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[CortJstr]

I've often wondered what would happen if you put up a plaque that said "thou shalt not steal" and then referenced the statute and the statute language for the state or jurisidiction right under it. Would the arguement against the commandments being posted still stand? It would be an interesting experiment.

I've often wondered what would happen if people started using bibles that were translated into to actual regular English instead of all this arbitrary "thou" and "begat" crap.

Uh, not to derail, but such editions exist. I bought and read for a class last semester a translation of Genesis that was done in modern English, with the only archaisms retained ones that enhanced meaning. It was very well-done and interesting reading throughout, even the weird bits about Abraham growing 70 meters tall and shit.

I know they exist but they're not exactly being read at mass or anything.

[side_show]

Oh, oh, linnea - do you by any chance watch Oprah?  I never used to, but since I'm off for the summer, I tend to see more daytime TV than the average person.  There was an episode of Oprah with Lisa Ling, (a re-run that I've actually seen twice, where she went to a mens' prision for a month.  They showed all the weapons that had been confiscated in a recent sweep, and talked about how the main way that shives make it in to prison are 1) they're made there (I hear AD and Ash are working on an instructional how-to video - makes a great post-sentencing gift, BTW!) and 2) they're keistered in.  That's right, up the butt.  I hope your stalker friend tries to smuggle something in.  Something that gets... discovered... and confiscated.  On the show I watched they showed all the things that were keistered into the prison, and some of them were disturbingly large, and some of them... well it was just confusing... the how, and the why.

Also, I love that the guy has been faking being a geologist, I mean, come on, if you're gonna fake a profession, why not fake something cool.  How does one fake being a geologist?  Why does one fake being a geologist?  Does it attract the ladies or something?  Cause I know for me, whether my geologist has his papers or not is totally what determins it for me.

Fake Geologist Theatre:  

"I find this rock from the paleozoic period to be especially interesting."  
"Dude, that's totally a poo that you're holding."  
"No it's a rock."  
"No, guy, it's totally a poo.  It's a poo."  
"Oh, well it does come from the paleozoic period."  
"No, it's from my dog.  My dog just pooed and now you're holding it."  
"Oh."
"Yeah"
"Oh."
"Gawd, you suck so hard."
"Oh."
"It's because you're a fake geologist that you suck."
"Oh."
"Yeah."

[AlohaDawg]

During one of my fun former jobs I used to visit a men's correctional facility once a month and had to hang out in shakedown for the inmates I had to interview.

That's the room they march them into, stip them down and make them perform several choreographed maneuvers to ensure no smuggling is happening which includes bending over, spreading your cheeks, squatting, lifting one foot and then the other, all while naked.

Some the guards were way too  into making the inmates dance and one was especially fond of the rubber glove. It was disturbing.

[St_Zartan]

Some the guards were way too  into making the inmates dance and one was especially fond of the rubber glove. It was disturbing.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that careers in law enforcement and / or corrections would have been a magnet for sadists.

Prison rape

Oh, and people? Coyly paraphrasing a Chris Rock routine doesn't really change the fact that you are, basically, saying "I hope someone gets violently raped". This guy may be an assjack with a seriously tenuous grip on reality who desperately needs a time-out from society, but come on - realizing that there is a distinct possibility that a human being will be raped in prison and not giving a damn, or worse, actually finding it grimly satisfying, doesn't really give you the moral high ground.

[pmcd9]

Oh, and people? Coyly paraphrasing a Chris Rock routine doesn't really change the fact that you are, basically, saying "I hope someone gets violently raped". This guy may be an assjack with a seriously tenuous grip on reality who desperately needs a time-out from society, but come on - realizing that there is a distinct possibility that a human being will be raped in prison and not giving a damn, or worse, actually finding it grimly satisfying, doesn't really give you the moral high ground.

That's right, you tell 'em Zart, we don't believe in cruel and unusual punishment here in Texas.

~Paul

[pmcd9]

I know they exist but they're not exactly being read at mass or anything.

They are in widespread use in most evangelical denominations.

~Paul

[pmcd9]

I also would like to wager that he'd be a queen bee, and he might very well die in the manner that Blister said. http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01262005

Someone said that the strip had returned to form.  Reading this strip from seven or six months ago tells me that it ain't so.

~Paul

[linnea]

Oh, and people? Coyly paraphrasing a Chris Rock routine doesn't really change the fact that you are, basically, saying "I hope someone gets violently raped". This guy may be an assjack with a seriously tenuous grip on reality who desperately needs a time-out from society, but come on - realizing that there is a distinct possibility that a human being will be raped in prison and not giving a damn, or worse, actually finding it grimly satisfying, doesn't really give you the moral high ground.

I have to respectfully disagree. I believe that we were engaging in a bit of "gallows humor."  Getting stalked is terrifying. It changes your life. You feel defenseless (even if you have a bunch of people who are watching your back), and it helps to think that the perp will meet his comeuppance.

Gallows humor is vastly different than actually buying a carton of smokes and a few toilet plungers and then sweet-talking the warden into gifting them to a couple of his most sadistic behemoths.

Also, our conversation did not solely revolve around violent prison rape. I believe that we were also talking about shivs and inmates storing junk in their respective trunks. Prison is not a nice place to be, just like Mr. Asshole's defense lawyers are not being paid to be nice to the victims. They get to lie about Mr. Asshoe's ex girlfriend and call her a mentally ill nymphomaniac on the stand and watch her cry as she tries to make them stop.

Anyway, I am sure that Pruno (Nice Pete's schnapps/rocket fuel that he made from raisins) and cigarettes will also factor heavily into Mr. Asshole's new life in the state penitentary.

[pmcd9]

Paul: Teaching most definitely is a positive solution.

Keeping kids ignorant about guns makes about as much sense as abstinense only sex education and just say no drug education.

The Boy knows how to use a gun...

Gun safety is all about education...

My Dad reminds us that gun control means hitting your target...

[jough]

That's a nice grouping there, Paul.

Also, is The Boy your son or other relative, or one of the neighbourhood kids who comes around to shoot guns and eat ribs?

[pmcd9]

Also, is The Boy your son or other relative, or one of the neighbourhood kids who comes around to shoot guns and eat ribs?

It's best not to ask too many questions.

~Paul

[jough]

Ash, how much time did you spend inside?

[AlohaDawg]

Again, it's best not to ask too many questions.  Let's keep as Ash as our friend, I say.

[AugustWest]

Ash, post a dang footnote for your references!

[linnea]

Anyway, I am sure that Pruno (Nice Pete's schnapps/rocket fuel that he made from raisins) and cigarettes will also factor heavily into Mr. Asshole's new life in the state penitentary.

OK you brought up another favourite, not me.

Good Pruno is a science. (...very well researched article on jailhouse hooch...)
ALSO: I really don't give a toss for whether or not the jail rape comments are serious or 'gallows humour'. If convicted, Mr. Asshole has to root hog or die as a result of his own actions.

ANOTHER NOTE: If convicted as an abuser of women and sent to a mid security yard* or higher, the 'upright cons' will exile his ass on arrival once word gets around**. This means he won't get the protection of hanging out with his own group of dudes from the same geographic/racial background. In essence, he will be free meat to steal from and fuck with, and perhaps even just to fuck. Dude will have every chance he's ever wanted to prove just how mentally and physically tough he is in the game of survival.

To sum up: If he's convicted, either through plea or a trial, I don't care what happens to him due to his own friggin' actions. What I can hope is that he emerges debt paid and understanding how to be a man, not a shitstain. It's all on him. He's on the ugly train to grow-up town.

*If sent to a low security yard his life will be easier as there are fewer thugs and most dudes are just skating towards an oncoming release date.

**Assuming he is caucasion. Other racial groups have different and varying sensitivities on the issue.

Ash, that is one hell of great article. Thank you.

Also, smells, the geologist thing made me come this close to peeing my ##### from laughing so hard. The dude is seriously unhinged.

As far as the "growing up" bit...When I first met Mr. Asshole, I thought that he was somewhere close to my age (I am in my mid-twenties). Turns out the guy is 45. He still hasn't grown up, so we'll see what happens to him in prison.  

The lame part is that the criminal trial (felony charges) could take up to a year. Meanwhile he will be free on bond.

Good news is that he's staying off the island for a while longer.

Bad news = the judge let him drop his "third-party custodian". That measure gave a lot of protection to his victims because he had to remain within eyesight of this person twenty-four hours a day, AND that person would automatically be held liable if Mr. Asshole committed a crime while he was in their care.  At any rate, now he can go to job interviews and do whatever he likes. I'm guessing that he'll try his damndest to get a job before the felony conviction strikes.

At any rate, I hope that he gets everything that he so richly deserves. He's already proven what a big, big man he is by terrorizing a woman that he works with, and threatening the life of an ex-girlfriend and her children. Breaking into her house and stealing stuff is what real men do when they get dumped. Pardon me, I am afraid that if I roll my eyes any harder that they'll fall out of my skull.

Yep, Mr. Asshole, you are indeed a real man. Let's see how far your charade holds up in the big house, motherfucker.