The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Formica on February 11, 2008, 08:54:02 pm
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There's many different kinds of Earl Grey. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112008) I would expect Cornelius to know this, though it may be that he simply doesn't care for Earl Grey in general.
How to tell if tea is ass:
1. Is it in a teabag? It is ass.
2. Is it loose? It might be ass or it might not, you should drink it and find out.
Tea is my poorly thought out substitute habit for cigarettes. I've had an awful lot of tea in the last four months.
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Thanks a whole lot, Mr Bear. What am I going to drink next time I go to a Chinese restaurant, now?
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Thanks a whole lot, Mr Bear. What am I going to drink next time I go to a Chinese restaurant, now?
You, through the internet, just triggered a series of events that will end with me full of general Tsos chicken, tonight.
I dig on Twinings earl grey.
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Thanks, A-Cap, that's probably my most concrete accomplishment for the whole day.
But seriously. I am a serious tea drinker, but I have always been content with whatever lame beverage they served me with Chinese food, and now... I will never be able to forget that sentence. Arrgh.
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I had a cup of chai tea last night at about 7. I couldn't fall asleep until 2. Somehow I am immune to coffee caffeine at this point, but tea caffeine still does a number on me. I dungetit.
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I dig on Twinings earl grey.
I agree with A-CAP.
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I agree with acap too.
Also, I can smoke like 3 cigarettes right before bed but if I have caffeine after like 3 pm I will be up all night, for real.
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Thanks a whole lot, Mr Bear. What am I going to drink next time I go to a Chinese restaurant, now?
Ask for a potful of "glass tea" (just regular hot water) and bask in your ultimate display of Chinese-ness.
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Those chai tea mixes, if that's what you had, are so sweet that what's keeping you awake might be the rush of like a half cup of sugar.
Bringing together sweet drinks and Chinese food: Coke is good with dim sum. I tried this because I saw a lot of Chinese people doing it, and it's the same way Coke is good with, like burgers and fries - cuts the grease, or something.
But it's not what I want with Chinese dinner food. But hot water... now that's a little too far in the other direction.
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For me a light beer is the ultimate companion to chinese food. The light sparkling nature of a crisp cold beer tends to cut at the over all oily feeling of chinese food sauces.
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wait, tea in a bag is bad?
...really? how do you make it, then?
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wait, tea in a bag is bad?
...really? how do you make it, then?
You buy loose tea and put it in a tea pot. Then you hold a tea strainer over each glass as you pour. The tea they put in bags are the little tiny flecks and dust leftover after they package the good bits as loose tea. It has to be in the bags because it's smaller than the holes in a metal strainer.
Of course I hate tea almost as much as I hate coffee.
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You could use a tea ball.
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I've never drunk anything with my ass! My ass usually expels rather than imbibes.
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Come on, people... 15 posts without a teabag joke? We're better than this.
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This is the closest I have:
So there's these two swagmen wandering around the Outback. They haven't seen another person for quite some time, and their supplies are starting to get quite low, when one evening they come to the outskirts of a small town. Well, calling it a town isn't really accurate - it's more a loose collection of a few sheds and run-down houses, with a sign saying "Welcome to Mercy. Population - 7." The two swaggies walk down the main (and only) street, and see that one of the larger buildings has a sign proclaiming "Mercy Hotel".
They enter the hotel, which is mostly old and dusty. There's an old dusty man asleep on an old dusty chair in the corner. The swaggies walk up to the bar (which unsurprisingly is both dusty and old) and sit down. After a few minutes, a large woman in an apron walks out behind the bar.
"Yis?"
"G'day love. We were just passing through, and thought we might buy a couple of beers to wash the dust of the road from our throats."
"We don't have any beer."
"Oh. Well, what have you got?"
The woman points to a small blackboard perched at the end of the bar. On it is written "Drinks menu: Koala tea".
The two swaggies glance at each other, and then one says "Well then, two mugs of koala tea, if you don't mind." The woman nods, and bustles off into the kitchen. When she returns a few minutes later, the swaggies can't believe their eyes. She's carrying a gently steaming billy, with a pair of fluffy ears poking pathetically out of the top, and two claws grasping the edge of the can. Now, the swaggies have seen some pretty bad things in their time on the road, but never anything as grim as this. They both spring to their feet, and beg her to take away the tea and strain it. At this, the woman draws herself up haughtily, and declares "I'm afraid that I can't do that...
...the koala tea of Mercy is not strained!"
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Swagman?
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Oball gets canned for telling a joke I haven't heard since I was 12.
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Swagman?
Yea, they walk around convention centers bagging logo t-shirts and pens that light up when you click them.
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They're saying "Boo-urns".
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You know, I remember when a pun of that caliber would get you on Double-Secret Probation.
Still, thank you for giving me the awkward pre-adolescent chuckles.
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Well hell. Now I've got to go read Merchant of Venice again.
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one of my favorite adult-but-not-in-a-sexy-way games is to go to the health food store and blend my own teas from various herbs. i still get a kick out of putting rose hips and hibiscus in with my "real" tea. (ooh my goawd there's flowers in it!) but yeah. and it's always a good excuse to flirt/discuss shit/medicinal such-and-such with the hippie ladies. or hippie dudes if you are into that. but it's cheaper and stronger (fresher) than anything in a bag in a box on the back of whatever shelf you're perusing. but hey it's almost (two months?) garden time! you could be planting all types of tea-stuffs!
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you could be planting all types of tea-stuffs!
Like Coca bushes! Talk about some stimulating tea, that stuff is On Point.
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oh man, Asheville.
Bea, have you been to the little Cup-Cake place in downtown asheville? It is right by... a big obelisk? it's in a little corner shop, with just 2 tables. Delicious. I got hot cider there and it was heavenly. Also, we sat at a the table with a cute girl who worked at some restaurant nearby, so I was pretty happy.
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Come on, people... 15 posts without a teabag joke? We're better than this.
Or we were until 1:53 AM, at least.
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Come on, people... 15 posts without a teabag joke? We're better than this.
If only Neal Pollack was a member here.
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When I went to India I was really psyched about having some delicious tea with everything. I figured the British stayed in India for hell of a long time due to delicious tea so it's got to be all over the place, like lobsters in Maine or lamb in New Zealand.
I was disappointed to learn that generally in India the default tea in hotels and restaurants is...bags of Tetley.
A few days into my trip I read a newspaper column lamenting the state of tea in India. The imperial Brits basically ruined it for the natives by exporting all the good stuff and leaving the bitter rejects, which led to the creation of things like chai or masala tea out of the need to cover up the Hunts-quality leaves they were given. Now good tea is more readily available but Indians don't drink it because they associate it with the ugliness of English rule (this is the same reason Americans hate soccer).
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I thought we hated soccer because we can't appreciate the defensive brilliance of a nil-nil tie.
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I thought we hated soccer because we can't appreciate the defensive brilliance of a nil-nil tie.
Ah - that'd explain why the announcers always sound so excited after each goal.
Something I just noticed - note Connie's phrasing: "The tea Americans are served at Chinese restaurants isn't fit for an enema bulb."
Not "The tea at Chinese restaurants in America..." but "The tea Americans are served at Chinese restaurants..."
He's saying that all Chinese restaurants have the good stuff, but don't bust it out for the average round-eyed, coffee-addled savage. They hang onto it so it'll be appreciated by someone who isn't entirely ignorant of the world of tea - for themselves.
I've always thought the default Oolong at your average local Chinese restaurant was pretty good. How do I convince them to fetch the real tea?
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Real tea is only served at super special teahouses where they have teeny teapots made of purple clay, mini cups (one for smelling only!), and little bowls full of hot(ter than the sun) water. Contact your local old Chinese man for more information on real tea.
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Tea you wouldn't "drink" with your ass FTW this week. That's some funny stuff.
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Real tea is only served at super special teahouses where they have teeny teapots made of purple clay, mini cups (one for smelling only!), and little bowls full of hot(ter than the sun) water. Contact your local old Chinese man for more information on real tea.
Man, if I knew where to find my local old Chinese man, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd be simultaneously absorbing his ancient Eastern wisdom and drinking his kick-ass tea.
As it stands, though, I just got 200 bags of Bentley's Earl Grey for Valentine's Day. Maybe it's ass, but it's a far sight better than Lipton Brisk from an aluminum can.
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Loose tea leaves, people! Try starting here. (http://uptontea.com/shopcart/home.asp)
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What in the hell are you people talking about? Tea is the sugary stuff that comes out of the spiggot next to the Ice and the different colors of Coke.
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What in the hell are you people talking about? Tea is the sugary stuff that comes out of the spiggot next to the Ice and the different colors of Coke.
Yeah, and it's almost always raspberry-flavored!