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[Bozack]

Ahh,  it's good to see continuity in Rays Place. And "kitty" is a lot better than Judas Fatback, although it still makes me think about havin' sex with an anime fangirl.

[CortJstr]

Hey, it looks like Ray at least read the Big Move letter but still no response. Granted it still would've been too late to help but it's always nice to get Ray's approval.

[linnea]

Hey, it looks like Ray at least read the Big Move letter but still no response. Granted it still would've been too late to help but it's always nice to get Ray's approval.

Hee! It's always a catch 22 with Ray. Either you provide him a mercifully brief description of said problem and he whines that you didn't provide enough detail, or you write a sufficient letter and his attention span PLUMMETS.

Here is the seven-page letter of infamy that Ray refused to address DUE TO PUNISHMENT:

Dear Ray,
I have a request for your advice. This is not about relationships or depression/suicide, incidentally. I wrote in a few weeks ago about how my fiancé left me after he returned from Iraq. Well, two days after I emailed you about that, I lost my job. Normally, my hell of depression would have made for a really bad situation, but my meds and family and friends helped me get through it.

Basically, I have a job offer up in Alaska, so I’m taking it. It’s pretty much all done except the paperwork. I’m going up there at the end of the month to check the place out. It’s an island in the Aleutian chain.

What would you advise someone who is moving 3,000 miles to the middle of nowhere? Besides taking a parka, I mean. I’m sick of being unemployed so I’m going to pack up my two Scottish Folds and bask in newfound employment. The problem is that I’ve never lived further than about 60 miles from where I was born. Any advice for a Colorado native who is moving to the Aleutian Islands?

I’m also a little nervous about moving Milan and Lennybruce (my cats) up to Alaska. I’m planning on having them sedated for the journey up there. Because the island is so remote, it takes about 2 days to travel up there from the Lower 48. The boys have never traveled anywhere for longer than an hour. They’re going to be sedated, but I was going to give them some snacks and magazines for the journey in case they wake up while we’re still in transit. Is there anything else that I should make sure that they have? What kinds of travel accommodations would a cat such as yourself require for such a trip?

Thanks for your time, Ray. I really love your advice column.

Peace out,
Somebody nice

Oh, and to address "kitty", I think it's great. You're right about the kawaii! ^__^ factor, though. Myself, I am a fan of the p-word, but I know a lot of people that just HATE it.

**EDIT** When I wrote the letter, I was unaware of the potential dangers for sedation. I guess that its effects are unpredictable at high altitudes, not to mention that it lowers the animal's core body temperature. So yeah, the boys will not be sedated.

[V-Adore]

"Kitty" actually seems pretty good, yeah. I also like "my center of gravity," which seems useful for polite company (and is almost anatomically accurate!).

I am fairly lukewarm on the rest of the column, except for the poem. That's a bitchin' poem.

[TALKYdude]

That poem really cracked me up, but as soon as I saw Somebody nice I had to stop reading and come back here to see if it was Linnea. Heh. I just went back and finished it.
The big meh was the reply to the Wellesley girl. I read that one twice trying to get it and didn't. Well, meh, then.
I liked him taking the opportunity to point out that he was only acting the hemorrhoid. He seemed anxious to clear that right up. Very funny.

[CortJstr]

Oh, and to address "kitty", I think it's great. You're right about the kawaii! ^__^ factor, though. Myself, I am a fan of the p-word, but I know a lot of people that just HATE it.

My previous SO also hated pussy so she insisted that I use cunt. No other female that I have ever met has understood this line of reasoning.

[Bozack]

My previous SO also hated pussy so she insisted that I use cunt. No other female that I have ever met has understood this line of reasoning.

Ha, I was with a girl once who hated "pussy" and "sex," so we were trying out other words. I got to "cunt" and I just had to shout "YE WEE FECKIN' COONT!," a la Trainspotting. And yet, somehow, I continue to occasionally have sex.

[jough]

I like "center of gravity" but not as much as "pink secret."