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[slink]

I can't actually remember any occasion in which I got hit in the balls. I know I have though, I guess I just deleted it from memory. The only instance I can think of, the guy was trying to be a smartarse and play a trick on me, by kneeing me in the groin. Only he missed and hit my thigh instead. So I killed him.

[Ben-San]

My first groin-agony experience was a swing from a baseball bat. This was only one of many deciding factors in my quitting Little League.

However, as an advantage, I never bitched about the pain from dental or medical whatevers, because they did not hurt as badly as being whacked in the groin with a baseball bat.

[CortJstr]

I used to wrestle and we had a move called the high crotch. The fireman's carry was also less than comfortable in the groinal region.

Oddly enough when I did stage combat and we practiced contact kicks to the groin I never once got hit in a painful manner.

[St_Zartan]

Third grade. This girl had, for the reason kids in third grade do anything, brought a nifty new stopwatch to school, and had been wearing it around her neck all day, making a big show out of timing fuck*ng everything. I was intensely fascinated by anything electronic, especially if it was portable and had - ghasp! - LCD, so this was driving me insane.

NO WAIT YOU DON'T SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING HONEST

At recess, I asked her if I could look at it - meaning, as you know, hold it, mess with it, etc. (That would be an excellent sentence to take out of context.) She handed it over and then - I swear this is true - immediately screamed GIMME BACK MY STOPWATCH. Followed up by the proverbial shot to the fig preserves. WHO TEACHES THIRD GRADE GIRLS TO DO THIS

[Golfhaus]

I am, frankly, appalled by the number of guys here whose crotch kicks/knees/jabs came at the hands of other guys. This is not right, people. That is definitely Out Of Bounds Behavior.

Stop the man-on-man violence!

THIS IS WHY SOCIETY IS FUCKED.

[Bobby Isosceles]

I am, frankly, appalled by the number of guys here whose crotch kicks/knees/jabs came at the hands of other guys. This is not right, people. That is definitely Out Of Bounds Behavior.

Stop the man-on-man violence!

THIS IS WHY SOCIETY IS FUCKED.

What world do we live in where a thread can be taken to three pages on the subject of men's gonads being forcibly struck.

CLOSE THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MERCY.

[pmcd9]

What world do we live in where a thread can be taken to three pages on the subject of men's gonads being forcibly struck.

CLOSE THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MERCY.

You've got a point Bobby.  If you mention Chinese food in Greenland you get booted with extrememe predjudice, but the crushed gonad talk gets a free pass.  Meanwhile V watches with the hint of a smile as each new horror story appears.

~Paul

[Bobby Isosceles]

What world do we live in where a thread can be taken to three pages on the subject of men's gonads being forcibly struck.

CLOSE THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MERCY.

You've got a point Bobby.  If you mention Chinese food in Greenland you get booted with extrememe predjudice, but the crushed gonad talk gets a free pass.  Meanwhile V watches with the hint of a smile as each new horror story appears.

~Paul

Maybe she is organizing her own trip, not to Greenland, but to crush men's nuts.

[V-Adore]

God. Third fuck*ng grade. Street hocket in gym. I was goalie. A slapshot with one of those tiny, steel-hard rubber balls we used in lieu of pucks. Straight to the Mean Bean Machine.
GOD!

This reminds me distinctly of taking at least one lacrosse ball to the decolletage during eighth-grade gym. (Who lets eighth-graders play lacrosse, anyway? Jesus Christ.) That said, entirely different worlds of pain, right there.

[ferocious j]

I actually nutted myself with a really big stick (the broken-off handle of a shovel) trying to move a gigantic rock once.  This was the moment I discovered that the moment preceding the freight train of agony has a soundtrack.

It is not a good soundtrack.

[V-Adore]

What world do we live in where a thread can be taken to three pages on the subject of men's gonads being forcibly struck.

CLOSE THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MERCY.

You've got a point Bobby.  If you mention Chinese food in Greenland you get booted with extrememe predjudice, but the crushed gonad talk gets a free pass.  Meanwhile V watches with the hint of a smile as each new horror story appears.

~Paul

On a serious modly note: This thread is old enough that I don't really care. The Greenland thing hit immediately, the day of the strip being posted, whereas nobody cares to still talk about this strip. So!

Also, there is still a part of me that sort of finds racking funny. Not a big part, and it stopped aging at about 14 anna half, but it's there. (And reminded of the first real-life racking I observed -- when one of the guys I played AD&D with disapproved of the DM's plot twist and responded with swift gonad justice. Way to end a game in its tracks.)

[CortJstr]

swift gonad justice.

I am totally stealing this phrase. Damn that's good.

[miles]

Stop the man-on-man violence!

THIS IS WHY SOCIETY IS FUCKED.

Preach it, Brother Haus!

[AlohaDawg]

The worst nutting of my life, I was about 27. Sure I've been kicked, kneed and headbutted, treed and bicycle-posted in the yarbles plenty of times. This was the worst, though.

There was a place on the West Side of Cleveland we used to go to with our softball team for batting cages. I was the token breeder in a gay league on the West Side since at the time, I was working in the STD/HIV program and I knew a lot of gay guys back then. Anyhow, they also had this thing called a fielding cage. You put the money in and go in the cage and random red-hot grounders and one-hoppers come shooting out of the machine at you. There were targets you could try to throw to on the edges of the cage. You can guess what happens next. A red hot one-hopper hits the ground right between my feet and bounces straight up. A MISSILE to both nuts. I honestly thought I was going to throw a blood clot to my brain die right then.

There's this weird silence between when the ball hits and when the alarms in your nuts go off, like your head is inside of a conch shell the size of a phone booth. Then there's this whitehot light that sears through the brain.
Then the silent, internal scream as your knees give out and you fall with your hands cupping the remains of your shattered organs. I actually looked in my #####es for blood. I rolled around for about 5 minutes trying to dodge the rest of the redhot grounders. It probably looked pretty funny. It wasn't. There were many offers for massages from my teammates. I gutted it out, though.

Anyhow, I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with Rebecca because I actually was worried that that injury destroyed the boys.  That was my last serious nutting, since then I've received the pediatric nutting several times.

[V-Adore]

Anyhow, I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with Rebecca because I actually was worried that that injury destroyed the boys.  That was my last serious nutting, since then I've received the pediatric nutting several times.

I am moderately surprised at how many of the guys who suffered severe nardo injuries have since managed to beget children, yes. Guess y'all just have incredible powers of fertility above and beyond the ken of mortal (wo)man.

Other fascinating byproduct of this thread: the remarkable number of synonyms for "getting hit in the nuts" at play here. "Nutting" is an entirely new one on me.