Also, Miles seems to have some problems.
Eh, I made most of that shit up. Except for the part about being 25 without a degree...and the dead end jobs...and the failed relationships...
oh god...
i'm going to write a selfhelp book one day, and chapter one is going to be:
"breathe"
chapter two will probably be:
"remembering to keep following the advice of chapter one,
now it is time to drink until you can't feel the pain,
or anything else,
ever again."
fuck you Dr. Phil.
fuck you to hell.
i guess chapter three will be:
"you awake? good. no, really.
remember: it's _always_ good to wake. eventually. you might need to go back to sleep right away, but remember:
breathe.
you can't breathe if you never wake up.
anyways, now, choose a pop self help guru.
place their image in your mind.
got one?
(and yes, it's ok to pick me, so long as you bought this book,
and didn't steal it from the public library or something).
ok, now, direct every negative feeling you have, have had, or will have at that santimonious blowing asshole.
and, um, prolly drink some more."
chapter 4: When to Stop:
"if you have liver failure, or the sanctimonious blowing asshole spontaneously combusts, your journey is complete.
Congratulations!"