought it was just to save time by lowering the boiling point. I may be mistaken. Anyone else have any clue?
I've been told it's just for seasoning. I think the amount of salt one adds to a pot of pasta water only lowers the boiling point by like an eighth of a degree.
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I think it also allows the salt to infuse throughout whatever it is you are boiling, rather than just remaining on the surface of the boiled foodstuff. Not that big a deal with pasta, but it makes quite the difference with potatoes.
No, it really makes a big deal with pasta too. Unless you're loading so much crap on the pasta that you can't taste it anyway.
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The addition of a TBSP of oil to the boiling water keeps the pasta from clumping together. Actually cooking it the right amount of time helps too.
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The addition of oil to the water keeps the sauce from adhering to the pasta properly. If your pasta is clumping while you are cooking it, your problem is that you are not using enough water and/or letting it boil hard enough.
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As far as I've ever heard, the only advantage to adding oil is adding just a little little little bit, to break the surface tension of the water and fight boilovers and stuff like that. Only for the mechanics of cooking, not for any flavour reasons and... yeah... too much of it and you're just suffocating the pasta from being able to absorb anything else.
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Ooh man, when I was at red lobster once, the boyfriend went to the can, and the waitress, just slid into the booth next to me and started chatting it up about her day. Since she totally screwed up our order and was totally shittious, it was a really bad idea on her part. I wanted her to die.
Also, I saw a Mythbusters style show that was not Mythbusters where they showed that the salt in pasta to speed boiling & oil in pasta to prevent boil over were both not true.
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Ooh man, when I was at red lobster once, the boyfriend went to the can, and the waitress, just slid into the booth next to me and started chatting it up about her day. Since she totally screwed up our order and was totally shittious, it was a really bad idea on her part. I wanted her to die.
Also, I saw a Mythbusters style show that was not Mythbusters where they showed that the salt in pasta to speed boiling & oil in pasta to prevent boil over were both not true.
Alton did an episode called Mythsmashers with things like oil in pasta water and not washing mushrooms. On an early episode he said no oil in boiling pasta ever. But in at least two later episodes he said he was wrong before and oil is good.
Also, who doesn't wash mushrooms?
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There has been some grungy stuff on my mushrooms. Who wouldn't wash them? You can't say water is bad for fungus! I would be frightened of cooking unwashed mushrooms.
But yeah, I was going to come in here earlier and say how a teaspoon of solute, no matter what it is, is going to do basically nothing for the boiling point -- but everyone's already gotten to that. Salt to slightly season the pasta or whatever does make sense, and it's not like it hurts. But honestly, I've never seen a difference one way or another. Just stir it occasionally and keep the heat at the right temperature and you'll be making A+ pasta. I always just cook it until it has the right consistency, but some people swear by specific cooking times, and I don't understand why. Different amounts of pasta will cook differently, and even the quality of the pot can affect it.
But pasta + sauce cooking suggestions? There's a million things you can do. Try every conceivable combination of vegetables and fungi, such as onions, shallots, peppers, spinach, asparagus, zucchini, cucumbers, portobellos, etc. Fresh parsley makes so many things better, but you've got to figure the right amount. Personally, the greatest thing you can do is sautee peppers and onions in a creamy vodka sauce with radiatore pasta and a bit of cayenne. I could have that every night.
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The myth is that you're supposed to clean the mushrooms with a damp cloth because rinsing them under water will make them soggy.
Oh. Biologically speaking, that is very silly. I'm pretty sure the packers use high-pressure water sprays to knock the worst of the goo off them. Then they sit around until you buy them. Whatever bacteria you have heebie-jeebies about will spend that time booming up their population. Wiping with a damp cloth won't do much to them. And it won't do a damn thing to any chemical residues.
running them under tap water won't do much either, best not to fret too much - but buy organic if you care
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Yeah, I heard the mushroom thing on the Iron Chef mushroom battle, but it was the first I'd heard of it. We have a huge mushroom farm locally, and the smell coming off of it... let's just say they need to be washed. I tried the damp cloth method, but it just doesn't work as well, and honestly - most times I'm tossing mushrooms into a fairly moist situation, so I don't see why postponing their exposure to moisture by a few minutes makes any difference.
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Glad I wasn't the only one.
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Jesus. If mushrooms are growing down there, I'm failing at personal hygiene on a fairly basic level. Mushrooms are the least sexy of vegetables.
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I misread this and thought that this response was somehow involved in the thread about the costume of an ancient hooker.
Ain't nothing sexy about mushrooms, ain't nothin' edible about mushrooms.
Boo to mushrooms.
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I can't eat any foods that would grow on a poorly-cleaned air conditioner.
Just can't. I'll admit to the fact that it's a Totally Irrational Thing, though.
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Sauteed mushrooms are proof of the existence of god.
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What has two thumbs and loves mushrooms?
This guy.
There is a place in Virginia with wine-sauteed mushrooms that if they sold them by the pound, I'd buy them. Mmmmmmmm
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Really the only time I ate those mushrooms was sauteed with steak. I don't eat meat anymore so...
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Really the only time I ate those mushrooms was sauteed with steak. I don't eat meat anymore so...
Did they still make you throw up? I could never get my head around that part of the experience. Throwing up a steak would just compound the injustice.
Note: never did 'shrooms - I'm speaking from observational experience. Those who did, seemed always to throw up = not a good time in my book.
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Uh, those mushrooms are the straight kind. I only really like them on steak, but the vegetarian thing. It is weird that I love sauteed mushrooms on a good steak but they make me gag in nearly every way that does not include a steak.
Also, no, worthwhile mushrooms have never made me throw up, but they do make me quesy (sp?) and feel bad until they work. It is best to not mix them with other stuff in my opinion. Eat them quick then eat a fun size of your favorite candy bar followed by chugging a bit of water. Apparently if you throw up you will trip harder, but I think that is bullshit. The sky literally opened up for me last time I did them, and I didn't throw up.
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Mushrooms, making dirty air conditioners delicious.
With regards to those mushrooms. They are delicious. Grill you up a nice steak with some mushrooms and onion. But be careful, don't go back for seconds.
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I was just trying to tell jaydub that the straight kind was what I like on steak.
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Right on. Hopefully he moved to San Francisco. Actually though, in my short time there I was offered all of the common drugs except heroin. In my afternoon in Vegas (city of sin) I was only offered sex. So see, drugs aren't a sin, but sex for cash is. That is how I always felt, but now I know it is true.
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Tomorrow: Beef is rushed to the hospital with a ruptured bladder. Also, chicken.
http://raysmuckles.blogspot.com/2007/10/beefs-bachelor-party-hard-plans.html
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The cooking lesson is a very thoughtful gift.
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The cooking lesson is a very thoughtful gift.
But Beef already knows how to cook. Remember his famous roasted rooster ding-dong?
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There's hell of difference between cooking as a bachelor and cooking "food that wives like to eat."
I eat like a savage when I'm left to my own devices (half a bag of pizza rolls, microwaved chopped-ham sandwiches, cereal, anything in "quesadilla" form) but much better when I have a lady looking out for me (all meat entrees have a vegetable accompaniment, actually concerned about eating pasta for dinner four days running, not seriously considering anything frozen as a dinner option).
I know I don't have to eat pizza three times a week but I seem unable to help myself when I have a house to myself.
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There's hell of difference between cooking as a bachelor and cooking "food that wives like to eat."
I eat like a savage when I'm left to my own devices (half a bag of pizza rolls, microwaved chopped-ham sandwiches, cereal, anything in "quesadilla" form) but much better when I have a lady looking out for me (all meat entrees have a vegetable accompaniment, actually concerned about eating pasta for dinner four days running, not seriously considering anything frozen as a dinner option).
I know I don't have to eat pizza three times a week but I seem unable to help myself when I have a house to myself.
I've done that. When I'm alone I'll decide to swing by the pizza-by-the-slice place I really like that the SO hates. Then realize rationalize that since I'm going straight home anyway and a whole pizza is only a couple bucks more than 2 slices I'd be a fool not to get a whole pizza. Then I eat pizza every meal for an entire weekend.
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so we dont get any better after college? Thats depressing.
I'm currently using my coffee maker to drip hot water on a bowl of oats. Id like to think that, as men, wed learn from stuff like this.
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so we dont get any better after college? Thats depressing.
I'm currently using my coffee maker to drip hot water on a bowl of oats. Id like to think that, as men, wed learn from stuff like this.
It's just in solitude. The SO is vegetarian and I am not, so many nights we'll cook two entirely separate meals. So I'm totally used to cooking real meals from scratch just for me. But when she's not around I revert back to eating only chinese take-out and pizza rolls at really weird times.
Even if she's just working late I might decide to put off my ostrich stir-fry for another day and eat two packages of instant oatmeal with some jam instead.
We only eat decently due to guilt, is the point I'm trying to get across* here.
*Or "get acrosst" for you Pennsyltuckians out there.
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so we dont get any better after college? Thats depressing.
I'm currently using my coffee maker to drip hot water on a bowl of oats. Id like to think that, as men, wed learn from stuff like this.
I was hoping so too.
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Eating pizza three times a week doesn't have to be unhealthy. Just make it yourself. Go easy on the cheese and salami, and load that fucker up with stacks of vegetables - capsicum, onion, olives, mushrooms, whatever. When that's combined with a good tomato sauce on the base (I like to use the jars people buy for pasta - if you get a good brand they are hell of tasty) and some fresh basil on top you have a perfectly healthy meal. If you want to be even healthier, only eat a bit of it and have a salad on the side. Just because it's pizza doesn't mean it has to be dripping in grease. I eat pizza three or four times a week.
Of course, I am about 15-20 kilos overweight, so you may want to take that with a grain of salt.
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um, I made myself pasta the other day. It was delicious, but, bland. Just some noodles, and Zia's pasta sauce (Zia's is a good Italian restaurant in St Lous.) It needed some meat or something.