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@achewood Ray Smuckles pours one out for Tiger's '09 Escalade. "Shit didn't have to be that way, Tiger. You coulda' taken the damn Buick."

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Author Topic: I miss my cat.  (Read 13289 times)

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Golfhaus

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I miss my cat.
« on: May 28, 2005, 07:19:43 pm »

Given the number of animal lovers in here, this seemed like a logical place to vent. We put my cat to sleep this morning. Not a real fun way to start out the Memorial Day weekend.

My mom called me this morning to let me know - Tiger was falling apart. Not making it to the litter box... her back legs giving out under her as she walked... not recognizing people or things that she once enjoyed, like getting her fur brushed. She was old. This was her 19th year. She joined our family on Labor Day 1986, the last day of summer before going back to school. I was 9. My sister was 7. My mom was pissed off at my dad. He had mentioned the presence of a stray cat where he worked. Mom said, "No way." He came home, snuck in through the garage, opened the door, dropped off a meowing furball, and left to return to work. I've forgotten (or repressed, who can tell) a lot of memories from my childhood, but the day we got Tiger has always been there, my memory of it as clear as my memory of waking up this morning.

She was never a people cat. Lisa and I tormented her when we were kids, and she developed a pretty fierce dislike for people because of it. But when I got to the house and picked her up, she let me hold her for about 10 minutes. That was about seven minutes longer than her personal best. I just sat there and cried, while I tried to have my last conversation with her. Do I apologize for all the times I trapped her under a laundry basket when I was 10 and playing zoo? Do I thank her for all the quiet afternoons she spent perched in my bedroom window, watching the scene unfold in our front yard while I farted around on my Apple IIc and Dell 486? I didn't know what to talk about, so I just cried and told her I loved her. My sister cried. My mother didn't. She never had much of an emotional attachment to the pets, and I almost resented her being there. "You must experience this much pain to enter."

It took too long at the vet; mercifully, the important part came quick. She hissed at a dog in the lobby, meowed to be let down off the table to walk around while we waited. She died with her eyes open; I was the last thing that she saw. I brought her collar home with me. I don't know if it will stay with me, or if Lisa will end up with it.

We have one more pet between us, a dog who is old, too. Her time will probably come by year's end. I have no idea what I'll do then, without any of my childhood pets. Without any of the creatures that were my best friends when I went through my mostly-friendless adolescence.

It sucks that people are such assholes and allowed to live until their seventies, but animals - who love unconditionally and often form the bedrock of our families - are lucky to see 20. That seems pretty backwards. I'd certainly let the world give up the dick that flung spitwads at me in 7th grade for another fifteen healthy years with my cat. The dude that gets in fights at every bar he hasn't been banned from yet and then tries to get the women to come home with him in his tricked-out pickup truck can take a dirt nap now for all I care if it will get me another decade with my dog. The world would come out ahead in the end.

She's been dead for three hours, and it already feels like months.
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AugustWest

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2005, 07:46:18 pm »

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Pets can be members of our families and it can hurt just as much to lose them.

But she's probably not driving a Subaru Brat around now, anyway.
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pmcd9

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2005, 09:43:46 pm »

I feel you.  Sorry to hear that.  Rest in Peace Tiger.

~Paul
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CortJstr

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« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2005, 12:14:45 am »

We had to have my cat put to sleep last summer. He was 20 and seeing as I'm an only child he was often my only companion.
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V-Adore

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2005, 12:27:41 am »

I'm so sorry. My parents had to put down my childhood cat recently, too; she was 20, and I can't clearly remember any time before her. I wasn't there for the trip to the vet, but spending Spring Break at home without her was very strange.

I'm not sure what to say to be a comfort, but it sounds like you took the best care of Tiger you could. It's good that you were able to do that for her.
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miles

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2005, 02:24:35 am »

Sorry to hear that.

We put my dog to sleep nearly two years ago, right before my birthday.  When I'm home I still find myself expecting him to be around.  We'd had him since I was 9, and he slept in my room nearly every night until I left for college.
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Golfhaus

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2005, 04:18:46 am »

Quote from: "AugustWest"
I'm so sorry for your loss.  Pets can be members of our families and it can hurt just as much to lose them.

But she's probably not driving a Subaru Brat around now, anyway.


For sure... she's probably chilling at one of Blister's parties, macking it with another cat, saying "I shoot my gun and fur brushes be dancing. They be all 'Have we brushed you enough Tiger?' and I'm all like NO."

Thanks for the kind words, everyone.
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Choop

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2005, 04:59:17 am »

My deepest and most heartfelt condolences go to you and your family, Golfhaus. I've never been a cat person- dogs for me- but I know what you're going through. My folks gave away my childhood dog when I was in college. I never got to say goodbye.

My aunt has a cat named Miss Kitty (she's not too creative, my aunt) who's 23 now. I'm amazed she's stuck around so long. I just hope our new pit-mix Oscar hangs out with us for quite some time. He's young, so it'll probably be a while before we lose him. Our english bull Chelsea only made it to 9 before subsiding to seizures (common in englishes). It's been four years since then, and our new one arrived only last week. We just hadn't recovered enough.

I never know what to say to anybody who's lost someone close to them. I've been lucky enough to lose only a few people and pets in my life, and every time hurts like it's never happened before. No one ever replaces anyone lost; they only succeed in their place.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." You'll make new friends of animals, and you'll always remember your childhood pets. If having them around isn't enough ,and it rarely seems to be, having your memories of them will always keep them by your side.

Sleep well tonight, with love in your heart, and memories and dreams of  your friend.
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AlohaDawg

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2005, 06:42:10 pm »

That's some heartfelt writing. I've been pondering what will happen when my 16 year old cat finally comes to the end of his life - I've had him since I was in college. He's seen just about everything important that happened in my life from a front-row seat. He's logged 5,000 miles and 13 different addresses.  There were times when he was more like a brother than a cat. A very good nonjudgmental listener, too.

I'm having trouble composing myself thinking about this - so I know that your sense of loss is profound and I feel for you.
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Lister

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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2005, 05:23:40 am »

I'm not sure what to say, but I have to say something.

All of the pets my family had as a child were older than I was, and even though they all liked me (once I grew out of torturing them), they never really seemed like they were mine.  It always hurt when we lost them, but I never felt as bad as my sisters did.

About twelve years ago, Sylvester showed up at our house.  He was already relatively old (we never figured out how old, exactly) and covered in scars and stringy, matted fur.  He looked like he'd been living ferally for a long time, but he immediately took to us like we were a long lost family.

He was the sweetest, dumbest cat I've ever known.  He got confused walking into new rooms.  He fell off of chairs and tables.  He followed us around close enough to get stepped on almost every day, but he never learned better.  If you were sitting down, he HAD to be in your lap.  It was not optional, it was pure desperation on his part to get there.  He pressed himself into you and purred for hours if you'd let him.

It's been almost two years since his body finally shut down, and I still miss him in a way I don't quite understand.  I feel better when I think about how he probably would have died left on his own, and how we gave him ten years of luxury in return for ten years of unconditional love.

I guess what I'm saying is that the time we have with our pets is something to be grateful for.  It's even worth the hurt when they leave us.
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AugustWest

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2005, 05:51:04 am »

What a beautiful, well expressed sentiment.  I have only one change:

Quote from: "Lister"
I guess what I'm saying is that the time we have with our pets is something to be grateful for.  It's even worth the hurt when they leave us.


Quote from: "Lister edited"
I guess what I'm saying is that the time we have with our [pets] loved ones is something to be grateful for.  It's even worth the hurt when they leave us.
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V-Adore

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I miss my cat.
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2005, 06:34:58 am »

Sylvester sounds like a wonderful cat. It sounds like your family was blessed to have him and he was blessed to have you.
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side_show

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« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2005, 02:16:08 pm »

Wow props to all who have felt the furry snuggle and lost.  My deepest condolences.

Cat Story for Cat People who Love Cats:

For three years I worked at a used book store that was in a strip mall with a vet clinic, and I remember near the start of my long run working there, that the first time I got keys and the alarm code, that when I came to the back door of the store to unlock it for the first time in my career, in ran this orange cat.  I freak, thinking "Oh, god, I've only opened the door and I've already screwed up."  I go into the store, and the cat is totally laying in the middle of the large, 8 foot x 12 foot comic bin, glancing at me all casually.  He is ugly, old, and has clumps of fur missing.  So I go to one side of the bin and of course he casually shifts out of reach, then to the other, and again he shifts.  I continue with my frantic attempts to get him, then realize it's well past opening time, so I open up the shop.  The cat continues to lie on the bin of comics, gazing at me, looking very relaxed.  Finally my co-worker saunters in about an hour late, glances at the cat and says "Oh, Thomas is here."  It turns out that Thomas the cat is 19 years old and belongs to the vet clinic, and he regularly escapes and gets locked out over night, or even over the weekend.  The clinic has several other cats that have no interest in escaping, but not Thomas.

So at my job at the bookstore, maybe two or three times a week Thomas escapes from the vet clinic and saunters down the sidewalk, and waits patiently for a customer or one of us to come and open our door, and in he comes.  Even though my boss is allergic to cats, he can't resist Thomas' charms, he ends up petting him and sneezing at the same time.  My boss mutters "damn cat,"  but then I catch him smiling at Thomas as he drinks water out of the bowl we always have out for him on the counter. He is allowed to vistit whenever he likes.  The clinic tries everything to stop him from his wandering, naturally fearing for his safety, they put a shock collar on him, and discover that he is a masochist - he intentionally shocks himself over and over again, swerving in and out of the door repeatedly for the fun of it.  Since the collar does nothing to keep him in, and seems to instead incourage him to hand out by the door nearly tripping people, they take it off.  He insists on being carried as I shelve books, licking my neck with a very rough tounge.  He eats my Pringles.  He knocks books over.  For three years, Thomas is almost always around.  His fur falls out more and more, and he even tugs chunks of it out when he gets bored.  He has such a paunch-belly that more than one customer asks me "Is that cat going to have kittens?" "No, he's a boy."  One weekend - a long weekend - the vet clinic locks Thomas out, so we keep in the back room, and he eats my co-workers A & W leftovers, bun, lettuce and all, knocks over more books, and takes a big dump on the floor that leaves a perminant orange stain that I could never get rid of no matter how hard I scrubbed.

I moved on to bigger and better things career-wise, but still visted the old store, and often still, Thomas would be there, and he'd remember me and come for rubs.

Recently, I was reading the paper -rarely if ever is there any pet obituaries, but that day, because there was a very long one, it caught my eye.  It read "Thomas the cat, 25 years old,"  and had an exceptionally long tribute that thanked me and several other staff members at the bookstore personally.  It turns out that Thomas had been abandoned at the clinic at the age of 15.  He was old and needed some expensive treatment.  The clinic had assumed, that at his age, that if they welcomed him into the clinic as an in-store-pet, that he wouldn't be around for long.  Instead he stuck around for 10 years.  Apparently, he was also known to the staff of the Domino's Pizza that was also part of the strip mall, though they were supposedly not giving him food.  I cried when I read about Thomas' life of misadventure turned good.  He had found a home for himself, even if an unconventional one, among the soft-hearted merchants of a strip mall.  I remember him smuggly gazing at me from the comic files, knowing that he had it made, and some silly girl wasn't going to bother him.

The last time I stopped by the old book store, which is always a cluttered mess, I noticed that a special place had been cleared, and there framed on the wall was Thomas' obituary in a frame, with my old bosses writting over top "An old friend..."  My old boss saw me looking at it, and muttered under his breath, one last time for good measure, "damn cat."
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pmcd9

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« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2005, 04:47:34 pm »

I think the awesomeness of your story has stunned everyone into silence.  I'll break the silence to declare that I loved reading this tale of yours.

~Paul
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2005, 05:03:16 pm »

The story actually gave me a little lump in my throat, which caught me completely off guard. This is the internet, god damn it.

I guess I wish that nice stories like that happened more often. You usually just hear about strays in the context of what horrible, horrible twelve-year-olds end up doing to them, and it just makes my blood fuck*ng boil.

This thread is like the recent Grant Morrison comic WE3, in that immediately after reading it, I want to rush home and spoil my pet.
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