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[Choop]

Bozack, gather a team laden with sniper rifles. Wear a stovepipe hat and a juacet with tails piped with burgundy. Train your team's rifles at the non-you Poe Toaster. Should their rifles sound, fall, count to four, then bolt.



This test requires a B- to pass. B- can be achieved by living through the ordeal.

I'll be grading on-site.

[side_show]

I imagine a converstation between the Ghost of Poe Toaster 1 and the new Poe Toaster 2 Going like this:

Toaster 1:  Son!  Oooooohhh! Son!  
Toaster 2: Oh, hey dad.  
T1:The time is drawing nigh for the annual toast.
T2: Yeah, whatever.
T1: T'is a grand tradition!  You must carry the torch!
T2: Yeah, okay.
T1: You must honour...
T2: Yeah, yeah, "honour Poe's spirit through the toasting of spirits."  I know dad, you've told me, like, twenty times.
T1: I have passed the torch to you - t'is your chance to have the world listen.
T2: Come on dad, the world isn't listening, just a few goth weirdos.
T1: 'Weirdos?' Poe's readers are not, as you, say "wierdos," but rather those who know the darkness...
T2: Yeah, "the darkness of the human soul."  I got it dad, you tell me the same stuff every year.
T1: Fine.
T2: Fine.
T1: So... what message wilt thou you offer this year?
T2: Message?  Oh, man, I don't know...
T1:  It's needs to be a message...
T2: "bourne of a passion," yeah, I know dad.
T1:  What whilt thou message be?
T2: I don't know... I've been thinking, maybe something about the Xbox 360.
T1: The Xbox 360?
T2: It's a video game machine.
T1: (disolving into vapor) Oh curses upon the heavens, the young one does not comprehend the task at had... T'is a dark nigh of the human soul... Oh, darkness... darkness... darkness....

[yu-huang]

T2: It's a video game machine.

I'm a sucker for all things steampunk, so of course I died a little death upon reading this term.

[Golfhaus]

I do have to laugh a little bit about the controversy the Toaster Watchers are in arms about concerning T2's forays into commentary. About how the new toaster is not keeping with the solemnity of the the tradition of the thing. T1 wasn't doing it for YOU, motherfuckers. He was doing it for himself, and on another level, for the dead author he likes. T2 is doing it, probably, for his dad, or his uncle, or whatever. The ritual is theirs, not yours.

One year he should do it in a clown costume and leave a half empty PBR on the grave to remind them of that.