The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
The Wide World of Webcomics => Not Daisy Owl => Topic started by: littlefallsmets on November 17, 2009, 10:46:05 pm
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Is there some sort of analogue to "Comics Crumudgeon" for web-comics?
I mean, I'm sure there are, like, fifty if I looked, but are there any that are actually GOOD?
If not... one such thing could crawl out of the primordial ooze of this thread.
You people KNOW this shit.
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Is there some sort of analogue to "Comics Crumudgeon" for web-comics?
I mean, I'm sure there are, like, fifty if I looked, but are there any that are actually GOOD?
If not... one such thing could crawl out of the primordial ooze of this thread.
You people KNOW this shit.
There was "Your Webcomic is Bad and you should Feel Bad", but whoever wrote that stopped updating it a while ago, and apparently it's gone now. Not on the Wayback Machine, either.
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There's the Daily Comics Review, which covers web and print comics, but it's rarely all that funny.
I'd been thinking of doing something like that for a while, but I am basically a Teodor about this stuff, so.
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Should we do this, though?
Should we make this happen?
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Should we do this, though?
I would like to see it happen if that's what you are asking.
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Can anyone come up with a better name than the Webcomics Webcurmudgeon because if not I'm kind of stuck here
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My blush response was "Flash in the Panel" which, like the B-Sharps, is mildly clever upon first-hearing and more and more annoying upon further consideration.
Some kind of pun on the socialized-medicine myth of "Death Panels" but it is almost an antiquated reference NOW, let alone in a couple of months.
Most likely some kind of reference to the Achewood strip about how 99.9% of webcomics are horrible exercises in niche-interest and/or fetish and/or self-insert narcissism would probably be appropriate.
"poorlyconveyed.com" or "sopoorlyconveyed.com" or something like that. Use the last panel of that strip in the mast-head, perhaps.
"Asshole Gamers on Shitty Couches" is a little too wordy and a little too on-the-nose but I like the general statement.
ALSO: if I ever get around to trying to do a web-comic, please do not make fun of me, my self-esteem is a whisp wrapped inside a figment sandwiched between two slices of soap bubbles.
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I like everyone of these suggestions.
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Don't worry, I both don't and can't read enough bafflingly poor comics to make the format work.
Unless more people are willing to step up to the plate I don't expect anything to come of this. If people do want to do this, we should do a test drive thread for a while first.
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What? Who made this a thread? Damn it. Okay, I'll go first but not second.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/20qx2ea.gif)
Rayne is fired.
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So that's one of those strips where a sad little man's author-avatar is a Complete Goddamned Ladies' Man?
Huh.
I mean, that's kinda pathetic but at least he's REACHING for something with his self-fan-fiction.
It is more respectable than a guy who plays too many video games or role playing games imagining himself as a dude who creates video games or reviews role-playing games with a snarky friend and possibly a talking panda bear or talking dog who also plays video games or role-playing games.
At least he yearns to bed plump women, you know, and does not simply yearn to play games as his job and from a position of authority.
(I hate PvP so much.)
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Oh jesus, littlefallsmets. I don't think you realize how deep this runs.
I don't know if anything will top the storyline where his author-avatar saves newspapers, or the week where his author-avatar gives a TED talk, but if this thread is still active when something does I'll be sure to let you know.
This thread might actually be a terrible idea, though. Penny and Aggie would have been a reliable source of material back when I originally thought to do this, but it hasn't been completely insane in months.
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I haven't read Comics Curmudgeon in ages, but what I remember about it was, it somehow made you actually WANT to read bad comics. I was actually sad when my paper cancelled Mary Worth, because I no longer got to enjoy its awfulness.
That has got to be a hard thing to pull off. Also, I am not sure if making people regret the cancellation of Mary Worth is a service to society.
On the other hand I feel this is worth doing because a blog with the tagline "your activities are so poorly conveyed" is a really good idea.
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So that's one of those strips where a sad little man's author-avatar is a Complete Goddamned Ladies' Man?
Huh.
I mean, that's kinda pathetic but at least he's REACHING for something with his self-fan-fiction.
It is more respectable than a guy who plays too many video games or role playing games imagining himself as a dude who creates video games or reviews role-playing games with a snarky friend and possibly a talking panda bear or talking dog who also plays video games or role-playing games.
At least he yearns to bed plump women, you know, and does not simply yearn to play games as his job and from a position of authority.
(I hate PvP so much.)
lfm has given me an idea here, Chump Change. Don't do a blog about bad webcomics - do a bad webcomic about a guy who writes a blog about bad webcomics with a snarky friend and a talking wolverine who also blogs about bad webcomics.
I would do it myself, but I can't draw well enough to imitate bad webcomic art.
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lfm has given me an idea here, Chump Change. Don't do a blog about bad webcomics - do a bad webcomic about a guy who writes a blog about bad webcomics with a snarky friend and a talking wolverine who also blogs about bad webcomics.
I would do it myself, but I can't draw well enough to imitate bad webcomic art.
Victoria is really pulling for that "Best Stealth Poster" award.
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I haven't read Comics Curmudgeon in ages, but what I remember about it was, it somehow made you actually WANT to read bad comics. I was actually sad when my paper cancelled Mary Worth, because I no longer got to enjoy its awfulness.
That has got to be a hard thing to pull off. Also, I am not sure if making people regret the cancellation of Mary Worth is a service to society.
On the other hand I feel this is worth doing because a blog with the tagline "your activities are so poorly conveyed" is a really good idea.
The thing is, most newspaper comics exist in a bubble of cultural irrelevance, syndicate branding-induced stagnation, ridiculous production schedules, and whatever it is bubbles are made of. Soap? They're old, change-retardant, and usually phoning it in. Ample mock fodder, sure, but it's also not hard to build a genuine affection for these comics.
Even when webcomics are that divorced from reality, they just aren't the same.
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"sopoorlyconveyed.com"
Yes. This.
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The thing about Comics Curmudgeon is it is mocking comics that everyone knows. You can't just pick on some bad webcomic that 1/2 dozen people have ever read, you have to take on the heavyweights. That's a bit tougher than CC job because as Chump Change accurately pointed out those syndicated comics are pretty universally awful and the more popular web comics aren't. Still there is something to mock in all of them even our beloved Achewood.
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Also, most webcomics don't update often enough to provide material on a regular basis. I'm talking about both quantity and quality here.
Seven self-contained gags a week? You've got to slip up sometime. Telling a story three panels a day? No you're not.
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Requesting topic title change to "Chump Change Does Not Try to create a Comics Curmudgeonlike snark blog about Web Comics"
(http://i45.tinypic.com/2hnt820.gif)
"This is the Rayne? The wacky libidinous ladies' manchild you're always going on about? What were the odds?"
Look at Holly's little thinky face from yesterday's strip:
(http://i47.tinypic.com/1rs1gg.gif)
How common is the name Rayne, anyway? Based on statistics (http://www.gpeters.com/names/baby-names.php?name=Rayne), for the last two years Holly assumed the Rayne was a loony lesbian who constantly evades charges of workplace sexual harassment by threatening to sue for discrimination.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/1eotd.gif)
I know we're never supposed to see Yehuda's eyes, but would it have been so hard, Rick Smith, to draw a mess of hair? It wouldn't have to be a final design - no one's hair looks the same while they sleep - and the fans would have gotten a good laugh and moved on. I'm distracted from the joke (which is actually kind of adorable) by wondering just what is going on here. Is it grafted to his head? Is it some kind of protective membrane? Was it Yehuda's one giant pupilless eyeball all along?
See what you've done?
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I was introduced to "Least I could Do" today.
The "Pat Pat" comic was linked on another message board's thread with the text "I love this comic. This guy should be making movies or something he's fuck*ng hilarious."
This comic is like Marmaduke. Instead of every punchline being "This is a big fuck*ng dog", the punchline is "Man, Rayne (FYI: ME) is SO AWESOME! (I am!)"
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It seems to take the metafictional notion of "self-insert" quite literally.
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Good work Chumpy!
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(http://i47.tinypic.com/34nshv9.png) (http://www.thatsinhuman.com/comic.php?comicID=57)
I have nothing against Ty Halley. I like Ty Halley. I just think he could use a writer. Or an editor. Or the knowledge that text in a comic takes up space and a cartoonist needs to budget for that space when laying out panels. Preferably all three!
Still, at least he didn't use even more text explaining how Karloff was mangled and bent like that. Or where he got his new giant robocrotch. Or why a robot and a zombie use a kitchen.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/2meybus.gif) (http://www.yehudamoon.com/index.php?date=2009-11-20)
See, if you cut down on text you'll have more room for the real focal points of the strip: pieces of bikes! On top of speech bubbles! Tiny, unreadable exposition can be wedged between the front wheel and the pedals.
Panel three lends powerful support to the "Yehuda is blind" theory. Either that or nothing says friendly and local like a snapshot of that guy's torso.
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I'm loving these updates.
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Oh god. "Least I Could Do" is even worse than fuck*ng PvP. Every douchey panel of that comic makes me want to stab that fucktard "Rayne" in the face.
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Worse than PvP... wow.
Are harshest words.
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Suggestion: put the comic title and date (if different from your post date) above each picture like CC does.
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Worse than PvP... wow.
Are harshest words.
PVP is pretty fuck*ng bad. Tiny can.
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There are obviously much worse things than PvP out there, but if I didn't cave easily to peer pressure we wouldn't have this thread. And so, by popular demand, Player Vs. Player.
(http://i49.tinypic.com/10r4n7s.png) (http://www.pvponline.com/2009/11/16/the-incident-part-one/)
This was last week's strip, the start of a week-long storyline about unconscious Cole and his banana-boner. Over the next two strips, three old women see Cole's banana-boner and have heart attacks. Do they die? Probably!
Take a look for yourself:
(http://i47.tinypic.com/2e0pikg.png) (http://www.pvponline.com/2009/11/19/the-incident-part-four/)
I'm more concerned with whatever the heck is going on in Thursday's fourth panel. How is the banana-boner staying erect? Fused to his #####? Rarely seen third arm? Actual boner?
I guess it's perfectly legal to sign things for unconscious people, since the police officer is standing right there. Good to know!
(http://i46.tinypic.com/i3f1qh.jpg) (http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20091123)
Really, Least I could Do? Five stars? That's not even the Youtube interface. You made up your own Youtube interface for this comic because it was important to give your fictional surrogate the fictional approval of the fictional Youtube masses. Those aren't even couplets. Poetic verse needs rhythm and meter and argh argh argh
Damn it, Fictional Youtube.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/1vouo.gif) (http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=3366)
Damn it, Tatsuya Ishida. I want to snark Sinfest, but it's been all but unimpeachable these last two weeks. "I am Doctor Love!" (which neither has nor needs appropriate context) is probably single the funniest thing in updates today.
Hopefully we'll be back to nonpunchlines soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
edit: Looks like I triggered the filters again. It's probably funnier this way.
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(http://i46.tinypic.com/i3f1qh.jpg) (http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20091123)
It is just me, or does he look like Captain Planet in that first panel?
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Mind you, Captain Planet probably wouldn't bugger his cat and write a poem about it.
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There are obviously much worse things than PvP out there, but if I didn't cave easily to peer pressure we wouldn't have this thread.
You know, this is the first time I've ever heard of this comic. I can see how it could be terrible and I'm sure for people who've been aware of it for awhile there are probably a ton of built up hatreds and I understand that. But in all fairness I have to say that the basic gag and the ending of this little arc are at least a little clever. I'm not gonna seek out more or anything, but I have to come clean: I smirked.
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Honestly, PvP has improved a lot in the last few years. After hitting the ten year mark he decided to actually start improving his craft again, and while it doesn't always hit the mark you can still harvest a few chuckles a month.
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The fact that Kurtz can diatribe circles around nearly anyone, myself and A-CAP included, is a big part of it, yeah...
Still, the bulk of it is that the strip is the Garfield-bland assembly-line comic-as-equation approach to "edgy" webcomics.
Garfield with dick jokes and console gaming.
And with Garfield, it's somehow less grating as Garfield is written for six year olds and grammas.
Without syndication concerns, there's NO excuse for such a rote approach to comic stripping.
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History! (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3540.0.html)
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The fact that Kurtz can diatribe circles around nearly anyone, myself and A-CAP included...
Man those were the days, eh LFM?
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png)
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Ah, Mr. Chee.
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Hey, everyone!
(http://i49.tinypic.com/2w66k46.gif) (http://www.newshounds.com/d/20091123.html)
Webcomics.
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so, they bleep out cusses, but not the word Fag, and it is OK to say like, "i'm gonna rape you to punish you for being gay, + bestiality"
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I should mention that the "...from the dominant one of the planet." line was in the Keenspot newsbox today. I guess that is what they call "the sell"?
so, they bleep out cusses, but not the word Fag, and it is OK to say like, "i'm gonna rape you to punish you for being gay, + bestiality"
Webcomics.
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(http://i50.tinypic.com/3168znt.gif) (http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=3367)
Well, it was a weird and scary few weeks but the "Sinfest comics with jokes in them" crisis is finally at an end. Whew!
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(http://www.thecowgoddess.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/idioticadversaries.gif) (http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2009/11/21/idiotic-adversary-classic/)
You know Hathor, maybe you have a point, our society does have some rather messed up values....
(http://www.thecowgoddess.com/images/2005/weepingcamel.gif) (http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2009/11/23/weeping-camel-classic/)
.... oh wait! You're back to patronisingly (or is it matronisingly?) insulting people whose worldview even slightly differs from yours! Revolution baby!
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oh god hathor the cowgoddess where is the ban button
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This Hathor the Cowgoddess bitch makes me feel patriarchal as heck.
(sorry ladies)
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jay-ell's cousin's wife's dad's nephew's brother's roommate's friend's comic chat splittified into its own thread (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5297.0.html) because it is also not daisy owl
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Doc is canned because I'm no longer suffering alone.
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I have now masturbated in excess of 6 times to Hathor's teats.
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This Hathor the Cowgoddess bitch makes me feel patriarchal as heck.
(sorry ladies)
I know a guilt trip is what I'm looking for in a webcomic.
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I know a guilt trip is what I'm looking for in a webcomic.
I don't want to hear it unless you were breastfeeding a linux bicycle while you posted that.
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Does it still count if the bicycle is covered in fur?
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I mean, I am all about using one's art or craft as a personal soapbox.
I am all about it. I invented it. I built a time machine so that I could go back and invent it. My patent is completely pending.
But, man, these strips that are soapboxes about THE EXACT SAME THING.
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Every day. Forever.
It... hm. It reminds me why, though I am registered as a Democrat and vote in all major elections, I do not actually get involved with political organization.
You have to deal with crazy people who think the world revolves around only bicycles or only breast-feeding or only veganism or whatever.
All the time. Every day. Forever. Until you die.
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Oh god. I just read the birth story that was on the Hathor the Cow Goddess website. Holy christ. First of all, whoa. I still can't imagine the idea of a home birth, but that is only because the 2 women I'm closest to had complications that required surgical intervention to save their lives and their offspring. Individual ladies get to make their own choices, but that is not a choice I would make. Secondly, she didn't even suction out the baby's mouth and nose after the baby was born. I guess I have been an EMT too long. SHUDDER
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But it is NATURAL so it CAN'T be bad!*
*this is what people who scare me think
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But it is NATURAL so it CAN'T be bad!*
*this is what people who scare me think
getting cancer is natural, too.
(was that too extreme?)
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I'm thinking not extreme enough.
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I mean, it was extreme but it wasn't exactly extremely extreme.
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I mean on a scale of one to extreme it was around a seventeen point six.
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My one is always that arsenic is natural.
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Yes, but I heard that if you play gentle violin music at arsenic, it will turn into non-toxic jellybeans.
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Organic non-toxic jellybeans.
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As a breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, cloth-diapering, homemade baby-food making mom who has had two natural childbirths, I feel that Hathor the Cow Goddess is batshit fuck*ng looney.
I am all about letting people make their own decisions about what to do with their bodies and their kids, but that means being OK with the fact that some women choose epidurals and formula. It means not only being OK with it, but SUPPORTING my fellow moms in whatever choices they make, because heaven knows that being a parent is hard enough without other people throwing guilt all over you every time you have to make a decision.
Sure, breastfeeding is "natural" and it's what a woman's body is built for. It seems like it should be easy, since it was the sole source of nutrition for babies for most of human history. But historically, many babies have died of malnutrition because their mothers couldn't produce enough milk, or because they were premature and couldn't latch properly, or any number of other problems that interfere with nursing. You know what's "natural?" Having eleven children and watching half of them die because you can't feed them all.
Let's see Hathor the Cow Goddess defend that.
</rant>
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You know what's "natural?" Having eleven children and watching half of them die because you can't feed them all.
Dying in childbirth, too. As well as dying of infections instead of taking antibiotics. Etc.
Really, nature sucks. There is a good reason we invented civilization.
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*applause for the whole thread but mainly this page*
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Let's see Hathor the Cow Goddess defend that.
I think she addresses those mothers as lazy and/or selgiraffe.
Did they try massage? The baby thought bubble suggested massage.
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I think she addresses those mothers as lazy and/or selgiraffe.
Did they try massage? The baby thought bubble suggested massage.
That filter just keeps getting better for me.
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(http://i47.tinypic.com/124aerk.png)
(http://i49.tinypic.com/511oj9.png)
Can you spot the continuity error?
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Can you spot the continuity error?
I'm afraid I don't know what's going on at all really. Perhaps you would endeavor to explain.
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Her head exploded.
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The continuity error is that, despite this comic, Jack Chick never converted to Scientology.
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The whole thing's a disjointed mess. That was like trying to watch Lost while stoned.
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See all of popular culture makes more since if you are stoned though.
I can understand just sitting around eating chips and watching the biggest loser stoned (not that I do that), but the people who aren't? whats up with that?
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im not interested in trying hallucinogens, but i always thought it would be interesting to drop acid and watch that lame live action 'masters of the universe' with dolph lundgren as heman.
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Is it because on Eternia, they don't say goodbye, they say good journey?
Because every parting is an opportunity to meet again someday?
And then Courtney Cox violates all the laws of causality as we were taught them by Back to the Future by saving her parents' lives?
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i fixed my own typo. whew.
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im not interested in trying hallucinogens, but i always thought it would be interesting to drop acid and watch that lame live action 'masters of the universe' with dolph lundgren as heman.
Well, I know what I'm doing this weekend...
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I have been reading Yehuda Moon since this thread. Man, it is so awesome. And all of the bikers get all pissy and serious in the comment section. I can't really think of a better example of unintentional comedy than Yehuda- but you have to include the comments. This month he has been tracking down the dude who hit him. It involved a really bad fake comic inside the comic, a godfather bike head in bed, fake blood, an eye witness who may be a love interest who is setting up her ex boyfriend and an on-air confession.
I also really like that it updates at 12 am pacific every day. It is nice to follow something on a schedule.
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I also really like that it updates at 12 am pacific every day. It is nice to follow something on a schedule.
Zing!