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Author Topic: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.  (Read 7259 times)

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V-Adore

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #30 on: December 02, 2007, 12:16:04 am »

a coffee that has only trace coffee in it under a foot of whipped cream and caramel lattice

I will admit that this is my preferred coffee, but that's also why I generally order hot chocolate.
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theinevitable

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #31 on: December 02, 2007, 12:41:13 am »

yeah, man. Hot Chocolate or Chai, represent.
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Golfhaus

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #32 on: December 02, 2007, 01:14:44 am »

I can't stand coffee, of any kind, of any flavor, of any temperature. But when it's cold outside, I will partake of the hot chocolate. My favorite is hot chocolate with a shot of mint in it. Is so nice.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #33 on: December 02, 2007, 01:30:25 am »

I cant stand hot coffee. When I make coffee I use a bold high octane bean from SBUX or DND and grind that sucker into sand for maximum surface area and caffeine release. boil, pour over ice. I dont understand why people drink boiling hot coffee or why it is served that way in restaurants. One sip and you can't taste anything for a week.
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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #34 on: December 02, 2007, 01:42:29 am »

I can't stand coffee, of any kind, of any flavor, of any temperature. But when it's cold outside, I will partake of the hot chocolate. My favorite is hot chocolate with a shot of mint in it. Is so nice.

QFT. And coffee breath is horrific.
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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #35 on: December 02, 2007, 02:07:10 am »

QFT. And coffee breath is horrific.

Oh god, I dated a chick once with a coffee habit. And she couldn't afford *$, so she just drank up the Maxwell House, etc. Terrible.
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jaydub

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #36 on: December 02, 2007, 02:30:43 am »

Ok, I'll admit it: I lashed out at the Americano. In ignorance, maybe in anger.
I've never actually seen an americano in real life but all descriptions just sound like... a ruined espresso I guess.
Lore may not be entirely innocent in this matter.
Well, no - steam is better at getting the flavour out of coffee beans without the bitterness than plain hot water (even boiling hot water).  You then add hot water to the espresso to stretch the flavors out and appreciate all the subtleties that whatever fancy ##### beans you've got may have to offer.  A well prepared Americano will have a naturally occuring foam at the top called crema by those who know such things.  It consists mostly of long chain carbohydrates and probably has some of the 15 calories that Linnea was wondering about (the rest will be in solution - I don't think scraping the crema off will cut the calories much further).  You may then go on to ruin the coffee with milk and sugar if you're so inclined.
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linnea

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #37 on: December 02, 2007, 02:40:52 am »

I can hardly ever drink coffee or most caffeinated bev because it makes me hella twitchy. And then it makes The Insomnia unbearable, even if I drink it in the morning. However, when I drink coffee it's almost always black. The exception is for drinks made with espresso.

But you're right, coffee breath is terrible.
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Doc

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2007, 04:09:38 am »

Wait a second, I'm starting to get the feeling an Americano is what is referred to as a 'Long Black' over here, which is my go-to coffee drink. I shall report back after investigating further.

Edit: Wikipedia informs that a long black is like an Americano but with two shots instead of one and the water added first to preserve the crema. My world has been turned upside down but at least the slight difference allows me to preserve some coffee elitism.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2007, 04:14:05 am by Doc »
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littlefallsmets

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2007, 07:59:17 am »

Ah, I dunno. I love coffee and everything about it. If I had the time and the money, I'd drink a pot and a half every morning. You can't beat a cuppa simple drip joe from beans ground seconds before the dripping but... if you gotta go fancy?

I dig what some people call a Quadruple-Red-Eye but I prefer to call a Zombie Woof.

Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.

Three of those and you're in a nice little place of heart palpitations and paranoid realizations that I get all my best ideas from, that I like to call The Heart of The Storm.

It is the exact opposite of meditating.

If living is watching a movie and meditating is focusing on the beauty of a single frame, The Heart of The Storm is being thrown naked into a snowbank and having whole movies of film thrown at you from all directions, in cut-up frames, in loose spools, the occasional entire reels just to keep you on your toes.

It is probably all of the best parts of being dissociatively insane, the weird connections finally made, the feeling of your consciousness separating into a cloud of tiny bees... bees that are all pissed as hell as each other... and feeling yourself win and lose the microscopic battle within you at the same time.

Oh man. Is so good.

And you get to come back!

Zombie Woof. Seriously.
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Ben-San

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #40 on: December 02, 2007, 08:06:05 am »

I like the smell of coffee brewing but the taste is no good in my books. Mark me in the "chai or hot chocolate" camp.

(Not the kind of chai latte whatever mess that is basically like drinking dessert, though. Just.. chai.)
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side_show

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #41 on: December 02, 2007, 04:07:34 pm »

I make myself a nice Chai Latte with our fancy-does-everything coffee machine.  I make it the same way every time, but last time - because of a problem? - the steam valve caused a Chai explosion so that there was frothy Chai everywhere including on my face and glasses and on the cat.  The cat looked hella insulted, tried to clean herself, got a taste of the Chai, shuddered and walked away in disgust.  I can see why a dildo might be better at doing the job, because the steam valve was like a hot, slightly burning cum shot situation.  So nasty.
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melack

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #42 on: December 02, 2007, 04:27:33 pm »

I'm a big fan of a little drink called the "High Systolic." See, it's got -- ahh, nevermind.

Actually, I used to drink a lot of coffee, but now I've cut back considerably. In that fun window of time after college but before full-time employment, I was drinking about three cups every morning and crashing like the Hindenburg by 2. I guess I had nothing better to do. Now I'll have a cup of joe in the morning and a sometimes a cup of tea in the afternoon and that's it. Rarely do I drink coffee on the weekends.

And for what it's worth, I'm from Seattle -- the most ridiculously stereotyped city in the world when it comes to caffeine. Now that I live in the Bay Area and see everyone's caffeine habit down here, I can tell you that particular myth about the Emerald City being especially wired is yet another load of bullshit that can be added to the old Bullshit Truck. This particular truck of myths includes everyone loving Nirvana (I fuck*ng hate them), and the fact that it rains every second of the year (the total rainfall is less than New York, people!).

AugustWest

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #43 on: December 02, 2007, 04:43:42 pm »


I dig what some people call a Quadruple-Red-Eye but I prefer to call a Zombie Woof.

Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.

Three of those and you're in a nice little place of heart palpitations and paranoid realizations that I get all my best ideas from, that I like to call The Heart of The Storm.


Jesus Christ!  Wouldn't meth be easier and cheaper?
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chuanoplast

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Re: November 30, 2007 - Dildo it for you? Only a buck.
« Reply #44 on: December 02, 2007, 07:05:16 pm »


Medium good drip joe in a large cup, throw in four shots of espresso, four or five sugars, fill from there with skim milk and dust a little vanilla powder in on top if you're feeling saucy.


Seeing as a small cup of strong black tea gives me jitters so bad I can barely hold a pencil, I can only imagine the effects of the Zombie Woof upon my system (probably nausea and death by tachycardia, as well as strong doubts about proper grammar).

I'm sticking with my morning mug of weak green tea.
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