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[Victoria Waterfield]

Current kid status, 9/18
MFK giraffeer suggested cutting a piece of toast in the shape of a star; this has proven irresistible to even the fussiest child.

[side_show]

I just want to note that I never even check for toddler updates on Achewood.  I just read 'em here when I see the thread has a new post... so thanks for keeping up with this y'all.

[Toaster]

My mother has found that merely telling my nephew that we will eat his food is enough for him to want it more. No actual eating of said food is neccessary.

Speaking of which, I frequently call my little nephew Little Nephew. This provides me with endless amounts of amusement. My sister (the boy's mother) is not familiar with Achewood, so she doesn't get why I giggle everytime I say it.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Speaking of which, I frequently call my little nephew Little Nephew. This provides me with endless amounts of amusement. My sister (the boy's mother) is not familiar with Achewood, so she doesn't get why I giggle everytime I say it.

If he starts talking in l33tspeak-ebonics, and wearing tiny ##### on each leg, it's all your fault.

[jay-ell]

I've found what proves irresistible to a fussy child is eating his motherfuck*ng toast yourself. Instant desire, have a backup ready.

Ditto Womabat.

This doesn't work with my kid most of the time.  (It has worked exactly once, with toast, in fact.  But it had to be accompanied by sound effects.)  But if he sees us eating food off his tray that he doesn't want, he pushes the rest of it over towards the chow thief -- as if to say, "Be my guest, I ain't eatin' that crap." 

He thought it was funny when I started sucking raisins off the kitchen table like a dustbuster, but he still won't eat raisins. 

[jaydub]

I had recently heard of "Toy Timeouts" where you have a basket that toys go to until the following weekend if the kid doesn't keep them picked up.  Unfortunately, my daughter turned it around on me last night.  She was ready to get out of the tub and I asked her to pick up her bath toys first.  She said, "No, that's OK.  You can put them on toy timeout."  Effectively, she was paying me to pick up her toys.  I went ahead and did it, just to show that I would, but it wasn't really the effect I was looking for.

[Golfhaus]

A lady-friend of my past (as opposed to a ladyfriend of my past) once collected all of her sons' toys in garbage bags and had plans to throw them out due to long-term neglect on the keeping-the-house-neat front. I had her almost convinced to give them to me to sell on eBay, with the profits going toward our purchase of booze. The toys included various Game Boys, etc., so it would have gotten us at least a couple handles of something good. I was very disappointed to find out that she had, in fact, given the toys back.

Looking back at this, I'm not quite sure how I feel about the lengths to which I tried to make this happen.

[AugustWest]

I had recently heard of "Toy Timeouts" where you have a basket that toys go to until the following weekend if the kid doesn't keep them picked up.  Unfortunately, my daughter turned it around on me last night.  She was ready to get out of the tub and I asked her to pick up her bath toys first.  She said, "No, that's OK.  You can put them on toy timeout."  Effectively, she was paying me to pick up her toys.  I went ahead and did it, just to show that I would, but it wasn't really the effect I was looking for.

Smart girl you got there!

[CortJstr]

A perfect example of DUE TO PUNISHMENT missed out on.

I had almost forgotten that this was the actual origin of that phrase.

[theinevitable]

I had recently heard of "Toy Timeouts" where you have a basket that toys go to until the following weekend if the kid doesn't keep them picked up.  Unfortunately, my daughter turned it around on me last night.  She was ready to get out of the tub and I asked her to pick up her bath toys first.  She said, "No, that's OK.  You can put them on toy timeout."  Effectively, she was paying me to pick up her toys.  I went ahead and did it, just to show that I would, but it wasn't really the effect I was looking for.

my mom used to do this. That was like... the idea of my toys... gone for a whole week...
that was like the Hell of Toys. It made me so upset.

[Victoria Waterfield]

Current kid status, 9/23
You know how women can’t squat or kneel in modern jeans without a certain cleft showing? Welcome to the preschool ice cream social.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I had recently heard of "Toy Timeouts" where you have a basket that toys go to until the following weekend if the kid doesn't keep them picked up.  Unfortunately, my daughter turned it around on me last night.  She was ready to get out of the tub and I asked her to pick up her bath toys first.  She said, "No, that's OK.  You can put them on toy timeout."  Effectively, she was paying me to pick up her toys.  I went ahead and did it, just to show that I would, but it wasn't really the effect I was looking for.

ZING! We've run into this too.  "Put my toys in timeout, I don't give a shit.  I ain't pickin' up CRAP."

[jaydub]

Current kid status, 9/23
You know how women can’t squat or kneel in modern jeans without a certain cleft showing? Welcome to the preschool ice cream social.

This is one of the reasons I get up in the morning.

[Lt. Geyser Shitdick]

I don't get it.

[AugustWest]

I don't get it.

Who is at preschool functions?

Young mothers with small children.

What are they apt to do while there?

Bend, crouch or stoop over whilst interacting with their pre-schooler.

What's the result?

Very delectable plumber-itis.