Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Gimpson]

This is what I do when I'm not hijacked. "Come help me look for black shoes in size 7" or popping in somewhere boring on the way to the car.

I've been forced into malls while travelling on my last two trips out of town.  Luckily, both malls had bars.

[eponymoose]

pursuant to http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04112005 (April 11, 2005).

... In that moment Roast Beef Kazenzakis is visited by the Angels of Miraculous Powers. rb: "holy pepcid ac"
ROAST BEEF WE HEARD YOU HAVE ENTERED THIS BEAD STORE AS YOU WOULD A JAILHOUSE
"..."
DID YOU LET THE FEARS OF OTHER MEN DIVIDE YOU FROM YOUR BELOVED ONE
WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS YOUR PROBLEM BOY NOW WELCOME DR FRANKLIN

The spirit of Natural Philosophy appears in the form of tha Original Geek Gangsta. it's Ben Franklin, as a young strapping printer armed by babes.
"Dr Franklin it is an honor sir" (ouch I am so stupid Ray would of said like what is up c-note)

"Beef sir I will let you have it straight. The fancies of women are like onto
our geekly extremities, but more practical in the every-day. Are not beads precursors to coins? Are they not used as units of prayer? May an Abacus count without? Do they not make a fine dress for Dame Bettina Turner? Loose thy head from its arse! Take an interest,and take your lover! See you on the money." Franklin's twinkling eye is replaced by stars.

Beef falls through interstellar rain into his sad sack of skin in the Bead Shop. The clouds part. Beef is enlightened and sees Molly for the first time.
He remembers to say: "Baby, those beads are beautiful AND affordable. this must be some dang wonderful world." Stars stream from his eyes to hers, collecting in tears as he dips her into a deep fat kiss. He does not wake from this. He realizes Boredom is a sad couch potato man created in 1954 by TV executives.

Cut back to the Breakroom of the Angels of Miraculous Powers. Franklin's pouring beer for the babes et alia. The Angels of Saris are playing strip bead games. All is well.

....................................... ..........................
BACK STORY:
from http://users.ritternet.com/sasha/sag-21.html
The Angels of Sacredness in Matter
Also known as The Angels of Saris
...
Let us introduce ourselves, for we are the angels of Saris,
who have guided the spiritualization of these prayer beads for
over a hundred years. Her Mother gave her these beads on
her deathbed. Blessing this strand of beads when her mother
was a young girl, and before that when her great aunt crossed
the dark sea, we instructed each woman through intuition to
permeate these beads with all of the intensity of their hearts,
with all the devotion of their longing.
...
We inspire mankind with the understanding of the
power of thought and feeling to transform matter. Matter
so transformed by consciousness, in turn transforms
consciousness. It is a feedback loop. Matter is like a
computer disk, it records energy and information. By
charging any object with powerful thought and feeling,
a doorway into another consciousness is created.

....................................... ..........................
[ed: much love to this board. have lurked since onstad had to kick us all out of his hizizzizzile. peace 2 tha new lambzz ]

[Limmo]

Oh, dear.

[V-Adore]

I think that may very well be the most awesome first post on this board EVAR. Even if it is technically fanfic. Carry on, Mr. Moose.

[eponymoose]

there are a no fanfics rule? arrr. sorry. i will read the Expression Bylaws

Limmo - I know
V-Adore - tyvm *artificial heart beeps like a fed tamagotchi*

-moo$e dog

[Max]

Words

I just don't know, man.

[AlohaDawg]

Ebonypenis is saved by the fact that he/she did not lapse into Col. Sanders talk at any point during the post.

[sensate]

All I know is, if I was opening a bead shop, or was on the committee or something, that I would name it "Bead Yourself Up!"

[eponymoose]

or "Drawing a Bead" where you shine lasers through the $5 beads onto soft plush targets... that may draw out the suncoasties/sharper imagers esp if points are auto-awarded such as in Lazer Tag rinks. Significant others all shouting at their mates to dominate for deeper discounts...

Max wrote

I just don't know, man.

These 'Words' of wizendom made me see my fatass post was too twee - cute words without the ACHE that makes the wood go round. EDIT [final panel]: instead of franklin, beer and alliswell - it's Pat screeching into his prepaid medical assistance cellphone to mall security to make the couple stop the disgusting public display. Nabubrush may of wanted it this way.

-ebonyMoouse

[robot_roll_call]

All I know is, if I was opening a bead shop, or was on the committee or something, that I would name it "Bead Yourself Up!"

I would call mine "Beading Off"

[arkabee]

All I know is, if I was opening a bead shop, or was on the committee or something, that I would name it "Bead Yourself Up!"

I would call mine "Beading Off"

i would call mine "it's a bead shop, wtf do you want from me?"