I have a very weird and strong love-hate relationship with food. Meaning that I am again on the
Hacker's Diet which is basically just pretty talk for
starvation. That's right, I made myself an Eat Watch and lost a bunch of weight, then I moved to Alaska, stopped counting calories, and my trousers eventually stopped being loose and baggy. Starvation - scientifically, that's pretty much all any diet is composed of, and you would be wise to admit that to yourself, rather than gorging on pork rinds and soda and calling that a diet. You ain't foolin nobody, Atkins. Proctology and cardiology are gonna be big business any day now. If you eat nothing but bacon and eggs you are going to get cancer of the ass and a clogged aorta. I hate to break it to you like that.
Anyway. Man, I am cranky. I like dill pickles, oat bran powder, big glassfuls of water, Diet Coke, iceberg lettuce...
Damn it! That's not true!
That's not true at all! I want a mighty slab of cheesecake, a rack of lamb, some naan bread and chicken vindaloo, a tureen full of chocolate, some Doritos, poutine (I have never tried it before but all my Canadian friends swear by it), crab legs, lasagne, sashimi, dim sum chicken feet with pork glaze,
the works. Dammit! Just get me a trough or a funnel or something.
Okay, I had better go get something healthy to eat before I gnaw off my own ear. Ciao!