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[AugustWest]

When I wasn't thinking about Hunter Thompson today, I was thinking about Paris Hilton.

My first and most primal reaction to Paris is hatred.  Then I tried to dig a little deeper into my feelings about her?  Why?  

Do I hate her because she's inherited incredible wealth through no effort of her own?  Not really -- she had no control over that.

Because she's stupid and vacuous?  Not really -- lots of people are dumb as rocks and shallower than the gene pool in my home state.  And I'm not convinced that the shallow/dumb thing isn't all an act anyway.

Why then?  Then I thought some more.

Does anybody really like Paris Hilton?  Admire or respect her?  Not in my experience.  She's a clown, a buffoon.  She's somebody to be made fun of.  She's Pauly Shore.  She's Vegetable Brain.

So I realized.  I don't really hate Paris Hilton (or the character she plays on TV.)  I hate the overcorporatized, lowest common denominator, sick fuck*ng system that shoves her down our throat as an acceptable form of entertainment.

Paris Hilton is really pretty pathetic.  Isn't that what her shows have all been about?  "Look here are two stupid-ass rich girls who are utterly clueless and obnoxious!  Laugh at them!"  I hate the part of our culture that thinks that's worth watching and I hate the fucks who foist it on us.  

Paris, on the other hand, is just doing what rich people usually do -- make more money.  Sure, she does it in a particularly soul-sucking way, but what the hell -- what the fuck else is she capable of?

[St_Zartan]

August, if I could slap the smug fuck*ng smirk right off of her fuck-me-right-in-the-talk-hole face on Pay-Per-View, I'd be rich, too.

But money wouldn't change me, baby. I might play a lot more pinball is all.

She is a terrible, self-absorbed cunt, and it's pretty fuck*ng clear that this condition goes right to the bone, like Rabies - too deeply ingrained to be fixed. Every fuck*ng movement, every "accidental" crotch shot, every meet-me-at-recess double entendre, every little twitch and tic all alone straining out a series of tight, miserable coke shits tweaks an overdeveloped nerve at the base of her brain that basically squirts a CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE EXCELLENT message up into the parts that make policy. F. Scott Fitzgerald's Buchanans were, above all, careless people. That's the gooey fruit filling of this problem, and all the attendant hate -

Not a goddamned thing she ever does will ever have any fuck*ng consequences, neither internally nor externally, because she's a silver spoon virus with marketable nipples.

[robot_roll_call]

I have noticed that Paris Hilton operates on a principle called "Perpetual Fame" in which she is famous for being famous. I suggest we hook her up to a machine with science and convert this into energy for cars, third world countries, spaceships, etc. It would be the only useful service she would ever provide humanity.

[Bobby Isosceles]

When I wasn't thinking about Hunter Thompson today, I was thinking about Paris Hilton.

My first and most primal reaction to Paris is hatred.  Then I tried to dig a little deeper into my feelings about her?  Why?  

Do I hate her because she's inherited incredible wealth through no effort of her own?  Not really -- she had no control over that.

Because she's stupid and vacuous?  Not really -- lots of people are dumb as rocks and shallower than the gene pool in my home state.  And I'm not convinced that the shallow/dumb thing isn't all an act anyway.

Why then?  Then I thought some more.

Does anybody really like Paris Hilton?  Admire or respect her?  Not in my experience.  She's a clown, a buffoon.  She's somebody to be made fun of.  She's Pauly Shore.  She's Vegetable Brain.

So I realized.  I don't really hate Paris Hilton (or the character she plays on TV.)  I hate the overcorporatized, lowest common denominator, sick fuck*ng system that shoves her down our throat as an acceptable form of entertainment.

Paris Hilton is really pretty pathetic.  Isn't that what her shows have all been about?  "Look here are two stupid-ass rich girls who are utterly clueless and obnoxious!  Laugh at them!"  I hate the part of our culture that thinks that's worth watching and I hate the fucks who foist it on us.  

Paris, on the other hand, is just doing what rich people usually do -- make more money.  Sure, she does it in a particularly soul-sucking way, but what the hell -- what the fuck else is she capable of?

Actually, to be more of a reductionist, I don't think you hate the overcoroporatized, lowest common denominator, sick fuck*ng system, etc. I think you wouldn't give a shit about Paris Hilton OR the system if you were as rich as she is. So this vitriol can be traced back to a fact that you think you deserve the wealth and influence and power (and she, among others, doesn't). You want wealth; you can't have it, so you hate those who do. Greed sublimates to anger. Quite literally, anger is a thief.

[pmcd9]

I hate Paris Hilton [and the other one either too, don't forget the other one], but there's no passion in it because I've been pretty successful at avoiding them.  My consumption of mainstream media is dwindling.  My primary exposure to Paris Hilton is in the form of adverts for her show which air during The Simpsons.

~Paul

[AugustWest]

When I wasn't thinking about Hunter Thompson today, I was thinking about Paris Hilton.

My first and most primal reaction to Paris is hatred.  Then I tried to dig a little deeper into my feelings about her?  Why?  

Do I hate her because she's inherited incredible wealth through no effort of her own?  Not really -- she had no control over that.

Because she's stupid and vacuous?  Not really -- lots of people are dumb as rocks and shallower than the gene pool in my home state.  And I'm not convinced that the shallow/dumb thing isn't all an act anyway.

Why then?  Then I thought some more.

Does anybody really like Paris Hilton?  Admire or respect her?  Not in my experience.  She's a clown, a buffoon.  She's somebody to be made fun of.  She's Pauly Shore.  She's Vegetable Brain.

So I realized.  I don't really hate Paris Hilton (or the character she plays on TV.)  I hate the overcorporatized, lowest common denominator, sick fuck*ng system that shoves her down our throat as an acceptable form of entertainment.

Paris Hilton is really pretty pathetic.  Isn't that what her shows have all been about?  "Look here are two stupid-ass rich girls who are utterly clueless and obnoxious!  Laugh at them!"  I hate the part of our culture that thinks that's worth watching and I hate the fucks who foist it on us.  

Paris, on the other hand, is just doing what rich people usually do -- make more money.  Sure, she does it in a particularly soul-sucking way, but what the hell -- what the fuck else is she capable of?

Actually, to be more of a reductionist, I don't think you hate the overcoroporatized, lowest common denominator, sick fuck*ng system, etc. I think you wouldn't give a shit about Paris Hilton OR the system if you were as rich as she is. So this vitriol can be traced back to a fact that you think you deserve the wealth and influence and power (and she, among others, doesn't). You want wealth; you can't have it, so you hate those who do. Greed sublimates to anger. Quite literally, anger is a thief.

Ah, the "You're just jealous" response.  Perhaps that's part of it.  But I don't think envy explains it all.  I don't feel the same level of disgust for say, Hillary Duff or Ashlee Simpson, whom I view as equally manufactured celebrities.  I don't hate Bill Gates (though perhaps I should).  It's not just greed.

Also, Paris Hilton has influence and power?  Over what?

[slink]

Re AW's post and all since...

I hate her for the same reasons. Mainly the, people watch this. factor... I also hate her for being dumb as a brick. But I do really despair of the entertainment industry selling everything on sex and stupidity. I mean, the reality TV world and all that. I mean, 'The Swan' on Fox, is possibly one of the sickest show ideas I have ever seen.
You can watch corpses being dissected on TV.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!

Also... Stupidest. name. ever.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Ah, the "You're just jealous" response.  Perhaps that's part of it.  But I don't think envy explains it all.  I don't feel the same level of disgust for say, Hillary Duff or Ashlee Simpson, whom I view as equally manufactured celebrities.  I don't hate Bill Gates (though perhaps I should).  It's not just greed.

Also, Paris Hilton has influence and power?  Over what?

Well, more people care about what happens to Paris Hilton than you (or me, or even Ashlee Simpson, since Paris is the flavor of the moment). That's sure to sting a little. Bill Gates keeps to himself, but Paris rubs in the fact that she has the money and people care about her.

[MattFish]

Also, Paris Hilton has influence and power?  Over what?

Inexplicably over millions of Americans and their television sets during Prime Time.

No matter how ludicrous it seems that watching the exploits of a skanky dolt in a  faux giraffe-out-of-water is classified as entertainment these days, the truth of the matter is they wouldn't have made a sequel to the first one had it tanked royally. Someone must actually watch the crap.

[CortJstr]

I have noticed that Paris Hilton operates on a principle called "Perpetual Fame" in which she is famous for being famous. I suggest we hook her up to a machine with science and convert this into energy for cars, third world countries, spaceships, etc. It would be the only useful service she would ever provide humanity.

There are a few people who fall into that boat of famous for being famous. Zsa Zsa Gabor (sp?) springs to mind. As well as that woman who used to guest host the Tonight Show. What's her face? Joan Rivers.

But I think the Us Weekly book Brad & Jen is sadder than Paris Hilton. Actually I think the fact that Us Weekly exists is pretty sad on its own.

[andalucia]

But I think the Us Weekly book Brad & Jen is sadder than Paris Hilton. Actually I think the fact that Us Weekly exists is pretty sad on its own.

book.


book?


Someone should tell them that is not what books are for.

[pmcd9]

Someone should tell them that's not what books are for

That's probably not a big seller [unless it has lots of pictures].  People who are so interested in Brad and Jen they would read a book about it are likely illiterate.  Those people need the tv.

~Paul

[CortJstr]

Someone should tell them that's not what books are for

That's probably not a big seller [unless it has lots of pictures].  People who are so interested in Brad and Jen they would read a book about it are likely illiterate.  Those people need the tv.

Sad but true. Right now it's ranked ~6,000 in Amazon. Jon Stewart was making fun of it last week. Apparently in the first page they compare the breakup to the shot heard round the world and the bombing of Pearl Harbor. I shit you not.

I didn't even know they were dating.

[edit: my coworker just informed me that they were married.]

[MSC]

I think the most interesting entry in Paris's phone book is that she has Super Dave (Osborne)'s number.  Super Dave!

Also, regarding the strip.  I enjoy the return to larger panels, I like the perspective on Ray's kitchen counter, and I like the fact that Beef has drunk the least amount of beer.

[arkabee]

AW- yer post/rant = brilliant.
St Zartan- yer's too.

inre: paris hilton = "hot" vis a vis attractiveness.  i find her face to be oddly shaped and that it evokes a sense of physical disgust.  

Also, Paris Hilton has influence and power?  Over what?

i liken paris hilton to a hammer.  unless someone/something is swinging it, it's not going to do much but be a paperweight.

her fame, like many other's, is an Ouroboros.  there is a line where after "it takes money to make money" becomes ridiculously obvious, and Ms. Hilton exists a distance across that line that approaches infinity.  There are those who "defend" her, positing that while she inherited/stood to inherit oodles of cashola (money, mo money, MO money), she was able to create a fortune of her own.  Such quibbling is the more ridiculous given her "unique" (compared to people who have to work or even shop at Wal-Mart) position across that line.

There is a system that exists, that i think could be defined mathematically.  there are circles within circles intersecting circles ad infinitum.  I am not convinced that the point of Hilton occupies an area within a circle that is even based on the same mathematics as the circle my point occurs within.

tomorrow on Achewood:  Alice Stuffed Animals and Talking Cats argue over who Hates Gravity More.