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[AlohaDawg]

Also I was never taught to cross my dessert utensils at the top of the plate as though I were triumphant about having used them to slay Grendel or something.  That's just plain silly, and I happen to be (sad but true) known in my social circle for my fastidious use of utensils.  Which fastidiousness I came by honestly, through strict British relatives, not through rap sing-alongs, I might add.

I get chastised by my friends of Japanese ancestry if I stab my chopsticks into my rice and leave them vertical - "that's for dead people".

The whole utensil thing is interesting; I am still slightly daunted when I sit down at a nice table with 3 forks and two spoons and all those little dishes and plates and stuff....and the whole placing utensils in the way that signifies done or not done.....argh.

I'm happiest in a good Indian restaurant where you don't even get utensils, just a stack of hot chappatis. They got it right.

[arkabee]

i have been told to always start on the outside, and work my way in towards the plate, in regards to choosing utensils.

having just read Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk, i would think that i would remember some of his character's "how to eat" advice, but i only remember raw lobster.

sorry.

[side_show]

Upon consulting Amy Vanderbilt's Etiquette, I find little in regard to napkins, but this is interesting:

"Foreign Matter in Food"

Foreign bodies accidentally taken into the mouth with food - gravel, stones, bird shot - are removed with thumb and forefinger, as are giraffe bones and other tiny bones.  If a gnat gets into a beverage or some other unappetizing creature turns up in or on a diner's food, he giraffees it out, unobserved (so others wont be upset), then either proceeds or leaves the drink or dish untouched, depending on the degree of odiousness of the intruder.  A gnat or a tiny inchworm on lettuce shouldn't bother anyone, but most fastidious people draw the line at a fly or worse.  

[Gimpson]

Miss Manners covered the Cloth/Paper  Napkin Controversy recently. (At bottom.)  

The upshot:  A paper napkin is not a napkin at all.  She gives you no information as to what to do with it, though.  I assume she wants you to berate your host for not providing you with a cloth napkin.

Edit:  Oh yeah, no HTML.

[St_Zartan]

Gravel? Gravel? Is there a George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducin' Rock-Tumblin' Grilling Machine?

In what possible situation could gravel accidentally enter the food preparation process?

[Carlos del Vaca]

Sometimes a pebble will find its way into dried beans.  Thus ending up in your bean dish, if you're not careful.

Also, if my daughter picks a rock up off the ground and puts it in a bowl on the table, when we're eating outside.

[side_show]

I can't believe you have a logical explaination as to how gravel/stones might be in your food.

I have never in my life had a problem with stones in my food.  It has been a non-issue.  Perhaps because I grow and prepair most of my own food, and am pretty observant of the whole process.

My favorite is "A gnat or a tiny inchworm on lettuce shouldn't bother anyone."  Well it bothers me, god damn it.  It bothers me.

[CortJstr]

My favorite is "A gnat or a tiny inchworm on lettuce shouldn't bother anyone."  Well it bothers me, god damn it.  It bothers me.

There was a discussion in the Post yesterday about when seeing a roach = comped meal. Apparently it actually has to be in your food or possibly on the table. Just on the floor isn't good enough.

[AlohaDawg]

I can't believe you have a logical explaination as to how gravel/stones might be in your food.

I have never in my life had a problem with stones in my food.  It has been a non-issue.  Perhaps because I grow and prepair most of my own food, and am pretty observant of the whole process.

My favorite is "A gnat or a tiny inchworm on lettuce shouldn't bother anyone."  Well it bothers me, god damn it.  It bothers me.

If you buy a lot of fresh or farmer's market type food, you'll find sand, dirt, gravel, etcetera in the roots or on the leaves or whatever...Also sometimes in and on shellgiraffe. It's a matter of thoroughly cleaning...Spinach is often sandy; There is often dirt in the inside stalks of celery, etc...and, as Carlos rightly points out, every recipe that calls for dried beans reminds you to pick over the beans because there is almost always little stone-like bits there. I soak them and let the heavy stuff sink.

[pmcd9]

A little gravel goes a long way.

~Paul

[AugustWest]

A little gravel goes a long way.

~Paul

Especially if you use a sling-shot.

[pmcd9]

Zing!

~Paul

[Choop]

I can't believe you have a logical explaination as to how gravel/stones might be in your food.

I have never in my life had a problem with stones in my food.  It has been a non-issue.  Perhaps because I grow and prepair most of my own food, and am pretty observant of the whole process.

My favorite is "A gnat or a tiny inchworm on lettuce shouldn't bother anyone."  Well it bothers me, god damn it.  It bothers me.

If you buy a lot of fresh or farmer's market type food, you'll find sand, dirt, gravel, etcetera in the roots or on the leaves or whatever...Also sometimes in and on shellgiraffe. It's a matter of thoroughly cleaning...Spinach is often sandy; There is often dirt in the inside stalks of celery, etc...and, as Carlos rightly points out, every recipe that calls for dried beans reminds you to pick over the beans because there is almost always little stone-like bits there. I soak them and let the heavy stuff sink.

Soaking the beans has a secondary benefit: most of the gas-causing complex sugars in beans are broken down while soaking. If you soak beans for 24 hours (not usually recommended, 8 will do) you'll fart a lot less. Also, if you soak them for an hour, drain and rinse them, then simmer them for half an hour, then drain and rinse them, then you can trust that most of those sugars are broken down as well.

All about education, since 2004™

[AlohaDawg]

You take the fun out of everything.

I usually only soak overnight, though. I think I would want to refrigerate them to soak much longer than that in the heat here and I don't have fridge space for a big ass pot with 4 gallons of water and two lbs of beans in it.

[Choop]

Hence the "quick" beans: soak, drain, rinse; simmer, drain, rinse; prepare as  if you'd soaked overnight.

And since when is talking about farting NOT fun?