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@achewood Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.

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Author Topic: Pipe Dreamin'  (Read 6452 times)

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Choop

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« on: November 17, 2004, 02:47:31 pm »
So the local multi-state lotto is up to $149 million, which means that in under a week it'll get split among some 30-person office pool; I didn't win it last night at $126 mil. Here were the plans of what to do with the $65 mil after-tax lump sum, in order:

  • Pay off all the back debt
  • Pay off and donate the car to the Salvation Army, buy a new convertible and something else
  • Pay off the landlord's mortgage on this and his houses
  • Pay off the parents' mortgage
  • Give $1 mil each to the parents, my brother, and the wife's two best friends
  • Invest $7 mil into blue chips and $3 mil into aggressive stocks
  • Travel all of Europe for a couple months w/ language tutors
  • Renovate an old mansion to include a huge modern kitchen, a library/office lined w/ shelves & a wetbar, a theater, and a pub
  • Invest in our favorite local restaurants as silent partners
  • Hire a personal/business/research assistant
  • Donate $5 mil to our favorite charities: Habitat for Humanities, Planned Parenthood, Doctors Without Borders, Susan G. Komen BCF, and whichever Head Start program turns out to be the best after some research.
  • Pay off our favorite sites' bills (including this one) for a year
  • Support a Green Party candidate in a realistic election for local office
What would you do with big-ass lottery winnings?
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wombat

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« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2004, 04:01:56 pm »
Bribe someone to give me a job, actually.  OK, a job that didn't start until after I'd taken a trip to Japan for a few weeks.

Then when I wasn't so crazy bored anymore I'm sure I'd think of some other stuff.
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

CortJstr

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« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2004, 04:38:52 pm »
Buy a townhouse or condo someplace in Arlington.
Buy me & the SO cars that handle better in the snow
Hire a financial planner

From there on I guess it depends.
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slink

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« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2004, 04:59:10 pm »
Buy a Skyline R-33 GTR.
Buy a full on Pro Tools studio setup, and use my 002 with a laptop only.
Buy a bunch more music and games and DVDs.
Buy a bigass house in the country.
Buy my friend a bigass house in the country and lots of stuff.
Then give my parents loads too.
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AugustWest

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« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2004, 05:00:13 pm »
Two chicks at the same time!
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Gimpson

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« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2004, 05:00:47 pm »
Buy a bunch of video equipment and make a movie with my pals from the student TV station in college.
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andalucia

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Pipe Dreamin'
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2004, 05:04:01 pm »
1.  Figure out how much ~6+ years of university are going to cost, put that aside.
2.  Record shopping.
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jough

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« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2004, 05:39:58 pm »
$65,000,000 worth of DVDs.
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jough

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« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2004, 06:02:24 pm »
Ash, I don't know if you're serious or not, but I see huge market potential there: ex-girlfriends, bosses, joke gifts for friends, etc.  A nicely wrapped gift turd would sell greatly.

I wonder if it's legal to mail shit...
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Choop

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« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2004, 06:10:54 pm »
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AugustWest

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« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2004, 06:53:09 pm »
Quote from: "Asherdan"
I figured it was too good for me to be original on.  Nice link.

ALSO: This little dream of a venture is coming from a guy who mailed a traffic killed stray cat to the university president.  I kept 'Fritz' in the freezer for a week, then boxed and labeled him up and sent him via the campus post office.  The included note read "The new vendor's campus meal plan closely resembles the unfortunate contents of this box".


Dang.  Told you I was hard core!
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2004, 07:28:08 pm »
I would start that revenge-for-hire business I've always wanted.

I would buy a big-ass house on Lanikai Beach and rent it to celebrities with more money than common sense. Then I'd charge non-celebrities to smell the sheets and seat cushions.

I'd rent a bunch of houses on the beach all at once and fly 100 friends and family in for a huge weeklong party. I'd pay Hank Jr and Kid Rock to host the party and do a couple of short sets. 25 male and female models will be mingling with the crowd. A trapeze. Monkeys juggling chainsaws. Tony Orlando and Dawn impersonators. Snoop Dogg and a Girls Gone Wild crew. Hookers dressed as nuns.

This will  be a seriously degrading experience and I hope you all come.
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Limmo

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« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2004, 07:35:58 pm »
Beach house in Malibu.  House for Mom in California.  Recording studio.  Seasonal rentals in places like Cape Cod, Aspen and Manhattan.  529s for Audrey and any other kids in the whole family, or for friends.  Investments.  Traveling.  Charitable contributions to organizations like People For the American Way.   AMG Mercedes.  Find a midnight-blue 1979 Camaro Berlinetta and take it to West Coast Customs for pimping.  

Stuff like that.
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2004, 09:37:22 pm »
Quote from: "Choopernickel"
Legal AND profitable!


Well, not technically....

Quote from: "DogPoop Salesperson"
No, real dog poop will NOT make it past postal inspectors these days.  Sigh.  What's a person to do?  DogDoo.com has come up with the perfect solution for you!  Make your feelings perfectly clear with a custom, hand-made dog poop that looks and feels so REAL that no one can tell otherwise.  Don't believe us?  Order one to yourself today and be amazed.  Each poop is lovingly hand crafted into the most perfect one-of-a-kind masterpiece that you will ever have the honor of purchasing.  Legal?  Yes.  Disgusting?  Yes.  What sort of strange people would sell such a thing?  The same sort of people that would buy such a thing.  Indulge yourself.  Fulfill your desire to send only the best in practical jokes.
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slink

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« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2004, 11:22:06 pm »
Quote from: "DogPoop Salesperson"
Order one to yourself today and be amazed.


Erm... Nah, I'm OK thanks. I'll take your word for it.
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