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[Bozack]

I'd have to say, if I was picking a woman to stalk, I probably wouldn't choose one that knows and hangs out with the entire fire/police department. I'm reminded of that episode of Family Guy where...well, this is how it will go.

SIRENS
Stalker Dude in Car- Umm, hi, officer, was I speeding?
Police Officer- Aren't you that guy who was stalking Somebody nice?
SDIC- Well, I wouldn't say that...
PO- *Into radio* Perp's becoming belligerent!
SDIC- Wait, what?
PO- *Into radio* I NEED BACKUP!
SDIC- Now, wait...
PO- *Into radio* OFFICER DOWN! *collapses*

35 cops come and beat the shit out of the guy. I imagine this would happen every time he left his house.

[linnea]

He is one stupid motherfucker if he tries to pull any shit. He will go to the state pen posthaste if he thinks he can hurt me or my kitties and get away with it. He screwed up big time. Plus, he threatened his ex-girlfriend and her children if he lost his job. Talk about scum. Anyway, I know just about everyone in our fire/police department, and many of them are good friends of mine. I'm an EMT-1, a probationary firefighter, and a member of our tactical rescue team. I have learned a lot in the 11 months that I have been here thus far.

Most people in this community are good-hearted, and I have made a pointed effort to let as many people know as possible what this guy did. I don't want him to think that he can just skulk back into town and slip unnoticed back into his daily routine. My boss is awesome - she has been so supportive during this whole thing. I have learned a lot, both from the experience and from guidance I've received.

At any rate, I don't have any documentation or eyewitnesses to vouch that he stalked me, so the DA cannot press charges against him for stalking me. Like I said, we'll wait and see what happens.

<3

[Bozack]

I get a feeling that state prison in Alaska is one bad fuck*ng place to be.

[AlohaDawg]

emphasis on 'bad fuck*ng'.

There's a world of difference between a bad-ass fuck*ng and a bad ass-fuck*ng. If you know what I mean.

[side_show]

hi ya linnea,

Unfortunatly I was also once stalked and also dealt pretty closely with another friend's aunt getting stalked and assulted by her ex-husband.

Just a few notes of advice(I just had a quick review of the thread, so sorry if I repeat anything anyone else recommended):

- Have someone be a check-in buddy until the fucker is locked away or gone away: make it someone who lives as close to you as possible so you can get to them even if your phone line is cut.  Give this person a copy of your work schedule, and also check in with them on a daily basis.  Exchange keys with your buddy so that you have an additional safe place to go, and so they can check in on you even if you can't answer the phone.  If you're going to do anything/ go anywhere that's slightly out of the norm for you, let them know when you're leaving and when to expect your return.  Unless totally nessisary, don't be alone.  If possible get a cell phone, if not, always know where the nearest phone is.

- Make sure everyone you work with, your friends, your family etc. knows what this guys name is, that he is a potentially dangerous stalker, and that they are not to share and info with him about you.  This might sound basic, but the guy who was stalking me showed up at my work when I wasn't there, and since the employee who was there didn't know the situation, and she thought he was "cute" she actually revealed two weeks of my schedule to him.  People can be easily charmed, especially by someone whose particularly messed up and manipulative.  Also, if you talk openly with other people you might find out about things that you may not even know were going on between this guy and other people he's been harrassing.

- If you haven't already taken a women's self defence course, take one.  I've used the skills I learnt in self-defence a couple of times, and it's great to just have those reflexes programmed in.  Even if you plan on keeping a gun around, it is more likely that you will be attacked when it is not in your hands, so knowing what to do to keep yourself safe and incapacitate your attacker is your best bet.  If self-defense classes aren't available in your neck of the woods, remember that for most people if you drive your thumb or fingers into their eyes that their reflex reaction will be to release their hold on you to protect themselves.  This should buy you the valuable time you need to get away.

-  Get your workplace's policy against harassment in wrighting, share it with any superiors and coworkers who aren't already familiar with it, learn it inside out and keep it on hand, in case an issue arises.  Also find out if your employer has any sort of policy for stress leave, and if the situation gets to hairy, take it.

- Follow whatever course you can to apply for a restraining order against the guy.  It sounds like you've got a case where you may not be able to act unless his actions against you escalate, so you may be at a point right now where you can't do anything except hope it doesn't get worse, which is an awful spot to be in, but being educated on exactly what you'll need to do when/if it's appropriate to apply for the order can only make things easier should you have to follow that course.

- Always take this seriously.  I don't want to go into details about some of the horrible things that went down with one person I know, but all I will tell you is that she allowed her stalker (her ex-husband) to get back in touch with her because he seemed to be better, had supposedly gotten treatment in jail, etc. and now she is no longer with us and her kids have no parents.

Frustrating as it is, the best thing you can do is stick with this, keep a network of good people around you (sounds like your on top of this), and hopefully see this guy either behind bars or driven out of town.

Stay strong sista'

[linnea]

smells, thank you. That is some hella good advice, which is why I started this thread in the first place.

I am taking a concealed-carry class so that I'll be a deadeye shot. My dream is to be like Clarice Starling, where my training is so damn slick that I can shoot Buffalo Bill in the pitch dark. A new dream of mine is to be a tactical medic (such as one who goes with SWAT teams). How rad would that be? Daaaaamn.

I also studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu for six months when I lived in Boulder. My ex-fiance was a huge fan of martial arts, and he made sure that I did all the self-defense stuff.

Anyway, I just heard from the district attorney!

Mr. Stalker is going to stay in Anchorage, which is 800 miles away from here. Yaaaay!

He was let out on bail, but his conditions were that he had to leave our island, and he has to have a third-party custodian. Ha, ha! A 3rd-party custodian means that you have to be within eyesight and earshot of this person 24/7. If you are allowed to go back to work, you have to have a custodian with you at home, and another custodian when you go to work (unless you have someone who is willing to follow you around 24/7).

Anyway, he's gonna stay in Anchorage but he wants to dump the custodian. Can't say I blame him, because having a custodian would suck, but the motherfcuker brought it all upon himself. He made his bed, now he gets to lie in it. but I don't give a flying fcuk what he does unless he a.) comes back here, or b.) hurts someone. As long as he crawls back under the rock from under which he came, I don't care about him.

The chances are hopefully good that he won't come back. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[AlohaDawg]

He has to have a guy with a lot of keys, a pushbroom and a bag of that sawdust vomit-picker-upper around 24-7?

That would suck.

[linnea]

Yeah, fo'reals. I just cannot imagine what would make someone snap like that.

Her: I think we should see other people
Him: "You fuckin bitch, you broke my heart!"
Him: *compulsively following her around, like that's possible to do surreptitiously on a tiny island*
Him: *breaking into her house, calling people from her phone book* "Yah I been fuckin her all week man!"
Him: *vandalizes her car* "You fuckin bitch I'll kill you and your kids if you make me lose my job"
Her: *calls police*
JAILARITY
&c.

As a convicted felon, he'll be lucky to get a job sweeping floors -- once he gets outta the state penitentary.  

What did he honestly think? That by vandalizing her car and breaking into her house, she'd somehow come to her senses and say, "OMG BABY, you are the only man for me. I love you so much! You cared enough to break into my house and vandalize my car. THAT IS TRUE LOVE."

Christ. Give me a break. At any rate, I'm going to start an office pool. Five bucks says that he suffocates to death during his first month in the state pen while tossing his cellmate's salad.

[Limmo]

Five bucks says that he suffocates to death during his first month in the state pen while tossing his cellmate's salad.

You are cold, Linnea. You are ice cold.  I like that about you.

[Mantonio]

What did he honestly think? That by vandalizing her car and breaking into her house, she'd somehow come to her senses and say, "OMG BABY, you are the only man for me. I love you so much! You cared enough to break into my house and vandalize my car. THAT IS TRUE LOVE."

Christ. Give me a break. At any rate, I'm going to start an office pool. Five bucks says that he suffocates to death during his first month in the state pen while tossing his cellmate's salad.

Dang, this guy sounds like a Darwin Award waiting to happen. You might not need to use that gun after all. (Except against Polar Bears. I hear those things are mean.)

[jough]

Yeah, from watching HBO I've learned that in a salad tossing situation you should always choose the syrup over the jelly.

Good advice from Smells.  And good news that he's been voted off the island.

[arkabee]

the best bit of opinion on fire-arms as self-protection i've ever heard:

if you are going to have a gun to protect yourself, you will have to change the entirety of your lifestyle to revolve (in the beginning) around the idea of carrying your weapon at all times.  you will sleep with your gun.  when you get off work, you will not look forward to going giraffeing, you will look forward to going home and cleaning your pistol and practicing field-stripping it blindfolded.  it will stop being a piece of metal, and it will become another body part that you are in control of at all times.  once it becomes as much a part of you as anything else is, then you can start to do other things.

because if you look at your gun and think "gun" rather than naturally move your body, point, and think "dead" then you will not be able to protect yourself with your gun but will have to protect yourself from your gun.

--

dude was a cop once, then went to law school.  not sure if he might be a bit extreme about it all, and i paraphrased, been awhile sicne that conversation happened, but he has an excellent point.

[AlohaDawg]

No one remotely interested in gun safety would ever publicly advocate sleeping with a firearm. I agree with the sentiment that gun owership and intention for the gun to be a primary means of home/self defense is a commitment and requires investiment of time and effort to make sure that the gun owner is knowledgable and capable of safely owning and, if necessary, proficiently using a firearm.

And people whose children find and manage to fire or use their weapons should be charged with felony crimes, including sharing any charges their children are charged with. There is no excuse for a firearm falling into the hands of a kid.

[pmcd9]

And people whose children find and manage to fire or use their weapons should be charged with felony crimes, including sharing any charges their children are charged with. There is no excuse for a firearm falling into the hands of a kid.

We live in the land of unintended consequenses.  People try to keep guns away from kids because they fear for their safety, so when idiot kid who has no idea what a gun can do gets his hand on it he treats it like a toy.  Bang, he kills himself or one of his friends.  People who familarize their children with weapons and demonstrate the awesome power they contain virtually never misuse a firearm by mistake.

~Paul

[side_show]

I originally had a two page rant here.

Then I realized that I'm from a totally different country, and that my ways are not your ways, and that there's no changing that.

So go ahead you crazy Yanks, shoot each other to bits for all I care.*

* Of course I don't mean this, but jeeze, it's just become abundantly clear to me how dis-similar our two similar countries are.  In my neck of the woods several of the opinions above would be found only in the minds of weirdos who live in sheds without electricity.