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@achewood I am composing a tone poem about eagles, lawnmowers, and Ted Nugent. It is composed only of the sounds of those things.

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Author Topic: Wrestling Thread Starter  (Read 13944 times)

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V-Adore

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« on: June 03, 2005, 05:30:42 pm »
To draw off some pro rasslin' love from the Achewood forum. So, guys, who are your favorite heels? Faces? Chokeslams or suplexes? Most photogenically hideous female wrestler? Favorite steel chair moments? Share here.
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cellardoor

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« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2005, 05:57:46 pm »
Thanks V-adore, appreciate it.
So....anyone see that Chyna/X-pax sex tape?
Cock almighty!
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jough

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« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2005, 06:15:46 pm »
One Night in China?

Yeah, I've seen it, although it lacks something from the One Night In Paris video for:

1) Featuring Chyna rather than Paris Hilton
2) Being shot and released by the couple intentionally to sell DVDs

there's just something about unintended skankness that makes it more exciting.  Also, Paris is hott and Chyna is kinda freakish.
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cellardoor

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« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2005, 06:21:36 pm »
Ha, good points, well made.
Chyna is a "victim" of steroid over-use and it is all too visible in the clips i've seen.
Acne everywhere and a larger than average clitoris.
Yech.
I was drawn like a moth to a transexual flame.
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Gimpson

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« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2005, 07:40:53 pm »
I only had brief exposure to rasslin' my junior and senior years of High School, 1992 and 1993.  We ordered a Wrestlemania or two and I was a fan of The Undertaker.  More precisely, I was a fan of The Undertaker's manager, whose name now escapes me.  The dude who always carried around the urn.  He was awesome.
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2005, 07:49:21 pm »
I love how they actually went to the nation of China so as to justify the title. As an appetizer to your embarrassing pro-am sex reel, here's X-Pac acting like a dipshit near the Great Wall. AWESOME

Any amount of X-Pac is enough to dangerously strain my tolerance for X-Pac. I don't know what happened along the line to transform him from "fresh-faced young contender" to "most likely to be seen buying cinder blocks for his Firebird" but it's like - dude - OK - put your tongue back into your face and work a match.

I think I've downloaded one short clip, and that was enough - oh holy night, was it ever enough. I have also seen screenshots around the web (the review at Something Awful and the Rotten Library entry on Chyna [which is surprisingly sympathetic] spring immediately to mind) and, yeah, there is something sort of physiologically crooked with that lady.

Gimpson, the fat dude with the Undertaker-controlling urn was named - get ready - Paul Bearer. One of my favorite wrestling moments is going to a RAW taping back in the mid- to late 90's and seeing some fat kid with a freshly-purchased plastic replica urn two rows down do a Paul Bearer impression for just about the entire show.
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AugustWest

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« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2005, 08:21:12 pm »
My last exposure to wrestling was in the 70's and early 80's.  My brother and I would watch Mid-South Championship Wrestling out of Memphis on Saturday afternoons.  Guys like Superstar Bill Dundee, Tojo Yamamoto, Koko B. Ware and Jimmy Hart.  Now that was rasslin.
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CortJstr

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« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2005, 08:43:20 pm »
Quote from: "St_Zartan"
Any amount of X-Pac is enough to dangerously strain my tolerance for X-Pac. I don't know what happened along the line to transform him from "fresh-faced young contender" to "most likely to be seen buying cinder blocks for his Firebird" but it's like - dude - OK - put your tongue back into your face and work a match.

Gimpson, the fat dude with the Undertaker-controlling urn was named - get ready - Paul Bearer. One of my favorite wrestling moments is going to a RAW taping back in the mid- to late 90's and seeing some fat kid with a freshly-purchased plastic replica urn two rows down do a Paul Bearer impression for just about the entire show.

Hence the term, "X-Pac heat"

Paul Bearer a.k.a. Percy Pringle III. I think he just had major surgery.

Anyway. A.J. Styles is the darling of the IWC right now and for once it's derserved. I just wish Don West didn't feel the need to constantly add Phenomenal to his name. He's great, we get it. But hey, at least he actually calls the freaking match, including mistakes. As opposed to some pedophiles on other shows that I could name.

Anybody ordering One Night Stand? I'm not firmly in the "see how it goes and consider a replay" camp.
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Gimpson

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« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2005, 08:45:20 pm »
Quote from: "St_Zartan"
Gimpson, the fat dude with the Undertaker-controlling urn was named - get ready - Paul Bearer.


That's right...  And what do you know, he has a blog.
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2005, 09:44:00 pm »
Quote from: "Gimpson"
That's right...  And what do you know, he has a blog.


No discussion of former wrestling personalities with web presences is complete without a mention of The Ultimate Warrior, who is pretty much just batshit crazy at this point. Old news to a lot of you, but for those just coming in, or with only vague wrestling memories - hoo boy, are you in for a treat. He's 100% Serious about everything - change your name to "Warrior" and appear on MSNBC as a political commentator? WHY THE FUCK NOT, GRRRRRAHHHHHH

And don't miss his KEY CONCEPTS!
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CortJstr

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« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2005, 09:53:42 pm »
Warrior is "pretty much just batshit crazy"? Pretty much?! Are you high? Let's just review the UConn incident. And his erudite statement. Count how many times his own name appears in that. Go on, I'll wait. Even The Rock says "I" now and then. Jesus dude.
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V-Adore

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« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2005, 11:40:54 pm »
Man, is Paul Bearer's name seriously Percy Pringle? That is a hell of a name to have. My lord.
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2005, 11:46:30 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Man, is Paul Bearer's name seriously Percy Pringle? That is a hell of a name to have. My lord.


His real name is William Moody. He does seem like an interesting guy, though.
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V-Adore

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« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2005, 12:03:58 am »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Man, is Paul Bearer's name seriously Percy Pringle? That is a hell of a name to have. My lord.


His real name is William Moody. He does seem like an interesting guy, though.

Yeah, I had wondered, what with the paternal-grandfather bit. But "Percy Pringle" is just sort of a terrible fake name.
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2005, 12:11:05 am »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Warrior is "pretty much just batshit crazy"? Pretty much?! Are you high? Let's just review the UConn incident. And his erudite statement. Count how many times his own name appears in that. Go on, I'll wait. Even The Rock says "I" now and then. Jesus dude.


20. Wow. And his mic skills don't even begin to touch the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment.

It's pretty easy to become jaded, especially with twenty-four-hour, high-speed Internet access and almost literally innumerable websites all falling over themselves to amuse you with the freshest bleeding dose of shocking / funny / whatever, so it's refreshing to discover that there are some concepts just too big for the "batshit crazy" bucket. Congratulations, Jim "Warrior" Hellwig. Yeah, I know - Hellwig.

There was a special holiday issue of the "Warrior" comic (oh yes) in which he beats up Santa pretty badly and, for some reason that escapes me, ends by trussing the jolly fat man up in bondage. If Wrestlecrap weren't such candy-asses about maintaining an archive, I could show you.


There's a neck right out of a Cronenberg denouement.
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