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[side_show]

Middle school was horrible for me too.

Middle school is invariably horrible for everyone.

a brief snapshot:

While shaving my legs, I notice the scars on my knee, and I think "damn you Ryan Rebenchuk!"  You see, in my middle school years, Ryan was a dorky kid who got picked on quite a bit.  I tried to be his friend, but he lacked the social skills nessisary to be an enjoyable person to be around.  I am standing on the play ground, Ryan is being chased by several other boys who want to beat him up.  He runs at me and hurls me to the ground in an attempt to turn me into some sort of human road block.  My knee is horribly cut and I end up in the office, where the secretary applies all those mysterious things that burn, smell and look weird.  "Damn you Ryan Rebenchuk!"

Flash to me in highschool -grade 10.  I've changed schools and managed to carve my niche in the "B" group of artey intellectuals (the "A" group is, of course, jocks, rich kids and cheerleader types).  In the middle of the school year, who transfers in but Ryan.  Just before he transfers in, his mother calls my mother and asks that Ryan and I go to a movie together so that he'll have a friend at his new school.  I don't want to go, but mom guilts me into it.  When he arrives at my school, he proceeds to tell everyone that we are dating.  I deny this, but for months the rumour persists.  "Damn  you Ryan Rebenchuk!!"

[side_show]

I have this general model of wellness that is slowly morphing into a sort of "personal strategic plan" as I continue to mess with it. Basically, my premise is twofold: First, that each person has to have a set of values and convictions. Otherwise most actions they take and events of which they are a part lack any meaning beyond the moment. Second, that  in general, continuously working toward general wellness in 6 broad categories is necessary, and that in without a minimal level of general wellness, an individual has little chance of recognizing and taking greatest advantage of opportunities as they present themselves, thus they find themselves trapped in circumstances they feel they can't escape.

Each second that goes by makes increases the difficulty level for self-fueled life change, so earlier is better. It is never too late to become healthy and well, either.

Wow, that's almost a mathematical formula.  Do you find that really focusing on wellness like this helps you work toward achieving it?

[V-Adore]

Middle school was horrible for me too.

Middle school is invariably horrible for everyone.

a brief snapshot:

While shaving my legs, I notice the scars on my knee, and I think "damn you Ryan Rebenchuk!"

Man, I think everyone had a kid like this in their grade. I spent several years hoping constantly in the back of my brain that a kid named Bernard Solomon would just die. Just keel over of sudden unexplained everything failure.

If that seems harsh, let me explain: Bernard was a kid in my gym class who  harrassed me constantly. After a while, he'd show up at the municipal library to yell fat jokes at me while I was attempting to get some reading done. (I assume he went to the library for reasons other than yelling invective at me, but you never know.) Eventually this resulted in the closest I ever got to a fight, which resulted in a semi-tearful conversation with the vice principal, which resulted in the vice principal not doing shit, which resulted in the tiny but constant prayer that Bernard would just die.

(This was the same vice principal who went berserk at the airport when his Christmas-break flight was cancelled and had to be hauled off by security after screaming at the top of his lungs at the desk lady for about five minutes, so I guess my expectations should not have been high.)

[Bozack]

Yeah, I think it's sort of odd- for people like us (pseudo-nerdy, I guess is the term I would use), we seem to have really shitty times early in life, and then, as we grow older, we kind of come into our own. Actually, I don't know if this is the norm- maybe, without the internet, we would have all gone insane. Or become H.A.M. radio enthusiasts.
Middle school sucked for me; I don't actually remember most of it, but what I do remember (kicked in nads at school, threatened with knife at home) sucked hard on giant donkey balls. And, thinking back, I was pretty socially awkward+also a dick. Then, somewhere along the line, I got better, and now I do things on weekends. THE END.

 Actually, a few friends have a theory that I'm actually socially retarded and have no idea how to relate to people; however, I've read enough books to sythesize the personality of a normal human male.

[V-Adore]

Actually, I don't know if this is the norm- maybe, without the internet, we would have all gone insane. Or become H.A.M. radio enthusiasts.

You joke, but my elementary-school Gifted and Talented teacher was big into H.A.M. radio and tried to convert all of his young charges in turn. (In other ways he was an awesome, totally normal guy; I guess he was the one "normal person" statistical blip on the H.A.M.-radio-enthusiast band.) I recall being sort of mystified by the idea that you could use a radio and send your voice out to an entire world of possible listeners -- and then you can talk to people! Even people from really strange places!

(Strange, and somehow sad, to realize that I am even now living my childhood dream.)

[AlohaDawg]

Each second that goes by makes increases the difficulty level for self-fueled life change, so earlier is better. It is never too late to become healthy and well, either.

The first statement is definitely true.  I hope the second is also.

What are your six categories?

The model I like to use looks at Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Social, Occupational, and Spiritual dimensions of wellness. These are broad but cover for the most part wellness aspects of a healthy lifestyle. As I mentioned, some sense of core values is also important in that experiences are filtered through them to become skill, knowledge, wisdom or ability. And decisions and actions are arrived at through the filter of (core values + knowlege, skill, wisdom, ability + level of wellness in core attributes)  as well. Sounds like a character in an RPG, but really, aren't we all rolling D20s all day anyhow? The difference is that what happens inside of each of us is a lot less random.

Wow, that's almost a mathematical formula. Do you find that really focusing on wellness like this helps you work toward achieving it?

What I find often is that it helps people frame things better. What I think happens to a lot of people is that they never looked at a framework, a way to analyze their life's needs in a way that also allows them to set themselves up for accomplishment.  Looking at your own strengths and needs allows you to work towards general wellness. At the point where you have general wellness, you become capable of recognizing and appropriately handling opportunities to improve your life as well as handling threats to your wellness. I look at Wellness as generally having more pluses than minuses in each category, and having the categories more or less balanced. That is, for example, working on your physical wellness doesn't impact on your mental wellness (eating disorders, using steroids, excessive dieting, body image, et. cetera). A person in superb physical condition who neglects important relationships in his life is not well. A person so wrapped in spirituality that their emotional balance is affected is not well. And so on.

[AugustWest]

A pedantic note:  I think amateur radio enthusiats are "hams", a shortening/corruption of "amateur".  It's not an abbreviation (like H.U.G.S.Qu.A.D.).

[wombat]

I agree with earlier is better, but not necessarily with an increase in difficulty, at least not until well into the end game of life.  

I wonder how old you are?  Because the older I get the more I see that people around me are stuck where they are.  I don't think it's just my circumstances (first surrounded by people with tenure, then people with insane government job security).  When I quit my job to try to change careers one friend said that everyone she told this to said "Oh wow, I wish I could do that but I never could." These were all women in their late 30s and early 40s, hardly the end of life I hope.  But they really reacted like I'd done something almost superhuman.

The longer you do one thing or act one way, the deeper you dig the rut till you can't see over the edges to see what the other possible routes are.  And you accumulate mental and practical baggage (mortgage, family etc) - there's more stuff to carry and you can't just turn on a dime anymore, if you ever could.   It's maybe not age so much as accumulated time being one kind of person, but obviously that is only going to happen as you are alive for more years.

[wombat]

I guess what it comes down to is if you're going to let your life experiances be a sea anchor, or a sail.

I think I need to print this out and tape it to the wall.

[Limmo]

BTW: I'm changing industries and relocating to another state.  It's the biggest project of my life and I am geeked to pull this thing off.

Dammit, and I'm moving to the South Bay this month.  There goes the nearest TOUAMB person.  Where you moving to?

[AlohaDawg]

I guess what it comes down to is if you're going to let your life experiences be a sea anchor, or a sail.

I think I need to print this out and tape it to the wall.

Asherdan: this line is basically like treasure.