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[jough]

So if one can "self-blumpkin" what is the point?  Isn't a blumpkin supposed to be about the humiliation factor?

Can one humiliate oneself?

[Ben-San]

I think that if humiliating oneself sexually is possible, Frankenblumpkin is a likely candidate for successful methods.

[AlohaDawg]

So if one can "self-blumpkin" what is the point?  Isn't a blumpkin supposed to be about the humiliation factor?

Can one humiliate oneself?

I think the Blumpkin is both meant to appease the humiliation factor and offer something of a prostate rub during the sex act. The timing would have to be awfully good though.

[V-Adore]

I think starring in Frankenblumpkin VII is effectively excellent self-embarrassment.

Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*

Also, can anyone run a translation on LN's latest? I get the general gist (Asian kid threatens LN, LN gets him busted) but the words, they fail.

* Onstad seems to be working under the impression that the cashier has some sort of psychotic obsession with the Safeway Discount Card, whereas it's almost certainly more along the lines of "required to shill and get as many converts as possible as part of her job description." Also the 'face like pressed lunch meat' description was particularly tactless.

[arkabee]

Also, can anyone run a translation on LN's latest? I get the general gist (Asian kid threatens LN, LN gets him busted) but the words, they fail.

i told you before about that guy who tried to knife me.  well, tonight he drove by in his rice-mobile while i was at arby's.

he pulled a gun and aimed, but i was videotaping him and he got scared and drove off.  i got with uncle ray, and he ran the license plate number (he's friends with the police sergeant).  Ray and i have our differences, but we're blood and he was hella bent on revenge.

i went with the police to a safe distance from the guy's house, and i strolled up to make a positive ID.  once i'm sure, i let them know.

the police break in while the guys are playing xbox.  i mock-shot him with my hand/fingers.

great night.  i'm going to go get high.

[Choop]

Fuck that azn gangsta wannabe!
a little back y'all I laid it down about how Shirley Pang's old-country boyfriend tried to shank me, straight jumping me at Swensen's! all was down low the last couple weeks, but check it, today I was grufflin' some Arby's and the dude cold rolls up in his ricer!

A few posts ago I related the time when Shirley Pang's immigrant beau attacked me with a knife at Swensen's. Nothing has happened lately, but during lunch at Arby's today he arrived in his Japanese sports car.

purple puss cold aimed a barrel at me, but that ain't no. I yelled "rice boy ready fo' his money shot!?" and pointed. he saw the cam and yelled at his driver out to pull forward, but the camera cold followed them. I gave between-tha-bunzz tongue love to my Big Montana while they tried to dodge the lens. I got the plate and Uncle Ray ran it—he is chum pals with the police sergeant—and he got me their address with full blue backup. Uncle Ray and I got mad different ideas on my days, but blood is blood. he wanna see his LN avenged.

(Gang colors? Epithet?) pointed a gun at me, for which I would not stand. I drew his attention to the security camera and attempted to subvert its gaze, to no avail. While they continued, I returned to my meal and copied their license plate. Uncle Ray has a police officer friend and used the connection to find their address, issuing officers to the scene with me. He and I tend to disagree on how time should be spent, but we are family after all, and Uncle Ray doesn't want anybody to disrespect me.

blue dropped me a couple blocks from this azn's hole-up, and I tiptoe the rest, cold same clothes as lunchtime, kevlar under the K. Malone. I see the civic in question, and I nod to blue, who pull up and cut the gas.

The police let me out surreptisiously a short walk from the boyfriend's address, with a bulletproof vest under the same clothes he had last seen me wear. By the car's presense, I could surmise his, and I alerted the police, who arrive and shut off their engines.

I'm all about a light step up their apartment stairs, and through their window I can see them workin their xbox on a Phillips fiddy. I wave a couple blues up and they bust down the door. I got a good look at the b/j who dry-iced me, and mock-capped him as they dragged him by.

Quietly I crept up the stairs to his apartment and witnessed them playing video games with a Surround Sound system. I gave the go-ahead to some of the cops, who burst into the apartment. As the officers escorted him downstairs, I shot a make-believe gun in his direction.

sweet-ass night, all. gonna puff some dill and consider some ink on the premises, probly that mad band around the bicep, cold initials all worked in.

Have a good night. I'm going to get high and think about getting a tattoo - possibly an armband with my initials in it.

FIN

That's not as easy to put into English as I thought it would be. I'm further impressed at the amount of work that goes into the blogs.

[Choop]

Damn you arkabee!

[arkabee]

Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*

* Onstad seems to be working under the impression that the cashier has some sort of psychotic obsession with the Safeway Discount Card, whereas it's almost certainly more along the lines of "required to shill and get as many converts as possible as part of her job description." Also the 'face like pressed lunch meat' description was particularly tactless.

impression or experience?  at this point in my life, i'm suprised to meet check-out people who are either not mixing up a new batch of meth while ringing up my hungryman dinners, or visibly shaking because they spent their SScheck before filling out their Prozac Prescription.

i miss college greatly.  i have incredibly fond memories of the attractive people working the counter at the 24/7 food-e-mart.

[AlohaDawg]

Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*

For those of you who have never spent time here in Hawaii: the store discount cards are absolutely critical to survival. Routinely you save 25% on regular shopping. Most retail ventures here have secret "kama`aina" rates (you show your drivers license) which are about half. Everything works this way. The economy generally exists to screw the tourists as much as possible.

[V-Adore]

God bless, Arkabee and Choop. God bless.

[arkabee]

Damn you arkabee!

you did yours better.


tourism- i have lived in areas wherein the local economy is based upon the petulant offerings of virilently obnoxious vacationers.  it sucks.

to look into the eyes of someone who holds you and your environs in contempt, in contempt because it is all only good enough for them to go to get away from the things that drive them mad.

to look into the their eyes and know that you could stuff them into the walk in freezer, but that there certainly would not be enough room back there for all of them.

to this day i have issues with those hailing from chicago and boston.  and gigntic pancakes.

[CortJstr]

See around here we just have a concentration of tourist-screwing establishments all concentrated in one area. Once you venture away from it then prices become more reasonable. And in some cases you only have to go a couple blocks.

[AlohaDawg]

Damn you arkabee!

you did yours better.


tourism- i have lived in areas wherein the local economy is based upon the petulant offerings of virilently obnoxious vacationers.  it sucks.

to look into the eyes of someone who holds you and your environs in contempt, in contempt because it is all only good enough for them to go to get away from the things that drive them mad.

to look into the their eyes and know that you could stuff them into the walk in freezer, but that there certainly would not be enough room back there for all of them.

to this day i have issues with those hailing from chicago and boston.  and gigntic pancakes.

I like the ones who leave Waikiki to get more local flavor and bitch and complain about how local people are.

Of course, being a haole, I get some shit anyhow. It's interesting from my white male perspective to be a racial minority. Of course, it's a little like post-colonial Africa where the white minority has disproportionate financial and political power, but you know.

[Limmo]

Do your kids have to deal with "kill haole day"?

[AlohaDawg]

Haven't experienced that. I know that haole kids in other parts of the island have much more trouble in school than mine will face. The town I live in (Kailua) is the highest concentration of white kids and her elementary school is a charter school in an exclusive beach neighborhood (we don't live there) called Lanikai. It's only about 5 miles from our house in Enchanted Lake.