The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: colmore on January 31, 2014, 02:23:18 pm
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01312014 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01312014)
Drive by Patting.
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I missed Pat. But fuck me if I can make sense of anything that happened.
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I think he took their potato, put it in an empty fiber supplement bag, smashed it and then ran off? Which seems like it wouldn't get in the way of turning that potato into hash browns.
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Laffing out loud at Pat running in, fuck*ng up their hash-brown plans in the name of a purer planet, and running out again without really explaining himself. That guy has URGENCY.
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It's funny because he's not even really providing an ethical justification for what he's doing, their potato is just insufficiently Whole Foods snobby.
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their potato is just insufficiently Whole Foods snobby.
The bureaucratic acronyms of the International Potato Standards, the global potato initiative and the crunchy granola names of the approved potato farms are all dead on.
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Teodor still hasn't put a shirt on.
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I was with deja on this one —— all I could think was that "Pat's activities are so poorly conveyed".
Also why would eating the smashed potato in the fibre bag make their bowel movements different? Maybe I should just accept that the whole thing was a build to a good U2 joke.
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I woke up this morning and decided to dress for comfort.
I pulled on a t-shirt that says "1978 VOLVO 244GLE OF DESPAIR" from the bottom of my dresser. The lettering and image on the front is cracked and faded. The underarms have Mitchum Cookies baked into them.
A distant acquaintance posted a picture on Facebook of a unicorn with a big middle-finger-mother-fuckyou for a head with the text "Fuck Your Friday".
The signs... the portends, they all pointed to this moment, like monks scribbling cryptic poetry about futures for which they could have no reckoning.
I feel like I'm waking up from a long nap and my eyes are eyeboogered shut.
(http://raindog.net/ljimages/fuckyourfriday.jpg)
IT'S STILL FUCK YOU FRIDAY! I'M NOT TOO LATE! BOY! BOY!
RUN TO THE MARKET, AND BUY THE LARGEST TINY CANS OF DR PEPPER.
The ones in the Mr. Floint's window? The ones that are as big as me?!
YES, YES, BOY! THOSE! HERE'S A SHILLING AND TWO CROWNS! NOW BE QUICK WITH YE!
FUCK YOU FRIDAY! EVERYONE OF US!
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Also why would eating the smashed potato in the fibre bag make their bowel movements different? Maybe I should just set up that the whole thing was a build to a good U2 joke.
Yeah, was trying to work this out with friends on FB and remembered there's a forum. Came over here someone would have answers, but sadly...
Well, what I didn't know is that chia is currently a trendy health food thing, not just a novelty hair growing plant. So presumably what Teodor is holding at the end is Pat's own chia mix, and to be fair, the bag in panel 10 does not look like it contains a smooshed potato.
But the whole sequence of events seems like Pat's taking the potato, smooshing it, putting his own label on it, and running away after leaving it on the floor. So I don't get it either.
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Actually I'm just going to go with this -- if the bag in panel 5 already had a gray blob in it, representing Pat's own chia mix that is ready to be ground into a smooshed potato, then everything would make sense here. I'm just gonna call it an oversight on Onstad's part and continue on with my life.
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But the bag offers reward for returning it, so I'm thinking it's something along the lines of a 'recycling' concept.
This whole new storyline has been too much concentrated Onstad. Gotta dilute this shiz.
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Fuck this thing, I didn't even know what was a hash brown 'till this strip came along (I'm not from "these parts", new guys).
Also this 1-strip-a-week thing is really not scratching my itch (I know, I know, let me vent).
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My take on it is that there are two different bags. Pat quarantined the standard russet in some sort of artisinal organic HazMat bag and replaced it with his bag o'disappointment.
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Also, stapling tater bellies to their sides. I don't understand. Literally. not critically. Literally, like I am dumb. Those words do not form an image in my head.
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Or, no, the alternate someone on FB suggests: it's just that Pat's method of advertising is saving people from eating potatoes.
It's like a "trade in your phone for an upgrade" kind of promotion: "Turn in your shitty potato for a chia discount." And they're not actually looking at chia, they're commenting on the existence of chia elsewhere in the world. This still requires some creative parsing of Penny's line in panel 13, but whatevs.
Still confusing me why Pat would care about the quality of the potato he's about to fuck up but nevermind. I guess if he has to stoop to admit potatoes are a thing, at least the ones in the house should be ultra-organic.
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I guess Onstad is forced by recent circumstances to reconsider his old love of Led Zeppelin and U2? That's what I'm getting from all of this.
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This whole new storyline has been too much concentrated Onstad. Gotta dilute this shiz.
I think this analysis is right on the money.
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Still confusing me why Pat would care about the quality of the potato he's about to fuck up but nevermind. I guess if he has to stoop to admit potatoes are a thing, at least the ones in the house should be ultra-organic.
Pat would care about the quality of the potato he's about to fuck up because he's a huge, self-righteous, condescending asshole. Simple as that.
I can't think of Pat without thinking "Dude! Don't wear a cape!" But cape-wearing Pat was actually sort of a nice person.
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your activities are so poorly conveyed
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9fU7-R8nyJ8
This is what I imagine Pat sounding like and talking about at dinner parties.
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That whole putting your feet on a stool to simulate the squatting position is so much bullshit. I think we talked about that here. I never brought this up, but I thought about this one day when I was in a reflective mood and I realized that my forearms were on my knees as I looked down upon my reading material. By leaning forward in this way I was actually in a squatting position. I thought about it further and realized that putting my feet on a stool would be less like a squatting position than what I was doing naturally. It would be more like a bike riding posture.
Seeing how stupid and gullible the majority of people on Facebook seem to be I believe that whoever was selling those special stools that conveniently fit under the commode probably made millions. I guess I am starting to hate Facebook because it's throwing all of this stupid in my face everyday. I blame you guys for not posting more here where we're safe from all of that.
Looking back I think the first bellwether for me that we are a nation of morons is when we started paying for water.
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Looking back I think the first bellwether for me that we are a nation of morons is when we started paying for water.
Just fought that skirmish again today when we were grocery shopping. Fortunately reason prevailed for the moment.
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That whole putting your feet on a stool to simulate the squatting position is so much bullshit. I think we talked about that here. I never brought this up, but I thought about this one day when I was in a reflective mood and I realized that my forearms were on my knees as I looked down upon my reading material. By leaning forward in this way I was actually in a squatting position. I thought about it further and realized that putting my feet on a stool would be less like a squatting position than what I was doing naturally. It would be more like a bike riding posture.
I think I probably never mentioned this because the whole 'the way modern man takes a shit is causing prostate cancer... Primitive humans never got cancer,' or whatever it was about was such hossshit that debunking it was probably a waste of time. So sorry, I guess for that waste of time.
Seeing how stupid and gullible the majority of people on Facebook seem to be I believe that whoever was selling those special stools that conveniently fit under the commode probably made millions. I guess I am starting to hate Facebook because it's throwing all of this stupid in my face everyday. I blame you guys for not posting more here where we're safe from all of that.
Sorry, I've been sick this week and have spent even more time on Facebook than usual.
PS, I found some Xanax in my medicine cabinet. Don't know where they came from, but they were in a bottle with my name on it. I have never taken a Xanax before. It is making me feel kinda mellow.
Goodnight.
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That whole putting your feet on a stool to simulate the squatting position is so much bullshit. I think we talked about that here.
I'm thinking about putting stirrups and a saddle horn on mine now. Giddap!
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You know you can hide people from your Facebook feed, right? Probably even better than Xanax.
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Primitive humans never got cancer,'
Primitive humans died of something more immediate before they could develop cancer.
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You know you can hide people from your Facebook feed, right? Probably even better than Xanax.
Believe me I've done plenty of that, but If I hid everyone that posted ridiculous bullshit on Facebook there'd be very little left. The problem with that plan is even the people that post nonsense occasionally post something I want/need to see. No, a much better idea is for your figments to start posting more here. A couple of new folks were posting in this thread. Maybe we should throw them a party.
Hey Agingbuffoon, we'll call you Buffy, or Buff. Welcome. Edraid come on in, put on a party hat. Ianmalcolm2 you've been here for a little bit now, show the new guys around. You can be the captain of the bowling team. Colmore, Spinn, nice to see longtime members, infrequent posters make themselves known. Don't be strangers.
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need to see.
Nope.
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I recently joined a bowling team, Paul, and let's just say that nothing I've done so far merits my promotion to such a position.
Except maybe naming the team "Pin & Tonics." The jury's still out as to whether that was a good idea.
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Use a tiny can of Dr Pepper for your next tonic.
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I have unfollowed 90% of my Facebook feed, which means Facebook to me now feels like a ghost town, almost nothing ever happens, which means I spent less and less time on Facebook, which is a very good thing. Positive reinforcement, yo.
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I talk a lot of shit about how the internet is shitty and a waste of time...but the sites I frequent I check constantly (not constantly) (also- this one, joe posnanski's blog sunny ali's twitter and instragram and yo is this racist) so I have to limit my sites. Like, if I had a facebook I would maybe do nothing else? But I just play it off like, oh, I don't facebook.
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I'm going back to Flickr.
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Cleaning up my Facebook was one of my New Years deals. I unfriended anyone who I honestly couldn't remember from real life, took down a bunch of photos, and cleared out the backlog of friend requests. Then I created a second account with a fake name and maximum privacy settings that is only friends with my actual friends. I use that second account now. The account under my real name is really just there to be an entry in the virtual phone book. It has my phone number and address listed and viewable to friends.
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I'm going back to Flickr.
You never left it though
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Cleaning up my Facebook was one of my New Years deals. I unfriended anyone who I honestly couldn't remember from real life, took down a bunch of photos, and cleared out the backlog of friend requests. Then I created a second account with a fake name and maximum privacy settings that is only friends with my actual friends. I use that second account now. The account under my real name is really just there to be an entry in the virtual phone book. It has my phone number and address listed and viewable to friends.
That sounds like a very good idea.
You never left it though
No, but I have neglected the social aspects of it for the last couple of years.
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I feel like he could have left off the entire last row and it would have flowed better. Yeah, it would've lost a U2 joke, but there'll be other chances.
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I feel like he could have left off the entire last row and it would have flowed better. Yeah, it would've lost a U2 joke, but there'll be other chances.
Is anyone an electrical engineer here? I need to know if an owl jumper-cabled to a car battery would cook on the inside or just fry on the surface a little because of 'skin effect'. How would you make it do the one or the other?
Thanks xoxox
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Wait, what is an owl jumper anyway? The only thing that comes to mind is a sweater with an owl on it.
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Particularly if worn by a well endowed female jogging in place.
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Particularly when they've spent most of their endowment on car batteries
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I wonder if there is a widely known Method for stripping a car - assuming you're not driving it into a chop shop. You know, something starting with whatever goodies the owner left in the cabin, then stereos and in-dash electronics...wheels...airbags...maybe ending with chrome exhaust tips or something. Where would a battery fall in that process?
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Holy Mother of...
Your reply prompted me to wonder how many people get killed trying to steal copper. It was the second option on Google instant complete of "deaths from stea..." and the the Image search results were as macabre as one could imagine. I would hazard that some reference to meth comes up in a large proportion of those investigations.
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Nothin new this week on account of an 'expensive' laser eye surgery on the artiste's part. I can't fault the guy but man —— I really can't see where this arc is going, and it seems he's just as blind.
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Onstad strikes me as the dude who forgets it's valentine's day and then runs around town forgetting even more things and getting progressively grumpier as his standards for procuring a gift grow lower. And then doesn't post a new strip.
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Friday isn't over! Especially on the west coast! There's still hope!
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Friday isn't over! Especially on the west coast! There's still hope!
Oh you starry eyed fool. Once again Teodor is still trapped in the back of Nice Pete's van and Ray thinks his name is Theo Freedom.