Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[jough]

When you see a spam subject line that says "Last Longer In Bed" and your first thought is that it's for sleeping pills, not boner pills.

"Man, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately..."

[side_show]

Most awkward moment at the children's theatre:

Imagine me in my colourful office full of puppets, costumes, etc.  My boss who is a soft spoken man with two children that he talks about all the time, has his desk directly across from mine.  Photos of children and illustrations from kids books on the wall behind him.

My Boss:  I keep getting junk mail, even though I've got a filter on!  Look at this "Thicker, fuller erections!"
Me: Um...
My Boss:  They're so blatent in their language too!
Me:  Yeah.  Maybe you should call our technician.
My Boss:  I don't know, maybe I do want thicker, fuller erections.  With the amount of mail I get about it, it must be a problem right?
Me: Um... I'm just going to the copier, I'll be right back.

Conclusion:  It is not possible to have a converstation with your boss about erectile disfunction when there is a picture of Winnie the Pooh right behind him.

or ever.

[pmcd9]

How do you Godwin a thread that starts out talking about dick pills?

Just asking, this monkey don't want to stop no show.

~Paul

[sjlimmer]

How do you Godwin a thread that starts out talking about dick pills?

Just asking, this monkey don't want to stop no show.

~Paul

To take this off topic for a moment, I find it a lovely coincidence that I was listening to Gillian Welch's "One Monkey"("One monkey don’t stop the show...") as I read Paul's comment.


Please return to your phallocentric discussions.  I'm trying to remember if I have anything to add....

[Bozack]

I work with several women who are either pregnant or have just had a child. And, as I'm sure others can vouch for, these women have absolutely no patience with trying for propriety or dancing around subjects. They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it. Hanging out with them is basically the best thing about my job.

[pmcd9]

One of my bosses is a raving lunatic, excuse me, pregnant lady.  She's not a pleasant person.

~Paul

[Carlos del Vaca]

They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it.

There was a "Dear Prudence" column on Slate today with a letter saying "I had rather delicate surgery on my back end recently.  I tell people I had 'minor surgery,' but they insist on details.  How do I handle it?"  Prudie's reply was "Tell them the surgery was done by a 'rear admiral,' and hopefully they'll get the hint."

Wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong.  The correct response is "I had surgery on my ASS.  My anus, my sphincter, my rectum, my colon, my butt, my bum, my bunghole.  Aren't you glad you asked now?"

[CortJstr]

They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it.

There was a "Dear Prudence" column on Slate today with a letter saying "I had rather delicate surgery on my back end recently.  I tell people I had 'minor surgery,' but they insist on details.  How do I handle it?"  Prudie's reply was "Tell them the surgery was done by a 'rear admiral,' and hopefully they'll get the hint."

Wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong.  The correct response is "I had surgery on my ASS.  My anus, my sphincter, my rectum, my colon, my butt, my bum, my bunghole.  Aren't you glad you asked now?"

Would you like to see my stiches?!

I read Dear Prudence each week and still can't figure out why. It's not particularly entertaining and none of the answers apply to me but each Thursday I click the link. I was the same way with the Bleat for a while before I finally deleted if from Firefox's "Daily" folder.

[arkabee]

so i'm walking through an office the other day, and a young intern person is sandwich between stacks or envelopes, reams of paper, copy machines, printers, folding machine, etc.

i immediately want to say "makin' copies...."

instead, i ask him "do you have any idea who rob schneider is?"

and he was 19, so he didn't know.

that's sad.

[pmcd9]

I ask him "do you have any idea who rob schneider is?" and he was 19, so he didn't know.

Wha?

My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider.  We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.

Plus, SNL is on constant repeat at Comedy central.  If this duche doesn't know Rob Schneider he obviously doesn't like comedy.

~Paul

The above sounded like i'm a huge fan of Rob Schneider which i'm not, but still, he's a very famous comedian.  I mean, he's been in every single Adam Sandler movie.  His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase.  He's mother fuckin' ubiquitous.

[arkabee]

once i explained to him the deuce bigalow connotations, he was "oh, ya, him", but he did not know who the snl "makin copies" guy was.

it was an incredibly poignant moment of self age realization for me, regardless.

[AugustWest]

My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider.  We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.

Deuce Bigelow II?  Deuce Bigelow II???  Dear God in Heaven.

[CortJstr]

My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider.  We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.

Deuce Bigelow II?  Deuce Bigelow II???  Dear God in Heaven.

It's best not to think about it. Just be thakful that you aren't seeing previews for "The Festrunk Bros. 4: Two Wild and Crazy Spring Break Guys"

[AugustWest]

Hmmm, a Festrunk Brothers movie....  The Swanging Festrunk Brathers in their 60's...  the Festrunks cruising Picadilly cafateria for hot babes... hot afternoons around the bridge table at the retirement home... Shopping for stylish and revealing trusses...

[side_show]

The above sounded like i'm a huge fan of Rob Schneider which i'm not, but still, he's a very famous comedian.  I mean, he's been in every single Adam Sandler movie.  His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase.  He's mother fuckin' ubiquitous.

Yeah right Paul, you're being suspiciously defensive. Time to belly up to the bar and admit that you totally love him.  You love Rob Schneider.  All with the posters you bought from e-bay on the wall.  All writting angry letters to Hollywood Squares about how he should replace Whoopie as centre square.  All secretly running this site: http://fan.just-like-magic.org/rob/.

ps - I'm sure it's a fake piercing, but eww, gross.