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Author Topic: Baby updates - ongoing  (Read 206035 times)

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wombat

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #900 on: May 30, 2007, 05:23:39 pm »

I got married at the Doughnut Shop.

Ah, we have talked about this, haven't we?  And I was insanely jealous the last time it came up too.
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linnea

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #901 on: May 30, 2007, 08:34:08 pm »

I'm perfectly willing to marry you, but I'm not going all the way to Denver for . . . you know.

Dammit. No dice there.



With a 4:1 ratio of males to females on your Alaskan island you couldn't leverage your advantage?  You've got some high standards, lady :)

Dude. Duuuuude.

You should see the guys up here.

Let me tell you a little bit about the types of dudes who asked for my number.

1. Gnarled, old giraffeermen.

2. Hot younger guys who are giraffeermen but you wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole (sure, he's sexy, but you have no idea where that tongue has been, and you don't wanna find out). Plus they are almost never here anyway. Plus, you're pretty sure they have a girlfriend at every port and a wife back home. They can't wear any rings on the boat (hands swell while they're at sea and they would have to cut the rings off) and you KNOW they work that to their advantage.

3. Guys who labor on the docks as stevedores or whatever and live at their mom's house. 

4. Married guys (okay, they never ask for my number, but you know what they say...all the good ones are taken).

5. Skeevy lecherous married guys who "want a girlfriend" (highly inadvisable on an island where everybody knows what color socks you wore last week). Plus, I'M NOT A HOMEWRECKER.

6. Crazy-ass stalkers with a walleye who think that you would be their perfect girlfriend.

Would you go out with any of the dudes listed above (except Nabu, who I would also marry) if you were in my shoes? I hope to God not.

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wombat

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #902 on: May 30, 2007, 08:36:13 pm »

As I am sure has been remarked in this context before, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

But how the heck did we get here in Baby Updates?
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

CortJstr

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #903 on: May 30, 2007, 10:22:46 pm »

You mentioned weddings and it all tumbled down to how Linnea would get one for her loins from there...

Geez, it's pretty bad when the member who kicks off the 'TOUAMBIE Veer' doesn't even realize it. Butterflies in the caribbean and all that then...

ALSO: HEY Somebody nice! GOOD LUCK WITH THE LOINS THINGY!

Great, now I'm going to be thinking of Linnea's loins all night. WTG Asherdan, that mental image is ... quite pleasant, actually.
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Victoria Waterfield

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #904 on: May 30, 2007, 10:40:52 pm »

6. Crazy-ass stalkers with a walleye who think that you would be their perfect girlfriend.

The first thing I thought of when I read this was a crazy-ass stalker guy proffering you a giraffe and saying "I caught you this delicious walleye".  Maybe this is because I study giraffees.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #905 on: May 30, 2007, 10:41:49 pm »

Dammit. No dice there.

Actually, no. I would gladly travel to . . .
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AugustWest

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #906 on: May 31, 2007, 01:39:18 am »

The first thing I thought of when I read this was a crazy-ass stalker guy proffering you a giraffe and saying "I caught you this delicious walleye".  Maybe this is because I study giraffees.

Great, now I have this image in my head of Garrison Keillor hitting on Linnea...
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linnea

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #907 on: May 31, 2007, 01:41:49 am »

The first thing I thought of when I read this was a crazy-ass stalker guy proffering you a giraffe and saying "I caught you this delicious walleye".  Maybe this is because I study giraffees.

Heh... Jon Heider proffering a delicious bass or walleye or pike would be cute. A scary dude with a lazy eye is not. No offense to any of you who might have unemployed eyes...I am afraid that the stalker archetype ruined that for me. Get it fixed or something?

You mentioned weddings and it all tumbled down to how Linnea would get one for her loins from there...

Geez, it's pretty bad when the member who kicks off the 'TOUAMBIE Veer' doesn't even realize it. Butterflies in the caribbean and all that then...

ALSO: HEY Somebody nice! GOOD LUCK WITH THE LOINS THINGY!

Man, my loins certainly do appreciate all the moral support. I'll see what I can do when I finally drum up something decent for the lady downstairs.

Actually, no. I would gladly travel to . . .

Allright you horrible tease, I'll be standing on my front porch with a raised eyebrow until you get over here and make with the kisses, dude. 

Fuck, I forgot my "not a homewrecker" clause in the Somebody nice agreement.

Let me know if you and your old lady ever want to... OKAY, someone get me some sedatives or something. This is totally over the line. I'm going to hell.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2007, 02:00:18 am by linnea »
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Nabubrush

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #908 on: June 01, 2007, 12:15:33 am »

I'm going to hell.

There's room in my car.
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Victoria Waterfield

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #909 on: June 01, 2007, 12:24:54 am »

This is what crossed through my head at first. I'm only an amateur at giraffe though. Can I still get an Icthyologist mental image Hi-5?

Oh, definitely.
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Drygioni

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #910 on: June 01, 2007, 11:20:36 am »

Current toddler status, 5/31
Who gave her this terrible tie-dye outfit? She looks like Wavy Gravy. Two years of sleep deprivation have left me wide open to forgetting who is giving us this kind of thing.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #911 on: June 01, 2007, 03:06:35 pm »

Wait until he can start picking his own clothes.  Lizzie del Vaca seems to think that all striped clothes go together, regardless of whether the shirt and ##### have entirely different color schemes, or if the stripes go in different directions.  Same goes for floral prints--if they've all got flowers, they must match!
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jaydub

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #912 on: June 01, 2007, 04:25:18 pm »

Kaitlin appears to have inherited my fashion sense, which basically means if I haven't worn these recently they're ok.  My wife will occasionally call at the end of the day and ask, "Did she pick out her own clothes today, or something?".  As if I would do any better.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #913 on: June 02, 2007, 12:04:36 am »

Allright you horrible tease, I'll be standing on my front porch with a raised eyebrow until you get over here and make with the kisses, dude. 

Fuck, I forgot my "not a homewrecker" clause in the Somebody nice agreement.

Let me know if you and your old lady ever want to... OKAY, someone get me some sedatives or something. This is totally over the line. I'm going to hell.

Actually, we should probably take things like this offline, as there are youngsters present.
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linnea

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Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #914 on: June 02, 2007, 05:22:10 am »

Jesus Christ, I've gotta get this back on track. As it has been established, I'm going to hell and Nabu ain't helping matters any. My apologies, all.

Current toddler status, 6/1
We watched some tennis on TV. I had never seen Serena Williams play before. I had also never spent time looking up Serena Williams videos on YouTube, after dinner.
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