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Author Topic: Bourdain in re: Food Network  (Read 8283 times)

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CortJstr

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2007, 03:01:40 am »
Quote from: wombat on February 10, 2007, 02:51:26 am
Sometimes lately I think Alton has lost his mind. One day he will be telling you how to assemble Pop-Tarts from their constituent molecules, and then next day he will (as I have ranted about previously) make eclair pastry from scratch and fill it with instant vanilla pudding.

I mean sure, in real life, one day I will make pasta from scratch and the next day I will eat a frozen pizza. But in a work of art like a TV show, I think you have to choose a point of view and stick with it, you know?

He could have at least said he was filling it with "Good Eats pudding" as he often does with marinara sauce. Or just acknowledge the hipocracy like he does when he uses store-bought croutons.
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Choop

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #31 on: February 10, 2007, 05:41:48 am »
Quote from: wombat on February 10, 2007, 02:51:26 am
Sometimes lately I think Alton has lost his mind. One day he will be telling you how to assemble Pop-Tarts from their constituent molecules, and then next day he will (as I have ranted about previously) make eclair pastry from scratch and fill it with instant vanilla pudding.

I mean sure, in real life, one day I will make pasta from scratch and the next day I will eat a frozen pizza. But in a work of art like a TV show, I think you have to choose a point of view and stick with it, you know?

Quote from: CortJstr on February 10, 2007, 03:01:40 am
He could have at least said he was filling it with "Good Eats pudding" as he often does with marinara sauce. Or just acknowledge the hipocracy like he does when he uses store-bought croutons.

Quote from: Choopernickel on February 09, 2007, 06:49:50 pm
I have a hard time watching Alton, because he skips steps in some shows that he insists you never skip in other shows. Consistency should be required.
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theinevitable

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2007, 12:40:50 am »
I am thinking of y'all, because I made a truly horrendous dish and am enjoying it as we speak--
step 1: boil water
step 2: put Ramen noodles into water
3: boil for 3 minutes
4: add way too much vinegar, oh my GOD this is too much vinegar, shit, "dude what the fuck is that, it smells like vinegar" It's fuck*ng ramen, dude! I know I put too much, shit!
5: add too much soy sauce to compensate
6: try it, make funny faces
7: add more water
8: try to choke it down. try to convince people to sample it.
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Muse_Of_Fire

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2007, 01:11:33 am »
I think noodles would be a hindrance to your man-douche, sweetie.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2007, 01:23:39 am »
For that matter, soy sauce would probably also be detrimental as a man-douche.

All kindsa salts and phyto-estrogens in there to salt small wounds and shrink the junk, respectively.
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V-Adore

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #35 on: February 11, 2007, 04:00:27 am »
If it's any comfort, inev, I once added seasoning salt and bacon bits to desperately over-bland instant soba, and it Did Not Work. Oh, good heaven did it not work. That was one of those days that made me think I should have just made a Childhood Sandwich and called it a day.
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theinevitable

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #36 on: February 11, 2007, 04:31:27 am »
what bothers me the most is that I've successfully combined these things half a dozen times. I just wayyy overdid the vinegar this time.
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Turbo Ninja

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #37 on: February 16, 2007, 05:37:33 pm »
Quote from: Choopernickel on February 09, 2007, 06:49:50 pm
I'm just glad Michael Chiarello isn't on Food Network, as then I would have to gouge out my eyes with a length of coaxial cable.

Perhaps you would care for a few feet of RG6?

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Choop

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #38 on: February 16, 2007, 07:43:18 pm »
oh my christ
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littlefallsmets

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Food Network observations
« Reply #39 on: March 03, 2007, 08:14:25 pm »
Watching some Food Network this morning, I've noticed some things.

1.) The Barefoot Contessa does not seem to know any straight men. That is fine and all but... like... not even one straight dude, ever? She doesn't even seem to hang out with ladies of any persuasion very often, either. It's like... just her and a gaggle of gay fellows. It's weird.

2.) The way Giada says "spaghetti" makes me wanna smack her, even though I was raised to not hit anyone, let alone a lady who weighs fifty-three pounds. "Spa-GHHHHHHHETTTTT-ee!" "MOHT-zeeeeer-ELL-a!" Fah-uck-a you, lady.

Jesus, we get it. You are ethnically Italian. We understand. You don't have to completely overpronounce every goddamned Italian word to remind us. You don't have to be like that one reporter on the news who has a Michigan accent except when he says his own ethnic last name and overpronounces the shit out of it.

"This is Bill Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-NAND-ehz with Channel Seven news, back to you."

3.) Everything Rachel Ray says is a double entendre. EVERYTHING.

4.) Paula Deen seems to have taken Santa Clause as her second husband. Why, Santa, why?
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wombat

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #40 on: March 03, 2007, 08:25:51 pm »
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Muse_Of_Fire

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #41 on: March 04, 2007, 12:32:02 am »
Spectacular!

The thing is, if anyone on FN would be a vampire hunter, it would totally be Tony Bourdain. That would so rock.
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pmcd9

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #42 on: April 02, 2007, 08:10:45 pm »
It's very popular to hate the cooks on the food network, apparently.
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jough

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Re: Bourdain in re: Food Network
« Reply #43 on: April 03, 2007, 01:52:11 am »
Well, technically Bourdain's show's on the Travel Channel...
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