The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: littlefallsmets on November 12, 2007, 12:40:01 am
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11122007 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11122007)
Frankly, I would definitely not want to own my mother's cheese.
Yes, it would be disturbing that someone else was buying it on the internet?
But not nearly as disturbing as having to come into contact with it myself.
As long as I do not interact with it, I can construct a reality where it isn't. I am good at these things.
ALSO: I had to briefly look at Assbar to create this thread. I weep for the future.
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Real ebay item numbers are 12 digits in length, this one is 11. Also, it is the phone number of a person living near my girlfriend in Somerville.
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man, weird.
weird weird weird.
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Is it wrong that my favorite part of this strip is the "one panel later" gag?
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Is it wrong that my favorite part of this strip is the "one panel later" gag?
It's oh so right.
LFM, why did you have to look at assbar?
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It's oh so right.
LFM, why did you have to look at assbar?
He thought it was a fetish website about sphincters lifting barbels.
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Because I haven't made a "new strip" thread in so long that I forgot assbar existed and I assumed that clicking on the strip would give me the permalink to post into the new thread, cut-and-paste, nice and tidy.
Pretty much, I blanked on assbar existing at all and... Lordy, Lordy... it reminded me.
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More disturbing breast stuff.
Sometimes I think Onstad has anxiety related to sex stuff. The disembodied boob and this are just so... yikes.
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This strip is about ten kinds of uncomfortable.
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This strip is about ten kinds of uncomfortable.
Yeah, just imagining Ray blanking out and crying and pleading on the phone to some eBay exec just unnerves me. He even busted out "baby girl". The man is a shambles.
This is the work of Bensington Butters.
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...aaaand now i'm going to bed to start my week with this in my brain. thanks chris.
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So wait... does this lady know Ray from old times? Is she like, somehow extorting him with mom-cheese she got back in the day? Like she was his nanny back in the day, but now she runs ebay? What the hell is going on exactly? He seems to know her, know her intimately enough to have a pet name going on... or is he using "baby girl" due to panic? I just... no. Okay? I am not okay with mom-cheese extortion. That is going too far.
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So wait... does this lady know Ray from old times? Is she like, somehow extorting him with mom-cheese she got back in the day? Like she was his nanny back in the day, but now she runs ebay? What the hell is going on exactly? He seems to know her, know her intimately enough to have a pet name going on... or is he using "baby girl" due to panic? I just... no. Okay? I am not okay with mom-cheese extortion. That is going too far.
That's how I read it. She's either selling it or permitting it to be sold because of some old grudge.
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So wait... does this lady know Ray from old times? Is she like, somehow extorting him with mom-cheese she got back in the day? Like she was his nanny back in the day, but now she runs ebay? What the hell is going on exactly? He seems to know her, know her intimately enough to have a pet name going on... or is he using "baby girl" due to panic? I just... no. Okay? I am not okay with mom-cheese extortion. That is going too far.
The lady he's calling is not the seller, it is eBay's CEO, who he knows presumably because he's Ray Smuckles and Knows People. I read this as him calling in such panic that she hung up on him as being clearly drunk and/or insane today (as, for example, Dr. Andretti has been known to do (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03042005).) Having blown his shot at convincing the CEO of eBay to intervene, the wealthy cat decides his only choice is to accept fate and purchase his mother's cheese in proxy-bid auction.
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It's only going for $15.50 right now (http://cgi.ebay.com/CHEESE-MADE-FROM-THE-BREAST-MILK-OF-RAY-SMUCKLES-MOM_W0QQitemZ300171154529QQihZ020QQcategoryZ10906QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem). Clearly this is more of a principle thing.
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It's only going for $15.50 right now (http://cgi.ebay.com/CHEESE-MADE-FROM-THE-BREAST-MILK-OF-RAY-SMUCKLES-MOM_W0QQitemZ300171154529QQihZ020QQcategoryZ10906QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem). Clearly this is more of a principle thing.
Goddamn but Ray's mom could pump it out. That's a ton of milk. Maybe Fokker wasn't lying about milking cats. Someone should do an efficiency calculation for them. According to Dirty Jobs, goats are 35% more productive than cows (pound for pound). Maybe American Curls are the Jerseys of the cat world.
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Im in your Ebay, making a fool of your TOS.
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This is some pretty sick fanfic, yo.
Questions from other members : CHEESE MADE FROM THE BREAST MILK OF RAY SMUCKLES' MOM
Question & Answer Answered On
Q: I would like to see high resolution videos of Ray's mom's breast milk cheese being played with. Also, how do I know this is genuinely Ray's mom's breast milk cheese? If you have any sort of proof (confirmed DNA results, personal testimonies, etc) please send that as well. Also, what kind of vessel is the milk stored in? Many thanks! Nov-12-07
A: Hi, Video sent to your email. As for proof, I got it from a player goes by the handle Bensington Butters. He swore up and down that his father, who used to be Ray's mom's pimp back before she met Ramses Luther and became a born-again Christian, took this from the motel room fridge the morning after the last night he whored her out. She was nursing and on crack and apparently Mr. Butters Sr. could take no more of her filth and split, but not without taking the bottles of milk and at least one last sordid photo. He approached me asking if I could strain it (I'm in the feline dairy biz) so he could make a grilled cheese sandwich (he had a squeeze bottle of Hunt's all ready to go, and was very excited). I asked him a few questions about the curdly mixture and when I learned of its distinctive lineage, I paid him a modest sum for the concoction and sent him on his way to buy some Kraft singles. Apparently the jars had sat in the back of Butters' dad's own icebox for the past three decades; Butters had pilfered them that evening with the explicit intent of having a late night snack of grilled cheese and ketchup. The product will be delivered to the winning bidder in small glass jars. Let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks for your interest.
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yeah, damn, that is not really quality.
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Most unnerving fanfiction ever?
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So wait, did someone who knows ray personally start this auction to mess with him, or is he still a famous pianist?
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It's only going for $15.50 right now (http://cgi.ebay.com/CHEESE-MADE-FROM-THE-BREAST-MILK-OF-RAY-SMUCKLES-MOM_W0QQitemZ300171154529QQihZ020QQcategoryZ10906QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem). Clearly this is more of a principle thing.
The auction has been removed by ebay. The tomfoolery has ended.
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So what the hell...was this a one-off or is Dornheim going to have something to do with this whole situation even though it's not his mother?