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@achewood There’s no Day for apologizing to our parents for all the stupid shit we put them through. Perhaps because we never finish before they die.

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Author Topic: April Fools! I mean blogs!  (Read 12782 times)

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CortJstr

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« Reply #45 on: April 10, 2005, 03:49:18 pm »
I googled and I still don't know what Beef's entry is talking about.

Pat's entry reminded me of a discussion in the Post on Wednesday about whether it's appropriate to wear jeans to dinner. My thought is if I'm too lazy to cook what makes you think I have the energy to change my #####? Plus then I'd just have to wash them. The english language lacks the words to describe the degree to which that is not happening.

Of course Tina watches Oprah. I can't believe this had to be explained to me. The more I learn about her the more I'm convinced that she's the feline equivalent of Peggy Bundy.
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miles

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« Reply #46 on: April 10, 2005, 05:14:38 pm »
Why is Ray afriad to admit he does j/o?

He'll probably blow it with the hooker too, which is hard to do if you have a lot of money.  But Ray will manage.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

miles

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« Reply #47 on: April 10, 2005, 05:33:55 pm »
Quote from: "Mattgiraffe"
I'm just laughing because Philippe found Teodor's Fleshlight.


I thought that Philippe had probably found a sex toy of sorts, but I'd never heard of the Fleshlight.  After some googling, I'm kind of creeped out.

Cyber skin?  Creepy.

However, one reviewer assured me that it is "the next best thing to being inside his wife."  Now, how the hell am I supposed to know what that is like?
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

CortJstr

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« Reply #48 on: April 10, 2005, 05:35:37 pm »
Quote from: "miles"
He'll probably blow it with the hooker too

Interesting word choice. Now there's a whole double-meaning going on.

From the description I assumed Fleshlight as well. They used to advertise the fuck out of those things. The only thing that creeped me out was the "alien" skin and the vague non-descript whole variant. Plus the mouths always looked manish to me.

I swear we had a thread about these things, and that JL even pasted a picture, but damned if I can find it right now
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jough

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« Reply #49 on: April 10, 2005, 11:01:39 pm »
See, I always assumed that no man ever actually bought the Fleshlight except as a gag gift for a buddy.

Men just aren't into toys as a rule, are they?  I know I'm not.
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CortJstr

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« Reply #50 on: April 11, 2005, 12:03:39 am »
Quote from: "jough"
See, I always assumed that no man ever actually bought the Fleshlight except as a gag gift for a buddy.

Men just aren't into toys as a rule, are they?  I know I'm not.

After 2 year without a date I considered it.
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #51 on: April 11, 2005, 01:06:39 am »


TH-POCK[/size]

Cronenberg, you are undone.
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V-Adore

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« Reply #52 on: April 11, 2005, 02:22:49 am »
What May Be TMI Alert:

I am actually, generally, less creeped out by the "just a hole" Fleshlights than the "actual attempt at modeling lips or orifices" Fleshlights. I mean... you're obviously not screwing a person, so why shape the orifice of the appliance in a humanlike shape? Disturbing simulacra, I tell you!

(And before anyone accuses me of sexism: I also find super-realistic dildos, the ones with veins, to be remarkably unnerving.)
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jough

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« Reply #53 on: April 11, 2005, 03:02:13 am »
Yeah, the plastic pu$$y replicas are something out of a Burroughs novel.  I'd rather fuck my typewriter.
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miles

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« Reply #54 on: April 11, 2005, 03:09:23 am »
Quote from: "jough"
Yeah, the plastic pu$$y replicas are something out of a Burroughs novel.  I'd rather fuck my typewriter.


Sounds like one hell of a typewriter.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

Suckin_Dick

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« Reply #55 on: April 11, 2005, 04:24:31 am »
i think the more important question is what has been revealed about teodor's character by this shocking revelation....

all i know is that this has something to do with the cure.  i swear.
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suckin dick bought this van.

miles

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« Reply #56 on: April 11, 2005, 04:38:59 am »
Quote from: "Suckin_Dick"
i think the more important question is what has been revealed about teodor's character by this shocking revelation....

all i know is that this has something to do with the cure.  i swear.


I wasn't surprised at all.  What with his penchant for cyber sex and all.  I'd be surprised if he didn't own some kind of toy.

I mean, really, he's an alive stuffed animal with real needs.

Here's that review of the fleshlight I mentioned above.  It's...funny.  And it looks like the site is probably not work safe.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

St_Zartan

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« Reply #57 on: April 11, 2005, 05:13:05 am »
Quote from: "miles"
I wasn't surprised at all.  What with his penchant for cyber sex and all.  I'd be surprised if he didn't own some kind of toy.


This surely counts, if not in one category then the other.
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arkabee

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« Reply #58 on: April 11, 2005, 01:17:57 pm »
what would possess someone to TAPE a condom to a bar of soap?
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V-Adore

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« Reply #59 on: April 11, 2005, 05:42:25 pm »
Quote from: "St_Zartan"
Quote from: "miles"
I wasn't surprised at all.  What with his penchant for cyber sex and all.  I'd be surprised if he didn't own some kind of toy.


This surely counts, if not in one category then the other.

Wow, someone appears to have hitched the next TMI train to San Francisco! Jesus, dude, I am glad the Fleshlight was a good experience for you and all, but I'm fairly sure "this was a fun toy" would be totally as informative without going into things such as your marital life. Duude.
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