I'm a little hazy here, but would an imploding star create a black hole? Because that would do a lot of damage. Just look at the Black Hole Slam

I haven't been to Denny's since they stopped serving the Alabama Slam.

Philippe lives at the center of a veritable storm of hardcore pornography, drug abuse, and violence. It's a wonder he still has all his limbs. So yeah, he's a good kid. Y'all quit DRINKING THAT HATERADE

Plus, everyone's rackin' on about the sugar, but caffeine will fuck you up gloriously when you're young. Seriously: I remember caffeine as being something bizarre and exotic, to be coveted. Then again, I wasn't Carlos' kid.

I heard Achewood T-shirts give off some kind of poison gas

It'll be easy living once we get it all automated.

LET'S BE FRANK: TWO IN THE CRANK

That is a helpful mnemonic device about shooting an assailant twice in the genitals (pref. c*ck). I am looking into licensing potential (foam can holders, trucker hats, t-shirts w/ optional Confederate flag device), so if anyone uses it as a sig on an Internet message board, get ready for a lawsuit.

Somebody nice: the entire police and fire departments have got your back? And to think we were worried!

Of course, I don't know if I can be seen helping out an authority figure.

I am technically at work and thus can't really be bothered to look it up, so: does anyone know what precisely happened between this guy and PA?

Here you go - I had to look it up, myself, and then I was sort of "That's it? ... Huh." If you want to know where ridiculous, petty disputes can be inflated beyond all reasonable expectation, well, that place is the Internet.

Don't miss the discussion page for that article. That shit goes on and on.

I read and enjoy Penny Arcade, and Tycho's news posts are great reads, but Jesus Christ, those die-hard Penny Arcade fans are complete fuckin' dipshits, I swear. I feel bad for this dude (whom I'd never heard of until just now); PA readers just can't seem to stop patting themselves on the back for all the Interweb Influence they wield, and what happened here seems like one more case of HEY LET'S STEAMROLL THIS GUY FOR PA!!!1 BECAUSE WE CAN~

(People who invest way too much of themselves, emotionally, into a fandom - especially on the goddamned Internet - really ought to be given a wide berth, if not simply locked in a habitat where they can harmlessly indulge themselves and each other forever and ever without getting tangled up in the feet of, you know, balanced people.)

Having said that, what I've skimmed of his Groundbreaking Pixel Comic doesn't really impress me - it seems like that self-consciously zany humor that the Web is more or less choked with. And all this hand-flapping and well-I-nevering and taking oneself Oh So Seriously does nothing but paint a target on your chest.