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Author Topic: Monkey NARCs  (Read 4501 times)

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miles

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Monkey NARCs
« on: April 20, 2005, 04:27:02 pm »
When I was in Vegas once I saw this guy with a monkey trained to take money from people after he did a trick.  If you offered the monkey a coin, he would wave it away and beg until you offered a bill.  That was one smart monkey.  Few could resist.

Then I see this.  What I'm most amazed at is that monkeys are trained to cook and serve food.  Isn't that insane?

"My, this quiche is wonderful!"

"Thank you.  My monkey prepared it."

I don't know if I would ever own a monkey, but this site is fun to look at.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

Choop

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2005, 04:50:20 pm »
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wombat

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2005, 09:50:48 pm »
Quote from: "miles"


I don't know if I would ever own a monkey, but this site is fun to look at.


Oh dear.  Please, you don't want to own a monkey.  It's a bad idea.  And it's not as much fun as you think.  They have very stinky poop. I speak from professional experience.
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pmcd9

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2005, 12:49:56 am »
Quote from: "wombat"
Quote from: "miles"


I don't know if I would ever own a monkey, but this site is fun to look at.


Oh dear.  Please, you don't want to own a monkey.  It's a bad idea.  And it's not as much fun as you think.  They have very stinky poop. I speak from professional experience.

Yes, but the world is full of people with very little sense yet large bankrolls.  It's the only possible explanation for the existance of a domesticated monkey farm.

~Paul
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AlohaDawg

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2005, 04:19:54 am »
Quote from: "wombat"
Quote from: "miles"


I don't know if I would ever own a monkey, but this site is fun to look at.


Oh dear.  Please, you don't want to own a monkey.  It's a bad idea.  And it's not as much fun as you think.  They have very stinky poop. I speak from professional experience.


Obviously you have never been around a baby just making the switch from breast milk to solid food. Or an exclusively formula-fed baby.

At least the monkey would <do> stuff for you.
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miles

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2005, 05:04:39 am »
I'm fairly certain I'll never own a monkey.  It'll be years before I get a dog again.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

miles

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2005, 02:25:55 pm »
Jesus!  A foot was severed?  I'm sure some people come out of shark attacks in better shape!

Quote from: "CBC News"
His testicles and a foot were severed and he will require extensive surgery to re-attach his nose.


Most painful sentence to read ever.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2005, 02:36:35 pm »
Holy God. That is in fact one of the most painful sentences I've read lately.
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wombat

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2005, 06:12:02 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"

Obviously you have never been around a baby just making the switch from breast milk to solid food. Or an exclusively formula-fed baby.



All primates are equally bad poopers, pretty much.

I feel compelled to point out that chimps are apes, not monkeys, but all primates are also equally bad pets.
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miles

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2005, 08:12:34 pm »
Quote from: "wombat"
I feel compelled to point out that chimps are apes, not monkeys, but all primates are also equally bad pets.


Well, there are bad pets and there are bad pets.

That is to say, are all primates equally capable of chewing a human foot off and feasting on his reproductive organs?

So far the main thing I've heard about monkeys (or apes) is that their poop stinks and that they throw it.  Also, I've always heard it's generally not a good idea to have exotic pets of any kind.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

wombat

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Re: Monkey NARCs
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2005, 08:18:28 pm »
Quote from: "miles"

That is to say, are all primates equally capable of chewing a human foot off and feasting on his reproductive organs?



Well, I wouldn't worry about the average pygmy marmoset, unless you gave it an awful lot of time to work on it.  Still, it's not the only criteria that you'd want to use to judge its suitability for pet-hood.
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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Ben-San

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2005, 09:45:03 pm »
Whenever I look at this thread, when I scroll past the line about the severed foot and the nose reattachment I start laughing uncontrollably. I do not think that dismemberment is funny and discussing it makes me a little nauseous but for some reason that line specifically makes me laugh really hard. Why is that?
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miles

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2005, 03:14:22 am »
Quote from: "Ben-San"
Whenever I look at this thread, when I scroll past the line about the severed foot and the nose reattachment I start laughing uncontrollably. I do not think that dismemberment is funny and discussing it makes me a little nauseous but for some reason that line specifically makes me laugh really hard. Why is that?


Partly because the idea of a chimp severing a human foot is really ridiculous?  Seriously.  I mean, maybe a shark, but a chimp?
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Max

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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2005, 03:48:20 am »
Quote from: "miles"
Quote from: "Ben-San"
Whenever I look at this thread, when I scroll past the line about the severed foot and the nose reattachment I start laughing uncontrollably. I do not think that dismemberment is funny and discussing it makes me a little nauseous but for some reason that line specifically makes me laugh really hard. Why is that?


Partly because the idea of a chimp severing a human foot is really ridiculous?  Seriously.  I mean, maybe a shark, but a chimp?


We're talking about chimps that chewed off most of a man's face.  I think in this case disbelief can be suspended.
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Monkey NARCs
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2005, 06:00:12 am »
...Yeah, Congo WAS a pretty cool movie.
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