Eh, the problem with the internet is a total lack of intonation to the conversation.
Had I said it out-loud, you'd've realized that... I'm about a week past sour grapes and... was merely picking on pretty much the lamest facial hair I've ever seen in my twenty-seven years. A PINK billy-goat STRIP.
The billy-goat strip, in and of itself, is probably the lamest facial hair attainable... like that little patch under the lip that people who think they're TOTALLY hip have... somehow crossed with the wild long beard of someone who thinks that maybe, just maybe, ZZ Top will recruit them off the street and give them a really cool guitar and a guitar what spins.
Already, this sounds to be SO outrageously affected that it couldn't exist out of fiction?
Like you wouldn't even put it on a Halloween costume because people would mock its total unbelievability? "What do you do, go to deep dark coffeehouse open mics with a beret and an acoustic guitar... and then cover 'Legs'? Go home, cut some holes in a sheet and come back as a ghost..."
And THEN dye it pink.
We're long outside of sporting animosity, my friend.
We are in the realm, strictly, of apocalyptically unrecommended facial hair.