The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood You are on the Night Train. Five Hours have passed. Axl Rose is in the gym car. It's not what you expected.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Down

Author Topic: Area Wipes - 09/09  (Read 10064 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Formica

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 8
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 205
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2004, 05:42:31 pm »
Male fear of feminine products can be a tired theme... but 'stad succeeds in making it dope with the sweet, fresh scent of Beef's schitzophrenia.

And the thread title would have been the best line if the product name - "Knowing Smile" - had been included.

And where does Beef keep his cell phone?
Logged

arkabee

  • VIP
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 153
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1280
  • i still hate the new forum software.
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #16 on: September 09, 2004, 06:06:00 pm »
Quote from: "Formica"

And where does Beef keep his cell phone?


hmmmm.

i guess that explains why he's so damnedably irritated at having to answer it.
Logged
"God forbid I'd ever be separated from my Duran Duran for a single minute!"
-August West
"Maybe Hanson or the Jonas Brothers might finally lose their shit one day."
-Nabubrush

andalucia

  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 2
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1680
    • View Profile
    • http://www.awesomeblurry.com
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2004, 06:23:44 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
OT, do stores still do "price checks"? Because that would amplify Beef's horror nicely.


I was actually appalled at my own life taking a sitcomish turn the other day when a cashier had to repeatedly rescan for and discuss with an ajacent cashier the pricing of Things I was purchasing at the time.  I didn't think that actually happened in real life.
Logged
goose means greedy

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2004, 06:32:24 pm »
Quote from: "andalucia"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
OT, do stores still do "price checks"? Because that would amplify Beef's horror nicely.

I was actually appalled at my own life taking a sitcomish turn the other day when a cashier had to repeatedly rescan for and discuss with an ajacent cashier the pricing of Things I was purchasing at the time.  I didn't think that actually happened in real life.

The closest I've ever seen to an old fashioned price check is when the cashier at Whole Foods can't identify the lemon/mandarin orange hybrid somebody is trying to purchase and has to ask the customer what they hell that thing is. Then they look it up in their dandy flippy catalog and all is well again.
Logged

Bozack

  • Most Melancholy of Batmen
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1651
  • stop this car, i'm getting out
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2004, 07:51:35 pm »
Once, I was picking up condoms with A Lady, and a clerk helpfully informed us that, even if we DIDN'T have the "Club Card," they'd still give us a discount on the Trojan Brand Pleasure Chest.
Logged
Hey, things are going okay now!

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #20 on: September 09, 2004, 08:03:50 pm »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Once, I was picking up condoms with A Lady, and a clerk helpfully informed us that, even if we DIDN'T have the "Club Card," they'd still give us a discount on the Trojan Brand Pleasure Chest.


Dude, you are King of the Make Outs!
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #21 on: September 09, 2004, 08:22:04 pm »
Man, Bozack? You are rad. Rad.

And yeah, I have to agree with others -- Beef's sheer paranoia makes the strip. I especially like "Titty-Buxx" because, shit, now Beef is having to invent feminine products that will embarrass him.

If I may ask the guys of the board a question -- what precisely is so mortifying to guys about purchasing feminine products? I'm not questioning your right to be mortified, just its roots. For women, it's mortifying because you're basically saying either that it's That Time or that you've somehow managed to run out between Times, which implies unsavory activities; what's the deal for men, though? The worst it would appear to say to me is "I live with a Lady and am courteous enough to purchase several necessary supplies for the Lady."
Logged

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #22 on: September 09, 2004, 08:27:27 pm »
I think I speak for all of us when I say "Cooties."
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #23 on: September 09, 2004, 08:30:00 pm »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
I think I speak for all of us when I say "Cooties."

Fair enough. I had forgotten the all-pervasive effect of "germs" on buying habits.
Logged

arkabee

  • VIP
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 153
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1280
  • i still hate the new forum software.
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #24 on: September 09, 2004, 08:50:46 pm »
maybe i'm weird, but i don't mind buying tampons, or picking up the birth control prescription or whatnot.

it's like, i have a girl friend, and i have access to things, things that need stuff.  do you have a problem with that punk? well punk? i feel lucky!
Logged
"God forbid I'd ever be separated from my Duran Duran for a single minute!"
-August West
"Maybe Hanson or the Jonas Brothers might finally lose their shit one day."
-Nabubrush

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #25 on: September 09, 2004, 08:54:12 pm »
I would have been happier with the thread name being Valu-Douche. I share Jough's outrage.

Mega-Douche would be funny two - now with 75% bigger nozzle!

As for why we get the heebies and the jeebies about buying that stuff...because it's nasty. Guys don't need a bunch of weird stuff applied to their secret junk to feel 'Springtime Fresh'.

Related: My favorite thing that happens in the movie Clerks (I heard there was a sequel??) Is when Randall and Dante' are fighting and one of them maces the other full on with a bottle of FDS. That was some funny shit.
Logged

Formica

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 8
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 205
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #26 on: September 09, 2004, 08:57:17 pm »
To quote Hodge Podge of Bloom County, "What's feminine protection? A chartruse flamethrower?"
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #27 on: September 09, 2004, 09:47:21 pm »
It's not buying the Feminine Plumbing Products, it's the insinuation that the man buying them is totally whipped to the point where his woman has sent him out to procure said products.

I mean, if I'm at the store anyway and The Lady asks to pick up something, no problem.

It's those 2AM trips to the all night Walgreens to buy JUST an FPP that seems to make most men uncomfortable.

However, I don't mind said trips just because I could not give a fuck if anyone cares if I am buying something to "plug the leak" or not.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #28 on: September 09, 2004, 09:50:49 pm »
I think that there's a strong association with buying those products and being "whipped." Or living with your mom.

There have been rumors of Clerks 2: Hardly Clerkin' ever since the first came out. Lately I've heard buzzings of Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks but only from people mocking Kevin Smith for going against previous statements of being beyond poop and dick jokes thanks to the supposed failure of Jersey Girl.
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Area Wipes - 09/09
« Reply #29 on: September 10, 2004, 02:56:03 am »
No, Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks is official.

It's pretty much a stupid title because the Mel Gibson movie will be OLD NEWS by then (isn't it pretty much already?) and in two years it'll just seem SO dated.

Then again, the film he made before Jersey Girl referenced a 21 year old movie (at the time).
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Up
« previous next »