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[V-Adore]

Funny stuff as always, but I remain slightly puzzled by the inclusion of a note obviously directed at Teodor and Teodor alone. How much dirty laundry can the reading mind take?

Also, the image of beef fed on foie gras is lovely and disturbing. I'm going to try to psychically beam it to my prissy vegetarian friend down the hall.

[CortJstr]

Reposted for those not on the mailing list:

Achewood Town Newsletter for December 14, 2004

(unsubscribe information at bottom)

Dear Friend of Achewood,

Happy Holidays! It has been quite a year for Achewood. You visited our
site in record numbers, and in return we delineated a visual narrative
in which a cat aspires to sell clean tacos. There was also a
storyline-type thing wherein an evil shoe with an MBA caused hassles.
Several characters started blogs, and for the first time ever we
auctioned original Achewood paintings on eBay (one's up right now, in
fact). Thank you for being at the party for twelve more months.

IN THIS ISSUE

* Shop the Achewood Store This Holiday Season! Deadlines Fast
Approaching.

* Philippe Needs to Have Good Holiday Memories, Téodor

* Ray Ordered Omaha Steaks For Everyone

-+--------------------+---------------------+-

* Shop the Achewood Store!

http://www.achewood.com/shop/

Deadlines approaching fast! Even if your honey or knucklehead doesn't
yet follow the strip, they'll appreciate our one-of-a-kind gear. Many
new items, including barware, lip balm, keychains, magnets, and an
expanded line of QuickShip apparel. Order with confidence right up
until December 20 for delivery by December 24 (USA only). Cook
yourself an egg and peruse. -- Sorry, the holiday shipping deadline
for non-USA orders has passed --  

* Philippe Needs to Have Good Holiday Memories, Téodor

Philippe is pretty young, Téodor. He is only five. His holiday
memories are particularly precious at this stage. This is when he
should be surrounded by the fragrant fresh-cut wreath and tree, thick
eggnog, festive decorations, and hot baked cookies in the shape of
holly leaves and stockings. If he wants to destroy an old pair of your
briefs in order to use its elastic waistband as the drawstring of a
homemade crossbow, encourage his inventiveness. It will come to no
harm. Maybe you owe him an apology.  

* Ray Ordered Omaha Steaks For Everyone

In a fit of magnanimity, largesse, and VSOP, Ray ordered Omaha Steak
gift packs for everyone whose name he could remember while on the
phone with the Omaha Steak representative. For the most part he
ordered bacon-wrapped filets mignons, but for his friend Roast Beef he
ordered the foie gras-fed Angus cheeks, a Platinum Class item known
only to a signature few. In recognition of his premium purchase the
Omaha Steak representative, Jill, clicked on an order-form button
which will cause a set of embroidered Omaha Steak golf club head
covers to be sent along with the order. Ray will throw these in the
trash as soon as he receives them.

-+--------------------+---------------------+-

Well, that's about it. I hope you have a fine 2005, free of disease
and other major maladies. I know I will.  

Best Regards,

Chris Onstad

[CortJstr]

Also, the image of beef fed on foie gras is lovely and disturbing. I'm going to try to psychically beam it to my prissy vegetarian friend down the hall.

Word. I'll help beam as best I can.

[MattFish]

I have a confession to make: I am extremely susceptible to hollow corporate gestures of faux-generosity and gratitude for my patronage, such as gifts of marginally useful company-sponsored and logo-engraved goods, like Jill is displaying in this instance. Upon receiving said token, some likely-indoctrined graciousness instinct undoubtedly rears its ugly head and causes all manner of fawning uttrances of the "how nice of them" and "they shouldn't have" variety to protrude from my otherwise sufficiently cynical and sensible countenance.

My first Verbosity-Post^TM. I'm growing up!