Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Bozack]

Okay, I need a little help here from the brilliant minds corralled within the Achewood forum: I'm working on a comic book script, because I really don't like going outside or human interaction. ANYWAY, my main character ends up on a superhero team of sorts, and I need other heroes. This is sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing; here are the profile of the main characters:

Gary Miller, aka The Regulator
20-year old slacker, stoner, retail clerk and superhero, who, while serving as a professional guinea pig for a megafood corporation, indigested a combination of genetically-modified potato chips and fake-sugar diet cola that scrambled his DNA, giving him super-strength and regenerative powers. Fighting crime in jeans and a t-shirt, he became “The Regulator,”  after the Bad Brains song, not, he would like to add, after any powers he has related to keeping people "regular." He does not appreciate jokes about Metamucil. After a few weeks of sloppy and self-serving superhero antics, he was recruited by the International Superheroes Corporation, a multinational company formed to employ superhumans and apply their skills to needed situations. For three eight-hour shifts a week, plus a few “on-call” days, Gary gets $100,000 tax-free annually; contingent, of course, upon him following ISC guidelines and keeping the job. The last point is vitally important, because, as ISC employees are the only legally authorized superheroes, if Gary gets fired, or decides to go freelance, he'll be declared "rogue," and every one of his current co-workers will be gunning for his head.

So here's the thing. I need a little superhero group for him to join. I've already got some characters planned out (Alan Turing, the ***** of the group, who's addicted to upgrading himself), and I'd like for all of you clever, clever people to give character creation a whirl. C'mon, I know one of you has the next Ant-Man hiding in them!

[jay-ell]

This doesn't help you at all, but you really need to play Freedom Force if you haven't already.  

Seriously.

[St_Zartan]

This doesn't help you at all, but you really need to play Freedom Force if you haven't already.

She's right. Fully five months after she gave me the same advice, I actually quit waffling and did it, and oh damn it's great

To be fair, I enjoy downloading and trying out new models / skins in Danger Room mode as much as the actual campaign itself. PLASTIC MAN AND SOLID SNAKE VERSUS LIKE A MILLION NINJAS IN THE PARK

Also, Bozack, you may want to consider the Easy Breather for your superhero team, the "not... intentionally sexual" heroine that knows that the way to prevent crime is to ban tobacco.

[Choop]

Easy Breather

Okay, the whole concept of a "Smoke-Free Web Page" is at best absurd, and at least moronic. One: the internet can be viewed in any location in the world, provided the right hardware and connectivity. Two: a cigarette can be smoked in nearly any location in the world. Three: a web page can't be smoked - that is, unless it's printed and rolled into a cigarette of some kind.

Why would anyone think that announcing this predilection has any kind of effect whatsoever except making someone else say, "Oh! Wow! That's a pompous motherfucker right there! I'm closing this page and shall never ever return!" ...?

I do have to hand it to the author for the name Karmen McNockside, though, and think it's one of the worst* puns I've read recently.


* best

[jay-ell]

I enjoyed making custom content for FF -- my superhero was the Jade Dragon.  She wore green and liked to set bad guys on fire.  I guess her origins had something to do with an experimental DNA-altering laser, a kimodo dragon, and a Zippo lighter.  I never really articulated how it all came about, though.  

Here's a picture.  The symbol on her back is the Chinese character for "Dragon," cleverly enough.  

[CortJstr]

I've read way too many Tick-verse comics to come up with any original parodies at this point. Even the post above immediately made me think of Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas.

We are just a hedge. Please move along.

[jough]

How about Obnoxio, whose super power is that he talks on his cell phone ALL THE TIME in public, especially during plays and at movies.

He can shoot radioactive death rays from his ear.

His sidekick is Asshole Boy, who wears his hat backwards, his ##### around his ankles, shoelaces untied, and plays a gameboy ALL THE TIME, even while driving or ordering food at a restaurant.

[andalucia]

How about Obnoxio, whose super power is that he talks on his cell phone ALL THE TIME in public, especially during plays and at movies.

This is, in itself, hardly a superpower, unless there are more drastically gifted individuals in the world than I had originally presumed.

He can shoot radioactive death rays from his ear.

Ah.  There you go.

[Limmo]

The Arguer, who just doesn't know when to leave it alone.

Schnauzer Man.

The Simp, created from an unfortunate incident involving a barrel of toxic waste and Jackson Browne.

[side_show]

Or the Sims: an entire family of superhero's who imobolize villans for hours and hours by forcing them to care for them, make sure they go to the bathroom and mop the floors.

[V-Adore]

There's always the only good idea I ever saw come from improv comedy, Too Much Information Man. (I have actually seen real-life versions of this superhero, and it is incredible how quickly people will flee when they start talking.)

I'll try to think of less lame things, though.

[Ben-San]

King Pickle is the natural lord and master of all brined or pickled vegetables. When in his native environment (a kosher deli) he possesses great power, but he is never to be underestimated, for he is wily.

[Choop]

Er... sorry for the rant up there. It had been a while since I'd had a smoke, and I was slammed at work. Two minutes free, and there's an oppressor.

Anyway.

Imelda Barkos - a member of the social elite and were-woman, her baying is sometimes mistaken for car alarms, but she can sniff out any crook. Powers: super-scent, wolf-form (with which comes speed, strength, and bloodlust). Weakness: shoes. And bloodlust. (The shoes, they work on two levels, see? SEE?)

Macroman - Tired of the circus, this giant fights for the underdog. Literally, whoever falls as Barkos rushes past (over) them, is saved by Macroman.

God, I'm so lame.