The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Dexter on November 30, 2007, 09:26:33 pm
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11302007
Observations: Onstad's Garfield is kinda creepy-looking, and I wonder whether this isn't courting a lawsuit.
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The actual mechanics of wearing prostethic devices in a comic strip are so much more difficult than you'd think.
Though... where's Garfield's lisp? I remember him having a lazy drugged-out John Waters-on-'ludes lisp, y'all.
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That was just because he had a cold peter in his mouth (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05222003) at the time.
The great thing about this strip is that Achewood Garfield isn't just a crude parody; there is a very distinctly Achewood kind of vibe to him. His explanation about the strip eyes is almost as surreal as "Put on these shoes, and have legs like mine."
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Wow. Garfield is borderline retarded. Either that, or he's high as a kite.
This is a great strip. I love the creepy surreal-ness that it has. The cartoon eyes and Garfield's coked-out/retarded observations regarding them are just classic. However, I don't understand how richness gives one ##### with comma-pockets. WHOOSH
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"He is so rich that his pockets are made of commas" made this strip for me.
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Wait, I have one more question. What the hell does the union have to do with dildoed coffee?
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Dude has so much money that the comma from his millions are spilling out onto his breeches.
Dude can't be seen with a dildo. He's got an image to maintain and the Achingly Inoffense Cartoon Performers' Union keeps tight reins on their member actors, keeps them in line and keeps them earning large dollars.
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Whaaaaat? Garfield is shredded. Abs like Pat's.
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It's all for show, you see.
Garfield is thin, he just puts on a fat costume to play a role in a show.
Tom Cruise is a 5'3" gay man who believes that our souls were put in a volcano and then nuked by an alien overlord ten bazillion years ago and that's why we're all unhappy... and he plays a dashing clever athletic straight action star on teevee because that's where the bread is at. If he could own fifteen mansions by making out with Vin Diesel and scanning tourists for thetans, man, he'd happily go that way.
This is how it is. This is the show biz.
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How much I like this strip? Thiiiiis muuuuuch. Genius stroke to have Garfield showing up (the "Achewood Garfield", as already pointed out, all borderline broke, or warped in a way), and to draw a pocket out of commas just because, I guess. Part I hate is having to wait 'til Monday to catch up on it.
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I like that under his fake comic eyes, Garfield has comic-strip-style eyes of a different style. He's been hiding Pac-Men all these years.
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See guys, I told you, Unions are straight up fuck*ng everyone out of dildoeing their coffee.
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All A-CAP wants is a dildo in his Cafe Americano people. Give the man his dildo. There is no mystery here. We all know what he'll be doing to it afterword. His ass is totally wrecked. Bowel movements just tumble out like marbles in an old-timey marble maze game. But noooo. The union has to deny the obvious. A-CAP likes a 12 by 4 dildo - with his coffee and in his can. Get use to it. Step back. Give the man what he wants.
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Garfield exists in the Achewood universe. This… this is a major development.
I mean, obviously there was the one where Ray crank calls Garfield, but somehow, this is different.
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All A-CAP wants in a dildo in his Cafe Americano people. Give the man his dildo. There is no mystery here. We all know what he'll be doing to it afterword. His ass is totally wrecked. Bowel movements just tumble out like marbles in an old-timey marble maze game. But noooo. The union has to deny the obvious. A-CAP likes a 12 by 4 dildo - with his coffee and in his can. Get use to it. Step back. Give the man what he wants.
Dildo'd!
Uh, I mean, can'd!
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Where exactly is this coffee stand? Out on the beach?
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All A-CAP wants in a dildo in his Cafe Americano people. Give the man his dildo. There is no mystery here. We all know what he'll be doing to it afterword. His ass is totally wrecked. Bowel movements just tumble out like marbles in an old-timey marble maze game. But noooo. The union has to deny the obvious. A-CAP likes a 12 by 4 dildo - with his coffee and in his can. Get use to it. Step back. Give the man what he wants.
Dildo'd!
Uh, I mean, can'd!
V, I second that emotion. Mel, your posts make me laugh like a crazed hyena. Effing brilliant.
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I cann'd SS but surely that's a bit below the belt... arachnocapitalist wouldn't stoop to the cafe americano, surely?
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I cann'd SS but surely that's a bit below the belt... arachnocapitalist wouldn't stoop to the cafe americano, surely?
And what exactly is wrong with cafe americano?
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It's... espresso with water in it so that it's basically normal coffee again.
I mean if you like it, that's fine, I'm not judgin' but...
Why not get normal coffee if you want normal coffee?
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But espresso with a little water in it does not taste like normal coffee.
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Neither does coffee with a dildo in it.
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Every Americano I've ever tasted... tastes like strong coffee.
Perhaps at a really good full-on actual cafe there's a difference? I've never tried an Americano at an upscale legitimate Euro-style beanery...
But at Coffee Beans and Starbucks and stuff? Tastes like strong coffee to me.
Also, chewy has been can'd for bringing the funny. Her cat icon was not harmed in the canning.
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I really want to know what the kind of coffee is that I like. I had it in Italy, and I have been told that that means that it was Espresso. Which... if I had drank that much espresso at one time, I think I would have died. I had something which reminded me of it again at a neighbor's house over Thanksgiving break, and she just said it was coffee. It was not bitter, and adding just a little bit of cream and sugar made it the greatest thing I have ever tasted.
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I really want to know what the kind of coffee is that I like. I had it in Italy, and I have been told that that means that it was Espresso. Which... if I had drank that much espresso at one time, I think I would have died. I had something which reminded me of it again at a neighbor's house over Thanksgiving break, and she just said it was coffee. It was not bitter, and adding just a little bit of cream and sugar made it the greatest thing I have ever tasted.
It was probably cafe americano or cappucino. These are the common non-espresso coffees in Italy. My favorite italian coffee: cafe correcto - coffee with cognac
All A-CAP wants in a dildo in his Cafe Americano people. Give the man his dildo. There is no mystery here. We all know what he'll be doing to it afterword. His ass is totally wrecked. Bowel movements just tumble out like marbles in an old-timey marble maze game. But noooo. The union has to deny the obvious. A-CAP likes a 12 by 4 dildo - with his coffee and in his can. Get use to it. Step back. Give the man what he wants.
Yea thats me, you guys know me too well, Hee haw! I sure do love me some autoerotic anal sex, man I have said so many times how much I love that stuff, it is certainly the thing.
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damn, dude, I am totally going to tell Clay to tell all your frat brothers that you admitted to loving self-dildoing on the internet.
He will totally believe it, too, you know? He will probably get them all to buy dildos for you for when you return.
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I too used to scoff at the Cafe Americano. Then in Alaska one of my friends brought me one of the most heavenly drinks I have ever tasted. It was an Americano with cream and sugar. I haven't gotten another because I'm afraid that it will never be as good, but I might have to try it again. A dash of half-and-half (20c per tablespoon) and 2 packets of sugar (20c per packet) in an Americano (Starbucks lists a plain "grande" 16 oz. Americano as having 15 calories, wtf) is a better caloric bargain than a 16 oz. nonfat mocha (220 calories). If you get 2% in that mocha, you're looking at 330 calories. I don't understand how you get 15 calories in 2 shots of espresso, but I guess those little dudes have more macronutrients than I thought.
You could also get coffee instead of an Americano or espresso drink, but I think that the espresso has a much better flavor than brewed coffee. I don't know why.
I apologize if the calorie thing pissed anybody off, but I'm trying to get back on the Hacker's Diet (http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/) wagon, so please wish me luck.
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Yea thats me, you guys know me too well, Hee haw! I sure do love me some autoerotic anal sex, man I have said so many times how much I love that stuff, it is certainly the thing.
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
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Yea thats me, you guys know me too well, Hee haw! I sure do love me some autoerotic anal sex, man I have said so many times how much I love that stuff, it is certainly the thing.
Oh, come on now - I didn't post that to make you all sarcastic-y! When someone makes an allusion to an old-timey marble maze, you can be sure they are likely yanking your chain. I was hoping you would bring some sparkling humour to talking about the type of dildo-coffee-sex things I would do... you missed a quality opportunity here. I open the door, and you try to go through the window. Seriously dude, do you come here to have fun or to be victimized? As my psychiatrist has so clearly pointed out to me, one choses to be a victim.
Also, to those who scoff at the Americano, I mentioned it because it is hella' sophisticated in my books. Since I only spend time in legitimate cafe's not chain places, I can stay without a doubt that the Americano is a for-real thing, not like a coffee that has only trace coffee in it under a foot of whipped cream and caramel lattice. A quality Americano, straight up, with hella sugar, or with cream and hella sugar is so fine. It is the real deal. I can't drink coffee anymore due to my horrible allergy to it, but that was my favorite coffee before it went off limits. Quality.
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Ok, I'll admit it: I lashed out at the Americano. In ignorance, maybe in anger.
I've never actually seen an americano in real life but all descriptions just sound like... a ruined espresso I guess.
Lore (http://www.bookofratings.com/coffeedrinks.html) may not be entirely innocent in this matter.
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a coffee that has only trace coffee in it under a foot of whipped cream and caramel lattice
I will admit that this is my preferred coffee, but that's also why I generally order hot chocolate.
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yeah, man. Hot Chocolate or Chai, represent.
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I can't stand coffee, of any kind, of any flavor, of any temperature. But when it's cold outside, I will partake of the hot chocolate. My favorite is hot chocolate with a shot of mint in it. Is so nice.
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I cant stand hot coffee. When I make coffee I use a bold high octane bean from SBUX or DND and grind that sucker into sand for maximum surface area and caffeine release. boil, pour over ice. I dont understand why people drink boiling hot coffee or why it is served that way in restaurants. One sip and you can't taste anything for a week.
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I can't stand coffee, of any kind, of any flavor, of any temperature. But when it's cold outside, I will partake of the hot chocolate. My favorite is hot chocolate with a shot of mint in it. Is so nice.
QFT. And coffee breath is horrific.
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QFT. And coffee breath is horrific.
Oh god, I dated a chick once with a coffee habit. And she couldn't afford *$, so she just drank up the Maxwell House, etc. Terrible.
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Ok, I'll admit it: I lashed out at the Americano. In ignorance, maybe in anger.
I've never actually seen an americano in real life but all descriptions just sound like... a ruined espresso I guess.
Lore (http://www.bookofratings.com/coffeedrinks.html) may not be entirely innocent in this matter.
Well, no - steam is better at getting the flavour out of coffee beans without the bitterness than plain hot water (even boiling hot water). You then add hot water to the espresso to stretch the flavors out and appreciate all the subtleties that whatever fancy ##### beans you've got may have to offer. A well prepared Americano will have a naturally occuring foam at the top called crema by those who know such things. It consists mostly of long chain carbohydrates and probably has some of the 15 calories that Linnea was wondering about (the rest will be in solution - I don't think scraping the crema off will cut the calories much further). You may then go on to ruin the coffee with milk and sugar if you're so inclined.
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I can hardly ever drink coffee or most caffeinated bev because it makes me hella twitchy. And then it makes The Insomnia unbearable, even if I drink it in the morning. However, when I drink coffee it's almost always black. The exception is for drinks made with espresso.
But you're right, coffee breath is terrible.
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Wait a second, I'm starting to get the feeling an Americano is what is referred to as a 'Long Black' over here, which is my go-to coffee drink. I shall report back after investigating further.
Edit: Wikipedia informs that a long black is like an Americano but with two shots instead of one and the water added first to preserve the crema. My world has been turned upside down but at least the slight difference allows me to preserve some coffee elitism.
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Ah, I dunno. I love coffee and everything about it. If I had the time and the money, I'd drink a pot and a half every morning. You can't beat a cuppa simple drip joe from beans ground seconds before the dripping but... if you gotta go fancy?
I dig what some people call a Quadruple-Red-Eye but I prefer to call a Zombie Woof.
Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.
Three of those and you're in a nice little place of heart palpitations and paranoid realizations that I get all my best ideas from, that I like to call The Heart of The Storm.
It is the exact opposite of meditating.
If living is watching a movie and meditating is focusing on the beauty of a single frame, The Heart of The Storm is being thrown naked into a snowbank and having whole movies of film thrown at you from all directions, in cut-up frames, in loose spools, the occasional entire reels just to keep you on your toes.
It is probably all of the best parts of being dissociatively insane, the weird connections finally made, the feeling of your consciousness separating into a cloud of tiny bees... bees that are all pissed as hell as each other... and feeling yourself win and lose the microscopic battle within you at the same time.
Oh man. Is so good.
And you get to come back!
Zombie Woof. Seriously.
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I like the smell of coffee brewing but the taste is no good in my books. Mark me in the "chai or hot chocolate" camp.
(Not the kind of chai latte whatever mess that is basically like drinking dessert, though. Just.. chai.)
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I make myself a nice Chai Latte with our fancy-does-everything coffee machine. I make it the same way every time, but last time - because of a problem? - the steam valve caused a Chai explosion so that there was frothy Chai everywhere including on my face and glasses and on the cat. The cat looked hella insulted, tried to clean herself, got a taste of the Chai, shuddered and walked away in disgust. I can see why a dildo might be better at doing the job, because the steam valve was like a hot, slightly burning cum shot situation. So nasty.
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I'm a big fan of a little drink called the "High Systolic." See, it's got -- ahh, nevermind.
Actually, I used to drink a lot of coffee, but now I've cut back considerably. In that fun window of time after college but before full-time employment, I was drinking about three cups every morning and crashing like the Hindenburg by 2. I guess I had nothing better to do. Now I'll have a cup of joe in the morning and a sometimes a cup of tea in the afternoon and that's it. Rarely do I drink coffee on the weekends.
And for what it's worth, I'm from Seattle -- the most ridiculously stereotyped city in the world when it comes to caffeine. Now that I live in the Bay Area and see everyone's caffeine habit down here, I can tell you that particular myth about the Emerald City being especially wired is yet another load of bullshit that can be added to the old Bullshit Truck. This particular truck of myths includes everyone loving Nirvana (I fuck*ng hate them), and the fact that it rains every second of the year (the total rainfall is less than New York, people!).
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I dig what some people call a Quadruple-Red-Eye but I prefer to call a Zombie Woof.
Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.
Three of those and you're in a nice little place of heart palpitations and paranoid realizations that I get all my best ideas from, that I like to call The Heart of The Storm.
Jesus Christ! Wouldn't meth be easier and cheaper?
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Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.
Seeing as a small cup of strong black tea gives me jitters so bad I can barely hold a pencil, I can only imagine the effects of the Zombie Woof upon my system (probably nausea and death by tachycardia, as well as strong doubts about proper grammar).
I'm sticking with my morning mug of weak green tea.