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[linnea]

Hey everybody!

Jesus. So one of the guys that I work with was arrested for stalking his ex girlfriend, who also works with us. Right before he got arrested, he was pulling some seriously inappropriate shit with me (showing up and pounding on my door at 1AM on three separate occasions, following me, calling me incessantly). In addition to that, I found out that he had used his work computer to hack into my personal and work email.  Hello, more criminal charges!

ANYWAY, I never had any sort of relationship with this guy other than work, being cordial, and going on a couple of hikes with him. I felt really creeped out when he was showing up at my house, but the guy is pretty socially retarded, and he was so pathetic and seemed so harmless that I just felt sorry for him. After he broke into his ex's house, stole stuff, wrote things on her car, etc. I no longer feel that he is harmless. ESPECIALLY now that I know he was reading my private email and whatnot, I don't feel that he is harmless. He also has guns, such as a 12-gauge shotgun. I have told the police all of this. They are doing a pretty good job so far.

And so on... the DA is bringing more criminal charges in addition to the FELONY STALKING and domestic violence charges he is facing already. I haven't had to be questioned by his lawyers yet, but the other victim in this case says that they are ruthless. The stalker probably flipped through the phonebook and picked out the attorney that had the scariest-looking drawing of a bear in their Yellow Pages advert.

I am already feeling queasy at the thought of questioning. Has anybody else been harassed by sleazeball lawyers? What the hell do you do? I have done nothing except tell the truth. Any advice for holding up under heavy fire would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. After I heard that he was accessing my personal information I decided to hide my blog. pm or email if you want the password.

P.P.S. This is so fuck*ng unfair. I was just trying to be nice to the guy. I am a good person, god damn it. I am a volunteer EMT, and I have done more than my fair share of helping people. I'm also training to be a firefighter currently. Putting on 50 lbs of firefighter bunker gear and crawling through a house trying to find a victim doesn't scare me, but getting stalked sure as hell does. I really hope that this guy doesn't get to come back to the island. I am really scared that he might try to hurt me or my kitties.

[AlohaDawg]

Aug, fly out to Elbonia and help this girl out.

Is he likely to spend a bunch of jail time regardless of your issue? Also, would conviction on the charges related to you significantly add to it?

If not, and if you think being deposed and/or cross examined by a sleazeball lawyer would seriously lower your quality of life, I'd punt my charges knowing he was going away anyhow. I would still get a lifetime restraining order. I assume he's going to lose his job with the convictions anyhow.

However, it could be very helpful to society in general for you to do what you can to get an complete asshat off the street. So if you do decide to be deposed or take the stand, just make your answers as simple and memorable as possible and stick to your guns. Don't let the sleazeballs lead you anywhere.

Living on a smallish island is also tough - is testifying likely to raise any issues you'd prefer everyone didn't know about? Is this sleazeball lawyer likely to bring up your personal life? Medical conditions? Things you'd prefer out of the grapevine? Just a thought.

Otherwise, go get 'em and string 'em up by the nuts.

[AugustWest]

This isn't really my area, but I do have one suggestion to make.  Keep a good record of every contact you have with the guy.  Write it down and make sure you keep the date, time and location too.  This will accomplish a couple of things -- first it will help make your testimony far more accurate and reliable.  Second, it will demonstrate your mental state at the time this was occurring.  That is, it will show that you were creeped out seriously enough  to keep a record of what was going on.

I am in no way qualified to advise you on your personal security.  Do what the police tell you.  

Do I understand that this guy works with you?  How has your employer handled the situation.  Have you made them aware of it?

[linnea]

Aug, are you a member of the legal profession?

Anyway, yeah. I work for a public employer, and they are unfortunately held to an entirely different standard. I believe that they have to wait for the trial and an "innocent until proven guilty" verdict. With any other employer, if you had missed two weeks of work because you were in jail on felony charges, you would have been history. Alas. Not so here, I'm afraid.

Anyway, because I didn't document any of the creepy incidents with HR or the police, it does not look like the DA is going to prosecute him for stalking me. All my evidence would be "he said, she said". Sucks, don't it? Gah. I am really angry.

[AugustWest]

Yes, I am an attorney.

Your employer has a duty to provide you a reasonably safe workplace where you are free from sexual (or other) harrassment.  If you have made them aware of the situation they may have a responsibility to take action.  I would suggest you document that you have made your supervisor aware of this problem and that you are uncomfortable about the situation.  It doesn't have to be a formal, Pat-style letter.  An e-mail would work.  Just something that shows that you did tell them and when.

[AlohaDawg]

It also sounds to me like he compromised your personal security with a work computer. Seems to me that a court case isn't necessary to deal with a serious infraction of what should be a work policy through administrative channels...At least, everywhere I worked, (all public employers until now :-( ) that would have been the case.

[linnea]

It also sounds to me like he compromised your personal security with a work computer. Seems to me that a court case isn't necessary to deal with a serious infraction of what should be a work policy through administrative channels...At least, everywhere I worked, (all public employers until now :-( ) that would have been the case.

Well, one of our highest ranking officials was the one who told me that he had used his work computer to access my personal email. I started crying when I heard that bit of information, because I was terrified. I had the feeling like, "oh my god, this has escalated beyond what I thought was possible." It was hearing that he had compromised my personal email and work email that made me get the ex parte protective order and seek criminal charges against him.

However, now we are not so sure that he hacked into my email. I am not sure why I was told that, but the investigation continues.  

Although I wish that we could press criminal charges for what the asshole did, it's not against the law to be creepy or an asshole. He didn't stop harrassing me despite my requests for him to leave me alone. However, once I threatened him with getting HR involved, he backed off. Although the guy was both creepy and an asshole to me, the District Attorney doesn't think that we have enough evidence to convince a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that he was stalking me. If he did access my personal information, I am going to get a long-term protective order against him. If he did not hack into my info, then it looks like the only strikes against him (in my case) are being creepy and inappropriate, but nothing that could bring criminal charges.

Anyway.

Aug, your signature is great. I love Katamari Damacy. I hear that it might come out for the PSP.

[AlohaDawg]

There are many problems with living on an island, especially in a place with a lot more men than women. I hope this works out OK for you - hopefully he goes to jail on the other charges...what a #####*****, though.

[jough]

The nice thing about living on an island is that it's surrounded by water.  I mean, couldn't this guy be out walking late one night and accidentally slip into the water and be carried out to sea and never seen or heard from again?

I mean, it's possible.

[pmcd9]

The nice thing about living on an island is that it's surrounded by water.  I mean, couldn't this guy be out walking late one night and accidentally slip into the water and be carried out to sea and never seen or heard from again?

I mean, it's possible.

I hate to say it Jough, I love your point of view, but I saw it coming.  When I saw that you had responded to this post I knew you were gonna suggest that our dear Linnea murder her aggressor.

~Paul

[jough]

No no no, that's not it at all, Paul.

I just think that everyone can agree that it would be better for everyone if her problem just went away.

Murder is wrong and illegal, Paul.

[pmcd9]

No no no, that's not it at all, Paul.

I just think that everyone can agree that it would be better for everyone if her problem just went away.

Murder is wrong and illegal, Paul.

Are you winking at me, stop that.

~Paul

[AlohaDawg]

Ya know, anyone can just sort of "go away". You still with us, Paul?

[Bozack]

Who's got Frequent Flyer miles? Because, uhh, I got a few days. And there's a lot of water out there. That much water, you can't really dredge for nothing, right? You just gotta wait for things to wash up, and if you wrap something in chicken wire, who knows how long that'll be?

[jough]

It's cold there, too, so people would tend to wear heavy shoes, made out of heavy and warm things like... concrete.