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Give it to charity

3 (20%)

Deep-fry that sucka

3 (20%)

Brine it for 3 days in the 'fridge and then roast

5 (33.3%)

Roast it in one of those ingenious oven-bag things

3 (20%)

Host a turkey demolition derby

1 (6.7%)

Stuff it with CowboyNeal and bake

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Voting closed: December 10, 2004, 10:52:56 pm

[linnea]

My employer, as a holiday gift, gave us vouchers to take to one of the two grocers on the island for a FREE TURKEY. I got a beautiful 13-lb specimen. As soon as I get a battery for my camera, I will take pictures.

Although I would love to do a Turducken, I don't think that is going to work because I am debt-ridden and do not have access to a duckling, chicken, andouille sausage, and all the other fixings that Chef Paul Prudhomme (Turducken Inventor) would recommend. A friend of mine said something about having a deep-fryer for the turkey! Although that sounds like a terrifying heart-attack-in-a-bucket, people tell me that deep-frying an entire turkey is delicious.

So what are your thoughts? I have a free and delicious frozen turkey. Post your nominations!

[wombat]

I vote against the frying.  Here's an excerpt from a news article:

If you spend most of the year nuking Lean Cuisines, do you think you have the culinary know-how to tackle a deep-fried turkey that's submerged in gallons of boiling peanut oil over an open flame?

The opinion of many safety experts is no.

Since 1998, more than 75 turkey-fryer accidents have occurred, and last Thanksgiving 15 people set their houses on fire, according to government reports.

This year, the American Burn Association, the National Fire Protection Association and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission have all issued warnings about this high-risk cooking technique.

[St_Zartan]

You left off my favorite activity.

That is just one of the biggest fuck yous to every living thing I have ever seen.

[AlohaDawg]

I vote against the frying.  Here's an excerpt from a news article:

If you spend most of the year nuking Lean Cuisines, do you think you have the culinary know-how to tackle a deep-fried turkey that's submerged in gallons of boiling peanut oil over an open flame?

The opinion of many safety experts is no.

Since 1998, more than 75 turkey-fryer accidents have occurred, and last Thanksgiving 15 people set their houses on fire, according to government reports.

This year, the American Burn Association, the National Fire Protection Association and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission have all issued warnings about this high-risk cooking technique.

And yet, smoking and driving automobiles are still legal.

75 accidents and 15 house fires across the US population is extremely non-significant, even if you take into account only those deep frying turkeys. Accidents like this exist to cleanse the gene pool, and I'm all for that.

Linnea, if you have the ability to use that turkey then by all means enjoy it but if it's more than you are gonna be able to use, donate it...

[wombat]

Well, sure, it's not a LOT of house fires... but more than if you were using the turkey for bowling, say.

[CortJstr]

They're also almost all people who ignored the directions and put the fryer on grass and too close to the house.

[side_show]

My parents deep fried a turkey for (Canadian) Thanksgiving a couple months ago.  

Everyone kept saying things like "it's surprisingly moist!"  And my mom complained about it being much more work because she had to make separate gravey and stuffing since and deepfried bird doesn't provide these things.  I actually thought it was rather gross - not that it was particularly greasy, cause it actually wasn't, but, well, it was a deep fried turkey... there's something dirty about deep frying things on the floor of the family patio.

My mom then insisted we watch the video that came with the deep fryer, mostly because the guy on the film seemed to have a total disregard for his own safty, or any sense of cleanliness.  It was pretty funny to watch him tossing a chicken in while grease flew every where.  Also, if you want to season meat at you have to use a syringe and do this weird surgical proceedure to inject the seasoning in since putting herbs on the outside just results in seasoning floating in the oil, and not effecting the turkey (more oil for this, but with herbs) .  With my sister's mentally ill, alcholic fiance/boyfriend there (they were engaged, but since broke up two times, yet she still wears the ring, so who knows) and my mom insisting we eat at 2:00 -(was it dinner or lunch? - we'll never know) everything was rather stilted and awkward, as it is when it comes to all family get-togethers these days.  It was an all round bizarre and uncomfortable afternoon.

[wombat]

They're also almost all people who ignored the directions and put the fryer on grass and too close to the house.

Well, all I can say is, even if you ignore the directions and bowl with the turkey inside the house you STILL have no chance of burning it down.

[Bozack]

Man, it wouldn't be thanksgiving without awkwardness! Around here, we don't call them "alcoholic" or "mentally ill," we call 'em FAMILY!

[AugustWest]

My wife's employer, UPS, used to do this.  She'd bring home an actual turkey (frozen) from work.  Now they've gone to the voucher system, which, while it allows for more flexibility, doesn't have quite the cachet of toting thousands of frozen avians around the workplace.

[CortJstr]

My dad's job still gives out the frozen variety. Each year we'd have to debate if we'd eat it just for the sake of tradition or donate it and buy something we actually liked.

[V-Adore]

Man, and to think the most dysfunctional my Thanksgiving got this year was when I woke up and found my SO's father using what I thought was my laptop. (Turned out he had one of the exact same model. Go fig.)

Anyway, on the turkey: just do it any way you want, and the good Lord will provide.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Many years ago, when I was in Albuquerque being GenX Poster Boy, my then-employer (a hotel) gave everyone a big-ass turkey as our Christmas bonus.  I had never cooked a turkey before, so it was time to learn.  We had a whole bunch of friends over a week or so before Christmas and had a full-blown turkey dinner.  It actually turned out quite nicely.

Now I fear no turkey.  Never done the deep-frying thing, just because it seems like more trouble than it's worth.  I am a big fan of the brining, though.  I believe this is the recipe I used the last time I did Thanksgiving dinner, probably two or three years ago.

This year for Christmas dinner we are getting an organic, certified humanely treated turkey from a fancy-ass Virginia farm.  I believe this will be the treatment--nothing too elaborate, as these turkeys are just bursting with flavor all on their own.  Can't wait.

[side_show]

Update:

I tentivly inquired on the way home from my grandpa's birthday yesterday how the turkey would be served for x-mas, the answer, it will again be deep fried.  Sigh.  Also, no confirmation as to the time the meal will be served, I'm gunning for 5:45 am this time.